Messing Around With Lockheart

All the teachers were gathered in the staff room waiting for the classes to begin. Flitwick and Sprout were doing some last minute preparations for their classes today; Hooch was looking at some Quidditch magazine; Snape was sitting at his corner flipping through a potions magazine and McGonagall was sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper.

Suddenly the silence was broke when the door opened. All of them looked up from what they were doing to see Lockheart with a woman's bag in hand.

"Hello, people." He said cheerfully and then sat at the sofa next to McGonagall. All of the teachers stared at him but none of them dared to ask him about the woman's bag. They all looked at each other and McGonagall was the one who took the risk to ask.

"Why in the name of Merlin are you with this bag?" she asked him.

"It's pretty good and comfortable. Check this out," Lockheart opened his bag," there are compartments for everything; my wallet, my wand, my comb, my picture…"

"Your make up…" McGonagall interrupted him. The other teachers giggled quietly.

"Exactly." He said, his voice sounding really excited. McGonagall on the other hand raised her eyebrows.

"Mmm Lockheart, that's a women's bag," Said Snape.

"Really? It's strange how good it looks on me, a man," replied Lockheart, looking at the bag.

"Then it's unisex!" said Snape.

"No, you need sex. I had sex a couple of days ago," Lockheart grinned like an idiot. However, if looks could kill, he would be dead right now. Snape had sent him such a death look that could kill anything that could breathe.

"No, she meant U – N – I sex." McGonagall told him.

"Well, Minerva, how can I say no to that?" replied Lockheart, sitting a lot more closely to McGonagall. "I didn't know you liked me that way."

"I do not like you at all," replied McGonagall, sending glare his way, which he didn't notice.

"Yours or my room?" Lockheart raised his eyebrows in a suggestive way.

"Lockheart, why don't you go and show your 'men's' bag to the students? I'm sure they'll appreciate some good advice on fashion." Snape literally kicked him out of the staff room.

"Oh, Severus, I didn't know you liked Minerva that way. You should have said something and I would have left her to you." Lockheart winked at Snape.

"Okay," said Snape, on the edge of killing him, and closed the door in his face. Everyone burst out laughing. Lockheart really did think a lot of himself.

After everyone had calmed down, they all walked out of the staff room, Only Snape and McGonagall stayed because neither of them had classes today and had nothing else to do.

"I really do need sex," said Snape after several minutes of silence. McGonagall just starred at him for a moment.

"Your room or mine?" she asked smirking. It was his turn to stare at her.

"Yours, it's warmer than mine."

"That was so unslytherin of you." McGonagall teased him.

"Minerva…" Snape warned her.

"Lets go."

The End

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