Author's Note: first off, I own none of the characters in this fanfiction. This story is part of a continuation of the story Armageddon Test Run, located in the Transformers GI Joe crossover section. The total story should encompass several different fandoms... pity limits it to two per story.
Cobra Armageddon Z: Alien Exodus
"Where is everyone going?" J asked aloud as he and agent K surveyed the mass of departing aliens from an upper balcony. Both men wore black suits, and generally looked non-descript, easily lost in a crowd, even though J was a handsome thin black man, and K was an older white man.
He had seen the Men In Black headquarters during a rush before, but nothing like what he was seeing now. It was like every alien on the planet was trying to leave at once, and they didn't seem to care who knew about it.
"Nothing we haven't seen before, Slick," K answered.
"Yeah, but not on this scale. I mean this is worse than when we were about to be stamped out by a Bug," J protested.
"What worries me is the why?" K answered.
"Ok, so, why are they all leaving?" J asked.
"No idea. Lets go." K turned and started walking.
"You need to think about what is going on, so I should drive this time."
"No." K answered in his usual monotone. "Besides, you don't know the way?"
A short walk later, and J found himself sitting in his usual spot in the passenger seat of a black, nondescript sedan.
"So where are we going?" J finally asked.
"Our usual contacts have already abandoned ship…" K started.
"Even Jeeves?" J asked, but was silenced by the look K gave him.
"So we are going to Undertown." K said.
"Undertown?" J said, "I have heard rumors about an underground alien city, but I didn't think it really existed."
"It's real all right. We don't mess with it much, provided the Plumbers keep everything under control."
"Wait… plumbers? An alien city on earth is run by Roto-Rooter?" J joked.
The glance K gave him made J feel like he was back in preschool. "The planet is too big for the MIB to police alone. On Earth, there is the MIB, Torchwood, Section-E and other groups; while access to Earth is also regulated by various alien institutions like the Galactic Trig, the Shadow Proclamation, and the Plumbers. In order to be more effective, the Plumbers do utilize Human agents too."
"You are making this stuff up? Galactic Trig?" J said.
K said nothing, but merely motioned for him to follow.
Undertown was everything the rumors had said it was and more, it more than took J's breath away. Roads, and row after row of buildings stretched into the distance of a cave that J could not see the far side of. He decided not to think about what was (or wasn't) holding the ceiling up. There was only one thing missing from the city before them: People. No human, humanoid, anthropoid, oozoid or any other –oid was anywhere to be seen.
"Oh, this can NOT be good," J said.
As usual, K seemed unfazed. "let's take a look around, there may be someone still hanging about."
With a practiced ease and grace the two men each picked a street parallel to each other and began walking through the underground city. They didn't look at each other, focusing instead on the surrounding buildings, but they still kept pace with each other.
It wasn't much of a sound. A tiny clink of two pieces of crystal or metal hitting each other, but in the foreboding silence of the abandoned city, it was enough.
"K!" J shouted as he took off at a run towards the sound.
He ran down and around the corner, through an open door to find a startled weasel looking alien loading some candlesticks into a sack.
The alien screamed and jumped out the window, and the chase was on. J pulled his weapon, a tiny pistol called the "Noisy Cricket," that he really didn't want to fire in a cave setting. "Stop it right there, or Ill shoot!"
The alien screamed again, and turned the corner.
J growled in frustration and followed.
The alien didn't get very far. He was standing completely still, looking up into the triple barrels of agent K's atomizer.
"Argit, is that you?" K said, "I should have known that with everything that's going on, you would be the one stupid enough to stay behind to go on a looting spree!"
"K!" the rodent like alien exclaimed, "Imagine meeting you here? Undertown isn't your jurisdiction… and this isn't looting, I uh… found this stuff."
"Don't' play me, Argit." K said. J moved around to cover Argit's escape route should the alien make the mistake of trying to run again. "As for Undertown, I am making it my jurisdiction, unless you tell me what I want to know."
"Fine, fine… uh… what is it you want to know?" Argit said.
"Why is everyone abandoning Earth? What's coming?" K demanded.
"What do you mean, K? Nothing is coming," Argit said.
"Well, then, I guess I will just arrest you for looting, and you can wait in a holding cell until the people you have robbed come back and tell me if they want to press charges or not," K said.
"No, K, please! You can't keep me locked up! I have got to get off this planet… You… you can come too! We would make a great team out there!" Argit said.
"Fine, J, cuff him," K said.
Argit finally cracked as he saw the other agent moving up behind him.
"Ok, fine!" Argit said with a defiance that convinced them it was the truth, "You want to know what is coming? Nothing! Nothing is coming. Its already here, man, and it isn't even alien! You did this to your selves. You see, for a while it was contained, and we weren't too worried. After all, we didn't think your race was suicidal and stupid. I guess we were wrong, because now its loose and spreading. We are getting out of here before one of us gets infected, cause if one of us takes it back to one of our home worlds, there will be no stopping it."
"You are still being awfully vague, Argit," K said.
"Fine, you want a better hint? Don't get killed looking it up, I would hate to feel guilty for your death," Argit said.
"You haven't felt guilty a day in your short miserable life, Argit," K said.
"Out in the middle of nowhere there use to be a town called Jasper, Nevada," Argit explained, "That town ain't there no more, and the thing that started there is loose and spreading."
