She knew at the time that she was making a big mistake. But all her anger and frustration that she was feeling had sunk to the surface and had clouded her judgment. Rachel Berry was so tired of not feeling good enough for Finn…so tired of just being that annoying, irritating girl in the Glee Club. And the vision of Santana's dark arms wrapped around Finn's waist was so indescribably painful that she couldn't even will it away as much as she wanted to. Rachel herself had wanted to be that dark haired girl, with her arms wrapped around Finn's waist, more importantly, to be his first and forever, always. Her small fists clenched in frustration.

Her moment with Puck had been a huge mistake. Puck would always be her Jew boy, they always had that in common. And to tell the truth, she was one of the only people who could really see the Noah behind the Puck. Of course, you couldn't knock a girl for noticing Puck's guns but to tell the truth he was like a much younger brother. It was Finn who made her world rock. And it was Finn who at this very moment wanted nothing to do with her. Drama had come calling and yes, she had earned some of that drama but he had promised her that he would never leave her. She had wanted so badly to believe in her fairy tale but his lie about Santana had tarnished the silver.

Rachel could not help but feel confused about her part in the mess. She didn't feel like she was the only man alone on that island. It would take time to figure out this mess. For the first time in a long time, Rachel wanted to sit back and contemplate her future and maybe in the process figure out what she needed. Just maybe, if she took some time out for herself, just maybe, Finn and her could reconnect. But, she knew that it was more important for her to reconnect with herself first.

She just was so tired of feeling all kinds of inadequate…so tired of not liking the image in the mirror…so tired of wanting to have blue eyes, blonde hair, in a cheerleader skirt. The sheer exhaustion of never feeling good enough about her status at McKinley was a full time job. It was time to have a heart to heart talk with Mrs. Pillsbury to get some ideas on how to bring Rachel Berry back.