Gag

By Nanaho-Hime

For thelightningstrike

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter


You are happy for your best friend. You really are, especially when he smiles and fidgets and stares out of windows dreamily, especially when he goes on about happy he is and how much, how much he loves her. You are happy for him, because there is no reason not to be.

And then you see her trying to catch your eye and you're not so happy anymore. Because your head and your heart are screaming 'I loved her first.' Because Mrs. Lily Evans Black sounds so much better than Mrs. Lily Evans Potter, and she knows this and you know this, but you don't say a word.

You are happy for your best friend. You are happy because there is no reason not to be.

She is beautiful in her white wedding gown, and she takes you aside a day before the wedding and says you are brave to come. You laugh it off, laugh her off because you're afraid you'll chicken out or go mad and try and take her for yourself. It is bittersweet, watching how happy he is with her by his side. He will never know how you loved her first.

She looks hurt and confused and desperate, but you are hurt and confused and desperate and you have made your choice and she has made hers.

You are happy for your best friend. You are happy because there is no reason not to be.

You love Harry, because he is a combination of the two people you love most in the world. It is cruel irony, that you are his godfather when you should have been his real father, but you shrug it off and laugh with the toddler. You hate how Lily looks at you, with her strange, green eyes, telling you what you already know.

He should have been yours.

You are happy for your best friend. You are happy because there is no reason not to be.

Everyone loves her. Snape, James, Remus. You laugh because you cannot be tied down, because you will not be tied down, but mostly because you'll give the only girl who can tie you down to your best friend. Because you love him and you love her and it's all terribly confusing.

She dies, she is killed, and everyone thinks you cry for James and you let them believe that. You miss Lily more. You love them both...you miss them both.

You are happy for your best friend.

Because it's all a gag in the end.


A/N: I should really be focusing on my challenges and contests, but I can't resist the drabble request thread. Hope you like it.

Reviews are love :)