White Flag
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
Or tell you that
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?
--
She was back in Tokyo; and back for good this time. As much fun as America had been, despite all the new friends she was sure to have made, there was no place like home. He, personally, thought it was great – the old team back together again at last.
Yet, he couldn't help but notice how out of place she looked sat alone on the swings. Her hair was no longer pink; it was exactly the same as the day they'd met, a glossy chestnut in colouration, only a little shorter, just reaching her shoulders. Her handsome dark eyes, of the same chestnut, were fixed on the ground, her lips pressed into a hard line, her head lolling against the swings chain.
She had missed a lot.
They tried to act as natural as possible around her, for comforts sake, but it was clear to see that they had grown apart slightly – the ease that came with childhood was beginning to fade away. The changes in their group were especially obvious at the moment, with Sora ad Matt dating.
He heard her give a soft sigh, a sweetly melancholy sound.
He deliberated for a moment, then approached her; all the while rubbing the back of his head, fingers playing with the soft, fluffy hair at the nape of his neck. She looked up at the sound of his footsteps. Her eyes lit up a little. "Hey, Taichi."
"Hey. Is that swing taken?"
She shook her head. The old, slightly rusty chain groaned under his weight. He offered her a smile and she returned it, but it was flat, it didn't reach her eyes.
"So, Mimi, how you been?" He asked, giving his best attempt at cheerfulness – but he had been feeling anything but lately. Subconsciously his dark eyes turned over to Sora and Matt holding hands and talking, leaning in close to each other.
"Tai, do you ever feel like you've been left behind?" Good old Mimi, straight to the point. She, too, had her eyes fixed on the new happy couple. The other Digidestined talked loudly a little way off; he could clearly hear Davis' voice above the others. That kid had some mouth on him.
" A little, I guess."
Mimi hung her head, locks of hair shielding her face from view. "I do. Everyone's grown so fast, sometimes I feel like I don't know who they are any more."
Tai chewed on his lip, not really knowing how to answer that statement – she was obviously in need of some comfort, else she wouldn't of opened her heart like that. "You've grown up a lot too, Mimi." Wow, lame. But, then again, it was true; now she was a far cry from the ditzy and selfish girl he had met at Summer camp all those years ago.
She sighed and when she finally looked up at him, Tai was alarmed to see tears in her large, honest eyes. " But you guys, you've grown together." He knew what she meant – the old Digidestined were still extremely close, he willingly admit that; but what Mimi didn't realize was that it was the same closeness that they had always shared.
Well, most of them.
His gaze again sought the couple, but he quickly lowered his eyes. It was still weird to watch them kiss. "We're all still the same Mimi. But some of us are closer than others." Tai was glad to say that he didn't sound bitter, not did h sound sad.
They had been going out for nearly four months; he had gotten over it now.
"What do you feel when you look at them?" Mimi's question took him by surprise. She, however, looked him steadily in the eyes. Of course she would of asked that; Tai could remember only to vividly that when they were twelve Mimi had had a crush on him, but he'd turned her down due to his attachment to Sora.
He'd felt so bad about it. It had been horrible to see her cry.
"I feel ... alone."
It was hard to admit, but it was true. All the others had something in their lives, something to keep them going – Sora and Matt had each other; Joe had his medical studies; Izzy had his computer programming and other technical things, all of which sounded complicated.
He had nothing. Not even soccer, thanks to a back injury – it was nothing, but his mother would worry.
"I feel the same." Mimi's voice was so low that he could barely hear her.
A cool night breeze swayed the branches of the looming trees and lightly blew the tresses of her soft hair. Tai stared at her, bemused. What could she possibly mean by that? She hadn't seen them in years, not properly anyway. How could she possibly be affected?
Mimi, almost as if he had spoken his inquires aloud, answered these questions in a few simple sentences. "Matt had been ringing me in New York a lot. At one point I think it was almost once a day. I thought ... but I was wrong. And I'm glad."
She gave Tai a confident smile. "Sora is my best friend. I wish her happiness."
They swung in silence for a little while, the rusted chains squeaking almost in unison. The wind whispered through the trees again – he heard Yolei laughing at something Izzy had said.
"I've been good, by the way." Mimi said, finally answering his cautious first inquiry. "How've you been?"
