You cannot understand, nor do you want to.
-Spec Ops: The Line
National City was quiet. No robberies, no fires, no accidents. A rare night.
The sounds of cars echoed off the buildings. The soft murmur of the thousand voices and the thousand heartbeats filled her ears.
She remembers that place far away. The one that exists only in her faded memories. It wasn't as diverse as this one. It was a rigid place with a stoical people. Divisions were clear. Associations always had meaning beyond pleasure of company.
Her House sat at the pinnacle. Whispers of a divine descendant always brought that hidden pride to well up in her chest.
An Honored House her parents said time and time again. Guests were regular in their visits and importance. She remembered having to be formal all those time. Stick a fake smile on her face when all she wanted to do was read her books.
Her hands always twitched to try her hand at the works of the Artist Guild but she was an El, daughter of Alura In-Ze and Zor-El destined for the Science or Justice Guild. She had two choices. She was already luckier than most.
She had shared her desire with her Aunt Astra.
Uncle Non had heard her and he sat her on his knee. "Kara," he said. "One day, we will make it so that you may join any Guild you wish." He kissed her forehead.
"Is that true, Aunt Astra?" She remembered saying Aunt Astra gave her a wide smile.
She picked her up and spun her around. She then drew her close and nuzzled her. "Little One," She had said in her ear. "When have we ever lied to you?"
Then they left on an important mission. She never saw her Uncle again. She saw her Aunt one brief time after that.
Then, everything was thrown into chaos. Earthquakes happened with too much frequency. There were reports of members of the Labor Guild being eaten by the ground as they worked on the last few fertile fields.
Masks of her peers fell as panic swept the higher political and religious orders. There was a mass gathering at all hours at the gates of the Religious Guild. Demands of why were met with silence.
Blasphemy swept the streets. Rao's abandonment was screamed to all that would listen and it would be countered by claims of Cythonna's revenge. Not enough worship to Rao weakened him to the point the goddess returned to raze everything to ruin.
The scientific members were quiet in the chaos. Faces etched in shame and acceptance, they prepared for what they had foreseen.
The mighty politicians issued one last condemnation. A general recall of all ambassadors. Only a few in far off reaches of the galaxy would survive. An insignificant number than ensure that with the passing of the generation, the self-genocide would be complete.
Her families' secret escape revealed to her in the final minutes. Her father and Uncle Jor-El raced her to the pod that would allow her escape.
Her families' guard would look at her with a strange look. One mixed with pity and hope and envy. The Captain of the Guard stopped them. He knelt, handing her a dagger, one of practical use. He looked up at the two men, inclined his head and removed himself from their path.
Uncle nodded back and we resumed racing toward the room.
She remembered being so lost. It was so fast. A promise to protect her cousin. To delay the death of Krypton.
She had failed.
Arrived too late and banished by her only blood relative. He didn't speak her – their – language. He chose to send her away without allowing for any sort of adjustment to the strange new world.
She was afraid.
She looked at the sky. A yellow sun beating down on her reminding her of her loss. Her people gone. Her culture gone. Her God gone.
Then, they took away her language. Too dangerous they said. The questions people would ask. They forced on her this strange tongue, practicing and practicing until her accent disappeared.
She prayed while they slept. Waited until the breathing evened out and prayed to Rao in secret, in silence. They had already taken so much.
They were an inattentive people after they had deemed her acceptable, lost in their primitive science. She only really had Alex to bond with.
Except…
Alex resented her. She felt her irritation every time she fumbled and made a mistake. Every time, Jeremiah and Eliza would chastise Alex for every misstep. So, she learned to hide. Hidden, no one would see her mistakes and Alex wouldn't be punished.
It didn't work. She had to be a hero and save the mother and child. She had to be impulsive and take Alex flying.
She had to be invisible, not just hidden.
Sometimes she would wonder if staying on Krypton would have been a preferable fate. She was already an empty shell of Kara Zor-El, daughter of Rao and Krypton.
She sighed and shook out the dreary thought.
The city lights glistening of revealing the architecture reminded her that this city would never be the home she remembered in her youth. She sat on the railing, her booted feet dangling precariously off over the side. Her hood eclipsed her face in shadow.
She rolled her shoulders. Her dark blue leather jacket road up slightly as she stretched upward, her hands interlocked. A habit of feigning human discomforts that she didn't feel.
Soft footfalls came from behind her. The balcony door slid open.
A beat.
"It's a beautiful view don't you think?" He whispers. He knew his voice would be heard in her sensitive ears. She said nothing as he moved to lean against the glass door. He slid down and lifted his leg to lay his head on his knee.
A bird flew past.
She motioned toward it. "By the time I was born, there was little in the way of wildlife left. Imagine my surprise when I awoke on this planet to see so much...life. I stared at them for weeks, months even, unable to look away."
"You still don't." He said simply. "You watch and look and take it all in." He paused. "It isn't enough is it?"
She clenched her fist. 'No.' she thought. She stared as it flew away. She took a deep breath and drew her arm back. She dug into herself.
They sat there in a calm silence. She listened to his steady heart. One beat. Two beats. Three beats. She counts all the way up to one hundred eighty seven before he broke the silence.
"I hear things. Of a nice stranger helping out those caught out in the less savory areas."
