Disclaimer- I don't own General Hospital or any of the characters.

Sonny saw Brenda standing on the docks. He always imagined what would happen if Brenda was alive and if she did come back. But it was never that he'd already be married and not be able to be with her. He still loved her, more than anything. But now he had Carly to think about. He couldn't just leave Carly and hope that he and Brenda would be able to fix what they had. Sonny knew that he couldn't have Brenda back. Things were different now. He was married and she was engaged to Jax. All he had to do was let Brenda go. He'd never be able to forget what they once had, but he could let her go. He could let her live her own life and hope that she's happy. Sonny walked over to where Brenda was. He looked into her eyes and could see that for the first time in a while she was happy, even though he always wanted to be the one who made her happy. He was just glad that she was able to move on and that she understood he couldn't leave Carly to be with her, but he didn't have to except it.

"Hey Sonny. How long have you been there?" Brenda asked. She sighed softly and sat down on the bench. Sonny sat down next to her. He was happy that they could still talk. She knew Carly didn't like that her and Sonny were still friends. She knew that Carly was afraid that Sonny would leave her. But Carly didn't have to worry. She wasn't trying to get Sonny back. She had moved on with Jax, just like Sonny has moved on with Carly.

"Not that long. I was just on my way home. How've you been?" Sonny asked softly. He just hoped that she was happy with Jax and that she would be okay. He knew that it was hard when she first came back and found out that he had married Carly, but he thought she was dead. If he had known that she was still alive, he never would have married Carly. He would have fought for Brenda and begged her to come back. Deep down, he knew Carly knew that. He could see the hurt and the jealousy in Carly's eyes every time he mentioned Brenda. But what could he do. He still wanted Brenda in his life, even though all they could be was friends. He'd just have to take that.

"What are you doing here? You look like you're upset or something," Sonny observed. He hoped it had to do with Jax. He didn't want Brenda with Jax. She deserved so much better. Sure Jax had money and treated her good, but he always seemed to hurt Brenda. It's not like he should be one to talk, he's hurt Brenda many times. Like with Lily and then being married to Carly. He just wanted to see Brenda happy.

"Nothing's wrong. Skye just won't stop this whole war she's decided to start with me. She keeps saying that I was the one who broke her and Jax up. But Jax says there marriage was over even before I came into the picture. He said it was because of her drinking and that he was tired of her always being drunk. I mean, I don't know. Maybe I was the cause of their marriage failing," Brenda replied. Everyone liked to tell Brenda that Jax and Skye were happy until she came back. She just didn't know what to believe. Jax was telling her one thing, while everyone else was telling her another.

"I don't think it was you who broke up Jax and Skye's marriage. They were always fighting even before you came back. It didn't really seem like Skye was there for him. I may not like Jax, but every guy wants a woman who will be there for them," Sonny reassured Brenda. He didn't like Brenda blaming herself for other people's problems. It's not like Brenda came back to break up anyone's marriage. At first he thought that she was going to break up him and Carly's marriage, but she told him that she saw how happy she was and that she couldn't ruin that for him. Brenda wasn't as bad as everyone made her out to be. He hated how everyone tried to put her down and blame her for things that aren't even her fault.

"I never thought that things would be this different when I came back you know. I knew that you and Jax would have moved on. I just never thought that you would marry someone else when you wouldn't even marry me. What we had was so strong and you left me at the alter. But I came back and you weren't only moved on, but you were married. At first I was angry. All I could think about was what was so wrong with me that you left me but could marry Carly. But then I saw how happy you were and I understood. I never made you happy. I was so needy and I was so immature back then. I always seemed to do something wrong," Brenda said quietly. She never told Sonny this before. She wondered why she was telling him now. It's not like this would change anything. Sonny was still married and she was still engaged. This was something she told herself that she would never tell Sonny, and now here she was telling him. She hoped that Sonny wouldn't be mad at her. But if they were going to do the friendship thing, then she would have to be honest with him.

