A short story because I apparently needed my heart to break a bit more
He doesn't know how many times he's been thinking about giving up on trying, tired of endless getting close and getting pushed away back to the start of what he wanted. To be that friend, lost was when those thoughts started and how many times he thought about it while being there for her when she needs him, to come out of it the next day alone.
The rum seemed like the closest friend right now and what he'd give to be far gone enough to stop thinking of it, of that blonde hair, green eyes that bore through him like no one else.
Emma Bloody Swan, the woman who bested him, the kiss and yet still here he was waiting and being there, one day it'll be worth it. Worth all the pain and loss of how she keeps pulling away from him, how he knows she's probably going to go to Bea's arms than his and he'll be in the cabin or the Rabbit hole getting drunk.
Because what else is a pirate supposed to do other than help out, they don't really need him or his help, they could be doing better without a one handed pirate with a drinking problem, especially as most of the residents look at him like he's just that.
Those words repeat themselves in his mind, he shouldn't let Pan get to him yet he couldn't find it in himself to stop, to escape the world of pain that he was feeling right now. He knows his brother would tell him to stop drinking his problems if he saw him, he'd probably throw him off the ship and to stop moping too, a smile crosses his lips at the memories of his brother and how he was here.
The thought of his brother brought tears to his eyes, he didn't know what he was to do right then.
Would he be even welcomed at Granny's if he entered?
He's thought so much on trying not to think about the blonde, that he decides he'll keep fighting because that's what he does.
