EEK: This is a one shot and was inspired from watching a musiv vid on youtube consisting of Fullmetal Alchemist and Weird Al's song I'll sue you. Decided what exactly would happen if the new government gave the power to sue to the people.
I did not put the whole song in here, mainly just the last one. So not really a song fic.
WARNING: Crack fic with oocness. Second one, although, I don't think this is very funny. Mainly a one-shot and my FIRST Fullmetal fic.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything found in this fic. No FMA or weird Al lyrics (which are italicized).
Enjoy!
Ed vs. Mustang: round 2
Ed was looking at the new document that was given to him. Since the military was not in control anymore, than the new government made a few changes. And this was what document was saying. a new change that empowered the people a little more.
"We can sue now? Hmm…" Ed muttered.
Al looked at Ed fearing what he was thinking. "Brother, you're not thinking of sueing people are you?"
"Why not Al? After we got your body back, I need something to do. Let's see...who should I sue first?" Ed thought a moment.
"Brother, I thought we looking for a way to bring your limbs back too…" Al asked, trailing off and seeing that Ed was too much in deep thought.
Ed just looked around until the phone rang. "Edward Elric." Ed answered.
"Wasn't that a bit short on the greeting?" a voice on the other end remarked waiting for a reaction.
"Who are you calling…" Here Ed stopped his rant and decided who his first victim would be.
"Fullmetal?" The voice on the end asked at the sudden silence.
I'll
sue ya!
I'll take all of your money
I'll sue ya!
If you
even look at me funny
"I gotta go. You wanted to talk right? I'll be there in just a few moments." Ed replied hanging up with a grin to be feared on his face.
He took a look at the letter again looking for what he needed to do. Finding what he wanted he looked at Al and motioned for him to follow. They went to the place where you go if you want to sue someone. After waiting in line for a while, they were given a piece of paper and told to fill it out. Ed took the paper and sat down with Al.
"Brother, you're not really going to sue the general, are you?"
"Of course Al. He's had the last of his amusement at my expense." Ed replied looking down at the paper and began to fill it out.
Name: Edward Elric
Person suing: General Roy Mustang
Reason: short jokes
Witness: Alphonse Elric
After filling in a few other small areas, such as birth date and rank and such, he turned it. They told him it would be ready by the end of the day.
I'm
gonna sue, sue
Yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah that's what
I'm gonna do
I'm gonna sue, sue
Yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue,
sue, that's right I'm gonna sue you
Once they left the building they heading to the General's office. Even though they got Al's body back and he and Al found a way back through the gate, they were still under Mustang. Ed hoped that he would get see the look on the generals face when he found out that one of his subordinates was suing him.
They made their usual entrance. Ed throwing the door open and Al followed. Mustang noticed a slightly off Al, and a much too happy Ed. Leaning back in his chair he was ready to hand them an assignment. It was not something that he could just hand over to one of the new alchemists because it involved much more than an amateur's touch.
"Fullmetal, this is your next assignment. The government specifically asked for you and seeing the assignment I can see why." Mustang said in way of greeting.
As Ed took it and looked at it a knock was heard.
"Come in." Mustang called.
The door opened and there was an official with piece of paper in hand. He walked up to the desk and handed the paper to Mustang.
"This is for you General." The messenger replied before walking backward quickly in fear of getting flamed.
Ed, who had just finished and saw the man turn and walk quickly out, smirked. He looked at Mustang to see his reaction and was filled with glee. This was indeed what he was thinking.
"Hmm came sooner than expected." Ed remarked.
"Edward…This is the most ridiculous thing you have done."
"yeah yeah. See ya in court General." Ed turned and walked out with only a hand wave as a farewell. The date was apparently set for the next day and he needed to prepare.
Next day at the appointed time
Ed and Mustang walked in and took their respective seats. They waited with only Al and Mustangs other subordinates in the room. Once the official was ready they began.
"Edward Elric, you are suing General Mustang because of short jokes?" The official asked in disbelief.
"Hey, when you've been hearing them come from him for 5 years, yeah I say it's about time I take his money."
I'll
sue ya!
I'll take all of your money
I'll sue ya!
If you
even look at me funny
"General?" The official invited.
"He is my subordinate. You can ask any of my subordinates, I joke around with them all the time." Mustang replied. "Besides, how can you not enjoy taunting someone of his lack of stature?"
Sighing the Official waved it off. Looking at Ed he continued. "What are your terms?"
"Half of his money, a rank, ban from alchemy AND ban him from the short jokes."
Mustang at this glared at Ed. He knew Ed was crazy, but this was pushing it. The official rubbed his temples preventing a headache. This was the most ridiculous case he's had so far. He came to a conclusion.
"Mustang you are banned from any short jokes and you owe Mr Elric a 2000 cens." The official stated.
"What? That's a rip off! That's not 5 years worth of short jokes!" Ed protested.
"Looks like you still can't beat me mid…Fullmetal." Mustang replied preventing himself from saying 'midget'.
"This case is closed." The official walked out of the room looking for some painkillers.
Mustang walked over to Ed and handed over the required money. Ed took it and walked out with Al following behind trying to cheer his brother up from his supposed 'loss'.
"General, was it really necessary to talk to the official before hand?" Hawkeye asked as she stepped forward followed by the others.
"It's not like I bribed him. Just told him ahead of time. A warning of sorts." Mustang chuckled.
He walked out with his subordinates talking about his supposed 'win'. However, the official outcome is that it was a tie.
The End
EEK: Hope you enjoyed. Please review.
