i love the killers and this was way too much fun to do. this used to be a part of the soundtrack to life, but i deleted that because it was awful. i love this one though. i highly suggest listening to the song, because you might understand this better, but i don't think you have to.
enjoy.
I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. Nor do I own Change Your Mind by The Killers.
"And if the answer is no, can I change your mind?"
Change Your Mind by The Killers
One of the reasons why Lily Evans hates James Potter and the rest of the Marauders is because she thinks that they are juvenile pigs. This is only partly true.
Remus Lupin is the responsible one in the group, and even though girls at Hogwarts fawn over him, he very rarely goes on a date. Occasionally, he will go out with a girl, but it is always serious and always lasts at least six months.
Peter Pettigrew is the childish one, always laughing at the wrong time and making inappropriate jokes. Very rarely is he serious, and only when his friends are not around.
Sirius Black is the "womanizer". He will date one (maybe more) girl(s) for about four hours, before moving on to the next one(s).
James Potter is the wild card. Half the time, he is single, and the other half, he has a different girl on his arm every month. This is one of the reasons why Lily hates him so much—he would ask her out on a date, be rejected, go off to sulk, and reappear with another girl hanging onto him.
What Lily does not know is that the other girls are a direct result of her rejections. James thinks that maybe if he has other girls to distract him from Lily and her harsh refusals, he could be happy like Sirius. It does not work, and Lily is always present on his mind.
Occasionally, James will look at himself in the mirror after he is rejected (once again), and he is always shocked by what he sees. He transforms, and he can barely recognise himself. His hazel eyes, usually so full of life, are dull, and his gravity-defying hair seems to lie down flat in a dejected sort of way.
On one of these occasions, Sirius walks by him in the dormitory and casually says, "You look like crap, to put it mildly."
"I feel like crap, mate," James replies. Sirius shrugs and flops onto his bed, playing with a balled up tie, tossing it into the air and catching it again.
"Did Lily reject you again?" Remus asks, rounding the corner and coming into the dormitory, closely followed by Peter.
"Is it really that obvious?" James asks, peering at his reflection. No one answers that question.
"Come on, Evans. One date. That's it."
"No,"
"But Evans—"
"No, Potter. Not now, not ever."
"One date won't kill you."
"You never know."
"You should give it benefit of the doubt."
"Hmm…nope. Not going to happen."
"Evans!"
"No, and that is final."
"But what if I change your mind?"
"Doubtful."
James sighs as he quietly talks to Sirius. Sirius is obviously smashed to oblivion, but he's talking quietly now, and James is trying to think of a plan to lure them back to the common room. He has the map crammed in one pocket and the Cloak stuffed in the other, just in case.
"All I'm saying, Pads—"
"Potter? What in Merlin's name are you doing?"
James sighs as he turns around to watch Lily approach him.
"It's half past ten, and you're a Head, you shouldn't be doing this," she continues.
"Sirius is trashed," he tells her bluntly.
She gapes at him in shock for a second. "What?" she finally splutters.
"Sirius is drunk," he repeats.
"But how?"
"I dunno. He must've found alcohol somewhere."
"But—he's underage!"
"Yes."
"It's illegal!"
"Yes."
Lily softly curses under her breath. "Where is he?" she asks, looking around.
James whirls around and carefully scans the corridor for any signs of his best friend. Sighing, he turns around to find Lily rather close to him. He can see a few freckles on her nose, and she can see gold flecks in his eyes. Her cheeks slowly start to redden, and he has to hold back a grin.
Why does she have to continue this illusion that she hates me? It's so obvious that she doesn't, James thinks. And I know that this has happened before, all this blushing rubbish.
James finally lets his grin break through a bit as he realises what all this blushing must mean.
"Why are you grinning like that?" Lily asks him suspiciously.
"No reason," he replies.
"Seriously, you're starting to freak me out," she responds.
James does not say anything more as they start to make their way back to the common room. When they are outside the portrait, he speaks again.
"Hey, Evans, if there was ever a small chance that you would possibly say 'yes' to dating me, would you tell me?"
Lily cannot hide the small smile that suddenly appears on her face.
"Maybe," she replies as she gives the portrait the password and heads up to her dormitory. James follows behind, smiling to himself.
Lily finds James in the library one night. It is almost curfew, and most of the candles have burned down, leaving shadows in the corners in the room. At first, Lily is shocked that James is even in the library in the first place, but she is even more shocked when she sees what he is working on—a Potions essay that she happens to know is due next week.
