Hiiiiii everyone! Back for my second Big Bang story :D

This idea has been knocking around in my docs for almost a year now, but was originally for a Loki cosplayer to move into the building. Changed it when playing Arkham City and my love for Harley Quinn was reignited and I was working on Slow Burn (editing) so she just flowed right into the category.

Chapters will most definitely be longer than when I was working on Slow Burn and I cringe when I go and read that so I'm going through editing like I said. Waiting for my confirmation on AO3 to migrate my silly ass over there - not completely, though, so no one freak out.

Alright, done with the Authors Note. If anyone has any questions, just ask in a PM or in a review, but really a few things are explained as we go.


"Harley Quinn is fixing the elevator."

Not something you hear everyday, so Leonard plays along with it. Brow furrows, fingers still over his keyboard and he looks over at Sheldon. He's standing in the doorway, bag of comics in hand and he looks pretty skeptical of the whole ordeal himself; of course, Leonard is pretty sure, if he's telling the truth, he'd be skeptical of what he really saw himself.

"What," very intelligent question, Leonard.

Sheldon rolls his eyes at Leonard - who is sure to receive a scolding at his 'supposed intelligence' - and shrugs out of his bag, sets it with the comics beside the door.

"Harley Quinn is helping the workers fix the elevator downstairs," Sheldon says firmly, giving Leonard that look that guarantees a firm talking to later.

"Sheldon, I'm pretty sure its just someone cosplaying. If Harley Quinn were real, do you seriously think she'd be helping strangers fix an elevator?"

Sheldon opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly cut off by this shrill, annoying cackle from outside the door. Leonard gained a look of bewilderment and shut his laptop, Sheldon opening the door to reveal Penny being tackled by a blur of red, white and black - oh, and blonde. Platinum blonde hair tied up into frilly curls with red on one side and black on the other. She had Penny on the floor and was leaving streaks of red lipstick all over Penny's face, who didn't seem to be mad in the slightest but was instead hugging her back with equal force.

Sheldon looked over at Leonard and pointed down at the two women. "I told you, Harley Quinn," he said smugly, crossing his arms over his chest.

The woman perked up and looked back at the two, making Leonard uneasy with such alien green eyes; like two pools of nuclear waste. Her ruby lips spread up into another unsettling feature - pearly white teeth. The grin was twisty and too pretty, even for someone that was so pretty. She hopped up with little struggle, helping Penny to her feet while the waitress finally whined and tried to scrub off some of the makeup with her apron.

"Harley - seriously, its not coming off!"

The woman waved a gloved hand, all while keeping quizzical eyes on Leonard and Sheldon. "Baby oil, Penny," she chirped, voice still an annoying pitch. "Who are these handsome fellows?"

Handsome fellows?

Maybe this really was Harley Quinn. Hadn't Penny just called her Harley? Leonard prayed her last name really was Quinn, he could probably die in peace knowing this was a real human being. But why was she dressed like that and not at a convention? Leonard was sure he didn't know of her living in the building, he definitely wouldn't have been able to forget about this type of person living around them.

Penny looked up and smiled, almost sheepishly, at the boys. "Leonard," cue a wave. "And Sheldon," who just stared at Harley. "Guys, this is Harley - and not Quinn."

"Aw," they said in unison.

They both flinched at the sound of her high pitched cackle - she didn't seem capable of a plain laugh - while Penny seemed quite used to it. "You can call me Quinn if you want to," she winked, cocked her hip. "I don't mind one bit."

Leonard let out a hysterical, nervous bubble of laughter. "Okay," he was just full of smooth lines today, wasn't he? "What - uh - what. . .why?"

She chuckled as Penny unlocked her door, leaving it open and leaving them alone with her. "The costume? Oh, I was at a small party a couple of blocks over," she pouted. "Lost my Joker to some slutty fem Doc Oc," she crossed her arms over her chest. "Whatever, he wasn't even that good, anyway."

"Is your name really Harley," Sheldon finally spoke up; he hadn't taken his eyes off of her yet.

She beamed up at him - she was just a tad shorter than Leonard - and nodded fiercely, hair flying. "Funny, huh," she snickered. "But the last name is Stabler, unfortunately," she sighed dreamily.

"Hey, Harley," she whipped back to Penny, who had changed and looked very much worn from the day. "Wanna crash here tonight?"

"Yes!," she basically screamed and then smiled at the boys. "Guess I'll see you two in the morning."

Leonard stuttered as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek, thoroughly doing the same to Sheldon, who stiffened at the touch. She wagged her fingers at him and slipped into Penny's apartment, but they were drill able to hear her shrill little voice through the door, as though she were still there.

Leonard and Sheldon stood there for a moment longer, hearing the woman's unmistakable voice cussing at someone named Jeremy, Penny's laugh. Leonard swallowed slowly and then abruptly turned into the apartment.

"I feel woozy after that encounter," Sheldon murmured as he shut the apartment door behind him. "Is that natural?"

Leonard shook his head then shrugged as he leaned onto the counter. "I guess Harley Quinn does that to ya. . .'


"You might have broken one of them."

Harley chuckled as she stretched her right leg out, heel digging into the edge of Penny's coffee table as she slowly unzipped the red boot hugging her calf. She'd gone over the top for this one with a full face a of paint and makeup, the hair dye and the costume she'd put together herself.

And that asshole hadn't even noticed.

She let him do that to her, and he was going to leave her in public like that? She was glad she had made a scene, it may have been embarrassing for her but ah she did feel a lot better.

"Doesn't take much then," she hummed.

Penny shook her head, pulling the lid off of her ice cream. "Must be weird being a sociopath," and that's exactly what Harley was.

The woman shrugged, tugging her hair from the tight bands; she sighed and ran her fingers through a few knots. "Its quite a roller coaster," that pulled out another cackle. "But enough about me - that's Leonard? I expected. . .I don't know what I expected."

Penny nodded as she began to flip through the channels. "That's what everyone else says," she shrugged. "Leonard isn't my usual type but he's sweet and normal. . .not some asshole."

"And Sheldon?"

Penny looked over at Harley, who was steadily wiping away her face paint with one of Penny's towels; there was no point in snapping at for using it, Harley would just blow up and that wasn't something Penny wanted. She could be pretty terrifying when she was leveled, pissing her off would turn her into a plain monster. Of course, Penny had never tangled with Harley, she'd just witnessed her snap on a frequent basis; shame such intelligence was wrapped up in such unpredictability.

But that didn't mean she would just let her do what she was thinking of right now.

"Don't, Harley," Penny said in a warning tone.

Harley gave her an innocent look, cocking her head. "What?"

Penny sighed and set her ice cream down. "I know what you're thinking," she shook her head. "And don't think of it."

Harley shook her head, making a face that said ridiculous. To Harley, she supposed it was ridiculous; she'd never understood that Penny knew her too well now, that she could see what Harley wanted to do and would do before she did it.

Harley was no longer an enigma to Penny.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't give me that, Harley. I know what you did to Kenny," her green eyes flashed at Penny. "And don't touch him, okay?"

Harley rolled her tongue from cheek to cheek, watching Penny until she decides to return her attention to the television, ice cream at the ready. Harley huffed indignantly and stood, towel gripped tightly in her hand as she strode off into the bathroom.

"Whatever," she snapped, before slamming the door behind her