"I don't want a thing to do with this place. Or any of you people. Ever."

His words played over and over in her head like a broken record. He was gone and it was all her fault. She'd felt nothing but empty since the day he left. Because she'd betrayed him. She tried not to linger on the his possible location at present as her mind had a habit of settling on the worst case scenario, but she couldn't seem to focus on anything else. For all she knew, he was lying in a ditch somewhere, werewolves feasting on his flesh. Just yesterday, lighting the fire, a task usually completed with the use of a simple fireball spell, had ended with the curtains up in flames. Even that she hadn't been able to focus on. She'd sat amongst the blaze, emotionless. If it hadn't been for Leliana's timely rescue, she'd probably be dead. A fate she deemed not completely inappropriate for herself. For him, however...

It was always going to be her that slayed The Archdemon; she'd known that since she'd been recruited. It just would've been nice to have him there instead of that idiot Loghain. She'd specifically told Morrigan that she was not going to persuade Loghain to sleep with her because he deserved to die. But the bitch had gone behind her back and done it anyway. Perhaps it was Loghain's selfish doing, but there was no way of knowing; both he and Morrigan had gone separate ways after the battle and Solona was grateful she never had to look at either one of them again.

He wasn't there when she'd slayed The Mother either. She'd met a man during the expedition who reminded her of him and kept him close at all times. He'd been there. But he wasn't Alistair. She'd denied him so many opportunities by sparing the man responsible for the death of his brother. She constantly asked herself why she'd done it and discovered no answer each time.

Yet, no matter where she went, Leliana was at her side. The battle against The Archdemon; the slaying of The Mother; and even now. She was grateful to have a friend as loyal as her, everyone else had gone their own ways after the Blight ended, but Leliana refused to leave her to wallow in her sorrows, which had been present since he'd left almost a year ago.

She sighed and tried to collect her scattered thoughts without success. She rolled over in her bed to face the wall; one of the few things she felt wasn't judging her for her mistake. But even walls knew more than they let on. Up until now, she'd been unable to exhibit much emotion. If she didn't know better, she could've convinced herself she had been made Tranquil. But her pillow was soon wet with grief as her tears overwhelmed her and a hoard of angst spilled from her in the quietest release. She became aware of a kind hand on her cheek, wiping away her tears and stroking her long black hair from her face.

"There's someone here to see you." The redheaded woman informed her, the soft Orlesian accent soothing her. "There's no rush. Take your time."

After the mage had pulled herself together as best she could, she headed into the main room to find Leliana accompanied by a man who stood as she entered.

"Solona." He said, kindly. "How are you?" He held his arms wide, inviting her in.

"Top of the world, Teagan." She answered, sarcastically, avoiding his gesture and sitting down on the settee.

"Right." He laughed awkwardly. "Stupid thing to ask." He put his fingers to his temples and sighed. Their relationship had become strong since... since that day. Whenever Leliana stepped out to run an errand, she'd always found Teagan in her place, watching over her. She remembered first meeting him in Redcliffe; he'd instantly taken to his nephew's love interest and she'd found herself enjoying the approval. But now, she felt more distant from him than ever. But he was still there... for her. If she were presently in his position, and he in hers, she couldn't say she'd demonstrate the same level of care. Not after what she'd done.

Teagan joined her on the settee and held her hands in his.

"I'm thinking of leaving Ferelden for a while." Solona didn't know what to say, and remained silent until Teagan continued. "I think it'll do me a bit of good, you know? I was planning on heading into the Free Marches. Maybe go to Kirkwall. See the city."

"Why are you telling me this, Teagan?" She replied, exasperated. She didn't know why his revelation had angered her, but something about it did.

"I, um... thought it would be rude to leave without saying something." Solona could feel the anger boiling up inside of her and tried to control it to no avail.

"What?" she screamed. "So, you're just leaving?" She stood up and moved to take a step closer to the man but soon felt hands on her shoulders, restraining her. Leliana. Sometimes she was grateful to have someone to control her anger for her as she often had trouble keeping hold of it herself, but in that moment, all she wanted to do was Stonefist Teagan for even considering leaving. She attempted to compose herself before continuing,

"I haven't spoken to my mother since I was ripped away from her and taken to that damn circle when I was six... You're the only family I've got. You can't just leave." She felt Leliana's grip loosen as she began to calm down. She walked towards the blackened fireplace and sighed. The room was silent for a while as Solona felt her tears welling up again. She span around to face the bard and their guest.

"You have to help me find him."

"Solona, I-" Leliana started, but a hand was held up to silence her.

"I know what you're going to say. "This isn't a good idea." Well, if I'd listened to you the last time you said that, we wouldn't be living here for a start." She watched as Leliana looked around the abandoned house, now embellished with their own belongings. "I have to find him. I have to know he's-" But she couldn't find the right word to finish. Leliana sensed this and interrupted the returning silence.

"I care for Alistair, I do, but Solona... you heard what he said." Her tone was soft; caring; sympathetic. She had heard. She still heard. And she would continue hearing until she knew where he was. Until she knew he was safe. She put her head in her hands and allowed tears to leak from her eyes as his words rang through her mind. Again.

"I'd love to help but I think Leliana is right. He made it quite clear he didn't want following." Teagan intervened.

"Fine!" Solona yelled, straining her vocal chords. "You go on ahead and get yourself out of this now. I'm doing this with or without your help." Teagan had risen from the settee but was standing a distance away that prevented her from strangling him. Not that there weren't other things she could do. "Go on, get out!" She pointed to the door and held her arm outstretched until Teagan did as she'd commanded. She watched the door shut behind him and fell to the floor, head in hands again and sobbed.

She had a plan.

She was going to find him. No matter what it took. She was going to find him if it killed her.

Leliana was asleep; the house was empty; the perfect time to escape. She collected her bag and packed it with only essentials; a little food, a change of robes, and a red rose. It was all she had left of him; she wasn't leaving it behind. She whistled to Ares who bounded up to her, faithful as ever. She grabbed her staff and the duo headed to the front door but as Solona turned the handle, she discovered it was locked. And the key was nowhere in sight. She scrounged around, looking for the device when she was startled by a voice from behind.

"Looking for something?" she whirled round and saw Leliana at the top of the stairs, a chain around her neck with a small metal article hanging from it.

"Open this door. Now." She said, sharply, eying the key."

"You haven't thought this through, Solona. If you wait until the morning, we can talk."

"I don't want to wait until the morning." She relied, mocking the bard's Orlesian accent. "What if he's in trouble? What if he needs my help?" her patience was quickly running out.

"I promise we'll talk in the morning." Leliana's voice was so calm, and her movements so graceful as she glided back to her room. Solona began hopelessly pounding on the large wooden door, tears escaping her eyes and sobs escaping her lips. He was out there. She knew it. She just had to find a way of getting to him.