Her shoulders dropped lower. Her head drooped and she stared at the empty sidewalk. She spotted a couple turning the corner. They had a stroller in between them, one hand to each handle. The woman smiled broadly and made wild gestures. The man laughed and gave her a peck on the cheek. Her spine strengthened. She lifted her head. She turned around to face him and stood on the balcony floor.
She looked down to him. "I won't stop."
He looked at her eyes. He shook his head. "I'm not asking you to." He gave her smile. She smiled back slightly.
She hopped on her feet twice before deciding to sit facing him.
She pulls back to hood. "I still think I'd be fine without this thing."
He looked at her exasperated. "We've talked about this. Glasses are not a disguise."
She rolled her eyes and pouts. "I look like that Bat from Gotham." He busted out laughing. "I'm serious." She bopped his nose. "If I turn all broody, it's on you."
He looked at her softly and gave her a toothy grin.
She looked at this human and some part of her wonders if all have gone according to plan, Kal would have been the one looking at her like that. She stood back up and turned back to look at the city. He chuckled softly then sighed.
"I want the best for them. All of them."
"I know."
"One day, they'll force you out. Those… vultures you work with are just waiting for a juicy story and you're it." He let those words sink in. "You won't be able to hide forever and then they'll grow to rely on you. A hero instead of themselves."
"And when that day comes, I trust you to do what is necessary to avoid that." People who do what she does just treat the symptoms. The cause still remains, waiting to infect its next victim. "Remind them I won't always be here. Remind them to save themselves."
When that day comes, National City will never be the same. Every city with a guardian beckoned challengers to try their luck and dethrone the protector. With each successful defense, the next challenger is more than likely to be stronger than the last. A cycle of madness and destruction.
At least construction companies thrived in such environments.
He sighed. "They will come for that crest on your sleeve. They will come for you to get to him." She glanced over her shoulder. He looked at her masked face.
She touches her left shoulder. She taps the stylized 'S' twice. "Don't you think it's ironic that he doesn't know what this means? What it really means." She smiled. He could see the heart wrenching sadness hidden underneath. "He doesn't want to know. He's human in all intents and purposes. He wants to nothing on the world he was born on." Every time she suggests teaching him; he finds ways to end the conversation, to talk of other inconsequential things.
She wonders if he longed to know who he could have been. She wonders if knowing where she came from is worth the pain.
He leans back and stretched his legs on the balcony floor. "We are both the same."
"Yeah."
They were both orphans pushed to overcome tragedy and forced to pretend everything's okay. She was the alien with incredible powers too dangerous to be overly emotional for fear of hurting others. He was the genius heir to a fortune surrounded by greedy immoral excuses for human beings whom would take everything if he showed even the sliver of weakness.
She felt knot form in her stomach. "I already lost Alex. I don't want to lose you too." Her hand found its way onto the railing. She could feel the metal warping. She jerked back and hugged herself instead.
He stood up and joined her, leaning on an undamaged portion of the railing. She shot him an apologetic smile. He drew her into a hug and squeezed. "Have some faith. She'll come back to us."
She wished she could have believed him.
She sighed. "It's not like you to be so hopeful."
He took a deep breath. "And it's not like you to have so little faith." He said finally.
"She hates me. Wants nothing to do with the alien that killed her parents."
"No. That wasn't your fault-"
"I know what I did."
That night...
The smell of dinner sitting on the table. Eliza made pie for dessert. She loved pie.
Stop.
The analog clock marking the passing time. Tick tock.
The weatherman droning on in the background. A chance of snow over the weekend.
The absence of a heartbeat.
A broken plate. Aw, it's the one with the flowers on it.
Stop it.
A shoe. Eliza leaves her shoes in the foyer. Always. A foot.
Oh. Oh no... Jeremiah just... No, Alex can't be like them. An orph- no...NO!
Eliza was cold and blue. Humans aren't supposed to be that color.
Alex…
Oh Rao. She didn't know what to do. She had to get help. She needed Alex. Where's Ale-
"Kara!" She gasped for breath. Coughing, she sunk to her knees. Her hands were trembling. Her palms dug into her eyes, hoping to rub away the memories. Tears threatened to stream down her face "Kara...Kara stop. You're going to hurt yourself." He dropped his knees and cupped her face. His grey eyes were filled with worry. "One day, we'll be together again, the three of us. Just like we used to."
"You always say that but-" she voice cracked. But it's been so long. She hasn't come back.
Silence fell over them. Kara slowly calmed down. He didn't want her to leave, well aware of her bad habit of repressing everything.
She took a couple deep breaths and turned to him. He knew then, she wasn't going to stay. Her eyes were cool. Anything he'd say would be waved off. He had to let her go tonight.
He'll have to make sure Winn looks after her at work tomorrow. She straightened up. She gave him that bright fake smile. "See you soon Max."
"Kara, take care of yourself." He wished he didn't have to worry this much.
"I know." She jumped up and flew into the sky, unnoticed.
Max walked back into his office and fell into his chair. He leaned back and ran his fingers through his hair. He booted up his computer. He navigated his way through file after file until he got to his destination. It was of Alex, Kara, and himself in front of Midvale's shoreline. Alex was smiling, holding on to a surf board. Kara beaming at her elder sister with a trophy in hand. Himself, beardless, with his characteristic smirk, looking at the camera. They were happy.
"Alex," he wondered aloud. "What the hell are you doing?"
