A/N: I haven't posted anything in a while, and this one has just been sitting in my documents. I thought it was time I shared.
I don't own anything from Harry Potter. I'm just a poor college kid like the rest.
It was a first day like any other, but I had the distinct feeling that this year was going to be vastly different from the others. I boarded the Hogwarts Express alone this year, without my parents who were still in Australia and had no knowledge of my existence. I knew I wouldn't be seeing Ron or Harry for a little while yet. They always made it in the nick of time. I made my way to our cabin and gazed out of the window I'd gazed out of for years thinking about how I thought I'd never see the view again just a few short months ago. The war was over, and I couldn't be happier. Harry, Ron, and I escaped with minimal damage, especially considering what we'd been doing for most of it.
Lost in my thoughts, I almost didn't notice when a bright red shock of hair appeared in the cabin.
"Ginny!"
"Hermione! It feels like it's been forever," she exclaimed.
"It's been like two and a half months, but I completely agree," I answered. "Where are the boys?"
"I left without them. I'll be terribly surprised if they make the train this year. They didn't even start packing until right before I left," she grumbled, while I laughed at the boys' antics.
"You know Hermione, you look sort of different," Ginny said while squinting in my direction.
"Really? I know my hair has grown out enough to be wavy instead of the insanity it used to be, but I haven't changed anything else. Oh, and my skin seems to stay clearer these days, but I attribute that to less stress," I explained. She accepted that easily and we continued our easy chatter until the boys arrived. Truth be told, I'd noticed the changes myself. My hair was shiny and wavy, my skin was perfect, and my teeth seemed to be whiter than ever. I'd honestly just attributed it to my new war-free lifestyle, and in all likelihood that's the actual reason.
Once Harry and Ron got their breath back from their run, we all chatted as the train started moving, knowing we'd be back at Hogwarts in almost no time at all. I turned down the head girl position, so I got to stay with them the whole time. I thought I deserved some peace after all of the chaos since I was eleven, and Headmistress McGonagall completely understood. The head girl was a Ravenclaw and the head boy a Hufflepuff, and I didn't think she could have made better choices. There was too much animosity between Slytherin and Gryffindor to put either in charge without the other suffering.
Soon enough we arrived at Hogwarts and the boys separated from Ginny and I to talk to Seamus and Dean. Ginny and I chatted more about our summers as the sorting feast took place and we cheered on the newest arrivals. Fewer than before, but still more than anyone expected after the devastation of the war. I was personally of the mindset that everyone should start fresh. I knew the war changed me, and I assumed it was the same for nearly everyone, which is why I hadn't pointed Malfoy out to Ginny or the boys yet. They would notice that he was back too soon enough, and they'd probably make a scene, which was completely unnecessary. I snuck a few glances at him, and he didn't even seem to be talking to his friends, not that they were talking to each other, but he seemed subdued to some degree. Despite that, he looked powerful, and he'd clearly filled out from his semi-scrawny youth days. No one could deny that he was attractive, but he still looked so surly, like he hated everyone and everything.
Everyone was knackered from the excitement of the first day—and receiving our new schedules (mostly just me on that one)—so most of us turned in early. Luckily the dorms were mixed for our final year due to the damages caused during the war, so I was able to room with Ginny, despite her being a year younger. She looked like she had something on her mind.
"What's up Ginny?" I asked a little hesitantly. She looked at me for a few seconds before answering.
"It's just this year. After the war, I feel like my life has been so mundane. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it all ended, but I feel like I need something new. A change. If I try to pretend to be the me I used to be I might just go crazy," she almost whispered. I wasn't shocked she felt that way. I'd been feeling it for weeks now.
"I know exactly what you mean. I know I'll be a bookworm forever, but I can't be who I used to be. I'm not her anymore," I agreed. I couldn't be the perfect, stuck-up girl from a year ago. I wasn't her anymore. I felt as if I needed something more, as if something more was in store for me. The innocence of childhood was ripped away from all of us, and we could never get it back. Everyone had to learn to operate without it before we were forced to face the world outside of our little safe haven.
