Sometimes Life Just Sucks
Summary: Kendall, confused on his feelings for Logan, leaves the apartment on a walk, and ends up possibly ruining his life.
I had this on here for a while... but no one ever reviewed... so I'll post it again. PLEASE REVIEW!
Kendall's POV-
After a day of practicing multiple dance moves, harmonies, various other things, I needed to take a walk. I said good night to my friends, pretended to be asleep, and waited till they were all sound asleep before I redressed, grabbed my house key, and then left.
The L.A. air was a bit cold, but previously living in Minnesota, it didn't bother me much. Lots had changed in the 6 months since me and my 3 best friends moved here. Not just moving, but I had started out here with a great girlfriend, but that was a while back.
*Flashback*
"Hey Kendall!" I turned around to see Jo running towards me.
"Oh, Hey Jo." I smiled.
"Ummm... do you wanna go see a movie, or go get something to eat, with me? Tonight?" She asked nervously.
"Actually... I can't. James rented a really scary movie, and you know how Logan and Carlos can't stand them. And James doesn't want to watch it alone." I said, and her face kinda fell.
"Kendall this is the 4th date you have ditched with me this month! Do you even want to date me?" She asked, slightly aggravated.
"Yeah..." I sighed. "I'm really sorry..."
"Well sometimes I can hardly tell if you even like girls!" She yelled then stormed off, leaving me in the crowded lobby.
*Flashback End*
She was right... I used canceled date after date. I was afraid to actually full out date her. My heart just tugged me in a different direction than to her. I turned on a side street about a mile away from the apartment, and continued walking down the deserted street. The busy-ness of L.A. streets seemed to die down the farther away I got from the main roads.
Recently I've had to learn to trust my friends. They were the closest people to me, besides my mom and sister.
*Flashback*
"Hey Carlos?" I turned to Carlos, who was sitting next to me on the bright orange couch.
"Hmm?" He asked, turning away from his TV show. Carlos and I were alone in the apartment. James took Logan with him to the nearest drug store to get hair care products. Mom and Katie went to a movie.
"I have a issue..." I said quietly. He looked at me and his eyes showed confusion.
"What's wrong?" He placed a hand on my shoulder.
"I... I like someone..." I mumbled.
"So?" He shrugged.
"...Someone I shouldn't..." I looked down at my hands.
"Who?" He asked.
"You promise not to hate me?" I grabbed his leg and looked at him.
"Yes. Promise!"
"It's... it's... Logan..." I said. Then a second later James and Logan slammed through the door.
He jumped up and greeted the two as nothing I just told him had fazed him.
*Flashback End*
I turned on another street, now completely on the other side of the town, and came across a loud bar. I had no idea where I was. I could recognize anything in the dark. I glanced at my wrist, where my watch should have been, but it wasn't there. I cursed silently, for forgetting it, and looked around. I couldn't locate a street sign and then I knew I was lost. I saw people entering the bar that looked to be my age. I figured there had to be a clock somewhere there. So I walked over. There were guards at the door. Guards in L.A. didn't care your age, they just wanted money. I reached in my pocket and thankfully there were 2 twenty-dollar bills and a few ones wadded up. I handed the man the twenties, and walked right in. I was sure I wasn't supposed to be in there, but they didn't stop me. I passed a bunch of sweaty bodies and sat on a barstool. The bar tender asked what I wanted and asked for a water, and I handed him a couple ones. I watched in shock as I saw men dancing all over other men. Some of them were kinda cute. But they all had partners. I was new at the whole gay dating thing... and never being with a guy before, and seeing them all together kinda made me blush. I stood to leave. I felt out of place and awkward. I was in one of the many gay clubs, one that I had passed with Carlos and Logan, while in the car.
*Flashback*
Carlos, Logan, and I were driving down the street, well Logan was driving, I was in the passenger seat, and Carlos was in the back behind Logan. We stopped at a stoplight and we saw to men making out against a building. I blushed as Logan commented on the sight.
"Wow that's really gross." He shook his head.
"Really? It's not to bad..." I said. I never knew that Logan didn't prefer gay guys.
"I'm not even gonna get into this subject..." Carlos mumbled from the back seat.
"You really think it's gross?" I asked once we drove on away from the guys.
"Yeah... I mean it's like two guys... kissing and getting all over each other... and those stupid clubs they have! It's sick!" He said keeping his eyes on the road. I looked in my visor mirror at Carlos in the back seat. He had a sorry look on his face.
"I don't prefer the thought of those clubs either." I mumbled. I knew it was a total lie and Carlos knew too. But I wasn't quite ready for Logan to know.
*Flashback End*
I needed to find a clock then get home. I felt stupid that I didn't even bring my watch... And I felt even more stupid that I forgot my cell phone. And to top it all off, I didn't check for a clock, and paid for my water, then left before it came. I just wasn't all there in the head or something.
As I exited the club, I saw two people standing outside. I walked over to them cautiously. I knew approaching strangers was like safety rule number 1, but I really needed the time. I walked slowly, as one of them glanced at me. In the light from the club I could see he had strawberry blonde, shoulder length hair and was my height. Maybe a few inches taller. He stopped the conversation that he and the other guy were having as I got closer to them.
"Umm... do you have the time?" I asked, kind of nervous. Talking to strangers was not my specialty.
"Yah... it's 2:28." He said pulling out his phone. My mouth hung open.
"Shit... it's really late..." I sighed and glanced around for a street sign.
"You lost?" He asked.
"A bit..." I chuckled, kinda nervous. He was kinda cute, but I was more focused on getting home, than having a crush.
"Where are you headed?" He asked.
"Ummm... The Palm Woods..." I said.
