Disclaimer: everything you recognize belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. Manga based but with a slight and important anime reference.
Mamoru Chiba sometimes wondered what it would be like to have a normal life.
Not that he was unhappy with what he had. He had a loving, if slightly unstable, girlfriend; a good friend and a promising coming career. It was just the small stuff that irked him. Like the fact that he was the reincarnated prince of Earth, and would soon have to take the throne again. Or the fact that he had died a couple of times in the past few years (and it never got easier).His social circle consisted of his girlfriend, a quiet genius, a temperamental beauty, a girly tomboy and a crazy ribbon lady.
And two talking cats.
He had encountered his fare share of the unusual and abnormal (two talking cats! Three when you factor in their future daughter). But this?
This was downright bizarre.
"Run this by me again," Mamoru said, making sure he continued breathing least the ridiculousness of this all suffocate him. "This is a life or death situation because...?"
Three men gave him identical disbelieving looks. "Because it is!" the blond said, blue eyes almost popping out of their sockets. "Mamoru, if we don't get this, it'd be blasphemy! I... I just don't know how we are going to adapt to the twentieth century!"
"Twenty-first century, Jadeite, we are in the twenty-first century," another said, eying Jadeite disdainfully, while twirling a piece of curly hair around his slender finger. Jadeite proceeded to ignore him.
"Honestly Mamoru, this is our gateway to understanding this twenty-first century," he threw a mocking glance at his companion. "If we are to properly adapt we must understand the way this new technology works."
"You know I don't say this often, Mamoru, but for once, Jadeite is right," the tallest man in the room said. His brown eyes eagerly –and silently- pleaded with his master. Mamoru took in a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling. These men were going to be the death of him, he just knew it.
"I see all of your points; Jadeite, Zoicite, Nephrite," he said giving each of the men (his generals? Long lost friends turned traitors turned stones come back to life?) a serious look. "I know how hard you have all been trying to adapt to this new lifestyle. But I cannot see how getting a video game is going to help you assimilate better."
All three began shouting at once.
"It's not just a video game!"
"You don't know how hard things can be!"
"It's a Mario Kart Wii!"
Mamoru rubbed his temple with his fingers, trying in vain to massage the incoming headache away as the three seemingly grown men continued to shout at each other. Days like this, he thought about reconsidering his decision to keep the Shitennou's return a secret from the senshi until exams were over.
oOo
"This is awesome!" Jadeite squealed, not noticing Zoicite snickering at him from behind. Even Kunzite couldn't help but break a small smile at the sight of his youngest protégée. Only Mamoru was aware that this damned trip to Wal-Mart was closer to his doom that any fight he had ever been in.
And this came from the man who had been reincarnated at least twice.
oOo
"Mamo-chaaaaaaaaaan!" Usagi's voice shrieked from the answering machine, "Why are you avoiding me? Are you planning on breaking up with me? Mamo-chaaa-"
"Please Kunzite, just turn that thing off," Mamoru said. Between his girlfriend's screams on the machine, Jadeite and Zoicite's constant bickering and Nephrites shouts of frustration – not the mention the noises of the stupid game – he couldn't concentrate.
Kunzite threw his prince an understanding glance and pressed stop. Mamoru gritted his teeth. With all this noise there was no way he'd ever finish medical school.
"Damn you, Jadeite," he muttered to himself, biting into a number two pencil.
oOo
"Why isn't he answering me? Ami-chan! Mako-chan! He can't want to break up with me, can he? What about Crystal Tokyo? What about Chibi-Usa! Minako-chan do something!" each of Usagi's cries made her friends cringe.
"Usagi-Chan, I am sure he is just busy. It is exam time, after all," Ami said in what she hoped would be a calm, soothing tone.
"But – but – he's never ignored me before!" Usagi wailed.
"Well, when you behave like that, I can hardly blame him " Rei, who was busy plucking her eyebrows, said throwing her princess an irritating look over her mirror. Usagi promptly avoided her.
"Mako-chan! I know something's happened! What if he got attacked by an enemy?"
"We'd know, Usagi, we've dealt with enemies before. Don't worry." Usagi rounded her guardian cat.
"Luna!"
"Don't even start, Usagi," the black cat said, stretching her front paws.
"Minako! He's hiding something from me! I just know it."
"Usagi, I have to side with Ami on this one. I'm sure he is just busy," Minako said with a big smile, patting the top of her princess' head.
Usagi glared at all of her friends, who were submerged in their studies (or beauty routines). They didn't get it, she just knew that he was hiding something. Mamoru would never ignore her like that. "Well then, I am going over to his place to find out!" she said, pouting and crossing her arms tight across her chest.