"Any ideas?" She asked with a small smile.
"You know what? I say we just go for it. We should embrace our new selves. We've all grown as people, and there's no reason to be ashamed of that," I said without hesitation.
"You're right, as always. We start tomorrow? Promise?"
"Of course. Tomorrow," I said as I rolled over to go to sleep. This should be interesting, I thought as I drifted off.
Morning came too early, and it seemed as if I wasn't the only one who thought that as I could hear Ginny groaning at having to get up as well. It was the first day of classes, and I needed to get up if I wanted breakfast. I got up with a heave, and pulled Ginny's duvet off of her curled-up form.
"It's so bright," she hissed at me. I poked her cheek with a laugh.
"Do you want breakfast or not?" I asked her smartly.
"Am I a Weasley?" She returned as she slowly got out of bed and pulled on her uniform.
Once I knew she was up, I got dressed as well and we headed to breakfast together. There was very little chatter during breakfast, just as always. Tired teenagers aren't very competent at making conversation, preferring to feed themselves without thinking too much. Even I was a little sluggish in the mornings for the first couple of weeks of school.
Harry and Ron showed up a few minutes later, throwing themselves onto the bench across from us.
"Bloody hell I'm tired," Ron griped as he piled his plate with all sorts of food, not even looking at what he was grabbing.
"We all are mate. It's the first day of classes. I bet Hermione is tired too. Her excitement for class is the only thing keeping her awake at all. Right, Hermione?" Harry asked sarcastically.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Very tired," I answered, distracted by my cereal changing colors every time I tried to sort one color from the others. Breakfast passed by without event, along with Transfiguration and Charms. Only Care of Magic Creatures remained, but I had the feeling that the day had passed too peacefully.
Just as that thought fluttered through my mind I came across something that made me want to smack my head into the nearest wall. Right in the middle of the hallway was Harry and Ron, wands drawn, facing Malfoy, who also had his wand trained between them. While I was deciding if I should interfere or not Ginny rounded the corner and stood next to me.
"They're at it already." She said with a sigh.
"I wish they wouldn't fight. It's pointless, the war is over," I agreed with a sigh of my own. Only seconds passed before Ginny got an evil grin on her face.
"Hey, Hermione?" She asked sweetly.
"Yeah?"
"Remember what we agreed upon last night?"
"Yeah," I assured her with more than a little trepidation.
"Here's your chance," she smiled.
"What do you mean?" I whispered with some panic.
"I mean stop them. Get Malfoy to lower his wand," she challenged.
"Why Malfoy? I'll just tell the boys to let it go and drag them away," I asked curiously.
"The challenge, Hermione. It's for the challenge," she said with apparent glee.
"You've hit your head," I insisted.
"I dare you. Don't be a scaredy-kneasle," she laughed. I sighed. What the fuck, I thought.
"Here goes nothing, you dirty witch," I said as I straightened my spine and moved to walk forward.
"There's my girl. Gryffindor to the core," she hooted quietly, but I could feel my palms start to sweat a little. What was I doing?
The short distance seemed to take hours to close, and everyone's eyes were on me, despite the three boys having their wands raised at one another. I took a deep breath to steady myself as I started to encroach on Malfoy's personal space. If I was doing this, I was going to do it right.
He didn't move as I got close enough to reach out and touch him, seeming to be frozen in place. He didn't move when I leaned in to whisper in his ear either.
"Draco?" I whispered. His eyes darted to mine in shock at my use of his first name. The fact that no one could hear us gave me more confidence than I had any right to have. I leaned in a little closer, accidentally catching his scent. It was perfect. A smell I would never forget. Sleek, sexy, and perfect.
"Fighting so early, after what happened," I nearly purred after catching his scent, my lips brushing his ear slightly at our proximity. I could hear his slight intake of breath and feel the shudder he tried to hide. It made me feel powerful…and desirable. It was like a shot of pure adrenaline.