"Brenda, the only reason I married Carly was because I thought you were dead. If I had known that you would come back to me, I wouldn't have gotten married and I would have fought to get you back. I loved you so much. I didn't leave you at the alter because there was something wrong with you. I was trying to protect you. I didn't want you to get hurt. I wanted to make sure that you were safe," Sonny explained. He wiped away the tears that were falling down Brenda's face. He hated seeing her so upset and right now it was his fault. He thought she was over him leaving her at the alter. He never meant to hurt her and he thought that she understood that. But he was wrong. Brenda was stubborn and hard headed. It took a while for things to sink in with her. That was one of the things he always loved about her. She was always so unpredictable and she always stuck to her opinion. When Brenda had her mind set to something, there was no stopping her.

"I know that now Sonny, but it still hurts sometimes you know. I think about what we used to have and then I see you so happy with Carly. It just hurts sometimes that you could give up our history like it meant nothing to you," Brenda explained. She didn't know why this was all coming out, but she was glad that it was. Sonny had to hear this. He had to know what she felt when she had come back. She didn't feel like this now. Not as much as she had when she first came back. Now she understood what was wrong with her and why her and Sonny couldn't work. But sometimes, it did hurt. That he could be happy with someone else when she had given him everything.

"I know it does. Sometimes it hurts seeing you with Jax. But we've both moved on Brenda, at least I have, I thought you did to," Sonny said. He didn't like that this was all coming out. It was bringing back things he didn't want to think about or remember anymore. He wasn't ready for this. He didn't think he ever would be. Why was Brenda bringing all of this up? What did she want from him? He couldn't do anything to change the past and neither could she.

"I did move on Sonny. I just figured that if we were going to do the friendship thing that I needed to be honest with you. I don't feel like this anymore," Brenda answered. She looked into Sonny's eyes. He looked so frustrated. She couldn't blame him. She was bringing up things she knew that he didn't think about anymore. They needed to be brought up though. She needed to get all of this out in the open. She couldn't keep this all bottled up anymore.

"Look Brenda, I don't have time for this right now. I have a family I need to get home to. Maybe we can talk about this later, but I can't deal with this right now," Sonny said. He knew he was running away from this, but he knew if they got far enough into this that he wouldn't be able to move on and he wouldn't be able to let her marry Jax.

"You mean you can't deal with me right now," Brenda yelled after him. She watched him stop and look at her. She knew she wasn't going to like his response.

"Brenda, you're acting like a child right now. I said I don't have time to talk about this right now. I'm married. I have responsibilities to my family, not you okay. I said I wanted us to be friends because I don't want you out of my life, but I can't keep reminiscing in the past. It's not going to do any of us any good," Sonny replied. He felt so bad for acting this way, but he just needed to get out of here and get away from Brenda.

"Go ahead and run away from this Sonny, but if you can't even get over the past, then I don't know how we can be friends. You never did forgive me for the wire, and you never will. I know that I was wrong for doing that, but that doesn't even matter to you. Until you get past what happened we can't be friends," Brenda retorted. She couldn't believe that she had just said that, but it was true. She knew it was.

"Brenda, I don't have time for your little temper tantrum right now. If you don't us to be friends then fine, we won't. Don't pin this on me. You're the one who brought up the past, not me. I have to go," Sonny said. He looked at her one last time before walking away. He hated that she was right and he hated that he still loved her with every breath in him. It was probably a good thing that they not be friends anymore. He wouldn't be able to just stay friends for long. He couldn't do that to Carly. She didn't deserve that.

