Here is a short little story about my Rick that I wrote for Oct. 11th, National Coming Out Day.
Closets are for clothes.
I hope you enjoy. …although I'm not quite sure how to classify the genre.
Please review.
I do not own or claim to own CSI: Miami characters. This is fanmade and I make absolutely no profit off of this. I do this for my own amusement.
***
Common Ground
Rick and Yelina sat side by side in bed, not talking or even really looking at each other, despite their nudity. They both had a pretty intense blush going on, but for different reasons; Rick in embarrassment and Yelina in anger. Stetler wrung his hands in the sheets, not knowing exactly what to say but knowing that he had to apologize or something sooner or later. Actually, he was hoping that Yelina would start talking first.
Soon, his wish was granted.
"That was no accident," she said coldly.
"Believe me," Rick muttered, "it was".
"No, Rick. Accidents are flukes, mistakes in nature. They happen and we move on. That was the fifth time that you-"
"-What?! That never happened before… well… it did. But I mean that it had never happened like this before".
"I don't care when it happened or what we were doing! I know that there is something on your mind that is more than just a case to you, Rick!"
"You're right! There is!"
"Then tell me, damnit!"
"I… erm… umm…" Rick stammered, his eyes darting away, "You know what? I have nothing more to say about the issue".
With that, Rick lay down and pulled the sheets up to his chin, facing away from Yelina. He knew that he was pressing his luck, but perhaps if she could see how uncomfortable he was, she could let it go for the time being. They would talk about the issue in the morning.
"You can't run away from this, Rick," she said sharply, tugging on Rick's shoulder and turning him towards her, "We're discussing it NOW. You know what? Other couples don't have this problem. I don't know what's wrong with us, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not the one to blame here. You let yourself get distracted far too often, especially when we are in the middle of very personal and intimate moments. Now you say that it's your job that's bothering you, but I'm not quite so sure of that anymore. In short, I really only ask you one question: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SCREAM HORATIO'S NAME DURING SEX?!"
For those of you just tuning in, you heard her right. While in the throws of intense passion, Rick's mouth was working a bit faster than his brain could operate (nothing new there). But what caught Yelina's attention was the sound of Horatio's name coming from her lover's lips in a scream of ecstasy.
Rick sighed and sat back up. He knew that his charade could only go on for so long before something would slip. It was time for him to be honest with her.
"Yelina," He said gently, "I want to tell you… but I don't know how. Just… just think about it: what reasons would I have for calling Horatio's name during sex?"
"Well… you could be distracted by one of your investigations concerning him…"
"What's the other reason why I would call out Horatio's name during sex?"
"Erm… because you two fight a lot and you let him get under your skin?"
"Guess again".
She sat there, puzzled. She was pretty positive that they would end up talking about a psychological issue Rick was dealing with and neglected to tell her about. It almost looked like he was OCD or had Tourette's Syndrome or something like that. But now she wasn't quite sure where he was going.
"Yelina," Rick sighed, taking her hand gently in his, "I'm gay".
She starred at him blankly for a few seconds, trying to figure out if she heard him correctly. Rick sighed deeply before he continued.
"And I've been fantasizing about Horatio".
"You WHAT?!"
Yelina glared at Rick with an emotion somewhere between confusion and anger. I call it "confunger".
"Well, I don't see what you're so upset about," Rick snapped at her, "it's not like I was the only one here who was doing that".
"With me it's different!" Yelina grumbled, crossing her arms.
"How is it so different?" Rick demanded.
"Because I can keep my mouth shut, Rick!"
"Oh".
"Jesu Christe! All those times you 'slipped' and said 'hello, Horatio', 'you look beautiful today, Horatio', 'I love you, Horatio'… every single time you were thinking about him in… in that kind of a sense?!"
"Yeah, but I'm not the one here who's all Jimmy-Stewart-'Vertigo'".
"What do you mean?"
"You tried to put me in the same Armani suits Horatio wears! You bought me his sunglasses! For Christ's sake, you tried to convince me to dye my hair red!"
"You'd look good with red hair"
"No I wouldn't, I'd look horrible with red hair. Anyone could see that".
