Title: Just Can't Live a Lie

Category: Romance/drama

Chapter: 1

Name of Chapter: Someone's Missing

By: Der4Mer4ever

MerDer story


Chief, finally he was chief, chief of surgery, Derek Shepherd. He was proud. He'd made it, made it to the top. But one thing was still missing. He knew what it was, he knew it very well. He should be happy, now as he had reach his goal. But he wasn't, and hadn't been in a long while. For a small person to be, she could fill a big part of his heart. Her smile made him smile even when he had a bad day. Her hair always smelled so good and…"Chief, we need you down stairs." He looked confused up from the table he had stared at for a long while now. "On my way," he said and where already on his way out of the door and on his way down to the first floor. He wasn't used to be called chief. Richard Webber had always been the chief at Seattle Grace as long as Derek could remember. Now he had moved to Europe with his wife leaving Derek again in Seattle with the hospital. Derek took a deep breath before opening the door to the Emergency.

There where people everywhere, screaming, crying.

"Can someone tell me what the hell happened?" Derek said with a loud voice. A nurse came headed to him.

"Chief, there has been an accident at Mercy West and all the emergency patients have been transferred to Seattle Grace..."

Before she could finish Derek interrupted her. "WHAT? How the hell does the chief of Mercy West think that we can to the job without more nurses, and doctors?" He was frustrated and angry.

"Chief, Mercy West has sent residents and nurses to Seattle Grace, and they are here any minute." Derek took a deep breath again before he nodded. "Fine, tell them to hurry up, we have a lot to do here." Derek hurried up to Burke who was on his way with a bleeding patient. "Burke, I need an update."

Burke looked up. "Okay, the two patients over there needs surgery, and the rest need to be stitched up, three people with safe head injuries, one needs brain surgery, one needs a consult, and one is code blue already taken care of." Burke pushed his glasses on spot before Derek continued. "Alright, Burke to OR 1 with Dr. Stevens. Karev takes the suturing. O'Malley takes the consult, and Yang you come with me. You're scrubbing in at the brain surgery." In a hurry the doctors were on their way. "Dr Shepherd which OR?"

Derek looked at his pager. "OR 2, Dr. Yang. Get ready to scrub in along with an intern from Mercy West; I'll be back in a minute." Cristina nodded. "Got it."

Derek ran down the hall to the nurse station, to guide the doctors who had come from Mercy West. "Okay, Dr. Chang to OR 1 with Dr. Burke. Dr. Hemmer, to the EM. Dr…" Derek got speechless. There in front of him, she stood. Meredith, Meredith Grey. She had transferred to Mercy West just a couple of month earlier.

She had told him she needed some space, to clear her head, and now she was back at Seattle Grace. "Umm, Dr.Grey you're with me at OR 2." She stared at him for a moment, not sure what to say. "Oh, okay Dr. Shepherd. Got it."

Derek watched her leaving before turning to the rest of the group. "Okay the rest of interns and doctors goes to see where they might need someone. Nurses, Fallon to room 2435, Hayes room 4137, Darren, 1236, Dubbin 5238. Alright, move people." Derek headed to OR 2, getting ready to pull out a blood plug in a man's right part of brain. This was one of the very busy days at Seattle Grace not to dimension the patients from Mercy West.


The surgery was over, the patient had died. Derek could still hear it.

"Dr. Grey, call it please." She had looked at him. "Time of death; 11.53." He knew she hated to call, but she had done it anyway. Now he sat at his office, the chief office. He couldn't read her. Meredith had nodded to him a couple of times, but that was it. The people from Mercy West were supposed to leave in 15 minutes, and that meant that Meredith would leave too. Suddenly someone knocked on the door.

"Come in," Derek answered. Slowly the door went up, and his eyes met Meredith's. "Hi, can I speak with you for a moment?" He nodded as she went further into the room. "Sit down." She did as he said, and took a seat.

"Okay."

She took a deep breath before she started.

"I have thought about this in a long time now. About us." Derek felt nervous, thinking about what she would say next. "And I'm done Derek, I can't take it more. I can't stay away from you, but I can't face you either." They were both silent for a second, before Derek spoke.

"You remember the day we went to the sea? When you had a red top on, and we sat around the fire until the sun where down? That evening I knew. I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted you, Meredith." It went awkward silent. Derek looked at her. She didn't seem to be sad, or happy, nothing.

"Derek. I, I have to go now. I and the other nurses and doctors are going back to Mercy West in 7 minutes. I can't be late. I have to go." She stood up and walked toward the door. Her feelings were just a mess. She wanted Derek, but she couldn't go back to him. She wasn't ready, and she didn't know if she would ever be ready. "Mer, wait. What will happen, to us? Will I see you again soon?" He also stood now.

"Maybe Derek, maybe," was all she could say.

Outside Seattle Grace there were taxies waiting for them. All the other doctors had taken a seat in deferent's taxies, and she was on her way to on of them before she suddenly changed her mind. She didn't want to go back to Mercy West. Not at all. She liked Seattle Grace, she liked Seattle. She knew there was another reason too. She knew it, but she didn't like the feeling inside her. She hated telling her selves that she was in love. In love with him. If she could just stop loving him everything would be much easier. But she couldn't. She was trapped in him.

She just stood there watching the taxies drive away. She wanted to go away from him, but she didn't do it anyway. Why, she told her selves over and over. Why can't I just drive away from him? To another city? Why? She knew the answer but she didn't want to face it. I can't love him, I just can't!

Derek still satin his office. He was thinking about her, all the time. Since she had left him first time, and now again and she never said anything about their relation ship. If she would ever return to him, or if she didn't wanted to be with him.

He didn't know why she didn't want to stay with him. Did she have another boyfriend? As fast as he had thought about the last sentence, he pulled it away. She didn't have another boyfriend. He knew it. If she did he would have seen it in her eyes. Guilt, sadness or happiness. But her eyes had been all empty.

He shook his head as he went out of his office, the chief of surgery's office.

Dr. Shepherd the brilliant Nero surgeon was happy about being chief, but Derek wasn't. In the past Derek and Dr. Shepherd had become to different persons, with to different goals and to different ways of thinking. It was frustrating. Derek walked over the "bridge" at the second floor of the hospital,and then he saw her.

She just stood there with her back toward the hospital, so Derek couldn't see her face. Several of questions were running trough his head. Why was she still there? Had she missed the taxi? But why hadn't she called after another one? Suddenly she falled to the ground, and Derek could see blood streaming from her left arm!

Will continue!


I'm sorry for the waiting, but the second chapter will be up soon: )

PLEASE, if you have ideas or something you wanna say about my story, please REVIEW: )