How to Destroy: Him

By: Izzy Evans

or

Aqua279

MAX POV

My eyes fluttered and I sat up, looking around. My flock wasn't around me- caged or other wise. That was one plus among a million negatives. They could easily be in another room. Though a little off centered, that was a possibility. One that I really didn't like. I stood up, realizing I was flat on my back- a very vulnerable position. I stretched my aching muscles, realizing that no matter what, I'd probably be happier knowing my flock was on the outside, safe, and knowing to go straight to Mom's house. After what happened to Fang, we'd been going over things to do if one of us got captured- go straight to Mom's until one of the older ones thought of what to do- or until they came back. I also taught Angel how to wrap a deep cut, how to set a broken bone so it would heal right, and how to defend herself when she had only the use of one arm, leg or other limb. She taught Gazzy. Fang and I both taught Nudge and Iggy. Then we taught Ella to fight, and then- for a brief time period- taught mother. And then, when we were left alone to rest after teaching everyone how to fight better…we got all nervous, jittery, suddenly filled with energy enough to start the teaching cycle all over again.

They took him and made him come tell me he never wanted to see me again, or the flock. He hadn't told me how they made him convinced that he had to leave, though. I just couldn't see Fang saying that he would do it, even if they threatened our lives. There had to be something they did to make him see things their way for a moment- torture? No, I'd seen him take that head on, with a smirk to make them angry. So what could it have been? Because if it made Fang cave, it'd surely take ten times less to make me cave. But I wouldn't go down submissively. "HEY!!! I SEE you standing there! Let ME OUT RIGHT NOW!" I yelled, angry. I pounded my fists on the door I'd found, doing the universal "I'm watching you" signal to him. The whitecoat ran away, to get his little bossy, obviously. I grinned in self satisfaction. Then I started pacing, thinking of what to do, bracing myself, watching all possible entrances to the room so that I could know when they came in.

"We're going to give you a key." They said through the speaker on the wall. I rolled my eyes. Spineless, I swear.

"What? You say you want me to kiss a donkey?" I asked loudly, as if deaf. They made a noise."No, a KEY." I stared at the wall in disbelief.

"Where'd you get a king?" I asked in mock idiocy. The floor started tingling under my combat booted feet, and I felt the shock run up my spine, knocking me out. Fang probably would have been disappointed to see me go out so fast. But I bet I wouldn't have been knocked out by that weak voltage if they were here to see me.

XXX

"Open your eyes." Someone was repeating as I came to. I let my head lull to the side, too tired and worn out to actually argue when they tilted it back in place.

"Wha's going on?" I asked in a slurred voice.

"Too high, too high. Let her go." Someone pulled a needle out of my arm, and things started coming in clearer, though it was still hard to focus. "Maximum, we need you to leave your flock, for the betterment of the world, and for your flocks own safety. And you will have to save the world." "Make- me." I choked.

"We aren't going to force you to leave. We just want you to know that their lives would be completely safe and normal had you not been created. Had you never have met them." The man said, staring at me emotionlessly.

"Lia-ar." I hissed.

"Maximum, if you had never met Fang, Iggy, Gasman, Angel, or Nudge, they would be perfectly normal- they would be living happy lives, and be healthily fed, and taken care of. If you leave them now, they have a chance of normal life." I stared at him. Of course, that's what I'd always wanted for them. Just…well I'd wanted it with them.

"You are promising me that they'd be left alone, and be okay if I never saw them again." His eyes glinted.

"Yes." "How do I know that you're telling the truth about them being normal?""Maximum, we are very advanced scientists." I snorted, but he ignored me as he carefully put on latex gloves and picked up a needle. "We have figured out a way to send one to an alternate universe, where things would be different. We simply programmed this dosage to show a person what their loved ones would be like had they not been born. It's really simple." I stared at him, but he didn't seem to care or notice that I thought he was insane. "Alright. Let's see it." I finally said, throwing my arm out at him. He flinched. So he had read my file. But anything for the flock. He not-so-gently inserted the needle into my skin, my vein. My vision blacked, and I felt like I was falling. It was a good feeling, as if I'd let my wings get pulled in a little, until…

Suddenly I couldn't move. I panicked, years of experimentation causing my fight or flight instincts to hit over drive. I barely noticed Fang walking down the street, watching carefully as a larger boy passed him. Then he met a girl- with red hair. Lissa? Snarl.

"Hey, Justin. What's up?" Fang smiled and looked up at the sky. He grabbed her by the waist and kissed her lips. I glared fiercely, but didn't speak.

"Nothing, but the sky. What about you?" As if she didn't have the same 'up' as everyone else.

"Oh, I've only got tickets to THREE DAYS GRACE!!" She shouted in his face, causing him to back up a minute. Then he grinned.

"You got the tickets?!" He was excited about something that wasn't kicking Eraser and/ or Flyboy ass. How weird. Where were his wings, any way? Is that what the guy meant by the fact that I'd never been born in this universe? That they wouldn't have been experimented on? Well I figured that one out for myself, thank you very much.