"Not if you grow your hair out a little and part it to the right".
"See! You're doing it again. It doesn't matter how red my hair is or how many suits I have, I'm not going to turn into Horatio!"
"And you calling me by his name doesn't change anything either!"
The two of them sat there pouting for a while before Yelina spoke up again.
"Why did you start going out with me if you're gay, anyways?"
"I was afraid that people were getting suspicious of me. I can't have IAB knowing my sexual orientation. I don't know how they'll take it. So I decided that I should be better safe than sorry".
"But why me?"
"Because I thought that if we were dating I would be able to get to know Horatio in his off-hours. I clearly overestimated the amount of time he spends over here".
Yelina scoffed, feeling quite used at the moment, "And I suppose that in your mind the best-case-scenario of one of his visits ends up with you two on this bed".
"Yes, same fantasy as yours".
"I can't believe this".
"Believe it".
Yelina climbed out of bed and pulled on her robe, leaving Rick to lie there all by himself. She sighed as she leaned against the wardrobe in thought.
"What are we going to do?"
"Invite Horatio over to join us in here? That'll kill two birds with one stone. Sure, he'll be a little uneasy at first. But I'm sure that between the two of us he can become a pretty damn good-"
"-I'm serious, Rick".
"You think I'm joking?"
"I mean about us; what are we going to do about us? Are we going to drop it now or keep up appearances?"
"We keep up appearances, but only at work. I'm not sure for how long… most office relationships last another month at least. Well… here they do".
"What about Ray Jr.?"
"What about him?"
"Well… he's bound to notice that you're not around much anymore".
"I don't think that he'll come to the conclusion that I'm gay for his uncle".
"Oh God. Don't use that phrase".
"What? It's accurate".
"Just don't. It kinda creeps me out".
"Fine. Whatever," Rick grumbled, "I'll cater to your insecurities".
"I'll choose to ignore that," She snapped, "Don't worry, I'll figure out something to tell him. But for right now, just put your clothes back on".
Rick climbed out of bed and pulled his boxers and slacks back on as Yelina grabbed her clothes off the floor and went into the master bath to change. She wasn't exactly comfortable being nude in front of him anymore, even though he was gay.
He looked around the bedroom for the last time as he slid his belt back through the loops. Something on the dresser caught his eye; he went over to investigate it. It was a picture frame, laid face down onto the wood finish. He lifted it up and soon understood why. It was a photograph of Yelina and Raymond's wedding. They looked so young and playful, looking out of the picture with their arms around each other. It would have been a little unnerving for either of them to get into bed with that photo looking back at them.
Rick placed the picture back where he found it, catching a view of his reflection in the mirror across the room as he did so. He couldn't really understand what was going on inside Yelina's head. In Rick's own personal opinion, he looked a lot more like Raymond then he did Horatio. In fact, all Yelina would have to request for him to do was to cover up the mole under his right eye; then he would be the spitting image of her late husband. Maybe she wished that Raymond was more like Horatio. Maybe she wished that Raymond was Horatio. Perhaps she did those things to him when he was alive. Rick couldn't be sure. But her behavior was indicative of some sort of mental condition. Perhaps it was Borderline Personality Disorder with just a hint of Schizophrenia. Rick wasn't sure. He would have to go home to his DSM IV to check it out.
He finished buttoning up his shirt as Yelina walked out of the bathroom and motioned him to follow her downstairs. He did, still wondering what she was trying to accomplish.
"Why can't you just come out to your department, again?" She asked, stepping into the kitchen and making a pot of coffee.
"Because," Rick sighed, "I don't know if they'll take the news well or not. IAB isn't like the Police Department or the crime lab. We aren't very touchy-feely and pretty much keep to ourselves. We don't need to talk to already know each other's business. We can't help it. It's our job to know what's going on".
"What's your point?"
"My point is that they could be perfectly fine with it or completely hate me for it. For all I know, IAB might be full of ignorant bastards who, if they find out I'm gay, would make it their personal objective to undermine me. Given, that's a little extreme; but I'm not one to take risks".
"Can I tell my friends in the Police Department?"
"What?!" Rick gasped, "No!"