"Okay. I can take you there." He turned to the other male. "Hey I'll be right back." He said. The other male nodded and we started to head in the general direction I had came from.
"So... What's your name?" He asked, zipping his black jacket up to his chin, then shoving his hands in his pockets. I looked around to watch for street signs incase I was to get lost again.
"I'm Kendall..." I mumbled. "I'm sorry for being such a burden... I didn't think you would help me as much as you are." I heard him chuckle. I blushed and could hear my heart beat in my ears. We walked under streetlight after streetlight. He didn't say something right away so I glanced over at him. He had what I saw to be blue eyes. His shoes scuffed along the ground as we walked in silence. It helped to fill the awkward silence we had created. We walked a block and turned onto another road that had cars zooming by at high speeds.
"Nice name. I'm Micah." He finally said, and smiled at me as I watched him. "So you live at the Palm Woods? Isn't that the place where actors and actresses live?"
"Yeah." I said. The wind picked up and I wrapped my arms around my body. He seemed to shiver slightly and he started walked a bit closer to me.
"You in any movies?" He asked, slightly bumping into me. "Oh sorry... I'm cold..." He chuckled again and put space between us.
"I'm in a band." I said.
"Oh sweet!" He smiled. "Being in a band must be awesome!"
"So what about you?" I asked.
"Well... I don't know where to start..." He stumbled.
"Who was the guy with you?" I asked. Wow I felt dumb for being nosey.
"My twin brother, Noah. We were trying to get him with someone tonight." He said.
"Oh... I just thought..." I blushed at my accusations. I just had to look stupid in front of others.
"You figured it was my boyfriend?" He laughed and pushed me lightly. "I guess you could... considering we were outside a gay bar. Ha."
"Sorry..." I stopped walking. "I shouldn't have assumed."
"You're fine." He walked over in front of me. "So more about you. Tell me about your band."
"Well. There is me, and my 3 friends, Logan, James, and Carlos." I said and we started to walk again. He bumped into me again. "I moved here from Minnesota... so the cold nights don't bother me." I said realizing he was cold again. We turned on a street that looked a tad familiar and I realized it was the road that led to the Palm Woods.
"Lucky. I've lived here all my life. I hate the cold." He said. "So what are you doing out so late?" He asked.
"Well... I just needed to think. What about you? You don't seem much older than me." I said back. Maybe he was pulling an age card.
"I'm 17..." He said. "I shouldn't be out... but my parents aren't too cautious with my brother and I. Just with my little sister."
"You have a little sister? How old?" I asked. "My sister is ten."
"She is eleven." He said as I saw the Palm Woods come into view. "How old are you?"
"I'm only 16. I'll be 17 soon though."
"You must have had a lot to think about since you walked so far from your apartment."
"Yeah..." I looked at him again. His hair reminded me of James', how it blew in the wind. I liked James. Not in that way. But I always thought his hair is what made his the most attractive.
"Well here we are." We stopped in front of the doors. The wind had picked up some so we were closer than some might suggest we should be.
"Thanks alot Micah." I smiled.
"It was not problem. I got to met you." He smiled back and his teeth glinted in the moonlight. Up close I really got to see his gorgeous features. His eyes I saw was actually a bright blue color and he smelled of Cuda man spray. I didn't prefer it on James. Because he wore too much. But he had on just a touch bit. "Hey... umm you wanna... go out some time?" He asked in the silence.
"Really?" I asked, shocked. Did I want this? I mean I knew I liked guys... but was I ready for my first relationship? And what about Logan? I still wanted to date him.
"Only if you want to." He took my hands in his. His hands were warm against my cold ones.
"Okay sure... Uhm how about you meet me here... tomorrow. We could go swimming... and you could meet my friends." I suggested.
"Okay." He smiled. "Tomorrow then. Oh can I have your number?"
"Sure." I pulled him into the empty lobby and grabbed a pen off the front desk. Writing it on his hand, I realized I could have grabbed a piece of paper.
"Thanks." He said grabbing the pen. "Here's mine." He proceeded to do the same. I glanced down at my hand.
"Thank you... See you tomorrow then." I smiled as I watched him walk away. He turned around and smiled at me before waving. I waved back and headed upstairs.
I took out my key and opened the door as quietly as possible. As I shut it my mom turned on the light.
"Where were you?" She yelled.
"Mom! I'm sorry... I was taking a walk. I couldn't sleep." I mumbled and shoved my hands in my pockets.
"At 3 in the morning?" She placed her hands on her hips.
"Sorry mom..." I sighed.
"Go to bed..." She turned and walked back to her room.
I ran to James and Carlos' shared room.
Climbing on Carlos' bed I started to lightly shake him. "Carlos..." He moaned and rolled over to face me.
"Hmm?" He sighed.
"I need to talk to you..." I said.
"What?" He sat up, and I shifted to sit next to him. "I got a date!" I whispered excitedly.
"Shh..." James sat up and then layed back down.
"Really? With who? Not Logan right?" He asked, only once James was sound asleep again.
"No..." I shook my head. "I met a guy while taking a walk just a bit ago."
"You left?" He scratched his head.
"Yeah... I needed to de-stress-ify... so I went to take a walk. I met him, after asking him for the time, and he asked me out... He is coming over here tomorrow... to swim. Since it's our day off." I smiled. "Will you all meet him? Please?"
"Sure Kendall." He smiled and hugged me. "Now... go to bed..." He moaned. I stood and went to my room, where Logan was still sound asleep.
I layed down and saw my phone light up. Grabbing it, I already had a text from Micah.
'Night.' It read. It made me smile.
'Night' I texted back, put it back on my bedside table and rolled over into a deep sleep.
