Welcome to my first VA FanFic, so excited to be here, and most importantly, please forgive any inconsistencies, I'm a bit rusty as I haven't read the books in a while! I am re reading them, so it'll obviously get better as time permits. Please let me know what you think!
Also-Italics are dream sequences, with Adrian or without :)
There were times when the dark was soothing, actually most times the dark was soothing. But lately, I was terrified of it. Every sound was a threat to my life, every movement was a threat to my sanity, and every time a shadow flitted past I thought my heart would stop.
On those nights his hands would find their way around my waist, pulling me closer, whispering words of comfort. Only now there was no warmth and no comfort in his voice and the cold spread through me, gripping my heart in an immovable vice.
Tonight was one of those nights.
'Roza,' he whispered brushing his lips across my cheek.
Though I wanted to fight, to pull back and tell him to back off, I did nothing at all.
He pulled my body against his and slowly, sweetly, pierced the skin on my neck forcing a low moan from my lips.
'Stop,' I managed to breathe.
Much to my dismay, he did and he pulled back and looked at me with dark eyes.
His breath danced across my lips with a grin, 'you don't want me to stop.'
As weak as my body was I still managed to shake my head.
'Then why do you do this?' He asked me in a whisper, 'I thought we loved each other.'
'Because this isn't you,' I managed through grit teeth.
His eyes flared up and the red around them intensified before he pushed me away from him and stormed out of the room.
The distinct sound of the lock didn't come and I mustered up enough strength to turn my head toward the door.
Figures, he knows he's keeping me so weak that he doesn't even have to bother with the lock anymore.
I swallowed hard mourning the loss of the ecstasy he provided.
Even though it wasn't Dimitri anymore, he felt the same, his hands on my body were the same, but it was the look in his eyes which shattered me.
My eyes grew heavy and finally closed.
'You look like hell, Hathaway.'
I turned on my heel and spotted the source of the voice, 'Adrian,' I smirked.
'Miss me?' He asked stepping closer.
I shrugged, 'I guess so, you're not a complete loss.'
'Are you ok?' He asked his voice suddenly serious.
I shook my head.
'You need to try and work out where you are, Rose, we're looking for you, but we can't find you,' he explained stepping closer to me.
I realised then just how exhausted I was, 'I don't know,' I whispered.
'You need to try and remember something, anything that can help,' he took my face in his hands.
I felt all of the strength in my body slowly leaving.
'He's keeping you weak Rose, I can barely make it to you in your dreams,' he explained, slowly helping me down into the chair.
Suddenly I noticed that the usually vivid dreams Adrian had created and visited me in were nothing like this, this was dark, unfocussed and hazy.
'The strength of your mind keeps your dreams vivid, you're fading,' he explained gently.
Clearly he could read my mind, he was in my head.
I mentally chastised myself which he grinned at, although his grin held no conviction.
'Please, try to remember.'
My mind raced, trying to think of anything, any small detail.
'A loud, rushing river and wind through the trees,' I closed my eyes feeling the warmth of Adrian against me.
I leaned in to his hand and he pulled me closer.
'What does the outside of the building look like?' he whispered caressing my hair, 'think of the small details.'
My mind remained blank, save for the smallest detail, 'cobble stone, like a castle.'
'A castle by a river in the woods,' he spoke gently, 'good work Rose.'
'I don't think I'm going to make it,' I murmured feeling weaker by the second.
'You will, because you're you, you're strong, you know you are.'
I shook my head against his chest, 'not long enough for you to find me.'
'Don't talk like that, just stay focused.' He said firmly shaking me in his arms, 'he's keeping you weak for a reason, because he knows that you're a threat.'
His voice sounded miles away. He was leaving me, and the realisation that it was my mind fading terrified me.
'Fight, don't you dare give up Hathaway,' Adrian added with a hint of urgency in his voice.
If I could have reacted I'm sure I would have thrown my arms around him. So much confusion ran through my veins.
Dimitri was for me, my salvation, my equal, Adrian was someone I loved being with, but even undead Dimitri touched my heart more than living Adrian did.
'I know you love him and any hope to get him back lies with you, so stay alive,' he muttered before planting a kiss on my forehead.
