Okie-Dokie. Please read ALL of what I have to say first before jumping into the story.
Ahem...This is my VERY FIRST Death Note story, and I am writing from my bare minimal knowledge of DN (okay...so I know a lot more than the bare minimum...I've seen nearly every episode of the anime and though I have not read the manga, I've read enough fanfictions to get the drift of things). This story is my erasing L's death...its sort of a pre-killing thingy. Oh well, you'll see. Oh, and this along with the next chapter are simply prefaces...this one is inspired by "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson...the story...well...kinda obvious.
Plot: In a freak twist of fate, Light becomes the only living member left of the Yagami family. The day of the funeral, Light ends up losing most of his memory due to a head injury. Now, L is pretending that he and Light are dating...and that Light is his "assistant" on the Kira case. It all works smoothly so long as Light has no memory of being Kira. But, will that last very long?
Warning: Upcoming caugh caugh mature scenes. Yaoi, LxLight.
Disclaimer: I hold no claim over the Death Note series nor any of the following characters in this story.
MWUHAHA...
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Preface #1: Light
Light shivered under the shower head as the water slowly morphed from it's cold state to a sluggish warm. Tingles ran down his spine as the water finally became warm. The numbing heat caused his whole demeanor to change. The tall and proud head held high facade he held shattered under the torrential water. His shoulders slumped and his head fell. His breath became ragged as shutters racked his body. His left hand clutched the metal pole that connected to the wall for support. If it hadn't of been for the pole, it would have been a give in that his legs would have given out on him; leaving him weak and pitiful on his knees in the tub basin.
In the shelter of water, steam, and the shower walls Light was free. He was alone in a place where no one would enter. It was a place of well know privacy where he could be undisturbed. Not even the likes of Ryuk would disturb him during his thirty minute showering period. And because of the absolute privacy, Light allowed his emotions and everything else hit and surface...just like the water, falling and breaking.
His hand gripped the cold metal pole until his knuckles went white. The color reminded him so much of that stupid Ryuzaki's skin, bone white. The thought alone was enough to send more shudders of crazy strength to knock into his body. The water that at first had seemed perfectly warm now was simply not warm enough. He needed to be engulfed. He needed to feel his skin burning, to feel human. All because the thirty minutes he had was the only time he could afford to be a simple human. Outside of the confinement, he was Kira. But inside, he was Light, not the monster he had become.
Light felt truly sick for his actions. He felt sick for how far he had already gone, and how much farther he had to go. He knew as the seconds passed that each was taken away from Ryuzaki. He knew it was today that the deed had to be done. He still was not exactly sure how he would go about doing the dirty dead, but knew he would come up with something. Last minute planning was his best. But as the water burned his skin, he realized that he truly did not want to plan. He didn't want to have to kill Ryuzaki. The man had somehow weaseled his way into Lights mind as someone of meaning. He had to do it, but it did not mean he wanted to.
Light slowly let out a long and dragging breath. Two tears slid out of his hazel eyes and mixed with the burning heat of the water from the shower head. It was almost as if the two salted drops that fell from his eyes only existed to himself. No one would ever see them, no one would ever know he cried them. No one would ever know the burning struggle that ripped and tore at his mind. His shell never revealed his true nature, it never hinted at all the secrets combated into his large span of knowledge.
The idea of how completely unseen he was to everyone around him was nearly comical. No one suspected (other than that damned L) that he, Light, could possibly even be somewhat associated with this Kira figure. Of corse not! He was Light, and Light was perfect. Light had perfect grades, perfect family, perfect friends, perfect looks...he had it all. So, why would anyone other than Ryuzaki suspect him? Light chuckled softly underneath the falling water drops. No one knew. Ryuzaki suspected him. Though, the detective had no solid evidence. Besides, Light had started to suspect that Ryuzaki was going soft on him. The strangely intriguing man had been claiming how Light was his first real friend more than he exclaimed that Light was Kira. Light considered taking it as a sign of hope, that maybe Ryuzaki was beginning to doubt that Light, perfect Light, could be Kira. Though the chance of that was close to zero. Ryuzaki would suspect Light of being Kira until the day he died...which would be sooner than he thought.
At thinking of Ryuzaki's death, Light fell onto the hard porcelain tub. His ass was aching from the hard impact, but he didn't care. He didn't even so much as wince from the burning pain it caused the bone and muscles underneath the skin of his plush bottom. His hand squeezed the pole as hard as it could, then released its grasp of the pole with desperation. His knuckles were aching from their release of the solid metal. His whole body seemed in pain. His skin was raw from the absolute hot water tumbling over him. But, nothing hurt quite as much as his head. To his surprise, he found himself curling up into a Ryuzaki position. He rested his head on his knees and allowed his head to ramble on.
How-how in the hell am I going to do this? Why the fuck did I even let things go this far? I was right, I know I was. The first two deaths were righteous, defense even. Not for myself, but for the innocent. Though, I'm not that innocent anymore, am I? I've killed good men, men of the law. Raye Penbar...he really didn't deserve to die. I simply killed him to save my own ass. And now, now L. But, can I? As much as I hate it, he is the first person I ever really could relate to. Ironic. I hate his guts, his quirky ways that are so unlike mine. But, he's a equal. Before him I was left alone, surrounded by complete and total idiots, people I hated so fucking much. People I still hate. But, aren't those the exact same people I'm trying to fucking save! I'm trying to save those too incompetent to fucking take care of themselves. The people that fight fire with fire. But, I'm doing that as well. I can't quit now though. It's too late. I could turn myself in, but for what? Misa would still be out there. She would still be writing fucking names. Then, only god knows how many others would end up with a Death Note as well. Who know what kind of people they would be. But, I can't kill L. He...he means something to me. I know he does, he has to. I wouldn't feel so miserable about having to kill him if he didn't. But, it's almost as if he already knows this day is coming. He told me himself he knew he would most likely be sacrificing his life for this case. He...he's sacrificing himself to me. To Kira. I have to...but, I don't want to.
Just then, there was a knock on the bathroom door. His thirty minutes were up. Light sighed, not yet rising from his crouched position. He would sit there another minute. But, another knock followed the previous one, along with a all too recognizable voice.
"Light-kun, are you done yet? It's been over thirty minutes. Normally you only take thirty minutes exactly. You are not doing something that should concern me, are you? You know, I could put camera's in there as well." At the mention of Ryuzaki adding a surveillance camera in the bathroom, Light sprang up and turned off the knob of the hot water off. He hadn't any need to turn the cold water, seeing as how lately he had become prone to burning showers. His own personal punishment on himself.
Light carefully stepped out of the shower onto the little white mat on the faux ceramic tile. Ever so slowly, he began to place the mask back upon his face, the one everyone around him had associated with what they believed to be the real Light. But damn were they wrong.
As Light meticulously dried himself off in front of the steam covered mirror, he ritualistically ripped the "Light" manner of thinking, replacing it with Kira. Kira was going to kill L. Kira was going to become god of a new nation. Light was just the pussy in him that got in the way.
So, as he dressed, he started to form a plan. A plan to end L. So he, Kira, could become god.
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