"Why don't you lower your wand?" I requested, my lips brushing his ear with each word. Seemingly without thought, his wand arm dropped to his side. I pulled away slightly, only to have his eyes meet mine. We stayed that way for longer than was strictly necessary, forgetting about how many people were watching.
Too slowly, I seemed to snap out of the trance I was in. I turned on my toes and flounced away, excited and shocked at what I'd just done. That would show Ginny—it certainly showed me.
My observers didn't know if they should watch me or Malfoy, and confusion was clear on their faces. Even Ginny looked confused at my success.
"What the hell was that?" Ron whispered once I got within hearing distance.
"Oh, nothing. Me saving you from detention and a little dare," I replied with a small grin.
"A dare?" Harry asked.
"A dare," I answered, not giving him anymore information. He shrugged, dismissing it as me just rising to a challenge, which was truly what it started out as, but definitely not what it turned into. As the boys walked away, Ginny had her own question.
"What did you say to him to get him to listen?" She asked with shocked surprise.
"I just asked him to lower his wand," I shrugged. The look on her face told me she wasn't going to accept my answer, but I wasn't ready to reveal the rush of power I felt from being so close to him. I felt invincible at that moment, but vulnerable at the same time. I didn't think I could explain it to her without sounding crazy. It was something I'd never felt before, but I suppose that comes with the territory of doing something you've never done before. Something crazy with someone you've been tortured by for several years of your life.
I was distracted the rest of the day, my eyes roaming in Care of Magical Creatures, and my mind racing as I tried to sleep.
The next day I was able to pay even less attention. I woke up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning, covered in a thin layer of sweat. The dream that woke me prevented me from finding sleep again.
There were grey eyes, Malfoy's eyes, and his scent seemed to surround me. I attributed it to my interesting day and the power I'd felt from our encounter, as I snuck away to the prefect's bath to soak for a while. I needed to relax before I lost it.
Classes started before I was mentally prepared for them, despite being awake for hours. No one said anything about yesterday during breakfast, but I got a few curious glances from around the Great Hall. It seemed that no one knew what to make of yesterday, I know I didn't. It made no sense. I had decided not to participate in fights with him this year, forgiving him for the past, but we hadn't talked and we weren't friends. I only though about how glad I was that no one could see my lips in the hallway. It would have never gone down this quietly if they had. I tried my best to focus as I ate my lunch, remembering Potions that morning and how I felt as if I were being watched.
The feeling of being watched was back at dinner time, and I decided I wasn't just being paranoid. I glanced around the Great Hall, catching a few sets of eyes, each turning away when I caught them. Only one set held onto mine. They were grey eyes, Malfoy's eyes. I couldn't look away, reminded of the dream I'd had. His eyes seemed to look straight into my soul, and I eventually looked away from the intensity. Why didn't he look away? I wondered. I stood up from the bench, my new destination the library, only catching Ginny's concerned look out of the corner of my eye as I walked away. I needed to do a couple of essays and I couldn't focus on them with Ginny's questions or his eyes.
That night was the same, as were the nights following it for days. I wasn't sleeping nearly enough, and I felt it every time a teacher decided to lecture. It was all I could do to stay awake. Even awake, I was unfocused. The dreams were so vivid. He never did anything. He was just there. His eyes, his scent, the power I felt. I took up staring at him more often than not, trying to figure out the puzzle that had become my life much too quickly. When he returned my stares, which was quite often, he jumbled my thoughts and I struggled to look away, but I found that I didn't always want to. The pull felt almost unnatural…magical. I honestly couldn't say I'd be completely surprised if it was. Either someone spiked my drink with some sort of potion or fate has decided to screw up everyone's lives again. Merlin knows that bitch can't stand for anyone having a moment of peace. I steeled myself to confront him, not even really knowing what to ask him, but oddly needing to hear him say something. Anything.
