Yes, I changed the conversation that is quoted in the beginning. But other than that, it doesn't contradict canon at all. Please review!

No, no we couldn't! Not if we want to keep our souls. We aren't judges, we're cops!"

"But we are judges! Every time we pull that trigger, we are the judge between life and death! Every time! We are the judges of the law, the ones who decide to obey it or not! We are the judges, Ed, whether you like it or not!"

His words ring in my head as my son passes me by, as my legs bail out on me and my hands start shaking like I wish they would have when I took that shot. I killed a kid today, a strong, brave girl who was only a year older than my son.

I killed her, without hesitation - because to hesitate is to doubt, and to allow doubt is to destroy myself from the inside out.

I shot her for me, mostly. I shot her because I have to keep believing that the law is good, and right - heck, I'm giving my life for it! It had damn well better be right! And tonight my heart knows it wasn't, but my brain says I followed protocol and that was the only option for me, really.

For all my previous choices, taking that shot was the only option tonight.

But the logic of protocol doesn't stop my hands from shaking, and it doesn't stop the noise in my head, the wrenching screams of a mother and a...and a...ah, the contempt of a defeated man.

I wonder vaguely what sort of man I am, to have let him walk off that roof alive.

I told myself once, that if I was ashamed to look my kids in the eye at the breakfast table, then the job was over. That time has come, but the good man I was then has died enough that I know I will not be quitting this job any time soon.

Tonight I lost my soul, and nothing will bring it back, just like nothing will ever bring her back. So why quit? It accomplishes nothing. Exactly nothing. This is what my world has come to, and all I have left is one phrase running through my mind on repeat - "I want to hold you to that. I want to hold you to that."

It's over. And god, how we failed her.