In that moment I knew how much I had hurt him, despite all the love he had shown me and despite how much I know I could have loved him if Dimitri never came back, I couldn't. Dimitri was my life and I hated it.
'I'm going to find you little Dhampir,' his voice softened, 'just promise me you won't stop fighting,' he added before letting the dream fade to dark before I could lie about my promise.
I found myself feeling stronger than yesterday but nowhere near where I needed to be, to be able to save my arse.
'I am sorry that you're not enjoying your stay, as much as I am,' Dimitri spoke quietly.
He sat directly opposite me with a smile that did not belong to this Dimitri, in a setting which definitely didn't belong.
I had nothing.
We were surrounded by trees and somewhere in the distance the sun broke through and the echo of the river resonated through the stillness.
The house behind us resembled St Vladimir's in the architectural sense, but in every other way it looked like it came straight out of some Russian fairy tale.
He looked around probably sensing my confusion about actually being allowed outdoors, then he looked back at me, 'I won't let you walk away from here.' He said with a smile.
I swallowed hard.
'They're looking for you, but they'll never get to you here.' He explained.
'So you'd watch me die?' I asked, hoping that I was getting some footing in this argument, 'I thought you loved me?'
He smirked and got up from his seat, 'I do love you, that's why I'm not letting you go.'
My heart sunk, he was right. We were surrounded by more than a hundred Strigoi, including him, the God. What hope in hell did they, a group of barely better than Novices and a few guardians have of getting me out alive.
'Don't make me hurt you, Roza, come to me willingly.' He pleaded, or whatever this resembled.
'You're already hurting me, comrade,' my lip unwillingly twitched into a smile, a remembered gesture.
I'm not sure if it was my imagination, or whether that statement actually did something to him, but for a split second I thought I saw the redness in his eyes soften.
Just as quickly as I saw it he had turned away and all the evil was back.
'It's getting dark, time to go inside.' He muttered angrily getting to his feet and pulling my arm, roughly dragging me behind him.
We walked in silence together until we reached my room.
'Why haven't you done it yet?' I asked before he had a chance to walk away silently.
He narrowed his eyes at me. 'Done what?'
'Made me like you?' I asked stepping forward, 'you must have a reason?'
He took a step closer to me.
His eyes were as cold as ever, but his smile reminded me of the old Dimitri.
My breath hitched in my chest as he moved closer and closer to me until all the space between us was gone, his hand fell on my hip pulling me closer while he ran his other hand through my hair.
'Do you want to be like me?' He asked softly.
My heart raced as broken breaths escaped my lips.
'Because I can do that Roza,' he murmured tracing soft kisses along my jawline.
I closed my eyes instinctively leaning in to him.
He pulled my hair over my shoulder and continued leaving kisses on my neck.
'Stop.' I barely managed; obviously sounding conflicted in my own reasoning.
'Do you really want me to stop?' He whispered back brushing his teeth along the delicate skin on my neck.
The euphoria from the last bite still pulsed through my veins, begging him for that release again, and my stupid brain refused to keep up.
'Because I know you don't.' He added finally sinking his teeth into my neck.
I gasped so loudly I nearly made myself pass out.
His fierceness burned through me as the pain dissipated and turned into pure bliss, my weakened state became ever more so as my knees buckled and I felt myself fall into him, I felt myself giving into the darkness.
His strong arms held me against his body while he walked us over to my bed and laid me down.
My mind raced, 'no,' I whimpered as he pressed his body against mine still taking my blood into his mouth.
'Don't,' I murmured, 'please.'
Finally he pulled back and I immediately regretted it.
His lips left a burning desire for more, while my body shivered from being up against him for so long; it craved warmth while I craved his touch.
'I wouldn't do that to you, Roza, you mean more to me than that.' He added before planting a soft kiss on my cheek.
And once more my body yearned for him as he left me.
Adrian was right, he was keeping me weak for a reason, but he wasn't turning me. Maybe I was getting through to him; then again, maybe he was biding his time.
Either way, I was exhausted, and my days were getting shorter and shorter and my strength was depleting fast.
Hopefully Adrian had some good news for me.
I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come and with it, hope.
Thank you for joining me! See you soon!
