Boundaries of Air
Authoresss Note:
This is a Tokio Hotel one shot I am really hoping to get it all typed and uploaded today
I HAVE A 6 DAY WEEKEND TAKE THAT!
Anyway this is based on
Utopia- Within Temptation
Geh- Tokio Hotel
Stay- Hurts
Over and Over Again- Tim McGraw and Nelly
They are all awesome you should listen to them
I also have a Youtube video to make AKAEmoGossips – Check it
Read on:
Magdeburg, Germany
It was the last night of summer. The sun was beginning to leak its gold and red blood across the sky. The cool air blew through Alex's wet hair and she shivered as she walked. She felt Bill squeeze one of her hands as her other steadied the soccer bag over her shoulder. She was content to walk in silence beside Bill was she felt that he was restless.
Bill toyed with his tongue ring. He had to tell her and there was just no good way to do it. He struggled to find the words.
"Are you ready for school tomorrow?" Alex asked him then. Bill blinked, she had dove right into his problem. He knew that sitting in her room was a packed backpack and all the reports she had for summer homework were neatly stored away.
"I need to talk to you about that actually," Bill said.
"Oh?"
"I'm not going back to school?" Bill said staring at the sunset in front of him.
"No?" she said. He could tell that she was starting to do calculations in her mind.
"It's because of the band," Bill said. Her eyes narrowed slightly.
"You're making enough to quit school?" it wasn't really a question, she knew the answer. He could also see that she pretty much knew what was coming.
"Jost says we need to go on tour." Bill paused, the words were out he couldn't take them back.
"You're leaving?" She asked stepping away and dropping his hand. He winced she might as well have slapped him for the betrayed look in her eyes.
"Yes, I have to," Bill said looking down. He couldn't face her.
"When exactly were you planning on telling me?" She said and her voice was so even and calm like they were discussing math homework that Bill looked up. Her face was expressionless in a way that almost scared him more than her hurt.
"I've been meaning to tell you but there was never a good time and I could never find the words. I didn't want to ruin the time we had together."
"When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow morning."
"Cut that one short didn't you?" she said sharply and Bill winced.
"I'm sorry," he tried again but some part of him knew it was a lost war.
"I guess this is goodbye Bill," Alex told him.
"Alex this doesn't have to be…" he said running out of his sentence as he tried to come up with a reason why it wasn't.
"You're leaving and I'm staying here, we are both going to be busy."
"We can try and work it out," he said, he didn't want to say goodbye. Even though they had been together for four years this was the first time that the words Boyfriend and Girlfriend had meant anything to either of them. It had taken him years to get her to trust him and Bill realized that by waiting so long he may have thrown her trust in her face.
"No, Bill, we can't. You know as well as I that we barely see each other during the school year as it is." She said coolly. That was true enough, different course schedules and her sports and his music had always threatened to rip them apart. It looked like it may have finally won.
"There has to be a way."
"Were going in different directions Bill; we can't hold each other back. Neither one of us would appreciate being trapped." The word 'trapped' hit him hard. Did he make her feel trapped? Or was she worried about trapping him here when his dreams lay beyond the ocean?
"I don't want to say goodbye." He said.
"Sometimes it is necessary." She said. She was praying to God in heaven that he would just say it. If he kept at her she would break. She would keep him. She couldn't do that, he couldn't fulfill his dreams he was tethered to her. She would never be able to focus on school and soccer if she spent all her time wishing he was with her, checking her phone for texts, she had seen it before.
"Alex," he had to try one last time.
"Things have to fall apart for the future to fall together," she told him in a quiet voice.
"Goodbye, Alex," Bill said turning to walk away. It seemed that he would get nowhere. This wasn't surprising really, he had just taken her biggest fear: abandonment, and shoved it in her face, or her heart. "But Alex," he said turning around to face her once last time before he walked away, "I will always love you."
Alex let only a single tear fall as he walked away. Then she ran for it, she jumped the fence rather than take the time to go around the block and pass Bill's house. She ran into her house, ever so grateful her parents weren't home. She ran into her room and dropped her bag and let her twin through her arms around her. Alex let herself cry into her sister's pink fuzzy pajama clad shoulder. Her sister, who like Alex mostly avoided human contact, hugged her tightly.
