Okay, so I'm not going to write more than that if you guys don't like it. R & R and there may be more. Even if you flame, it just feels good to get reviews. Freija made it impossible for me to think as Ness as anything but a pothead, so go read hers, and then blame it on her, not me. So here you go, the saga of PANTSLESS MAN (who coincidently doesn't have a name besides that) Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Kiss my ass.
--------------------------------PANTSLESS MAN
Okay, so one day I'm shooting up on Easy Cheese when I realize that I ain't got no pants. The last time I could remember having them was chillin' with some guy Ness and a crazy night of WhipIts and Xtreme Cheetos. Good times, good times... and more importantly, panted times. I figured that was the best place to start, so I headed to Ness's.
As I approached Ness's house I heard the sound of a massive zipper, and I fell to the ground, unconscious. Dazed and confused, a few minutes later I awoke.
"Ahh.. sweet, sweet pavement. Now, what the hell am I doing out here?"
I looked up and saw Ness's house, so I figured I might as well go see him. Maybe he could fill me in.
I walked up to his house and knocked on the door. He answered, and eyed me suspiciously (Not that he could have done otherwise, his eyes were what were suspicious. I've never known a kid who could get as messed up as Ness, certified grade A pothead. The holes in all the window screens at his house made it look like a frequent drive-by victim, not that he could see them through such blazed out eyes.)
"Do I know you?" He inquired.
"I sure hope so... If you do perhaps you could fill me in." I responded.
"Wait... You do look pretty familiar. Didn't you have pants on last time I saw you?"
As he said this it all came rushing back to me; my pants were lost and I was working on the "found" part of the equation.
"Yeah, I did, you don't know what happened to them, do you?" He waited for a moment before answering,
"No, did ya lose them? Too bad, those were some awesome pants." Aha, so he'd liked them. I then put him on my official suspect list. Then, I noticed something that I couldn't believe I'd overlooked (I blamed it on my blood/Easy Cheese level), Ness wasn't donning any pants, either. This was getting strange...
"Where are your pants? Oh, hello, ma'am," I finished as Ness's mom walked in the room. "How are you?"
"I'm lovely.. it's a bit cold in here, isn't it dears?" She responded.
Not surprisingly, she was pantsless, also. Now, Mrs. Ness was aging nicely, but she had given birth to 3 children. Her pantslessness was rather unattractive, but more than that, it was creepy. Where had all the pants gone?
Disclaimer: Kiss my ass.
--------------------------------PANTSLESS MAN
Okay, so one day I'm shooting up on Easy Cheese when I realize that I ain't got no pants. The last time I could remember having them was chillin' with some guy Ness and a crazy night of WhipIts and Xtreme Cheetos. Good times, good times... and more importantly, panted times. I figured that was the best place to start, so I headed to Ness's.
As I approached Ness's house I heard the sound of a massive zipper, and I fell to the ground, unconscious. Dazed and confused, a few minutes later I awoke.
"Ahh.. sweet, sweet pavement. Now, what the hell am I doing out here?"
I looked up and saw Ness's house, so I figured I might as well go see him. Maybe he could fill me in.
I walked up to his house and knocked on the door. He answered, and eyed me suspiciously (Not that he could have done otherwise, his eyes were what were suspicious. I've never known a kid who could get as messed up as Ness, certified grade A pothead. The holes in all the window screens at his house made it look like a frequent drive-by victim, not that he could see them through such blazed out eyes.)
"Do I know you?" He inquired.
"I sure hope so... If you do perhaps you could fill me in." I responded.
"Wait... You do look pretty familiar. Didn't you have pants on last time I saw you?"
As he said this it all came rushing back to me; my pants were lost and I was working on the "found" part of the equation.
"Yeah, I did, you don't know what happened to them, do you?" He waited for a moment before answering,
"No, did ya lose them? Too bad, those were some awesome pants." Aha, so he'd liked them. I then put him on my official suspect list. Then, I noticed something that I couldn't believe I'd overlooked (I blamed it on my blood/Easy Cheese level), Ness wasn't donning any pants, either. This was getting strange...
"Where are your pants? Oh, hello, ma'am," I finished as Ness's mom walked in the room. "How are you?"
"I'm lovely.. it's a bit cold in here, isn't it dears?" She responded.
Not surprisingly, she was pantsless, also. Now, Mrs. Ness was aging nicely, but she had given birth to 3 children. Her pantslessness was rather unattractive, but more than that, it was creepy. Where had all the pants gone?
