I grabbed my sword from its spot on the wall, my grip firm as I placed my hand around the hilt. Even though the blade was hiding within its sheath, I could still see the glinting iron, watching it slip into the skin and covered in blood. Watching as enemies dropped to the ground, lifeless, and poisoning the ground with their crimson blood. I could smell the odor even now, when I am nowhere near the battlefield. Yet I hear the victims' screams as if I am still there, listening but not seeing. I gave a huge sigh as I strapped the sheath to my belt and made my way to the door.
I would soon leave everything, and everyone. I more than likely would not return to this house, at least not alive. I won't see anyone's smile- Lily's, Basch's, Roderich's, Elizaveta's. Aristocrat certainly won't miss me, or his housemaid, or anyone else. Maybe because I'm too awesome? Nein, how could anyone not miss my awesomeness?
My hand hovered over the handle, thinking if I could just run away, take Ludwig and run. We would run and never return. Through the borders, through the counties, anywhere other than here. We would reach somewhere where we could live peacefully and where he would grow up without violence. Somewhere, someplace. I'm sure that there is a place like that. Ludwig…
I glanced over at Ludwig sleeping on the floor, among his toys and books. My precious little brother. So young, he most likely his older brother. After all, our father had abandoned us, put us in some strange place with strange adults, and yet he doesn't remember him. Even I, at times, forget that we even had a father, and mother.
I sighed again and walked over the sleeping Ludwig. I carefully picked him up, moving his toys out of the way in the process, and shuffled to my bedroom. I placed him in my bed, putting my blanket over him when I was sure he was in a comfortable position. I sat next to Ludwig and began to stroke his neatly cut hair with my white gloved hand. For a while, all I listened to was the steady breath of my brother, savoring these last moments with him.
"Brother," Ludwig mumbled drowsily.
"Doch?" I whispered.
"Are you going somewhere?"
"Yes," I smiled slightly. "A very long, dangerous journey."
"With monsters and giant squid?"
"Doch, and giants as tall as mountains!" Ludwig smiled sleepily, then yawned.
There was a long pause with a silence that felt like it took forever until Ludwig asked, "Can you promise me something?"
"Anything," I said a little bit faster than I had intended. Was I so desperate to hear my brother's voice one last time?
"Come back safely, Big Brother," he smiled brightly as he drifted back to sleep. I sat there in silence, smiling back at him even though he couldn't see me through his dreams.
"I promise," I said softly as I got up and headed for the door. I stopped, taking off my cross which one of the teachers had given me at that strange place, and placed it on the night table by the bed. "Darf ich für immer in deinen Träumen sein, bis ich zurückkomme*." I whispered as my hand left the iron cross. Then I exited the room, and went outside into the dark night.
The moon was dark, a new moon, and the stars burned brightly. The wind was warm, the air chilly. The dirt crunched underneath my boots, my white hair falling into my eyes as the wind blew. Soon, I would see grey faces, blood as red as my eyes, and piles of bodies. Every step I took was a step closer to my death.
Without looking back, I marched to war.