"Yup, and they're right in front of the stage. I can't WAIT. Oh I just heard from Steph that she would be there with all of her friends, and that Joan would be taking her big brother, and he is having a keg party afterwards, and I just can't wait to go." Fang got this look on his face that said he never agreed to go to said keg party.

"Lily, I don't really want to go to the-""Oh, Justin, just because you're there, doesn't mean you actually have to drink." The glint in her dull green eyes told me differently. I watched Fang's reaction. He finally sighed.

"Okay.""Great! And I cannot wait to get new clothes! You're not wearing that, are you?" She asked, looking him up and down. He was wearing a POISON shirt, and some black jeans.

'What's wrong with that you whore?' I thought, glaring hard. I moved my hand, then realized what I did, and yelped in shock. "I CAN MOVE!" I shouted, knowing they couldn't hear me.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?""Well…""It's fine- I'll change. Into something for a party, I presume?" He smiled at her.

"Yup. Hey, I've got to meet Cathy at the mall. I'll see you later. Why don't you go get your outfit ready?""Sure. See you." He kissed her again, watching her go. A little while later, we were suddenly in a ware house. Iggy was sitting next to Fang. I watched in surprise. Fang was RANTING to Iggy. He seemed so… happy. It was happy ranting. "We're going to the Three Days Grace concert. I thought she didn't even like that kind of music. Me gusta la musica de rock, mucho." He nodded. "That's good. Hey, have you seen the-" Fang handed Iggy a green piece of wire. "Look, I know you're just perfectly happy and whatever, but I've really got to get back to the hospital." Fang looked surprised.

"Why?" Iggy gave him a death glare that could have melted the skin off of any whitecoat's face.

"Because my sister is dying. Don't you listen to anything?""Yeah, I listen. I just…well I haven't had time to…""It's fine. I'm happy for you, really, I am. I just have other things to worry about.""Are you happy at least a little bit, though? Your mom hasn't quit her job yet, and your still being fed?""What are you, my mother? Yeah, we still have food at the house, things are great. Except my sister. Will isn't taking it well." "He's only eight. He'll be okay.""Yeah, I know, but the kid has been spoiled all his life. He doesn't know hard ship.""You barely do." At this Iggy grinned.

"I know. Woe is me, having to take the trash out.""Shut up, that was the one time.""You did the same thing last week, too." The guys bantered for a while, while I watched in astonishment. Even when Iggy's sister was dying, they still had a good life. Happy. In the next few minutes, I saw Nudge, who looked happy, healthy, and beautiful. She was with her 'boy friend that isn't her boy friend' and Iggy got all protective. Angel came with Gazzy, and they both looked well groomed, and not sleep deprived. My gut twisted. Oh well. I knew it would be like this, if things had been different. This was nothing to me.

After the concert- which I didn't even get to see!!- I was suddenly in Fang's room, with Lily sitting in Fang's lap. I glared harder. What the hell? Oh- hel-lo. She turned around in his arms suddenly, pushing him down on the bed.

It was clear that they were both pretty wasted. She kissed him sloppily, pushing his shirt off. I watched in disgust. I couldn't move. Again. WTF?? Her shirt was suddenly off, and I was ready to puke in disgust. A pink lacy bra.

"HEY! I really don't want a free porn!! Hello?! Release me now, or when I get out of here, I'll rip your throats out, and your intestine, and whip you with them!!" I screamed, trying to shut my eyes.

"That didn't work the way it was supposed to.""What are you talking about? I knew that was probably like what would have happened if I hadn't been created." I snarled at the whitecoat. "Well, your friend is quite intellectual. Here's a new universe. You have been born, but we didn't experiment on you. And…" He started laughing. "Your friend knows something's wrong. Isn't that great? He would be perfectly happy if he didn't know you. But this is something like what's going to happen eventually, only as mutant freaks. Because he can't handle this. He knows you, now, but you don't speak." They quickly shot me up with another syrup, and I was out. Again. Damnation.

Now I was slowly floating towards Fang. Only this time, instead of being very happy, being bright, or meeting some girl, he was smoking, standing on a street corner. His eyes had bags under them, and he looked pissed. Or sad. Either way, it wasn't happy. I saw myself, skinny, underweight, depressed, and bruised- much like I look now- walk past him. He nodded at me, but then kept waiting. A car came and picked him up. "Dude what's up with you lately?" The driver asked.

"I don't know. Something isn't right. It feels like someone is watching me lately.""You're just getting paranoid about the cops." The guy said, turning a corner. Fang shook his head.

"No, this is not like that. It feels like…I'm missing something important.""You watching Lifetime again?" "Shut up, and no I'm not watching Lifetime, John." Fang snarled. "But seriously, something is wrong. I feel…" This John reached over and snatched Fang's wrist, flipping it up. An array of cuts- too deep to be petty cuts- were all over his arm. John stopped the car."You're cutting again?""Yes." Fang said with his chin up. John's surprisingly blue eyes were sad now. "You're…going to…tonight?"

