White lips, pale face

Breathing in snowflakes

Burnt lungs, sour taste

- "The A Team" by Ed Sheeran


Tired. I was so tired. I tried. I tried so hard for everyone to be happy, that I forgot about myself. What was to become of me? Damon and Stefan's relationship is strained because of me. Just like Katherine. Maybe I'm more like Katherine then I thought. My mind was overwhelmed with all this witch-y, vampire-y, supernatural stuff. It's like the world is telling me that I'm permitted from having a normal life. All because of me, my friends don't have a normal life, even one of them turned into a vampire.

I thought hard about life. To live, my blood pumping through my veins for the purpose of being taken away to use for the creation of a new species. That's not life. The people that I live with. My brother, I tried so hard to keep him in the dark and out of the vampire world. Jenna, now she's dead. All because of me. Damon and Stefan, I loved them. I loved them with all my heart, but now it's time to let go. You just have to love hard and let go. Stefan seemed to be having a problem with that, but he also was coping now. Damon, well, being Damon he is in denial. Just like he was with Katherine. Klaus, he was the one that started all this chaos, his obsession with making hybrids. Kol, just there for the fun of it. Rebekah, oh, she hates my guts, but I would too. I somehow tore her family apart, just like I did with the Salvatore brothers, and my family. Bonnie, I don't know what to do with out you. You helped me Bonnie, and I'll help you by letting go.

I need to get away, I need freedom. The question is: where would I get it? That's why I'm standing on Wickery Bridge. I'm waiting for my friend to come, to give me what he promised. My freedom.

I've waited forever until this moment. Wickery Bridge use to give me nightmares. It was the place where I lost the first part of my life, the normal part. It was the place my parents left me, well I left them. Stefan saved me, which I'm grateful for, but I still wish I had my parents by my side. Maybe if I still had my parents I wouldn't be in this mess. My contemplating was interrupted by headlights that turned to face towards me. The car slowed to a stop, I walked up to the driver's side as the window started to roll down. I crossed my elbows and leaned them on the car door as Freddie, my newly acquainted friend asked me, "you really wanna fucking do this?"

I leaned in to the car a little more, "I'm sure I want to do this. I'm ready to get out of this fucking town." Freddie nodded at me. I went back to where I was standing and grabbed my suitcase and backpack, then loading them into Freddie's car. I got in on the passenger side of the car, hit by the aroma of weed. Relaxing my body in to the seat I looked over at Freddie and gave him a small smile before nodding my head. Together we took off for the night.


Sitting on the nicely made up bed with my legs crossed I watched Freddie move around the hotel room. When he looked back at me he started to grin. "What?" I asked. He stalked towards me, approaching the bed. When his knees hit the bed he was forced to crawl on it towards me. His lips reached mine as I started to lean back with him. Soon he was on top of me, pulling at my shirt. I wasn't in to Freddie romantically like I was with Stefan, but I didn't care. It was the release we both needed. Clothes were shed, and the foreplay was skipped. The force between us was nothing like Stefan and I ever had. The push and pull. We let ourselves pretend for each other, we let our bodies use each other for the desire that was yearned for. It was never meant to be romantic, no kissing, just mutual feelings.

Later that night melted wax and glass tubes sprawled across the table, white dust coated the table as powder sugar might have with a cake. I heard Freddie next to me, breathing steadily. We were both naked and resting comfortably on the bed. His right side of the face pressed into the side of the pillow his mouth slightly opened. I thought about life back in Mystic Falls. It hasn't even been a day since I left. I wondered about how Stefan would be worried, and how Damon would be pissed. I thought about Klaus. His face must be contorted into that of anger. Rebekah must be rejoicing, yet sad that she didn't kill me yet. I thought about Elijah, how I had drove a dagger through him, and lied to his face, yet somehow he still protected me. I continued to think hard about what I was doing. Freddie didn't know about the vampires. He would just assume that I'm still high and laugh at me. That was the only thing no one knew about, my deal with Freddie, and no one would find out. I knew it was wrong, to run away from the problem, but I couldn't help myself.

Getting out of bed, I slipped into Freddie's shirt. Walking over to the table I picked up my glass tube and re-lit a new candle. I prepped the glass tube, like Freddie had shown me a billion times before, then held it over the candle. I winced a little with the hot vapor going down my throat and into my lungs. I continued to breath in, as I felt my body began to relax, getting use to the heat.

Blowing out the candle and putting the glass tube in back on the table I went back to the bed. Laying down, then curling into Freddie's side I closed my eyes and fell into my never ending thoughts, into my personal limbo.

Freddie and I never talked about our pasts. We agreed that we didn't need to burden each other with the past. To start on a clean slate, and forget about the bad things that we've done or the been through. Secretly I want to know Freddie, but I'm content with what we have now. Sometime during or after my high I must have fallen asleep. I don't remember much but lying next to Freddie, next thing I know I'm waking up later, but alone.


I, personally, don't do drugs. I don't really know where I'm going with this, so there will be a lot of edits. Just bare with me. Anyways, I am going to try and skip over the feeling of drugs and what it is like. I am a slow poke and just started the second season of the Vampire Diaries. I am not a total fan, but I love the show. I know about the Originals and I have seen clips of later episodes on YouTube, enough to kind of guess what is happening. Thanks.

Lamiya.