I discreetly followed him out of potions and down a sparsely populated corridor of the castle. A few students were milling about, but not too many. Distracted by my thoughts, I lost sight of him. Cursing myself, I turned back to the main hall to go to the library, deciding I was stupid to even confront him in the first place. Distracted again, I missed the footsteps that nearly matched my own, gasping as an arm slid around my front and a hand over my mouth. I was quickly dragged into a broom closet at the end of the hallway, barely having a chance to struggle.
I hardly had time to register grey eyes in the dim lighting of the closet before his lips crashed onto mine. I didn't react at first, but before I could think about what I was doing I was returning the kiss with an equal amount of passion and fervor. I felt invincible as I tightly gripped the collar of his shirt, dragging him impossibly closer to me. It was like I couldn't help myself as the raw power surged through my system. My hands slithered up to his hair without my permission and tugged on it as he deepened the kiss, his tongue fighting mine for dominance. All too soon we had to breathe, and his lips slid down my jaw, attacking my neck. I gripped his hair tighter as he pulled my knee up around his waist. I could feel all of him, but I wasn't afraid. His teeth grazed my neck, and I moaned loudly, not able to hold back at the pleasure-pain the contact caused. I could feel that he nearly broke skin, but I didn't want him to stop. He stilled at my moan, and I could have cried in frustration.
He slowly pulled away from me, taking a small step back.
"I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly, as if he'd done something unacceptable. Not under my watch. If he thought I was going to give that feeling up after this encounter he was insane. That kiss shattered the past.
"I'm not," I replied confidently as I pushed him against the opposite side of the broom closet and smashed my lips back against his. I couldn't get enough of him and I was running on a huge amount of adrenaline. He was like a drug, and the almost gentleness from before was gone. He slammed my back against the opposite wall and lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist without hesitation, moaning at the friction our new position provided. I bit his lip and he moaned, pushing me harder against the wall, his kisses growing rougher. I was lost to sensation. As he kissed down my neck once more, I didn't even flinch when I saw his gleaming teeth…his fangs. It was a reasonable explanation for what had been going on between us. The fangs only excited me more, and I wanted him to bite me, to pierce my skin, to be the first and only man to claim me. I felt his tongue brush my neck, followed by the points of his teeth. He was going to do it, and I'd never wanted anything more than I wanted what he intended in that moment.
He jerked away from me with a gasp, seconds before his teeth would have pierced my skin. Falling to his knees, he started babbling incomprehensibly, and I could only stare at him. When the haze of lust lifted from my mind, I dropped down beside him in the limited room of the closet, pulling his chin up so his eyes met mine. He didn't resist and I could see the shame in his broken, tear-filled eyes.
"Draco?" I whispered.
"I'm so, so, so sorry. Please know that I never meant for this to happen. I couldn't control it. I couldn't stop. Why didn't you stop me?" He ended with a shout. I was frozen for a split second before what he said processed completely.
"What do you mean 'Why didn't you stop me?' Isn't that answer obvious?" He looked at me blankly, waiting for the explanation I was obviously going to give. I still felt impossibly powerful.
"I didn't want you to stop," I said simply. He looked at me as if I had two heads and a tail.
"Were your eyes open?" He asked brokenly. "I'm not human anymore. Plus you don't even like me," He stated trying to control his emotions and the glowing shade of silver his eyes seemed to have adopted.
"You're a vampire, or some version of one," I said with little emotion. "I'm oddly not as bothered by it as you'd think," I thought about the comfort of finally understanding what was happening and the vampire fantasies I'd had earlier in my teenage years. He was looking at me like I was crazy again.
"Have you lost your bloody mind? I could have just killed you with you being a willing participant in your own death!" He nearly yelled. I quickly cast a silencing spell, hoping no one had heard anything yet. We were silent for a few minutes before I spoke again.
"Do you feel it?" I asked him quietly.
"Feel what?" He replied just as quietly.
"The power. When we're in contact," I clarified.
"Yes," he said curiously. "You feel it?" he asked with a terrified expression on his face.
