Disclaimer, do not own the characters or this song.


They ran up to her as soon as she hit the ground. They knew if they stared, it would cut her, but they couldn't help it. They didn't know what to do.

Beast boy felt a lump in his throat as he looked on. She wasn't moving. Raven just lay on her hands and knees, wide eyed. It was more than her normal muted demeanor, it was as if she froze all her other assets just to keep her emotions in check.

I know that I have issues,

I face them

I swear

Minutes felt like hours as the group watched their surrogated little sister. Waiting for her to move. A million things raced through Beast boys mind. What if she never moved? What if that son of a bitch killed her and this whole time they were just staring at her body. Beast boy didn't dare touch on that subject again. All he wanted to do was reach out to her, but he couldn't move.

I think I overcome them

and turn

they're still there!

Slowly and suddenly Raven straightened. Beast boy held down his rage. Raven was dead. the bastard killed her. She may have been standing and breathing, but her beautiful amethyst eyes were a void. She wavered slightly. Robin jumped foreword and Starfire gave a tiny scream. Beast boy wanted to do something but couldn't. Raven took a shaky step towards Beast boy. Images of her wrapping her arms around him and letting down her guard as he consoled her flashed through his head. He was brought back when he realized she was stepping towards Cyborg.

Cyborg put one metal arm around Raven and slowly led her away. Starfire, Robin and Beast boy watched the two go, hardly aware the last working light bulb on the roof popped.

Entering the hall, Cyborg took one look at his little sister. She was clutching the book to her chest like a lifeline. Cyborg tentatively reached for it when the over head lights burst. Raven ran as fast as she could down the hall as more burst behind her as soon as Cyborg let go. She ran into her room and locked the door.

She broke.

I wish that I was different

I want to let go

But when I try to change

its my past saying no

Raven slid down the wall and started sobbing hysterically into the pages of the book.

"I loved you." she whispered.

Stuff started to swirl around her. She hated the feeling, everything breaking around her. No control. It felt like she was dying. Malchior taught her how to live without constant vigilance, but she couldn't keep it up without him. She hated needing him. in more way than one.

Everything he told her, that she was beautiful, not evil, not a freak. Spawn of the devil. But it wasn't true. No one thought of her like that.

Maybe its all cause of dad

his new kids

his new wife

Or I should just blame mom

who's been nuts my whole life

This is pointless she thought You are being ridiculous.

"Oh but you're not Rae Rae."

Raven looked up to see disgust sitting next to her. "You don't deserve to be in existence. We both know that this isn't the first time you have felt this. And it won't be the last. Hate follows you Raven. Malchior was smart to try and destroy you."

"She's right she's right!" cried timid, who appeared next to her. "We should just die! no one loves us!' She cried.

Raven just sat there breathing heavily as they screamed in her head, when one of the debris that were flying around slammed into Raven. She gasped as Timid and Disgust faded away. Raven through Malchiors book onto the floor and it slid a little way from her.

She at in silence. Just staring at it.

Alone.

When you've been alone

since the moment of birth

you struggle to find

Your true sense of worth

What the other teammates didn't know, or didn't care to find out is that how hard Raven saw things. Each comment, ugly stare. Hell each time she looks in a mirror depression followed her everywhere. She loved all of her teammates so much. So she always is afraid they don't love her. some more than others...

So she tried not to care.

And there is no one across this whole earth

to depend upon

you carry on

Just like you always do

cause its safer

oh its safer

to rely on you.


Its been three days. Raven has not come out of her room. Cyborg has on multiple occasions tried to bust down the door, only to come across an impenetrable wall of black energy. Everyday Starfire cleared plates from outside the door with the food still on them. Robin once contemplated hitting the alarm because he knew Raven would come out if she thought there was trouble.

Raven just sat in her room, staring at the book. Her emoticlones would sometimes come and taunt her. Sometimes her powers would go haywire and she would be beaten within a inch of her life by her possessions, but she sat there.

With a rumble, Raven felt her stomach shrjnk.

eleven days until I starve to death She thought. With a shaky step, Raven got up. Time to end this. She thought. Slowly she stepped toward the book. Picking up the book she held it to her chest. Carefully she placed it into a chest and closed the book. taking a step back, She wrapped her arms around her bruised arms to hold her self together.

*knock knock*

Raven froze.

"Raven. Its me"


Beast boy stood outside Ravens door. Robin hadn't wanted anyone to disturb Raven the first few times, but its been three days. Every night Beast boy would sleep outside Ravens door, to make sure she was alright. Sometimes there would be banging and Raven would yell out. Beast Boy would try to get into the room but he couldn't. And then there would be the horrible silences that would last for hours.

