A/N I got this idea from the song 'Till I Collapse, by Eminem. and Dead and gone by Justin Timberlake and T.I

Summary: Set after New Moon. Bella didn't go completely catatonic . Something snaps within Bella, and she changes in the best way. She becomes stronger , faster, and overall, tougher. She learned the hard way, how crazy it is when you fall, so she picked herself up and puts up her walls. When Edward comes back, begging for forgiveness will he be able to break down those walls , or will he break down in the process?


Bella's Point Of View

It's been two weeks since Sam Uley found me on the forest floor , slowly crumbling, decaying . My heart, seemingly has been ripped out of my chest. He took it away. I always knew he would get bored of me, but I thought that I could use ignorance to be happy with the time I had.

Apparently, ignorance isn't always bliss. If I had seen this coming, I would have not gave him my all, my everything, and he didn't ever want it.

As I thought about it more, something changed within me. I realized , that if I kept feeling the way I did now, I would forever be living in a shadow, of fear, rejection, and disappointment. I couldn't be hung over a break up , like this. It didn't matter, that I fell, for a vampire. It didn't matter, that he was so beautiful. I no longer cared. I pulled all thoughts of them from my mind. If they wanted to cause me pain, I was going to be stoic. I would have to be ready for when somebody tried to break through my defenses, they would be ready for a world of difficulty. I would let no one into my walls, nobody, but my parents. They are the only constants I can rely on. No matter how erratic or quiet they were, they were the only things I could completely depend on. They were my rocks, before, but now, it's time I stand on my own two feet.

I stood up, grabbed a sweatsuit and went to change. I headed down stairs, with an extra bounce in my step. I realized it was still early, but I ignored that fact, and went to the kitchen, grabbing a granola bar, on my way to getting my keys.

"Bells?" Charlie asked groggily, as I wandered to the hall closet , to get a light jacket. "What are you doing up?" He sounded surprised, considering I haven't eaten or slept much in the past two days.

"I'm heading out , I'll be back by about..." I trailed off looking at the clock by the stove, which read 5:30. "maybe around 4:30."

"Where are you going so early?"

"No place in particular, just feeling better, needed some fresh air." I surprised myself, lying without hesitation.

"Oh. Okay. Be careful, stay out of the woods, I don't want you hurt." He grumbled, heading back upstairs.

I grabbed my truck keys, and made my way towards Port Angeles. I stopped by a sign, that read:

Boxing at the Port Angeles Gym


I went as fats as I could in my decrepit truck, thinking about the saved money I had in the back of my sock drawer , and wondering if I'd saved enough to buy a faster car. I easily found the Port Angeles Gym, and I parked my truck in the parking lot. I made my way inside, and I was astounded at my new found grace.

I walked to the front desk, and caught the attention, of a beautiful woman. She was shorter than me by a few inches, but had light brown hair, and grayish blue eyes.

"Hi ,can I help you Miss?

"I saw a sign , about the boxing classes, and I'd like to take a few. I'd also like to know how much a membership is." I said shyly.

"Of course." She looked at the computer screen and clicked on something. " You are very lucky, there are only two spots left."

I smiled, glad that I got part of my goal down.

"As for the membership, there are several types." She said sweetly. "I'd recommend the gold package. It's a little pricy, but completely worth it. You get access to all the equipment, and if you choose, you get a personal trainer. Also, the boxing lessons can be added into the package, and it will cost you less." I nodded, not really caring about the money. I had taken a lot of money from the sock drawer just in case. On the spot, I paid for a full year's membership and chose to get a personal trainer.

"Thank you! " I said brightly to Susan .

I walked out of the gym with a new found confidence. I got into my truck, and went to a car dealership. I didn't look at what dealer it was, but a salesman made his way to me .

"How can I help you today Miss?" He asked brightly. He looked well into his mid fifties, and seemed like a sweet old man.

I smiled back at his enthusiasm.

"Well, I'm just looking for a decent car, that is faster than sixty five miles an hour. My old, slow truck may have personality , but it won't survive weekly trips up here. " The man laughed, looking at my truck, which was parked by the side walk.

He led me to some decent cars, but I wasn't really feeling any vibe form them. I spotted a nice car, and asked Dan about it.

"That is a Nissan Altima Coupe. This model costs $27,270." I whistled. That was a lot, but maybe I could make it work. I had gotten a full scholarship, for the University of Washington, so I guess I could skim off the top of my very heft college fund. I had gathered that money, with job after endless job, and I had more than enough. I took out my bank debit card, and handed it to the man. He seemed surprised, but changed his expression, and led me to the office, I signed all the appropriate paperwork, and we agreed that the car would be dropped off the next in a few hours. I walked out of the dealership with the biggest smile in the world.

I was proud of myself. I had changed so much in the matter of a few hours. I still had three hours until I was expected home, since it was Charlie's day off.