Bill walked home slowly. The world seemed darker. He felt as if his heart was slowly shattering and each little piece was breaking off and falling to the bottom of his chest. He walked like a Zombie into his room. He just sat there and stared at the wall. Tom stuck his head in, he winced when he saw his brother, though he must have known how he was feeling, and went and sat next to him.
"She's gone Tom," Bill said. Tom shook his head. He couldn't imagine how his brother was feeling except for the part of it he himself could feel. Collette, his on again off again girlfriend, had given him a kiss and wished him well. It wasn't a huge deal. Tom just wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulder, he never was good with words.
Bill
Several Years Later
If you ever asked me what the happiest time of my life was I could answer that in a heartbeat; the summer before my sophomore year, more specific than that, the first day of that summer. I spent that night at a soccer party. My girlfriend was a freshman on the varsity team, and they took the championship title. Tom and I went to the party at the coaches house to spend the night with Alex and Colette Keilholtz. A party with my girlfriend, why is that the best night ever when I'm famous? It's because that night something changed. After four years of our relationship something changed, suddenly we were more than just friends with a title we were boyfriend and girlfriend.
To be honest I do not remember much of the night. I just remember the warmth of her body against mine as I held her, the feeling of her silk like hair on my hands, and her bright green eyes sparkling up at me. It didn't bother me that she wore athletic sandals, soccer pants, a muddy jersey, and a varsity jacket. I remember walking her home with the warm summer air floating around us. A few feet ahead of us Tom walked with his on again off again girlfriend Collette and their laughter filled the air around us. That night, I told Alex I loved her and she said I love you, right back.
So what then is my worst memory, the last say of the summer. I told her I was going on tour. She told me she couldn't handle a long distance relationship. That was the last time I saw her. I told her I loved her one last time and only silence followed me. I don't know where she is, or what she's doing, or how she is, or even if she died somehow and that kills me inside.
I'm famous and millions of girls want me, yet it doesn't matter because she doesn't. Everyday I smile at the camera for millions to see and I want to cry because she isn't there to see it. Even my twin doesn't understand how badly I want her back. The worst part is I don't know if she even misses me at all.
Alex
There's a really hard lesson that I learned. All the fame in the world doesn't when you've thrown love away and following your dreams isn't worth it if you're all alone. I've always been a go getter. An independent figure, the type that depends on nothing and know one. All I ever wanted was to get my self out of that tiny little town. Now I'd send myself back in a heart beat if I could have him. I was one to believe that if a guy is in-between you and your dreams that he is the wrong guy, I still believe that sometimes that is true, but I realized how wrong I was when I watched him walk away. I thought I would get over him but I never did.
The happiest time of my life- summer after freshman year.
The worst- beginning of sophomore year.
I always try not to dwell on the past but some things I just can't shake: his eyes, his touch, his kiss, his voice, him walking away. I've made a name for myself and so has he. I'm a starter on a soccer team called Freiheit (Germany's best pro soccer team). No matter how exhausted, wet, sore, muddy, or thrilled I am I still see him when I close my eyes.
When you join our team you have to sign a contract part of it states that if you become pregnant you may be removed from the team. Most of us take that as a celibacy policy, it wasn't hard to sign at all, Bill was my first and only boyfriend. Once there was light in my life, now it's only love in the dark.
I've seen Bill on TV, everyone in Germany has. He is always happy and smiling. I'm not sure whether that thrills or kills me. I want him, need him, to be happy but it seems as if he didn't look back at all after he walked away. It seems so sad but I still hold onto his last words 'I will always love you'. I would go to him but I'm scared he'll send me away, he may have someone else, I may bring back bad memories, I may just mean nothing, all of that is unbearable. I've learned over the years that screaming fans, flashing lights, or cameras are some of the best drugs out there. I've seen them drive athletes off the edge; they always loose it when they play for fame and not the game. I bet he doesn't even remember me. That seems so cruel when I can still see him perfectly, still feel his lips on mine, my hair in his hands, and smell his sweet smell. Yet how could I ever want him to suffer like this?