"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't," I said sarcastically.
"Fuck," he said as he buried his face in his hands and started nervously shaking his foot.
"What? Tell me," I demanded, wondering if he understood that to mean the same thing I did.
"It's too late."
"Too late for what?" I demanded again, needing to know if I was right. He seemed like he was talking to himself.
"How could this have happened? Why did this happen? Fucking Voldemort, ruining everything, even from the grave. I can't do it. I can't!" He muttered quietly to himself. I felt myself panic at the distance that was being created between us. He was going into his own little world of panic and misery, and I wouldn't allow it, especially without any answers. I smacked him right across the face, almost smiling at the memory of the last time I hit him. His eyes met mine instantly, showing only surprise.
"Tell me what you're talking about," I whispered as my eyes promised all sorts of torture should he refuse to answer me. He swallowed audibly before answering.
"This…this thing between us. It's not going to go away. It's going to get stronger, and stronger, until I can't pull away, until my consciousness is subdued by my instincts. I will bite you. I can't stop it," he whispered sounding hopeless as tears started pouring down his face. I felt for him, I really did. He was suffering, and I didn't want him to ashamed for what he was, especially if he had no control over it. I knew I should have been worried, but I really couldn't bring myself to care about what the bite meant, or the consequences that followed it. We might not have been friends or even acquaintances, but I wanted him. My body, my mind, and my magic called to him.
"Please kill me before I can hurt you or anyone else," he choked out. Astonished, I forced him to meet my eyes again.
"Absolutely not. Pull yourself together. What about what I think? If I'm directly involved, don't I have a say?" I hissed. He looked at me with pure confusion, as if he knew I could never accept what he'd become or what his instincts were going to make him do to me. "How, exactly, did this happen?" I asked, the harshness fading from my tone. He sighed.
"It was after I failed to kill Dumbledore. Voldemort wanted to spite my father, to end the purity of our bloodline for my failure and for the times my father had failed him. He locked me in a room with four vampires, telling them to prevent one another from killing me, lest he kill them all. He made them turn me because I couldn't become a murderer," he sobbed. I reached forward and brushed away his tears, ignoring my own that had formed and his reluctance at allowing himself to be comforted.
"Look at me," I whispered. His eyes slowly rose to meet mine. "I don't blame you, and I will not condemn you to die, alone and suffering from something that was no fault of your own. I know what a vampire bite means, what it entails. I probably know more about it than you do, if you state of desperation is any indication. It's not like the stories told to children. If you bite me, you will turn me, but by biting me you will gain the ability to age normally. You will keep the heightened senses and even the bloodlust to a degree, and those things will be passed on to me, along with the ability to age. The only way for a vampire to escape immortality and live their life fully is to find their…find their…" I struggled to finish the sentence.
"Mate. Their one mate," he finished, eyes moving back to the floor.
"Yes. Their mate," I whispered. Despite the consequences, my decision was already made. He was the only one who required any convincing. He was silent.
"Draco?" I asked to get his attention. He glanced back up at me as I pulled my hair away from my neck. "Don't lose yourself to it. Don't suffer for refusing your instincts. Bite me, it's okay," I assured him as he gazed longingly at my neck. It seemed to make him even more ashamed of himself.
"I can't!" He insisted. "I can't make you spend your life with someone like me. You hate me, I'm a vampire, and you want Weasley. I admit, I've admired you from afar since third year when you struck me, but there's nothing that I can offer you that he can't other than wealth, which I know is of very little importance to you. He's safe, and you love him," he insisted once more, bordering on hysterics as what sounded like years worth of insecurities poured out. I tried my hardest not to laugh, but I couldn't help myself.
