This is my first attempt at a Angel fan fic. Please R/R and be kind. This was written
after a failed attempt at writing a Outsiders fic.

Sleepless Days
By Jennifer North


It was 3pm when Cordy went to check on Angel. Standing in his doorway she wondered
if she realized how often she did this, wondered if she knew she loved him. She doubted
it. Angel wasn't very good at realizing people loved him. He didn't see that most of her
jokes were made when he was close to her, when his body brushed against his.

Back in Sunnydale she had always wondered what Buffy had seen in this two hundred
plus vampire with a heart and soul. Know she knew.....she knew all too well now. She
could see it in his eyes, smile, lips, and everything else that made Angel who he was. It
was more then that though. She knew Angel was afraid of dying, everyone was, but
when his friends needed help his fear didn't matter. All that mattered was helping them.

She remembered when Doyle had died. She had sobbed on Angel's shoulder for hours
and he never complained even though he was hurting just as much. He just let her cry
and held her hand and when she was ok he left. She guessed he left because he didn't
want to bother her with his pain and his sorrow. He did that a lot. He never realized that
she wanted to be bothered.

Angel laid on his bed pretending to be asleep as Cordelia watched him from the doorway.
She did this often and he couldn't tell if it was concern for a friend or something more.
He watched her sleep everything she got stuck in the hotel overnight and knew that with
himself it was something more.

He loved her with all of his un-beating heart and wished he could tell her. What good
would that do though? The powers that be made sure he was never fully happy. If that
happened, it would be "Good-bye vampire with a soul and hello psycho killer demon," to
quote Cordy. He figured that if he told her it would only hurt her more and maybe if he
didn't tell her she could be happy someday.

Cordelia slowly and quietly closed Angel's bedroom door wiping a tear from her cheek as
Angel back in the room did the same.