"I'm just wondering what to say when they ask me how my weekend went".
"You lie," Rick suggested, "or talk about something else".
"Because right now," She continued, choosing to ignore him, "I think I'll say 'Oh… it was okay. Except Saturday night when I found out that my boyfriend is FUCKING GAY!!'"
Rick stood there blinking a few times. He was definitely caught off guard on that one. She seemed to be taking the news pretty well up until now.
"'And you wanna know how I found out'?" She continued, "'Because he screamed my bother-in-law's name as he was fucking me!'"
"No!" Rick shouted, quite glad that Ray Jr. was sleeping over at a friend's house at the moment.
In all honesty, he didn't care if the whole world knew that he was in love with Horatio. He just was afraid of letting Horatio know. And for him to hear the news via rumor... Rick just didn't want to think about it.
"'And now we're thinking about breaking up. Because our relationship has a bit of a damper on it now that I've found out that he is a FAGGOT!'"
The word cut through Rick's soul like a dagger. This no longer had anything to do with him… or Horatio… or Raymond. This just had everything to do with him being gay. He went through hell and back just trying to be what he is supposed to be… just coming out to his family. His uncle still refused to speak with him. And now he was supposed to take this crap from her?! That's fucking ridiculous. She had no idea what it's like to be so judged, so ridiculed. She had never been disowned.
The hurt quickly boiled into rage. His hands had balled into fits, tightening until he could feel his joints creak in protest. His light brown eyes darkened to black in anger. His self-control was slipping fast.
"You bitch," he growled, trying to keep himself from going off the deep end.
"Pardon?" she hummed, looking up at him from her coffee.
"YOU BITCH!" he shouted.
Without thinking, he tore the coffee cup from her hands and threw it across the kitchen; hearing it smash against the opposite wall. He drew back his clenching fist and slammed it into her left eye. He smirked to himself as he heard her cry out in pain.
Then, as quickly as it came, the fury passed. Rick blinked a few times, not quite sure what had just happened. He looked down at his fist, his knuckles busted open. Then he looked down at Yelina, sobbing quietly with her hands over her face as she tried to regain her breath and pull herself together.
Oh God, Rick thought to himself, What did I just do?
Without a word, Rick pulled open the freezer and took out an ice pack. He wrapped the ice pack in a thin towel before he approached Yelina. Kneeling down beside her, he gently coaxed her hands away from her face so he could hand the ice to her. She gratefully took it, but refused to look at him.
Rick sat down on the floor, his back against the refrigerator. He waited for Yelina to pull herself together before he spoke.
"I think we both over-reacted," he said softly.
She nodded in agreement, leaning against the counters on the other side of the kitchen.
"I'm sorry for calling you a faggot," she whispered, her voice still a little strained for lack of breath.
"And I'm sorry for flying off the handle back there. I didn't mean to hurt you… I'm not quite sure what I meant, come to think of it".
The two of them sat in silence and thought for a few minutes.
"I'm sorry about the cup too," Rick murmured, pointing at the broken shards of coffee cup and the puddle of coffee across the room.
"That's okay," Yelina sighed, "I never really liked that cup anyways".
They weakly smiled at one another. Rick stood up and walked across the room, helping Yelina to her feet.
"I won't tell anyone at work what happened here," she told Rick.
"That's not necessary, but greatly appreciated," he nodded, "do you need anything for your eye?"
"No, but thank you. I think I'll just take some aspirin".
"You're not supposed to take aspirin for a black eye. It just makes it worse".
"How do you know that?"
"Experience," he answered, but didn't want to say anything more about it.
He picked up the broken cup for her and mopped up the coffee. He still wasn't quite sure if she apologized because she was really sorry, or if she was afraid of him. As long as she didn't tell anyone at the office what happened, he guessed that he'd be alright.
"I guess I should probably get going," he said as he dried off the floor.
Yelina nodded in agreement.
"I'll see you around the office, okay?" Rick said gently, "we'll talk about what will happen later".
She nodded again.
Rick bit his lip nervously as he walked out her front door and up to his car. He feared that perhaps next time they are alone together she might not be so generous.
FIN
