Scrubs Scenes Rikkai Style

Scene Bag 1

Scene: Rap

People: Sanada, Akaya, Niou, and Marui

Original: Tuck gets schooled on rap by Elliot and Molly

(Niou, Marui, and Sanada are sitting at a table outside with a radio)

Niou: Half of what rappers say doesn't make any sense. Like that Snoop Dog/Dr. Dre song, what is "still hitting them corners and those ho-hos girls" mean?

Sanada: Many disadvantaged African-Americans have limited nutritional choices, therefore they much subsist on Ho-Ho snack cakes. I think that's what it means.

(Akaya walks up to them)

Akaya: Actually, fukubuchou, it's "still hitting them corners in them low-lows, girl". It's low-lows, not ho-hos. See, fukubuchou, in the hood, a low-low is a low rider, or a car with an adjusted suspension that allows it bounce up and down.

(Akaya moves up and down like a low rider)

Marui: Heh, heh.

Akaya: And Dre and Snoop enjoy driving around together in their low riders around the corners, or lizzle-rizzles. "I'm representin' for the gangsters all across the world! Still hitting them corners in them low-lows, girl! Still takin' my time to perfect the beat and I still got love for the street!"

(Sanada looks embarrassed and starts staring at the table)

Marui: Sanada, you got schooled on rap by the only 2nd year regular on the tennis team.

(Sanada's face suddenly turns furious)

Sanada: None of you can prove it!

(Niou holds up a tape recorder)

Niou: I got it on tape.

(Sanada puts his head down on the table in defeat as Niou plays the recorder while Marui laughs and Akaya starts doing the hand spitting thing for rapping in victory)

Scene: Song

People: Sanada, Yukimura, and Akaya

Original: JD really loves Journey

(Sanada and Yukimura are sitting behind a tree)

Yukimura: Nobody loves Journey as much as you do.

Sanada: I don't love Journey.

(Akaya walks by)

Akaya: "She's just a small town girl…"

Sanada: "Living in a lonely world, she took the midnight train going anywhere…" Alright, I love it.

Scene: Language

People: Jackal, Renji, and Akaya

Original: Elliot and Tuck tries to make a kid happy by speaking in French

(Renji and Akaya are on the courts with Jackal)

Renji: "I just thought it would make Jackal feel better if we do this match speaking in Portuguese, okay?"

Akaya: "I have a soccer ball in my pants."

(Renji faceplams while Jackal stares at Akaya)

Jackal and Renji: Are you good at Portuguese, Akaya?

(Akaya realizes what he said and becomes embarrassed)

Akaya: "Grapefruit?"

Scene: Partner

People: Niou and Yagyuu

Original: Carla gets inside Turk's head

(Yagyuu and Niou are checking their invite list for Sanada's birthday party)

Yagyuu: Okay, this is your last chance to uninvite that ex-girlfriend from your class.

Niou: She knows Sanada from the kendo team.

Yagyuu: Isn't that fortunate.

Niou: Thank god he thinks that chick I invited is Sanada's kendo teammate! Well, guess what? There's no relation, baby!

Yagyuu: Oh, and by the way, don't think for a second that Sanada's "teammate" will be sitting at our table.

Niou: Oh my god, Yagyuu's inside my head! It's okay. Use it to your advantage. Fetch me my racket, Yeahgyuu!

Yagyuu: Get it yourself.

Niou: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Scene: Locker

People: Niou and Marui

Original: Tuck performs explotory surgery Indiana Jones style

(Niou and Marui are on the courts)

Marui: I say, we go into Sanada's locker and explore it.

Niou: I always wonder what if would be like in Sanada's locker...

(A fantasy scene occurs with Niou and Marui are standing outside Sanada's locker)

Niou: I'm going in.

(Niou enters the locker, which inside seems a cave)

Niou: Marui! Hat!

(Marui throws an Indiana Jones hat into the locker and Niou puts it on)

Niou: Sanada's… why it have to be Sanada's?

(Niou explores the cave until he finds some gum packs)

Niou: Getting the golden gum packs…

(Niou grabs the gum packs, but darts start shooting, so Niou runs out of the locker)

Niou: Marui…

(Marui reveals he got hit by the darts in the butt, Niou looks shocked)

Marui: Next time, tell me about the risks.

(The fantasy scene ends and Niou and Marui are back on the courts)

Niou: I have to watch out for Locker Darts.

Scene: Bitches

People: Yukimura and Akaya

Original: JD talks about his first operation

(Akaya is talking with Yukimura about an operation he heard in the hospital)

Yukimura: And what happened next?

Akaya: Well, the patient started to hyperventilate, and then she reach for a hit for what she thought was a oxygen tank, turned out a helium container from pediatrics, then she screamed, "I'LL KILL YOU, BITCHES!", which frankly, I thought was hilarious.

Scene: Pregnant

People: Niou and a random fangirl named Kaori

Original: JD learns Kim is pregnant

(Niou has been called by a girl he slept with to meet her alone)

Niou: You're pregnant?

(Kaori nods her head)

Niou: Are you sure?

(Kaori holds up a bunch of pregnancy tests, all positive, Niou looks in shock)

Kaori: I'm pretty sure.

Niou: I'm not sure how to phrase this, Kaori, so I'm just gonna dive right in… have there been other penises?

Kaori:It's your baby, Niou.

Niou: Cool.

Kaori: Are you okay?

Niou: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Yeah.

Scene: Ketchup

People: Sanada and Marui

Original: Burger day in the cafeteria

(Marui is passing by Sanada's lunch table and picks up the ketchup there)

Sanada: The ketchup is for the three demons, Marui.

(Marui walks backwards and puts the ketchup back on the table before walking away)

Scene: Startling

People: Akaya, Niou, and Marui

Original: JD and Elliot scare the interns

(Niou and Marui are experimenting on a fake body)

Niou: So, Marui, get in here and see the effects of cirrhosis of the liver.

(A hand covered in blood pops out of the body)

Niou and Marui: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

(The two fall to the floor and Akaya reveals himself, his left hand covered in fake blood)

Akaya: Hey. You know I was going to do that.

(Marui and Niou are revealed to be holding each other in a funny way)

Niou: But it was still very startling!

Scene: Chart

People: Sanada, Yukimura, Akaya, and Niou

Original: The Todd gets a wedgie

(Sanada and Yukimura is with Akaya at the club)

Yukimura: Okay, Akaya, I think you're a seven on the pain chart.

(Yukimura looks at the chart again)

Yukimura: Yep. Definitely a seven.

Akaya: What's a ten?

(Niou is then seen getting a wedgie after making a smart comment to a girl)

Niou: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

(Sanada points to Niou)

Sanada: That's a ten.