CHAPTER 41- Without You
Katara sighed, standing at the back of the ship long after Zuko, and even the Fire Nation, were out of sight. Her tears fell freely, but only because no one could see them. She wasn't usually one to let people see her lose her cool and break down in tears. Nothing was going to be the same anymore. Sure, she was happy to be going home and seeing her family again. But the rest of her family, her anchors, the ones not blood related would be missing. Now that Fire Lord Ozai had died and the war was going to end, everyone had had to split up to lead their lives. Zuko had become the new Fire Lord, Ty Lee had gone back to the circus, Mai's parents were coming back to live with her, and Aang had headed to the Western Air Temple with Toph. She thanked Tui and La that at least her brother was going back to the South Pole with her. The Kyoshi warriors were on board as well, getting let off at their island. The trip would take about a week and a half or so. Katara brooded over this as she watched the choppy water in the wake of the ship.
She knew Sokka had been watching her, wanting to know she was okay. Katara was pretty sure he knew that her heart was being torn in two. Once Katara could keep her tears at bay, she turned around and walked toward the front of the ship. She though that maybe if she was with friends, she'd be able to make it seem as though she was all right. Katara tried to pretend that she was okay, but everyone knew better. Sokka started in first.
"Katara, are you okay?" Sokka asked, his tone concerned.
"I'm fine," she replied quickly, a bit of agitation in her voice.
"Are you sure, because if-"
"Sokka, I said I'm fine!" Katara snapped.
Sokka looked worried, but he didn't press her any further. Katara felt guilty that she'd yelled at her brother, but the tears welled up in her eyes again before she could apologize. Katara quickly made her way off the deck and inside the ship. She asked someone where her room was and they gave her directions. Walking fast, Katara searched for her room and found it pretty easily. She opened the door to see that her things had been placed on her bed already. Katara moved her pack and her water skin off of the bed before lying down. She stared up at the ceiling for awhile, trying not to cry again. She lifted her right hand up and looked at the ring she wore. In shimmered slightly in the dim lighting of the room. She read the inscription a few times and thought of Zuko.
Why are you getting so worked up over this? Katara asked herself. It's not like he told you he hated you or that he wanted to break up. You know you understand why you have to go home, she told herself.
Katara continued to think and calm herself down when she heard a knock at the door.
She sat up. "Who is it?" Katara called.
"It's Suki," a gentle voice responded. "Can I come in?"
Katara got up and went over to open the door. Suki stood there smiling. Katara gave her a small smile in return.
"Do you mind if we talk?" Suki asked, coming in and shutting the door behind her.
Katara shook her head and went back to sit on her bed. Suki followed suit and sat down beside her.
"Katara, look, I know how you feel," Suki began.
Katara looked at her. "You do?"
Suki nodded. "Being separated from the person or the people you love is really hard. Trust me, I know from experience."
Katara let that sink in for a moment. "It is really hard. I know from experience as well," Katara paused. "Is Sokka angry at me for yelling at him?"
Suki smiled gently. "I don't think he's mad. A little shocked, maybe, but not mad. He knows how you feel and what you're going through."
"I feel bad. No matter how I feel I shouldn't have snapped at him like that," Katara said, looking at her hands sitting in her lap.
"You and I know he'll forgive you, even if you don't apologize," Suki said. "You're his baby sister, he loves you, Katara. He wants to help you."
I know," Katara said softly, looking out the small window in her room. The moon was out and she felt comforted by that. No clouds were hiding it.
"Zuko? Zuko?" A voice called.
Zuko snapped out of his reverie. His head shot up and looked at whoever had called his name. His mother stood at the door to his bedroom off of the parlor. Zuko had been lying on his bed, staring upward for a while in between looking at his ring from Katara. Zuko sat up and sat on the side of the bed. Ursa came over and sat next to him.
"Are you alright, Zuko?" Ursa asked gently.
Zuko ran a hand through his long ebony hair. "Mom, don't take this personally, but does it look like I'm alright? Katara's only been gone a few hours and it's driving me crazy."
"It'll get better. Don't worry too much, my love. I know you'll miss her, but you know you'll see her again."
"Yeah, I know I'll see her again," Zuko said with a gleam in his eyes.
"What are you planning?" Ursa asked with a smile.
"I'll tell you later, Mom. I need to finish planning this out first. Then, I promise I'll tell you and Uncle all about it."
"Alright, Zuko. But let me ask, when do you think you'll see her again?"
"Winter," he said with a grin.
"Well, in the mean time, I suggest you keep busy. Though, I'm sure that won't be hard. Now, your uncle asked me to play Pai Sho with him again, so I promised I'd meet him." Zuko rolled his eyes. "But know that if you want to talk, we're both here for you."
"I will, Mom. Have fun with Uncle," Zuko said, lying back down.
Ursa ruffled his hair a bit with her hand and left him to his thoughts. Zuko had been in his quarters since dinner and had been working on a plan he'd begun developing a few days earlier. Zuko got up and went to another room where his desk was. He got out some parchment and a quill pen. He dipped the quill in ink and began writing out parts of the plan. When he was finished with them for the night, he folded the parchment paper and stored it in a drawer in his desk. On his way back to bed, Zuko grabbed a scroll from a pile he had and took it with him. He got settled into bed with the scroll and tried to occupy his mind before falling asleep.
Back on the Fire Navy ship, the gang was also headed to bed. Katara made her way next door where his room was located. She found him getting ready for bed. He looked up and was surprised to see her standing there.
"Katara, is something wrong?"
Katara held her hands together and looked at her feet. "I wanted to apologize, Sokka. I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. It's just, this whole thing has gotten me so-" Katara stopped when she felt tears welling up in her eyes.
