Mandatory! Must Read! : There are spoilers for the manga so don't read unless you've read to at least Chapter 203. This is slightly AU.
AN: So, this was supposed to be posted a long time ago but I sort of forgot about it. The writing style is a bit different from mine as of right now, but I worked with it because I didn't want to ruin the mood that I had set up and possibly have to rewrite everything over again. I'll probably be doing an xxxHolic one soon. And yes I know I still FFACB. Unfortunately for that one the writing style is just pissing me off. I can't find a way to continue writing the story without people thinking that it's two different people writing it. I tried to go along with my previous writing style but it just irked me a lot. Plus, King Arthur is getting old, so I will be putting the story up for adoption. Sometime this weekend I will put the note into the story and any other details pertaining to the adoption like no copying of OC for own use, and other stuff. Anyway enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles.
Unburdened
Syaoran hadn't made the best decisions in his life and he knew that he would have to pay the consequences for them. Of course being imprisoned by Fei Wong, giving away half of his heart, and watching a clone live his life weren't what he was expecting. Despite this, he persevered for Sakura who didn't deserve to die. She was one of those people that only came once in a while. She was a person who lived to make people smile and thus she was treasured by those around her.
So, he had taken it upon himself to accept whatever consequence that was given to him so that he could protect one of his precious people. That was until he met Kurogane who changed him – him and everybody else. Kurogane had a depth of perception that came not only from being a ninja, but from his crude beliefs. He caught on quickly to anything and despite being rough in demeanor he was a compassionate person.
Watching through his clone, Syaoran began to treasure the memories that he was "making" with everyone especially Kurogane. He had always seemed strong, like a barrier. This perception though, was washed away when he saw the memories of Kurogane's harsh past. Syaoran realized it as something that could have been avoided if he had made a different decision. This extra burden weighed him down more so than all the others. The fact that he had ruined his life meant that he could have ruined others.
He felt like an intruder, but unfortunately his clone was stuck and so was he. As he watched, Syaoran felt that he wasn't the only one trying to do what he had promised to do and living with burdens. Kurogane, how could he live through all that? Syaoran could barely imagine the hopelessness that went through him as his mother and then his father fell. He wondered if Kurogane would have tried to turned back time if given the choice.
When he finally broke free he had raced to make it in time before his clone did anything fatal. He didn't make it. Fay was unconscious and bleeding in Kurogane's arms. Seeing the scene Syaoran couldn't help but feel that everything was his fault; this whole mess with Fei Wong and his (Syaoran's) one sole wish. It was all becoming more and so many lives were at stake. But, more importantly was right now. He had to try to make his clone realize he had a heart.
Fate must have been against him for he escaped. Unable to bear the looks on their faces he looked at the ground in shame. His clone had been a vital part of the group and he was only a replacement. That day had been filled with awkwardness. No one knew how to interact with him there. After leaving that world Syaoran still felt misplaced and even more so with Clone Sakura's sudden change. She had gone from smiling to an almost indifferent and cold person. He constantly beat himself up about it until he realized that she had never been his Sakura.
It was during this time period when he actually interacted with Kurogane face to face. At first he had tried to figure out if he hated him but Kurogane just told him to stop beating himself up. "You're different from the clone. That's fine with me." Then he just turned away. At that moment Syaoran felt that he understood Kurogane much better and he vowed that he would tell them all the truth about his wish even if it meant that they would hate him.
Syaoran didn't know what it was but the bluntness of Kurogane helped him a lot. Slowly he felt that the group was beginning to accept him and he began to realize that he wasn't the only one full of regret. He decided that he had to repay Kurogane for helping him and his clone for everything. One day he came over to Kurogane and asked for a private talk. Since he had seen Kurogane's memories it was only right he told him about his past. At the end of his story, Syaoran felt that whatever Kurogane was going to do was justified, but he didn't do anything but punch him in the face. "I'm not going to blame you for what happened. If your decision did affect my world and possibly others then there's nothing more to be done. I'm not saying that I don't care, but the past is the past and to hate someone for wish is hypocritical because we are all wishing for something."
Kurogane's face gained an awkward light after realizing what he had said. "By the way, that punch was for you blaming yourself and getting all Fay-like! Now get rid of that face because I don't want to see it again!" Kurogane left the room, huffing about something, probably about how sappy he was getting. Syaoran smiled quietly. The burden that had been on his shoulders was no longer there. Whatever happened after, he knew that all his friends would somehow still be there, all trying to achieve their wishes and repent from past mistakes.