"I think that this is honestly the only time I've ever seen you in the library, and quite possibly the first time I've ever seen you study," she says. James jumps, splattering ink all over his parchment. She slides into the chair across from him, and he looks up at her, his glasses reflecting the candlelight.
"You're wrong," he finally says, after much deliberation.
"Pardon?" she asks, startled.
"First year, second week in October, table over there," he responds, pointing his quill in the direction of said table and dripping ink on the floor. Lily frowns in response. "That was the first time you ever saw me studying in the library," he clarifies. "I was young, and didn't know that studying was bad for my rep, and you didn't know me yet, so you weren't as flabbergasted then as you are now."
Lily laughs, and shakes her head in bewilderment. "I don't know how you can remember that, Potter."
"It was part of the glorious two months at the start of first year when you were actually cordial to me," James says. Lily frowns a bit, and James hastily changes the subject. "Anyway, I do study, Evans. I just do it at strange hours when the library is almost deserted, so that nobody sees. Speaking of, why are you here five minutes before curfew?"
Lily laughs and holds up a book that he had not seen her holding earlier. "Don't worry. I'll take your secret to the grave," she says, laughter dancing in her brilliant green eyes.
"Thanks," James mutters as he starts to roll up his parchment and begins shoving textbooks into his bag.
"You know, Potter, I have the feeling that you're not a secret genius after all, like you have everyone believe. I think you're just as normal as the rest of us," she says as they stand and start the trek back to the common room.
"Oh, Evans, stop it. You're too nice for your own good, handing out compliments like that to blokes like me," he says seriously, and she laughs, smacking him on the shoulder lightly.
The rest of the walk passes quickly, with both students bantering back and forth. All too soon, Lily is standing in her dormitory next to her bed wondering about what just happened. It is only then that she realises that she never returned her book, and that she doesn't quite care.
Dear Ms. Evans,
I would like to request your company on a date on the sixteenth of February, also known as the next Hogsmeade weekend. Please reply as quickly as possible.
Yours,
Mr. James Potter
P-
Not in your wildest dreams
-E
Evans,
Why not?
Potter
P-
You know why.
-E
Evans, that sounds so ominous. Can't you just say 'yes' for once in your life? –J.P
P- No can do. –LE
HA! I got you to at last write LE! It's a start! –James
Not gonna happen-EVANS
Please, Evans? Please? –J.P
The answer is 'NO' Potter!
Is that final? –J.P
Er. What? –E
What if I can change your mind? Would you say 'yes' then? –J.P
Erm. Yes? –E
Yes? To the date? –a very, very, very happy, ecstatic, excited James Potter
No. Yes to the question about changing my mind. I think. –E
Oh. At least it's a start! –J.P (I think I'll sign everything J.P from now on. Thanks for helping me out, Evans!)
Erm. Okay? –E
"I know you fancy me Evans."
The common room is deserted and the fire is dying, casting strange shadows through the room. James and Lily had just gotten back from Head Patrols.
Lily halts in her steps but keeps going towards her staircase.
"Lily…"
He is not sure why she stops this time. Maybe it is because he just called her by her first name for perhaps the first time, or maybe it's because she hears the raw pain, and the need to know in his voice.
She turns around, and drops into an armchair in the shadows, not meeting his eyes.
"No," she whispers, and at first, he thinks that he imagined it.
"Lily, why don't you just admit—" James begins, but suddenly Lily is on her feet, and she's shouting at him.
"Because it's not true! And even if it were, I would never admit it, because I don't want to be one of them, those girls that follow you around, fawning over you. I'm different! I don't like you just because you're good at Quidditch or…or…. Besides, you're cocky and arrogant, and I'm not like one of them, James!"
She is done now, and she is panting, and her chest is heaving, but all he can think is that she just called him by his first name.
"That's the thing Lily—we're all the same, and I don't know why you can't get that. You, me, them—we are all the same!" She starts to interrupt him, and he groans, running his fingers through his hair. "Before you feed me some rubbish on individuality, hear me out! Biologically, chemically, whatever the hell muggles call it—we're all the same. We're all made up of skin and cells and blood and all that crap. Biologically, you're the same as those other girls, and no one's going to look down on you if you just admit it!"
"But mentally, I'm not the same as them," she argues, but he stops her.