I made the most drastic decision of my day yet. I headed to a salon I saw when I was going to the dealership. I went inside and was happy to see that it was practically empty, because it was a Sunday afternoon .

"How can I help you today miss?"

"I need you to cut my hair, in layers, up to my shoulders."

She looked at me with an expression of shock and defeat.

"Are you sure? You have beautiful hair, I'd feel bad if you didn't like it after wards." She asked sincerely. I nodded and she sighed , not rudely, but sad that she was going to cut my hair. I didn't argue with her about whether my hair was beautiful or not. It was plain and brown. Nothing special. A thought came to me.

"Could I get red tips please?"

She bit her lip and nodded sadly. I wanted to laugh because she was so serious about my hair being cut. She led me to a hair washing sink and washed my hair.

She cut my hair exactly as I asked, and she blow dried my hair. Somehow, the natural curl still ended up in my hair. I had told her not to put in to much work into my hair, because I had to be able to run my hands through my hair. I giggled, as I ran my hands through the red tips of my hair.

It seemed surreal. A few hours ago, I was moping about heartbreak and now, I'm laughing as if I never met the family . I thanked Jenny and paid, feeling refreshed. You know the feeling right? When you just changed something about you and you feel all special, as if there is a spotlight directly on you. I no longer felt completely introverted. I felt like a shining star.

I made my way back to Forks. I went to the pharmacy, and picked up a few necessities. Instead of y usual strawberry shampoo, I grabbed a watermelon kiwi shampoo. It smelled even better than my strawberry shampoo. When I got home it was a little past 4:30, and there was a note on the refrigerator from Charlie.

Angela called. Asked you to call her back. Out at the Black's house. Be back later. Don't worry about dinner, I'll eat at Billy's. Love you.

I sighed, and went upstairs to take a shower. I was careful not to wet my hair, and quickly put on a new pair of flannel pajamas. I picked up the house phone and dialed Angela's number.

She picked up on the second ring and seemed surprised that I was calling her back.

"Bella? Hey! " I laughed at her shock. She seemed out of breath so I wondered if I called at a bad time.

"Did I call at a bad time?"

"Oh no. I'm just trying to make my little brother stop fussing around so much." She giggled.

"Oh , so you called before? Sorry about that I was … Out..." I trailed off.

"Oh? Where did you go? You sound very- happy." She stated.

"I guess you'll see tomorrow. I've made a few changes. I think you'll like them." I sounded just the slightest bit cryptic.

"How big are these.. changes?"

"Well some are a little drastic, some not so much."

"Well, okay, i'll see you tomorrow. I have some last minute homework to do ." She laughed.

"Yeah me too. Bye. Take care. " We hung up and I stared up at my ceiling grinning like the Cheshire cat. It may have been hours later, that I heard a soft knocking at my door.

"Come in!!" I said loudly. I didn't move. I just laid there with my hands behind my head.

"Hey Bells , are you feeling okay..? " Charlie asked confused, at my happy face. "What did you do to your hair?" He asked even more confused.

"I'm great!" I said brightly " and I just needed a change. So, I made a few. " He raised his eyebrow, just as the doorbell rang. He could have been the epitome of confused at that moment. It was almost seven thirty and someone was at the door.

I immediately pushed past Charlie and ran down the steps. I signed the paper and practically squealed as I saw my shiny new black man handed me the keys and left. Charlie was at the door stunned.

"Bells? Where did you get the money to buy this car?"

"Don't worry, I saved up my money since I was six, and it came in handy. I needed a car that would get me to Port Angeles three times a week without breaking down. " I said nonchalantly. I walked to the car and started it.

It purred to life silently and charlie slid into the passenger seat.

"Did you get it registered and insured?" I nodded smiling. I took care of it after going to the pharmacy.

"Wait. Why do you need to go to Port Angeles three times a week?"

"I'm taking boxing classes, and I got a membership at the gym. I'm gonna get stronger I said calmly as I backed out of our driveway.

"This is a nice car Bella." Charlie said, unsure of what to say. I wouldn't either. What do you say to your daughter when you go out and come home, and she is a completely different person? Yeah, I don't know either.

After the quick spin, I pulled into our driveway behind the truck and sighed.

"Dad , what do I do with the truck?"

He chuckled. " Well, we can either sell it..." I snorted, nobody would buy this beast. Charlie laughed, agreeeing with me. " Or we could take it to the junk yard.?" I nodded. All good things come to an end, unfortunately, this time that good thing was my beloved, decrepit truck. I got ready for school tomorrow, and laid down to sleep. The strange thing was that I wasn't nervous. Not about my new attitude, or the fact that I would be revealing that

I wasn't necessarily all that limited in funding.

I didn't care that every thing was going to change.. Not that I knew this yet.....


A/N I hope you like it. I wont have a steady schedule for a few more days soo... sorry If I don't get updates to you quickly enough. Reviews encourage me, so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! PLEASE.

10 reviews will get you a chapter by Friday night or Saturday morning.!!!

{Massiel}