Sokka came over and put an arm around Katara's shoulders. "Katara, its okay, I understand. You don't have to apologize. I know what you're going through. It's hard when you love a person and can't be with them as much as you like. I know that."
Katara absorbed what her brother told her. "I get what you mean, and I-" She stopped and stared at her brother.
He looked at her confusedly. "What?"
"You said a person you love, and you said you know what I'm going through. You're talking about Suki, aren't you?! You're in love with Suki!" Katara said, her voice getting louder with every word.
Sokka blushed. "I never said that, Katara! You're putting words in my mouth," he stammered.
"Okay, then you won't mind me asking Suki about this then," Katara said smoothly, making for the door.
Sokka grabbed her wrist. "Katara stop, you can't do that. You don't need her to know I'm lying."
"Aha, so you do love-"
Sokka clamped his hand over her mouth. "Shhh! You don't need to announce it to the whole world. You might as well go cloud bending with Aang and write it in the sky!"
Katara pulled his hand off. "Okay, okay, calm down. So, have you told her?"
"No, not yet. There hasn't been a right time," Sokka said.
"When are you going to tell her?" Katara pried.
"I was thinking when we got to Kyoshi Island," he told her.
"What, so like, ten days?"
"Pretty much," Sokka replied.
"Do you know if she loves you?"
"I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure she does."
"Wait, so you're just going to tell her you love her and then leave?" Katara asked. "That's like what Zuko just did!" Katara started to get worked up.
Sokka sat down and pulled Katara down by her wrist. "I'll tell you a secret, but you can't say a word to anyone at all. You got it?" Katara nodded eagerly. "I'm going to propose to her," he confessed.
Katara wore a look of shock, then smiled brightly. "Sokka, that's great!" Katara exclaimed, hugging her brother. "You're going to propose when we get to Kyoshi?"
"Well, no. I'm 16, going on 17 in the winter, and I'm old enough to marry, but I'm going to wait a little longer. Once we get home, I'm going to carve a necklace for her and then return to Kyoshi Island to propose."
"That sounds so romantic, Sokka," Katara smiled. "What are you going to carve on the necklace?"
"Um, actually, I hadn't thought that far ahead yet..."
Katara thought for a minute. "What about a fan? Like the ones the warriors use! That's what first brought you guys together, isn't it?"
Sokka grinned. "That's an awesome idea, Katara! I love it! Thanks," Sokka said, hugging her.
"No problem, Sokka. I'm going to have to resist the urge to tell Suki! She'll be so excited!"
"I hope so," Sokka said.
"I know she will!" Katara smiled, a gleam in her eyes that her brother failed to notice.
"Well, anyway, we should both get some sleep, Katara. We've got a bit of a journey ahead of us," Sokka said.
"You're probably right," Katara said, standing up. "I'll see you in the morning."
For the next week, Zuko and Katara stayed in a sort of daze. They were still confused when they looked for the other and didn't find them. Zuko would find himself daydreaming about Katara during important meetings and his uncle would have to snap him out of it. Katara found the most solace in her bending, even though Sokka would sometimes find her just standing there, a stream of water hovering between her hands. Katara really had to face reality when that week and a half had gone by and they'd arrived at Kyoshi Island. The girls, donned in full uniform, paraded into the village and were welcomed by Oyaji and the townspeople. Katara and Sokka followed them and took in the village.
"I can't believe we haven't been here since Aang was thrown in jail," Katara said. "It seems like that was so long ago, when really it was just early spring."
The town had a feast that night, welcoming back the warriors and the group that helped stop the war. Katara and Sokka would leave for the South Pole in the morning, but for now enjoyed a night's sleep in the village. The next morning came faster then expected, and the siblings were sad to leave. Sokka told Suki he wanted to talk with her before he left. He told her to meet him behind a certain building in the morning. Suki found Sokka already waiting for her.
"Why here, Sokka?" She asked him.
"Because, this is the place we hid before I left the first time I was here. This is the spot where you first kissed me on the cheek," Sokka explained.
Suki smiled. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"
Sokka stepped toward her and took her hands in his. "Well, I've been thinking about things a lot lately. I have things to say to you, but I can't say them just yet. But there is one thing I can, and have to, tell you before I leave."
"What is it?" Suki looked up at him confusedly.
"Suki, I want to tell you, that, that I love you," Sokka stammered.
Suki stood looking at him in shock. Just when Sokka was about to say something to fix the statement he'd made, Suki squeezed his hands. He looked down at her just as she moved forward and kissed him. She made sure he knew what she felt with a passionate kiss that, quite literally, took his breath away.
Suki pulled away. "Sokka, I love you too. I think I always have," Suki said quietly.
Sokka smiled and resumed kissing her until the horn on the ship sounded and they had to leave.
"Suki, I have some things to talk to you about, but not this moment. I have a surprise."
Suki looked confused. "What?"
"I can't tell you right now, but I promise you'll understand within two weeks," Sokka told her as they walked down to the beach where the ship was.
"Okay, I trust you," Suki told him.
Sokka kissed her one last time before he and Katara boarded the ship. From the deck, the siblings waved to the island of Kyoshi. They waved until the island was invisible and all they could see were the giant elephant koi that leaped out of the water.
The ship worked all the way through the night and some point during the next morning they passed the base of the Patola Mountain Range.
Katara pointed it out. "That's where the Southern Air Temple is," she said to her brother.
A few hours after sunrise the day after, they woke to guards that worked on the deck, telling them there was something they needed to see. Sokka and Katara got dressed quickly and ran up to the deck. They held onto the railing and peered into the distance. The land around them was ice and snow. They thanked the cloaks Zuko had given them, for a cool breeze swept across the ship. A man came up behind them as they realized where they were.
He smiled. "Welcome to the Southern Water Tribe."