"Draco, first of all, you're not making me do anything. I volunteered. If I hated you, I wouldn't have done so. I clearly don't mind that you're a vampire. As long as I'm turned by my…by my mate, I'll basically live a normal life, with the exception of heightened senses, a little bloodlust, and some fangs when I need to feed. Plus, I can help you live a normal life. You don't have to suffer. Also, I don't love Ron. I mean I do, but only platonically. Sure he's safe, but I've got no feelings for him. Plus, I've admired you from afar since I struck you in third year," I said with a Cheshire grin mimicking his tone for that last bit, glad he couldn't see my blush with the room's sad lighting. I wasn't even ready to admit that last portion to myself yet, and it had been a few years, but damn it if I didn't tell him. I could see the spark of hope in his eyes as I moved my hair away from my neck once more. He caught a stray lock and inspected it for a moment.
"You do realize this is because of the connection, right? The slight changes in your appearance."
"Yes, I do now, but quit delaying," I whispered.
"You're sure?" He asked hesitantly.
"Absolutely."
"You realize that there's no going back? You will be stuck with me for the entirety of our lives and in every life we live after this one for eternity."
"Yes, I do. Do it, Draco," I encouraged gently. He still looked hesitant. I needed to take matters into my own hands. Before he realized what was going on, I was straddling his lap and my lips were crushed against his. I bit his lip with some force, drawing blood, and he moaned. Things quickly got heated, and clothes were shed in the blink of an eye. I could feel his arousal again, and I knew his bloodlust was running high. I wanted him and the only things that stood between us were our under-things.
"Bite me," I purred as I ran my lips across his jaw. His lips slid down to my neck at the same time his hand slid down my stomach. He touched me hesitantly, gaining confidence as I voiced my approval. He used his fingers to bring me to the edge, and slowed down. He nuzzled my cheek at my grumble of disappointment. He breathed against my neck gently, as he sped up once more. He ran his tongue across my jugular and I felt myself coming undone. I could see his fangs again as he brushed them where his tongue was only seconds before. I felt them sink violently into the skin of my neck, but I felt no pain, only pleasure, as I screamed out my release. I could feel him drinking from the wound as my breathing slowed and I petted his hair. He stopped just as fast as he started and his eyes were the glowing silver tone once more. He ripped my knickers from my body at the same time as I spelled his boxers away.
"I need you," I whispered hoarsely, only knowing what I was asking for through secondary sources.
"I'm yours," he assured me as he flipped us over in the limited room of the closet. I lifted my hips to meet his but he pushed them back down as he shook his head at me. I could feel his dominance, and it only excited me more. He held my hands above my head as he sunk into me, eventually hitting my cervix. He stilled, allowing me to adjust to the intrusion, until I started squirming, insisting he move. He was shocked at my quick recover, but I assured him that I was in no pain. The bite had his venom pumping through my system and nothing negative could touch me. We moved in perfect sync, as if we were a single person rather than lovers loving for the first time. Faster than either of us could have predicted, we climaxed simultaneously and he buried his head into my neck. Once our breathing calmed I spoke again.
"We're mated," I whispered as I toyed with his hair. "And I'll be like you about this time tomorrow." I could feel his uneven breathing against my neck, and I knew he was sobbing again.
"I'm so sorry, Hermione. I never wanted this to happen to you. You deserve better. Please forgive me," he pleaded. I felt like I had known him forever.
"There's nothing to forgive," I insisted softly as I pulled his face to meet my own. "No regrets," I smiled at him.
"What did I do to deserve you?" He asked in true wonderment.
"It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do. All that matters is that we're happy, and that you pull yourself out of this funk. I won't be seen canoodling with a pansy who feels sorry for himself his whole life," I whispered good naturedly as I met his eyes once more. He buried his face back into my neck.
"I love you, Hermione. I always have," he admitted, his words muffled into my neck, but still spoken clearly enough to hear.
"And I you. Always," I replied, feeling my heart burst with the joy of a requited and everlasting love. My heart knew that we were meant to be, and I guessed that this wasn't the first time my soul had been bound to a boy with hypnotic grey eyes and hair the color of corn silk.
A/N: If you know me in real life, you're better off just not asking.
Please leave your questions/comments in a review. Thank you!