Brenda watched Sonny walk away. She knew that it was better for them not to be friends. She still couldn't stand to see Sonny with Carly, and she knew she'd end up messing that up for him. Just like she messed up Jax and Skye's relationship. She knew it was her fault. She was the one who came back and turned everyone's life upside down. How could things be so different? She knew that it's been four years since she's been back, but she never expected Jax and Sonny would be married and over her. Sure Jax had taken her back, but he lost something good in the process. He lost Skye. And if she stayed around too much longer, Sonny would probably lose Carly too. She could see it in Carly's eyes every time she saw her. Carly was scared that she would want Sonny back and that Sonny would want the same. Carly was half right. She did want Sonny back, but Sonny didn't want her back. How could things be this wrong? Alls he wanted was her old life back. The one where Sonny still loved her and wasn't married. The one where Sonny was willing to give her another chance and forgive her for everything she had done wrong. Now it seemed like Sonny was holding on to all the wrongs so he could forget about her and stay happy with Carly. Brenda looked at her watch. It was getting late. She knew that she should be getting home to Jax. He was probably worried about her.


Brenda woke up in bed alone. She saw that Jax wasn't there anymore. Brenda got out of bed and put on a robe. She went downstairs and saw Jax sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee. He looked like he was thinking about something. She wondered what he was thinking about. He seemed a little down right now. She just hoped that it didn't have to do with her. She was so tired of being blamed for everyone's life being so messed up. She knew some of it was her fault, but not everything was her fault.

"Morning," Brenda said and kissed Jax on the lips. She looked at him again. He didn't really budge. She got some coffee and sat down across from him.

"Jax, what's wrong?" Brenda asked. She saw him finally snap out of whatever thought was in his head. He seemed so distracted lately. It probably had to do with Skye. She knew that Skye kept on talking to Jax trying to get him back. But she knew that Jax wouldn't leave her. Jax always stayed with her, even when Miranda had come back. He still wanted to stay with her.

"I was just thinking about Skye. I think she's getting worse Brenda. She's drinking more than she used to. She was never this bad when we were married and I know that she really did love me. She always tried to be there for me, but I'm not there for her now. She needs me to be there for her Brenda. She used to be so full of life. She used to go out and have fun. I can't keep watching her go through this. She didn't do anything to deserve this. I do love you Brenda, but I love Skye too. I made promises to her. Then you came back," Jax said. He looked at Brenda. He'd always love Brenda, but Brenda didn't love him the way he deserved to be loved. Her heart still belonged to Sonny. He knew it always would. He saw Brenda and Sonny on the docks. Sonny may not admit it now, but he wants Brenda back.

"I never told you to leave Skye. I never asked you for anything Jax, so don't blame me for this one. You decided to leave Skye. You were the one who asked for me back and I said yes. You told me that you're marriage was over before I even came back," Brenda said defensively. How could Jax be doing this? He said he didn't love Skye anymore and now he was saying that he did love her. She just couldn't believe that this was happening.

"I'm not blaming you for this Brenda. I know you never asked me to leave her. But I know that you still love Sonny, more than you love me. I just can't deal with that. All I ever did was love you. I would always hope that I could be enough to make you forget Sonny, but I never was Brenda. I never will be enough for you," Jax answered. He looked at Brenda and he could tell that she understood. He just felt bad for doing this to her. He told her that he loved her and that he was over Skye and now he was telling her just the opposite. He had to do this though. He had to let Brenda go and move on. He couldn't keep going after her and hope that this time she would love him the way he deserved to be loved. He had to learn that Sonny was the only person for Brenda, no matter what Sonny did to her, she was too in love with him to let him go.

"It's okay Jax. I know that you and Skye had something good before I came back and messed it up. I hope things work out for you," Brenda said. She went upstairs and got dressed. She had to work on finding a place to stay. She grabbed her keys and went back downstairs.

"Where are you going to stay?" Jax asked. It took him a while to realize that Brenda didn't have a place to stay. He couldn't just kick her out on the streets.

"I don't know yet. I was going to go look for a place," Brenda replied. She looked at Jax and turned to leave. She had to learn to be on her own again. She was able to do it once before, but now she was so used to being with someone. She had to get past this. She knew it would take some time, but she had to move on and realize that everyone else has moved on.