Bill
I never did understand my brother's fascination with sports. He hates playing them but apparently they are fun to watch. As much as it baffles me Georg and Gustav agree. I haven't enjoyed a game since I went to the championship game Alex played in. Then again I was watching her not the game, her body moving like fluid lighting, rain plastering her hair to her face and her jersey to her body. I shook myself, it did me no good to dwell on what I could not have.
"Bill come here," Tom broke into my reverie.
"What?" I said slightly annoyed, but I went.
"Look at number 15," he said pulling up a player stat chart.
Alex
Blood flowing through your veins at 100 miles an hour, a feeling like lightning living in your skin, that's what I live for. I call that pumped and there's almost nothing better. The locker room held 20 of us all matching; maroon ponytails, occasionally revealing identical soccer ball tattoos, red and black and white warm ups, black and maroon custom cleats, it was intense. We are an extreme methodology team: hair dye, a tattoo, and endless practice are designed to test you as well as to intimidate the other team. I took my place in the line of the soccer places. Every woman in this room lived, breathed, ate, drank, dreamed, and prayed soccer. We walked out onto the field deathly silent. I could see the other team shifting. I looked at the sky it was covered in thunder heads. I grinned soccer is ALWAYS more fun in the rain. I looked at the other team, I hoped they were ready to be demolished.
Bill
"Tom I don't care," I sighed.
"Yes you do," he said and I could feel his excitement.
"Why exactly do I care so much?" I asked him.
"Its taken me YEARS to figure it out!" Tom said obviously proud of himself.
"Figure what out?"
"JUST LOOK BILL!" he said frustrated. I looked and my heart stopped, it was hear, wicked grin and all.
"My god," I breathed, "It's her, it's Alex," I said and her name slipped past my lips like liquid gold.
"I told you you cared," Tom said smugly.
"Shut up," I snapped and surprisingly he did. I looked at the picture on the screen. Alex's maroon hair fell in dancing curls to her waist and her bangs played peek-a-boo with her eyes. Her eyes were a fierce, piercing, perfect green. Her lips were twisted into a playful smirk I knew meant trouble. Her maroon jersey tugged tight across her chest and folded down around her slender waist. Her long legs were sheathed in fitted black, maroon, and white pants. She was standing relaxed with her arms crossed with her weight to one side, I knew this to be a deceptively calm stance, I had almost forgotten just how pale she was, her dark clothes and hair made her skin seem to glow.
"Now do you want to watch the game?" Tom asked.
"I want to be at the game," I muttered.
"No time, we can try for the next one though."
"We should," I said settling onto the couch.
"Dude Bill is about to watch sports?" Georg said coming in to watch.
"The world is ending!" Gustav said joining the group.
Alex
We won, like there was a chance we wouldn't. I was shoved into the locker room by a rowdy team, screaming fans, and a lot of press. I made it to my bench and began to attempt to remove my rain and sweat soaked gear.
"Can someone open the door and tell the knew security guard that that's my sister and she is allowed to come in?" I yelled into the hullabaloo.
"That's creepy!" Someone I think was Mace yelled but went to get the door.
"You're creepy," I yelled back.
"What's your point?" she hollered.
"I don't have one!" I yelled over the laughter.
"Silly as ever," Collette's voice surprised even me.
"OH MEIN GOTT!" I yelped jumping up to hug her.
"I'm just amazing like that," she said violently hugging me back.
"Yes, yes you are," I said letting her go. I was more than aware of the fact that even though she had died her hair to match mine in support we didn't look like twins. She was easily 3 inches shorter than me just for starters. Not to mention that she is slender, tan, and naturally almost blonde while I am curvy, pale, and have almost black hair. Then her face is rounder and cuter than my own sharply carved features. She sat on the bench next to me and rested her head on my shoulder, ignoring the fact that my shoulder was sopping wet. We sat there and let the silence tell us everything words couldn't. we didn't see each other as much as we wished even though we lived in the same house. She was a work-aholic and I was a professional athlete. We were always busy. If I didn't play I'd see her more, but I prefer not to think of could-have-been-s.