"I've been good."
Tai had been struck by Mimi's words earlier. They had been so ... well, sincere. So honest. She really did wish her friend the best. And she obviously trusted him to have opened up to him like that – Mimi had always been the first to complain, but she'd rarely talked about what was going on in that secret heart of hers. She really deserved his reciprocation.
"Actually no, I haven't. But, trust me, I'm over it now."
In the darkness, Mimi reached out and took his and gave it a light squeeze. "I'm sorry." He squeezed back. "Don't be." He felt a little spark glimmer into existence within him. But then she'd dropped his hand and the sensation was gone, leaving behind a slightly empty feeling.
"I've missed you Tai." A light blush crept across her face, revealing that this confession was a mistake on her part, and all at once he was reminded of the twelve-year-old girl who had professed her love for him by a slip of the tongue. Judging by the pained expression on her face, something she was trying to hide behind her hair, she was thinking the exact same thing.
"I've missed you too, Meems."
They chatted a little while longer about the old times; there was no awkwardness between them and they talked with perfect easiness. Eventually, however, Kari came over and reminded him of the time – he'd promised his mother that he'd be back by nine so he'd have time to do his long delayed homework.
With a sigh that spoke all the sorrow of parting, he got to his feet. "So, I'll see you around."
"Yeah."
He hesitated. "Mimi?"
"Hmm?" She looked up at him with curiosity.
"Your hair looks really nice."
All his suspicions were further backed up in the blush and her timid 'thank you'. He turned away with a glimmer of hope burning inside of him. Perhaps she loved him yet.
And when we meet, which I'm sure we will
All that was there will be there still
I'll let it pass and hold my tongue
And you will think that I've moved on
--
There was a light knock on her bedroom door. Mimi, dressed simply in the long, baggy t-shirt she used for nightwear, was lain on her stomach on her pink carpet. A photo album lay open before her, memories pouring out of the pages – here was Matt and little TK, wow how that kid had grown; here was Sora posing with her soccer ball; here she was with Tai, his arm draped over her shoulders – they all looked so young, so childish.
So much had changed in four years.
She quickly closed the book. "Come in!"
Her mother poked her head around the door, a large smile brightening her thin face. "Mimi, honey, a boy called Tai is on the phone for you."
Mimi's stomach did a back flip. This was a dream, right? She wordlessly followed her mother out into the hallway, expecting at any moment to wake up.
After a little hesitation she pressed the cold receiver to her ear. "Hello?" She was only too aware of her mother standing over her, listening to every word her daughter was saying. Mimi's palms began to sweat.
"Hey Mimi. How're things?"
"Good. You?"
"Good."
There was a pause. Tai cleared his throat down the receiver.
"Listen, Mimi, everyone's going to see Matt's band play on Friday. Up for it?"
Mimi smiled to herself; at least this way she'd get to see the legendary 'The Wolves'. She'd heard so much about them every time she'd come over to Japan, her non-Digidestined friends couldn't, it seemed, talk of anything else. And she'd get to spent a little bit of time with Sora seeing she wouldn't be glued to her boyfriend.
"Sounds great. I'll be there."
Another pause. She heard him swallow.
"And, I was thinking, perhaps we could something after, or something?"
Her breath caught in her throat. Her heart skipped several beats. "Like ... what?"
"Get something to eat? I mean, only if you want to, because I'll completely understand-"
"I'd love to, Tai." The answer came immediately from her lips. No second thought necessary.
"You will?" He sounded so relieved. Adorable. "So I'll, uh, I'll see you on Friday?"
"Yeah, at six?"
"Six. Yeah. Friday. So, yeah, uh, bye."
"Bye." She hung up, face glowing with triumph. She needed a moment for it to sink in. She was going on a date with Taichi Kamiya. The same Taichi Kamiya she's fallen in love with when she was twelve. The same Taichi Kamiya she's always been afraid to call. The same Taichi Kamiya whom she'd thought about every day in America.
"Well?"
Mimi turned to her expectant mother and gave her a thumbs up. Her mother hugged her, squealing. Mimi buried her face in her mother's shoulder, doing the same. The pair, so similar in looks and attitude, began to jump in unison, celebrating.
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