"Exactly! You're Lily, and that's what makes you different!" he cries, thinking that maybe he had gotten through to her.
"No," she says, and her face settles into a hard expression. "I'm Evans, and you're Potter, and I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but I will not be a part of it!" and she stands and stomps up her stairs.
"Love is blind," James calls softly after her, and he could swear that he heard her step falter, but finally a door slams, and he sinks into the chair nearest him, running his fingers through his hair agitatedly and cursing under his breath because somehow, he messed it up again.
Lily know that it is unusual for a Head and Prefect to patrol together, but she cannot handle James now, especially after the last time they had patrolled together. Remus is silent next to her as their footsteps echo through the sleeping castle.
"Lily?" he asks tentatively when they are almost done. "Can we talk?"
"Sure, Remus," Lily replies.
"I know why you had me switch patrols with James," Remus continues, and Lily almost stops breathing. "I don't know exactly what happened between the two of you, because he won't tell any of us. I just know the general gist."
"Remus," Lily interrupts. "Do you mind if we stop walking for a bit?"
Remus shakes his head 'no', and the two of them come to a stop in the hallway.
"Lily, I know how hard this is, but hear me out," Remus starts patiently, but Lily shakes her head 'no' and starts to walk away.
"You may lose him before you ever start dating him," he calls softly after her. She stops walking and leans against the wall, sliding down it to come to a rest on the floor. She covers her eyes with her hands as Remus come over to sit beside her.
"I know," she mumbles quietly, lifting her tearstained face out of her hands. "And that's what scares me, is that I know he won't wait forever, but I'm just not ready to tell him how I feel," she continues.
Remus pulls her into a hug and he lets her cry into his jumper for a few moments.
"Psst…Evans," James whispers to Lily in the middle of History of Magic. She is sitting three rows up absentmindedly doodling in her notes, and Binns is rambling on about goblin wars while most of the class sleeps.
Lily turns around and narrows her eyes at James. He raises a finger, curling it in a gesture that means "come here". Lily looks at the professor and throws her quill over her shoulder, so that it comes to a stop in the aisle before James' seat. She quietly crouches in the aisle and crawls over to where her quill is. She frowns up at James, but he moves over on his chair and pulls her up beside him. Next to him, Sirus is leaning back in his chair with his feet on Peter's desk, and he begins to whistle a tune that sounds suspiciously like the muggle song, "Lily and James, sitting in a tree…"
"Quite the theatrics," James whispers to Lily.
Ignoring Sirius, she replies, "I have to have an excuse for being back here. What did you want anyway?"
"I just wanted to remind you that if you change your mind, I'm available for Hogsmeade this weekend," James grins down at her. Suddenly, Lily is aware of how close his face is to hers. She tries to lean back a bit and is promptly on the floor amidst a huge bang.
Binns breaks off his lecture and looks up in surprise. Lily Evans, one of his best students, is sitting on her bum in the aisle; a few rows back from her normal seat. "Problem Ms. Evans?" he asks her.
She shakes her head and holds up a quill. Binns nods and resumes his lecture after adding, "Feet off the desk Mr. Black."
James grins at Lily, and she goes back to her desk, biting back a smile.
All too soon, it is the next Hogsmeade weekend, and people are milling about in the courtyard. James is standing at the head of the stairs with Sirius and Remus while Peter tries (unsuccessfully) to talk to a girl in Hufflepuff.
"All I'm saying, Prongsie, is that maybe you should forget about it and just come to Hogsmeade with us, your mates, your fellow miscreants, your brothers," Sirius is saying, but James is hardly listening. He is too busy scanning the crowd for a familiar head of red hair.
"There she is! Catch you later Pads, Moony!" James shouts, and he is off, weaving through the crowd, trying desperately to reach Lily.
"Evans! Evans!" he shouts, and by the time people move away, he has too much momentum, and he flies into her. He doesn't care though, and she is surprised to find that she does not care either.
"James! What are you doing?" she asks, but she used his first name and that is one of the only times she has ever used it.
In response, James leans in and kisses her on the lips, in front of half of Hogwarts, but she is caught up in the kiss, and in James.
He pulls away, and she looks up at him, breathless.
"Have I changed your mind, Evans?" he asks, and in response, she leans in and kisses him again. He is barely aware of Sirius wolf whistling and she doesn't even notice when her friend Alice excuses herself and wanders away.
They go to Hogsmeade together that day, and it is the first date of many.
