Hope you find this funny! Remember to comment and feel free to give critiques! I do not own Teen Titans. I do own Distruttore di Doom, though.
To whom this may concern,
I, the infamous Distruttore di Doom, whom I am sure you have heard of before, have captured a person of significance. If you wish for me to return this significant person please journey to my lair (not the plotting-to-take-over-the-word lair, the taking-over-Jump-City lair) after you have followed a few of my demands.
So You Want to be an Evil Villain?
You will need to require these things to take over a city (to learn how to take over the world, see page 54):
1. One thousand dollars
2. Acquire a few hundred henchmen
3. A hostage is key!
4. Flying vehicle/aircraft
5. Evil, loyal sidekick (optional)
If there are any questions, please don't ask (Ha! See what I did there?). Sincerely,
Distruttore di Doom
"… Um, does anyone know who this is?"
"Er…"
Robin looked up at the team lounging around the living room. Cyborg, Beast Boy and Starfire were on the couch while Raven stood behind it. One hand on Beast Boy's shoulder and the other holding up an open book. They were all looking at Robin, who had just read a ridiculous letter.
"The mayor just faxed this to me." Robin said, striding towards the group and handing the piece of paper to Cyborg.
"There's a book called So You Want to be an Evil Villain?" Cy asked in disbelief.
Raven nodded while the others shrugged.
"So, what, he just ripped it out of a book?" Beast Boy looked the letter over in Cy's hand.
"What does… 'Distruttore di Doom' mean?" Starfire asked, looking up at Robin.
"Destroyer of Doom." Cyborg answered. He was already at the computer looking him up. "Ugh, he's another one of those 'villains' who live in their parents basement… but, wait… There's a whole different file under his name, too."
"What's it say?" Robin asked, walking up to the screen.
"He's some billionaire guy who's been locked up in jail for years. Supposedly, he's still in."
"What's his real name?" Beast Boy yawned.
Robin gave him an annoying glance, "Rupert. Rupert Hollman. Age forty-three on one file, twenty-two on another. Cy, can you find out why he's in jail?"
"Here. He's in the slammer 'cause he built some odd weapon that blasted his whole mansion. It was on a hill, so it hit some innocent houses."
"Weapon?" Raven raised her eyebrow.
"Yeah, no one knows what it was 'cause it blew up, but it was made out of stolen materials. The kind money can't buy."
"This was the older dude?" Beast Boy sat up on the couch.
"Mm, the younger Rupert's hand writing matches the letter, too." Cyborg said, inspecting the paper again.
"Cool," Beast Boy jumped up. "Let's go get some bad guy before dinner. My show's on and the DVR is too full to record it, Star."
Starfire crossed her arms, "Robin enjoys the operas of soap!"
Robin blushed, "Wait, guys. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Cyborg, there's nothing on that weapon? No one knows about it?"
"Well, he had a butler, but I doubt he would talk. They never do."
"Where is he?"
"Lives in Jump City."
"Get the coordinates and the Titan car ready."
"You really want to go after this guy?" Cyborg raised his eye brow, but was already typing up the coordinates on his arm.
"We might as well check him out." Raven said, closing her book.
"Exactly," Robin nodded. "Let's go team."
As they all headed for the garage, Beast Boy tip toed towards the TV. Raven noticed and pulled him by the collar before he could grab the remote.
"Leave Starfires' Soaps alone." She said, dragging him.
"Aww, common Rae! It's the finale!" Beast Boy whined, allowing her to continue dragging him.
Raven rolled her eyes, "Common, you know you love me, Rae." He said.
"Shut up," She blushed as the door closed behind them.
-
"Master? What should I say to them, Master?" "Are you worried?"
"The truth. Everything up until now."
"Even…?"
"No, that part you can leave out."
"So, just the two?"
"Just the two."
"…A bit."
"You wont be harmed in this operation, Servitore."
"It's not me I'm worried about."
"Don't worry, my dear friend. Everything is going according to plan."
~Beia
