A/N: From the same notebook and on the same planet as "On Rakatan". This could in some ways be considered a monologue I guess :) It's a moment between Revan and Avery, while other characters appear those two are the important ones. Oh before I forget again, I do not own Star Wars or Knight of the Old Republic.
Dreamscapes
Revan knelt on the white sand beach enjoying the cool breeze off the ocean and admiring the colours of the sunset. She ran gentle hands along the sleeveless white robe she wore admiring the contrast to the black body armour. She smoothed the folds pressing the stark white against the harsh black. Such nonsense really. Life was never that simple, choices never that easy.
In the back of her mind she heard Avery's soft, weary assent. So much for solitude. Neither of them was ever alone anymore. Gone were the days of blackouts and fadeouts, of waking with no idea of where you were and even less who you were. Now, when Avery ran loving fingertips over Carth's jaw Revan felt the prickle of his stubble and when Revan pressed her face against Canderous scarred back Avery felt the ridges of flesh against her own scarred cheek.
And now, well … now, now they were here, at an unknown beach on an unnamed planet contemplating lives, both past and future. She had been meditating for a while now or trying to. She had been distracted by the faint flickering always at the periphery of her sight. Taking a deep breath she opened herself up to the Force, allowed the vision to overtake her, to show her what she needed to know.
They stood in the Shadowlands of Kashyyk, both Avery and Revan. Hand in hand they exchanged a shy smile of greeting.
"Is that Jolee's house?"
Bright light shone through the windows, a warm and welcome refuge amidst the damp and misty forest. The garden to the side flourished and a small fence had been erected around both house and garden. The door opened and Juhani stepped out. Tilting her head she listened carefully, wiping her hands on a towel and throwing it back into the house. Laughing she called something out but neither Avery nor Revan could understand what. They just watched stunned as the usually reserved Cathar walked out of the small yard and gathered two wriggling shadows into her arms. She continued laughing and smiling and pressed kisses to the shades in her arms.
That was all they were – shades but in an instinctive almost visceral way the two women knew. The shades were children, their children. At this moment they were no more than a shape, a promise of a future as yet uncertain but it was there. Why Juhani would raise them, who their father would be, all that was hidden, but the knowledge of their existence, their happiness, all that the Force had gifted them with.
The two shades pulled away from Juhani and came uncertainly towards the two women. Kneeling both Avery and Revan held out their arms. The shades remained just that, shades but for a moment they became more substantial. Revan and Avery buried their faces against small shoulders, hugged tightly the small sturdy forms, relishing the contact. Slowly the shades pulled away and the vision faded leaving Revan kneeling in the sand with tears streaming down her face and Avery's heartbroken sobbing echoing in her mind.
"At least we have a future, Avery. Don't cry."
"I…I…Revan. To know that…it is possible. For us to survive this and to," Avery burst into tears again.
"The Force only shows us possibilities, Avery but yes, I agree, to know that the that last few months will not have been in vain is …overwhelming. Still for us to survive, for us to have that future or any future means…"
"… Malak's death. I share your memories of him."
For a moment they were swept up in a memory so strong it almost seemed tangible. A tall man with the markings of his majority stark against his freshly shaved head sat on golden slope on Dantooine. She could remember when he became old enough to shave, how she'd used his cuts as practice in Force Healing before an exam. He was watching the sunset, talking softly and pressing kisses into the hair of the woman sitting between his knees. With her back pressed against his chest it was easy to see that she was just a little shorter than he was. Her dark blonde hair was pulled into a Padawan's tail and braids but Revan knew it would already be pulling free and whisping about her face.
She was tracing patterns on the back of Malak's hand and laughing at something he'd just said. The two Jedi shared an easy intimacy that spoke of years of friendship and love. "Hello Revan. Will you join us?" The woman smiled her slow, sweet smile and Revan was hard pressed to keep from crying, she hadn't seen her in so long!" Most everyone's away on survival exercises. We're free for a bit, even Master Doran's away, on Coruscant I think."
"Renee…Malak"
"Yes?" They both watched her. Her two best friends in the universe, alive, well, happy. Together.
She shook the memory away. There was no time, no purpose in regrets.
"There is time, Revan. Time to remember what was. You should keep those memories close. Don't let the darkness drown them."
"What would you know, Avery? Your memories are falsehoods, deceptions." Revan spat bitterly, lashing out in her pain.
"If my falsehoods can strengthen me, bolster my courage than what can your truths do, Revan? Defeat the Sith? Save the Galaxy?"
"He was my family. Closer than any sibling could be. I led him to the darkness and now I'm to kill him for it?"
"Revan, you've been tormenting yourself about this for weeks now"
"Perhaps he'll come back to the light?"
"Do we walk in the light?"
"Mostly" Revan snorted, her mood lighter, the despair she was prone to lifting slightly.
A faint sound behind them had Revan on her feet, lightsabers in hand and ignited in a second. The Rakatan blinked startled eyes at bright violet light.
"I came to light your way back up to the temple, Master Jedi. The elders have nearly finished with the ritual." The Rakatan held the smoking torch high as if to prove his words.
"Thank you. The temple will be open now?" Revan looked at the stars scattered across the night sky and eerie green luminescence of the Star Forge.
"The elders had hoped to finish by midday, however…"
"…it took longer than expected. It makes no difference. Are my companions asleep?"
"I believe so, Master Jedi"
"Then let's get to it. We don't want to wake them"
"Of course, Master Jedi"
With a heavy heart Revan followed the Rakatan over the dunes. No matter what happened she couldn't help but feel that she held a losing hand.
A/N: For more on Renee read "Awakenings". There were a few lines in this one that I fell in love with. Again please Review I'm interested in your thoughts.