Bill
I couldn't go to the game, I had a concert. I am not ashamed to admit that this almost brought me to tears of frustration. Yet it seems that my manager arranged a meeting anyway. So now I am sitting on ice cold bleachers watching a field of maroon haired woman play soccer. Did I mention that it was freezing? I watched, my nervousness growing in my chest, as practice ended she ran to the locker room. I walked down the bleachers slowly. She emerged with a bag over her shoulder and a phone in her hand. She walked up to me without looking up.
"Look, I don't know who you are, or what you want but it's my sister and my birthday and I have to go so please make it fast." She said looking up. I froze I had almost forgotten it was her birthday.
"Alex will you please look at me." I said. Even if she told me to get lost and get a life I needed to see her face up close, I needed to touch her. She twitched then froze. I just watched as she slowly looked up. The instant her eyes met mine we both froze. It was like lightning moved between us. I wasn't aware of moving, nor of her moving but suddenly I was holding her to me and she had her arms wrapped around me.
"I made a mistake," she started to say but I cut her off with a kiss.
"Take me back?" I asked her when we broke the kiss.
"Of course." She said. "I never should have left you in the first place."
"I'm the one who left," I said placing my hands on either side of her face.
"I made you." She said.
"Let's not worry about it." I told her. I didn't want to dwell on that past not when I had her here in my arms.
"Okay," she said and sighed.
"I have to go, Collette is waiting in the parking lot for me."
"I'll come back tomorrow." I promised.
"See you then."
"Alex, I love you."
"I love you more than I can say."
Alex
I raced out to the car my heart flying like an eagle. That was the best birthday present ever, make that second best the first was my sister. I slammed into the seat.
"Well hello happy?" Collette said with an unspoken question.
"Guess who I saw!" I commanded.
"God?" she said.
"BILL!" I almost shrieked.
"I TOTTALLY KNEW IT!" she shrieked right back.
"I love having a twin." I said.
"Just because I'm amazing." She said with a smirk.
"Of course."
Next Day
Practice was insane. It should have been hard but its hard to complain when I can't keep a smile off my face. I drove the pace onward. I could see stares from some of my team mates, mostly the new ones. I didn't care. My heart was in the sky. My brain was on the field. It was AWESOME. I thought I had loved soccer before but this was something new! I actually stopped to shower and change in the locker room before running outside, and nearly forgetting my bag.
"Where are you off to?" Mace asked me with a laugh in hr voice.
"No where," I said mysteriously.
"Definitely somewhere."
"NO!"
"Yes," Mace grinned.
"Right here," Bill's voice broke in.
"TOLD YOU SO." I stuck my tongue out at Mace who smirked and walked away.
"Don't want her to know about us?" Bill asked.
"I didn't know what to say. 'I'm going out with my ex-boyfriend who I haven't seen in years because I'm still hopelessly in love with him'" I said then snorted.
"That works." He said with a gentle smile that made my heart race.
"What ever you say." I said and realized that we were walking.
"Hope you don't mind if we take my car?" he said.
"Where are we going?"
"You will see."
"I hate surprises." I muttered.
"Know you don't."
"Do to!"
"Do not!"
"Fine."
Bill
I looked at Alex was staring out the window, doubtlessly trying to figure out where we were going. She moved her arm to push her hair back and I realized something that I had sort of noticed yesterday. She was still wearing the bracelet I gave her for her 13th birthday. I guess she really had missed me.
"Oh Bill!" She said when I finally parked. It was the forest behind where our elementary school used to be. They had ripped it down and built a new one when we were in 3rd grade. This was where we had met.
"I thought you might like it."
"I love it, I almost miss it here," she said with a laugh.
"Almost," Bill said with a laugh. He could barely remember the place.
"Its so weird."
"What is?"
"This place, you, it's like my life went back and started over and I never said goodbye."
"Maybe we should both have done things differently but we can't change it now."
"Amen to that." Alex said.
"Alex, I never should have walked away. I will never let you go again. Will you please marry me." I asked going down on one knee and pulling out a ring.
AUTHORESS NOTE
HA I love that ending myself
And no her soccer team does not actually exisit :P
Review NOW!
And I love you all.