"Don't forget to close the door, Usagi!"
oOo
There was a loud knock on the door.
Kunzite put his book down on the small coffee table, walked around his three idiotic friends and grabbed the change that Mamoru had left on the table by the door, calculating how much he needed for the tip in his head.
He opened the door, expecting the pizza man, but encountered a petite blonde with the weirdest haircut he had ever seen. The girl look at him with angry eyes, and Kunzite felt his insides freeze. "Ehm, can I help you?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck. The blonde narrowed her eyes and looked intently on his face. Kunzite felt the sweat begin to pull on his forehead. If she noticed...
"Oi! Kunz bring the pizza over already! All this winning has me starved!" Jadeite's voice rang over the room. Kunzite made a mental noise to kick his butt at the first chance he got.
"Is Mamo-chan here?" the blonde said, hands on hip. Her eyes were still narrowed, but her voice wasn't nearly as fierce as he had expected.
"Um, yes, I suppose he is," he said feeling his discomfort switch to confusion. "Why don't you come in? I'll let him know you are here."
The blonde moved passed him without another glance. Kunzite let out a breath he didn't
know he had been holding. His fellow Shitenou were paralyzed, watching the quaint princess as she stood in the middle of the room. For a second no one moved; Jadeite didn't even notice Zoicite cheating.
Kunzite walked towards the room where Mamoru had barricaded himself unsuccessfully against the noise, all the while wondering why the princess of Moon wasn't transforming and attacking the four of them. Deciding not to push his luck, he opened the door.
Mamoru instantly looked up from his book, "Pizza's here?"
"Actually, no. Your moon princess is, though."
Mamoru jumped from his chair and raced towards the living room. Usagi was standing there, eyes transfixed on the three men and the game that had ended with Zoicite's victory. Kunzite grimaced, but stationed himself far enough not to be an imposition, but near enough to save his prince if the need should arise.
Mamoru approached Usagi so cautiously, it reminded Kunzite of when he was a boy and had ruined his mother's roses.
"Usagi-chan... I can explain" he said before the blonde could speak.
Usagi turned to look at him, and Kunzite was surprised to see the tears in her eyes. Her lower lip was trembling. Kunzite tensed.
"Mamoru! How could you! After all we've been through, you hide this from me? From me?"
Kunzite knew the precise moment in which Mamoru panicked. "Usagi, please I can explain," he watched as his prince grabbed the princess by her shoulders, but she shook her head and pushed him away.
"How could you?" she whispered, not bothering to wipe the tears that were falling down her rosy cheeks. Her chest was rising faster, as her voice went up another note with each word. "After everything we've been through, you hide something like this?"
"Usako…" it broke Kunzite's heart to hear the pain in his prince's voice. He saw the other three nudge each other, as the tension in the room felt suffocation. But, if Kunzite were to be honest with himself, he had warned Mamoru of what lying to Usagi would cause…
Usagi whimpered for one long, arduous second before her voice rivaled an opera soprano. She balled her hands to her sides as she took to hitting her boyfriend's chest, all the while screaming, "You know how much I've been dying to play Mario Kart Wii!"
Kunzite choked on his own saliva.
And by Mamoru's lack of response, the prince hadn't fared much better.
"Pla-play- Usako, you wanted to play the game?" Mamoru asked, grabbing the princess' hands and pulling them gently away from his body. They continued punching the air. The princess nodded, and stomped on his foot.
"I'm Princess Peach!" She rushed towards the television; Jadeite, Zoicite and Nephrite scattered away, leaving ample space for the small woman to settle herself, squeezed between the three grown man, the old worn couch, and the plasma TV Nephrite had insisted on last month.
Kunzite watched with an open mouth as she yanked a remote control from Jadeite's unsuspecting hands and began pressing bottoms. Before any man could move, she had selected Princess Peach, and a pink car with lots of ribbons. "Well? I'm not playing alone!" she said, turning over to the three scared-to-death Shitennou. Kunzite shook his head, as the three of them grabbed the left over controls (because Mamoru had to buy four) and started a game.
As the three bedazzled men and one infuriated princess began their bloody competition, Kunzite stared in awe. He approached Mamoru, who seemed unable or unwilling to twitch a single muscle and asked. "Are you one hundred percent sure that is the real moon princess?"
It took Mamoru a minute to react but when he did, Kunzite was surprised to see he was grinning like a psychopath. "If you think that is something, wait until Minako finds out."
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Reviews and constructive criticism are much appreciated ^_^