Brenda sat on the bench at the docks with the newspaper in her hand. She wanted to find a place as soon as possible, but there weren't really that many places available here. She didn't want to burden Jax anymore. He needed to work on fixing things with Skye. If she stayed with him, she knew Skye wouldn't be up to giving Jax another chance. She'd be worried about Jax leaving her again, especially with her living with him still. Brenda looked up and saw Jason standing in front of her.


"Since when do you read the newspaper?" Jason asked sarcastically. He knew he should be nicer to Brenda, but all she's done is cause problems since she's been back. Carly was one of his best friends, and she was so worried that Sonny was going to leave her for Brenda. He hated seeing Carly like that. She's been through enough already. She didn't need Brenda messing things up for her.

"Since I don't have a place to stay and need to find one as soon as possible," Brenda replied. She knew that Jason didn't like her. He didn't keep it a secret. She went back to her newspaper.

"What happened to Jax. Did you finally decide to stop ruining his life?" Jason asked. He looked at Brenda and he could tell he crossed the line. He felt bad now. He was out of line and never should have said that.

"He decided that I won't be able to love him the way that I loved Sonny and that he was going to go back to Skye. Does that make you feel better. Or are you worried that I'm going to try and ruin Sonny's life now?" Brenda asked angrily. Jason had no right to be treating her this way. She hasn't even done anything to him. She's left him alone since she came back. She was trying her best to stay away from Jason.

"Brenda, I'm sorry. I crossed the line. I shouldn't have said that. I know it wasn't you're fault that Jax left Skye. He told me it was his decision and you told him not to leave Skye. I don't think you're a bad person. I really don't. I just don't want Carly to get hurt. She's been so worried that Sonny's going to leave her for you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I have no right to attack your personal life," Jason said. He really was sorry. Brenda hasn't done anything to him to deserve his attitude and she hasn't made any moves on Sonny. She told Sonny that she was happy that he had moved on that she couldn't ruin that for him. He shouldn't be acting this way towards her.

"It's fine Jason. I know that you and Carly are close, but I'm over Sonny. I'm not going to try and break them up. I see how happy he is and I can't take that away from him. He deserves to be happy," Brenda answered. It was true. She didn't want to take away Sonny's happiness. After alls he's put him through, he deserves to be happy.

"Well I know a place you can stay," Jason said softly. He couldn't believe that he was about to do this, but he felt bad for her. Everyone was treating her like crap and she didn't deserve it.

"Oh yeah, where?" Brenda asked.

"You can stay with me. I have an extra room and a lot of space. I don't want you to be out on the streets in the cold. I'm not that mean," Jason replied. He saw Brenda laugh. He hasn't seen that in a while and he was kind of happy that Brenda was smiling again. She always seemed so sad and miserable.

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose on you," Brenda said. She couldn't believe that Jason was actually offering to let her stay with him. He never really seemed to like her. They used to be so close, and then he had the accident. That's when they lost touch. He didn't seem to like her after the accident either. She knew it wasn't his fault. He couldn't remember anything. She missed having Jason as a friend though. They used to talk about everything.

"Of course I'm sure, and you're not imposing since I offered," Jason answered. He couldn't believe that he was actually getting along with Brenda and that he liked being around her. He couldn't even remember why he didn't like her. She was different now. She accepted things more than used to and she wasn't so immature now. She used to be so childish and needy. Now she was ready to be independent.

"Thank you so much Jason. You're really helping me out a lot," Brenda said grateful.

"Don't mention it. Are your things still at Jax's?" Jason asked.

"Yeah. I left after he told me that he wanted to try and fix things with Skye so I could try and find a place," Brenda explained. She was actually enjoying Jason's company and she was happy that he was being nice to her. She didn't expect that from Jason.

"Well let's got get them," Jason said. He got off the bench and helped Brenda up. He knew he would have to explain this one to Sonny. Jason made it well known that he didn't like Brenda. But she didn't seem so bad anymore. She's grown up a lot since he knew her.

"That sounds like a good idea," Brenda said smiling.

TBC...