But he couldn't let her suffer anymore. He loved her. Not like a friend or sister, he LIKED her.

so there he was.

Seen a million movies all selling true love.

"I'm sorry." He said. Raven stood on the other side. She couldn't believe he was apologizing. He was hurting and it was her fault.

Its an ending I don't think that im worthy of

"For what." she could hardly squeak out. "You weren't the one who..."

"No." he cut her off. "I meant i'm sorry he broke your heart."

Raven was taken aback by this statement. Little did he know it was already broken a million times. Malchior was just giving her hope that it could be mended.

Caution to the wind

My hearts been on display.

But the end result

It has not gone my way.

"I know it was all a lie. But he was the only one who didn't make me feel...Creepy" Said Raven. She could sense Beast boy about to protest. "And don't try and tell me i'm not."

Beast boy felt sick, hearing his words repeated back to him. How he practically drove her into the arms of this Malchior because he hurt her. He sighed. "Ok, you're way creepy."

Raven took a step back into the darkness.

"But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room."

So when I go out

With a deadbeat or jerk

I'm not as crushed

when it all doesn't work!

"You think you're alone Raven. But you're not."

Raven didn't want to be alone. She was scared to be alone. Thats why she had Malchior. But maybe she had others.

The door opened with a hiss. Beast boy looked at her tear stained face and nearly choked. Then to his surprise she through her arms around him. He was so surprised that he pushed away.

As soon as he did it he regretted it. She needed him most and he shoved her away. And the look on her face killed him. It wasn't just her dead look. It was full on sorrow. He was about to pull her back to him when

"STANKBALL!"

A sock made volleyball struck Beast boy and knocked him down. Raven stared from him to cyborg than smirked, using her powers to levitate the ball.

"no Raven no no!" yelled Cyborg as the ball beat him down the hall.

Satisfied Raven Took another look at Beast boy. He got up and reached for her but she hurried back into her room.

"No no Raven!" yelled Beast boy as he clawed at the door. He had her! He almost had her! She was outside, in his arms and he blew it! Cyborg is soooooo getting tofu in his circuits!

Inside, Raven was curled up in a ball. It was too much for her. Beast boy was her first love and he thought her a freak too.

And when You where your heart on your sleeves

And all that you love choose to just turn and leave

It's harder and harder to some how believe.

Things started to break and fly around in her room. Raven felt pathetic feeling like this because of some boys, but she couldn't just keep control her whole life. It was all just leaking out. Beast boy was still trying to break down the door.

You will survive

so you strive

Just to keep up your guard!

Cause its safer

to hold every card

Oh its safer

to hold every card.

A large book swoop down and hit Raven in the side, flatening her to the ground. Raven got up and sat cross legged.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos." she began, trying to regain control.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

"Azarath Metrion Ow!" Another book plowed her down. Well that didn't help.

I'm out of control!

I feel safe on the ground.

Hearing her yell out, Beast boy realized that he was stupid. He just turned into a fly a flew under the door. Inside a whirl wind was going on with Raven in the middle. He started towards her when a drawer started flying towards him.

"Woah!"

Raven whipped around and stopped the drawer from hitting Beast boy.

"Good god Beast boy just get out." she moaned. The whirl wind started up again. "Dahmmit." she muttered.

"I said you aren't alone Raven." he said.

I'm building up walls!

Yet I want to be found

A true contradiction

To which I am bound!

"Beast boy I have to get control back. Please get out." she whispered.

I jus keep spinning around and around.

He just ducked another missile and kneeled by Raven, Who bundled herself up in her cloak. He put a hand on her shoulder. Her face peeked out for a second before burying back in.

And I look at the people who worked it all out.

And I wonder why i'm still a bundle of doubt.

Raven suddenly felt arms around her. Lifting her slightly off the floor and onto his knee. He started whispering in her ear. Raven Tried to pull away but he wasn't letting go this time.

Sometimes I just wanna stand up and shout

Just commit!

And deal with it

Before your life flys by!

Don't let your life fly by!

Careful not to drop Raven, Beast boy stood and laid her down in bed. the whirl wind hand stopped along time ago.

"You control your powers. Not Malchior." said Beast boy. Raven gave a sleepy nod. Beast boy pressed his lips to hers. Raven was barely aware of it.

But is it safer?

Maybe it's safer

If I don't try.


The next day, Raven woke up to a bunch of Cyborgs waffles.


Yeah not my best work but I just had to make a BBRae around this song! anyone reviews about the random capital letters i'll bean you on the head with a sledge hammer.