Intransigence
By Any Unborn Child
"How tragic it is;
After the death of someone close,
The person enduring is forced to
Smile on their accord, just
For the sake of everyone else.
Deep down their heart still
Grieves and mourns; yet they
Supposedly keep the façade up
For the intention of not letting
Anyone interfere with the
Sorrow in their subconscious minds." – Me
Two songs, both 3 minutes and something seconds, and she hadn't written anything. The blank canvas of a page stared at her while she sung along to the hauntingly beautiful words that the singer spoke, filling her mind with a sense of nostalgia, a longing for the past when everything seemed to be in shadows. The school year had ended, and all of her friends (or "acquaintances", her mom liked to call them) had their plans on how to spend the summer, while she in turn had nothing---nothing but the grief of a forgotten past.
Her mom were caught up in her job as a doctor across the city, and she didn't have any siblings to either annoy or cherish, so… Yes, it appeared that she was alone in the world. She couldn't help it though; according to her immediate family and a prestigious therapist, she had something known as The Hedgehog's Dilemma, or in simpler terms, she didn't get too close to anyone in fear of getting hurt. While it wasn't an official mental instability problem, it was a start.
As for those "acquaintances", well…there were only two people that she really knew at school. Tsukino Usagi was one of them, a slightly ditzy but affectionate and expressive girl. While Ami did get a bit annoyed about the latter's lingering daydreams and fantasies (explained by drifting in and out of class), Usagi did manage to have a good sense of humor and was fun to be around.
But this made her wonder, why would Usagi be one of her friends in the first place? Was it out of pity or boredom? Or was it because she truly wanted to be Ami's friend? This question popped up from time to time, sometimes sixteen times in the same day.
Then there was Aino Minako; hailing from London, England, she moved because her parents passed away when she was little, and the relatives she was forced to live with had too much control in her life, so she wanted to start fresh in the humble abode of Tokyo. Personality-wise, Minako had a mysterious aura surrounding her at all times, even when she was speaking her mind about something. It always seemed that while she was a loyal friend who didn't hold back, she appeared to have a heavy burden on her shoulder for some reason. Ami often asked if she was OK if she looked gloomy or sad, and Minako had always said that she was fine, complete with a bouncy and cheerful look on her face.
And both Usagi-chan and Minako-chan were away, leaving Ami to lie on her paisley bed with music at hand and an empty journal entry to accompany her. Oh, how she wished to leave reality for a while…it was too lonely, too loud, and too unforgiving for someone like her…everybody had an opinion about everything, which was OK, but if the opinion was too harsh, it only resulted in pain and judgment. And who needed that?
Owari
(The timeline for this oneshot is supposed to be before the adventures with the Sailor Senshi started, as a sort of look in Ami's perspective.)
Ciao mein!
