Disclaimer: I lay no claim to any person, place or thing that you may recognize. This is merely a work of fanfiction.
Notes: As it is Lita's birthday I wanted to attempt something and this is the result... so far. I'm unsure if I'll have anything else ready by the end of the day but eh, this works.
~*~
Someone was going to die, plain and simple. Or at the very least, they were going to suffer in some form or another, Lita would make sure of it.
For one, they were intruding on her home, even though the former WWE diva was fairly certain that they were friends; that didn't excuse the fact that they were intruding uninvited.
Secondly, as one green eye glared at the digital alarm clock on that side of the bed, it was far too early to deal with anyone else. Hazel eyes shut tightly, hands grasping the sheets as she contemplated the many ways to kill or maim her friends.
Thirdly, while she most certainly did understand why they would be there, this time was precious. Especially with Smackdown taping in Knoxville. Even with their plans for later in the week, he still had to leave at some point today and Lita wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.
Unfortunately for the sleeping pair, the pounding on the front door had yet to cease, Lita feared that they would attempt to break down the sliding glass doors on the back porch or break a window. Sighing, she grabbed the nearest t-shirt and shorts, not caring at that point if they were her pajama bottoms or his boxers. This noise had to stop.
Running a hand through her disheveled hair, Lita waited for a pause in the rhythmic (persistent and annoying) knocking. And once she found that pause, the former diva proceeded to unlock the door, propping it open enough so she could see out.
"Do you even realize what time it is?"
Jeff Hardy smiled sheepishly, "happy birthday."
Lita narrowed her eyes, "Jeff... it's early in the morning, too early. We're trying to sleep and you clowns are trying to wake up the damn neighborhood."
Chris Jericho arched an eyebrow, "Leets … it's 10:30."
"I'm well aware of the time, Jerky, but did it maybe ever occur to you that we didn't get to sleep until sometime in the early hours of the morning?"
Blue eyes sparked in amusement, "but you two left the arena around the same time that I did."
"Yes, and? Just because we left around the same time doesn't necessarily mean that we wanted to get back here just to sleep."
Jeff shuddered, "way too much information."
Lita snorted, "enough that you'll go away and leave us alone?"
The blond held up a bag, "but what about your gifts?"
Jeff held out the covered item, "and your cake … I worked hard on this, damn it."
Pinching the bridge of her nose, Lita stepped back, the door opening enough to allow the two men entrance. "Leave the cake in the kitchen and the bag at the bottom of the stairs. I already know one of you... or one of the girls or maybe even Christian has something planned."
"Of course," Jeff confirmed, "multiple things planned but since we're obviously unwanted at this 'early' hour." He set the cake down on the counter, "we'll be back later."
"You're coming to Smackdown to hang out then?" Chris questioned the former diva, the bag of presents set where she had indicated. "I mean, I know you were just at RAW last night, but you were kind of monopolized then."
Lita rolled her eyes, straightening out her borrowed t-shirt, "and for good reason. Sure we make plans to see each other but it doesn't always work out. With RAW being in the area, we wanted to make sure that we'd have as much time as possible with each other."
Jeff nudged her hip, "... you could always come back. Not as a wrestler but maybe as the new assistant GM for Smackdown?"
The former diva smiled wryly, "right because I want to have that kind of responsibility over a pack of wild hyenas like you."
Jericho sent her a mock wounded look, "you can't possibly mean me..."
Lita opened her mouth to reply, but shut it quickly at the sound of footsteps heading downstairs. And once he appeared in the kitchen, all but ignoring his two co-workers, he tugged insistently on her hand. "The bed is getting cold."
The blond man arched an eyebrow, "did you sleep in your wrestling gear or something?"
"No," Punk gestured to the former diva, "she stole my boxers."
"Borrowed," Lita corrected as she leaned back against her boyfriend, her hands resting over the ones that caressed her hips. "And I wouldn't have to borrow them if I could figure out where someone threw my panties and my pajama bottoms last night. Besides, if you had just bothered to check the top right drawer, you would have found more of your boxers."
The look that Jeff and Chris exchanged was halfway between amused and disturbed, more amused though it seemed. The younger of the two men clearing his throat, "well I guess we'll just leave you two to your 'nap'. And then we'll be around later to kidnap you for Smackdown?"
Punk planted a kiss on Lita's neck, "is your memory really that bad? She's coming with me." A smirk against her skin, "both now and later." Another pause, "and to Smackdown, of course."
Chris shook his head, "well … I suppose we should leave now. One accident over the weekend aside, I really don't need a repeat."
"That was your own damn fault," Lita reminded the blond man, "we told you that our hotel rooms connected, time and again."
Punk nodded slightly, his chin nestled comfortably on his girlfriends shoulder. "And it's not like we were that naked."
"Speak for yourself."
Jeff clamped a hand over Chris' mouth before the blond man could say another word. "Anyway, we'll likely be back around later with 'Ria and Mickie. Maybe a late lunch before we all head up to Knoxville?"
"Sure, sure..." Lita agreed with a half hearted nod, "whatever you say."
"In that case, young Jeffrey and myself will take our leave now." Chris touched his hand to his forehead as a gesture of farewell, the blond man thoroughly convinced that Lita wasn't capable of replying verbally. And it was quite obvious that Punk wasn't either and wouldn't be unless he detached his mouth from the pulse point on Lita's throat. As such, when Lita and Punk half walked and half stumbled up the stairs; Chris and Jeff showed themselves out the two men then swiftly advising the next set of visitors to save their visit until later … John and Randy exchanging confused looks before they shrugged and took the advice.
