Angelic. That's what you are, an angel come to earth. You sleep, calmly and peacefully. Unaware that my eyes wander up and down your body.
I hate you. Do you realize I hate you? Do you know why I hate you? No, of course you don't. You couldn't understand something as painful as hate. That is one of the reasons I hate. You. I hate you because you're gentle. I hate because you're sweet. You're warm and generous and have a kind word for almost everyone you meet. You are everything I never was, and never will be. But that's not really why I hate you. I hate you because you make me want you and everything you represent. Before you came I was… not content, but resigned. I didn't want more than I deserve, and I deserve my suffering. With you I desire so much more.
You're so naïve. It's right in front of your eyes and yet you don't see that we're laying a trap for you. You're so naïve, so innocent, so trusting. It's one of the things I love about you. Yes, that's right I love you. I love you and I hate you. But, I think I love you much more than I could ever hate you.
Things were simpler before you came along. But, I was never happy. With you I get a few fleeting glimpses of peace. That's wrong! I shouldn't be happy! Not after what I did! I am monster, a demon… I am The Witch.
You would be disgusted if you saw me as I truly am. You would turn away in revulsion. You would find me despicable and abandon me. I wish you would. Then I could hate you totally. Not this jumble of emotions that were once so foreign, and are now so familiar to me.
I want to save you. I love you so I want you to be safe. The problem is I couldn't bear to be without you. I can't let you go. So I wait. And I watch. And you'll never know.
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I'm so glad you're here. It frightens me when I wake up and you're gone. I'd never tell you that though. You might think I was ordering you to stay.
Do you want to hear a secret? It's not something I'd normally tell you, but you're asleep so it really doesn't matter. The other day, when I asked Wakaba if there were some people you couldn't fall in love with, I wasn't just talking about Akio-san. Himemiya sometimes I think we could maybe…. No I really shouldn't think like that. I'll think about something else.
I'm done with all my homework. I wont have to make any excuses for missing assignments. I guess I'll be having shaved ice for breakfast tomorrow. It's a good thing I like it so much. It's practically all Himemiya can make. Himemiya. When I see her I think of cocoa. Like her skin. Or maybe a spice would be more fitting. Something like nutmeg, or cinnamon. Then there are her eyes, to pale to called emeralds. Maybe aqua marine, or is that pale blue? Himemiya would know. I think her eyes are sea foam. Yes, that's perfect. The way she can look so delicate. It's more that though. Sometimes… Sometimes it seems like she could just disappear. Like foam upon the waves. There are times when I have to touch you. When I have to make sure you're really there.
None of that matters though. I've already decided I don't feel that way abut you. Before I couldn't figure out why my heart would start racing whenever you're around. I figured it out though. You and Akio-san are often together. He even looks a bit like you. I decided I must be in love with him. I know part of me is. But… I also think part of me is in love with you.
It doesn't matter exactly how I love you though. I will never let anyone hurt you. I promise. I promise.
I hate you. Do you realize I hate you? Do you know why I hate you? No, of course you don't. You couldn't understand something as painful as hate. That is one of the reasons I hate. You. I hate you because you're gentle. I hate because you're sweet. You're warm and generous and have a kind word for almost everyone you meet. You are everything I never was, and never will be. But that's not really why I hate you. I hate you because you make me want you and everything you represent. Before you came I was… not content, but resigned. I didn't want more than I deserve, and I deserve my suffering. With you I desire so much more.
You're so naïve. It's right in front of your eyes and yet you don't see that we're laying a trap for you. You're so naïve, so innocent, so trusting. It's one of the things I love about you. Yes, that's right I love you. I love you and I hate you. But, I think I love you much more than I could ever hate you.
Things were simpler before you came along. But, I was never happy. With you I get a few fleeting glimpses of peace. That's wrong! I shouldn't be happy! Not after what I did! I am monster, a demon… I am The Witch.
You would be disgusted if you saw me as I truly am. You would turn away in revulsion. You would find me despicable and abandon me. I wish you would. Then I could hate you totally. Not this jumble of emotions that were once so foreign, and are now so familiar to me.
I want to save you. I love you so I want you to be safe. The problem is I couldn't bear to be without you. I can't let you go. So I wait. And I watch. And you'll never know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm so glad you're here. It frightens me when I wake up and you're gone. I'd never tell you that though. You might think I was ordering you to stay.
Do you want to hear a secret? It's not something I'd normally tell you, but you're asleep so it really doesn't matter. The other day, when I asked Wakaba if there were some people you couldn't fall in love with, I wasn't just talking about Akio-san. Himemiya sometimes I think we could maybe…. No I really shouldn't think like that. I'll think about something else.
I'm done with all my homework. I wont have to make any excuses for missing assignments. I guess I'll be having shaved ice for breakfast tomorrow. It's a good thing I like it so much. It's practically all Himemiya can make. Himemiya. When I see her I think of cocoa. Like her skin. Or maybe a spice would be more fitting. Something like nutmeg, or cinnamon. Then there are her eyes, to pale to called emeralds. Maybe aqua marine, or is that pale blue? Himemiya would know. I think her eyes are sea foam. Yes, that's perfect. The way she can look so delicate. It's more that though. Sometimes… Sometimes it seems like she could just disappear. Like foam upon the waves. There are times when I have to touch you. When I have to make sure you're really there.
None of that matters though. I've already decided I don't feel that way abut you. Before I couldn't figure out why my heart would start racing whenever you're around. I figured it out though. You and Akio-san are often together. He even looks a bit like you. I decided I must be in love with him. I know part of me is. But… I also think part of me is in love with you.
It doesn't matter exactly how I love you though. I will never let anyone hurt you. I promise. I promise.