"Going to what?" Fang said, not meeting his eyes.

"You know what." But I didn't. He was going to cut again tonight? He was going to run away tonight?"Yes, I am. I just…I don't really like this feeling. I've never feared it anyways. Why fear it now? Plus, you won't tell anyone.""Who says I won't?""Please, John, I can't take any more trouble from them. It's easier. Everyone's lives will be so much better.""You're my little brother, Jack. How am I supposed to let you do that?" Well that's not really what I was expecting. I watched as Fang stared at his shoes, then at the welts in his arms, then at his brother."You just have to trust me. No one but you will even notice. Please." Now he was begging."Alright, but…at least leave a note.""I am not. I will not. That just sends the message that I want someone to stop me. I don't.""Fine. Don't." John snapped, throwing the car into drive and speeding down.

I was suddenly in Fang's room again, only it was very different from the other room. He had so many sharp objects everywhere. Bloodied towels littered the floor, and smears of blood were on the walls. His window had a smear of it on it, too. That shows how much people care about the people living in the run down houses. Fang was shaking. His entire body. He had tears in his eyes. He was holding a elementary school yearbook, looking at the fifth graders. "Abigail Fields." He murmured, tapping a picture of me, much healthier, and younger. I was smirking at the camera with a 'you can't break me' look. I was stubborn then, obviously. He tossed it to the side, running a bloody hand through his hair. He'd already cut his own wrist. I glared at him.

"Oh, Fang, you idiot." I murmured, knowing somehow that this version of Fang would hear me."What?" he asked, sounding broken.

"You heard me. You're an idiot." "Don't start. I have to deal with all of this." He snarled, and then he dropped to his knees. To my surprise, next to him was a knife, already bloody, and a pen and paper.

For Johnny.

Well, you told me to write a letter. I wasn't going to, but I don't think I was going to leave without saying good bye, at least. That girl that we see everyday, please give her the other letter. Her name is Abby. She was in our school since at least fifth grade. Be nice. She could have stopped this. And bro, you've always taken care of me. Thanks. Love you.

I watched in horror as he started writing another letter to this Abby.

Abby.

I know you probably don't remember me, and probably don't want to read a letter from a suicidal maniac, but listen to this, please.

I hear your voice sometimes. Sometimes it's telling me to calm down- other times, when I cut, it tells me that I'm stupid, and that I should stop. Do you ever feel like things should be different? Like in another life we'd be close friends? If not, then maybe I deserved to die. I just can't live with this confusion. I can't live another day seeing you walk down the street and knowing that those bruises came from your father. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry that I never had the balls to tell anyone. I just figured that if you wanted help, you'd ask for it. I didn't realize that you just COULDN'T until my father came back from Georgia. Why don't you tell someone? Please, help yourself. I couldn't, but maybe you can.

-Jack.

I stared in horror at his short suicide letters. He wouldn't. He couldn't- he was Fang. He didn't believe in that. Did he? But I watched as he picked up the knife and slit his wrists, clearly deeper than he ever had, seeing as he hissed in pain. Splashes of blood got on John's letter. Fang looked regretful about that. I felt bad too. Imagine what it would do to an older sibling, who thought they couldn't stop their younger one from killing themselves- to get a letter from them with blood on it. I was crying while Fang dug the knife into his stomach. But he wasn't finished.

"FANG! Stop it!" I yelled, my knees giving. He brought he knife to his chest- but not his heart- and dug it in slowly, blood spewing from it slowly, seeping down his shirt. I shivered. "No…please…Fang, you can't!" I cried, shaking all over. His hands shook as he drew a shallow X across his chest. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT? YOU IDIOT!!" I yelled at him, but that didn't stop him from plunging the hunting knife into his own throat. He would drown in his own blood. I cried, banging the floor weakly with my fists.

"That's enough. Don't you see, Maximum? If you leave him, he won't kill himself. Because that's what WILL happen if you don't save the world. It will begin to be too much for him. All of them. Would you like to see how Iggy and Nudge kill themselves? It's quite creative.""You're going to kill them if I don't leave." I coughed, trying to stand up."Oh, yes." He smiled at me, jerking me into standing position.

"I'll leave. Just leave them alone. Don't even think about them again, and I'll do what ever you say." I said shakily, glaring at him. He nodded.

"Do we have a deal, Maximum Ride?" He asked me, watching for any signs of a ploy. I shivered. "Yes. Yes, we have a deal." "Good. We'll know if you're with them because we put a tracker in you. Of course, we won't be telling you where it is. It's not in your wrist, so don't even think about it. Just go." I nodded and walked out the door they had shown me. I didn't fight- I didn't protest, I didn't even disagree once. I just did exactly what they said to do. Because I would never be as strong as my Fang. That's okay though. I can be as strong as myself.

I flew slowly, not quite as fast as I should have, and for a few hours. I was getting tired, and it was getting really dark when I saw a fire down in the conveniently placed forest below me. I slowly dropped down, hoping it wasn't campers, or something. Nope- my faithful Fang. Instead of saying anything to him, I just dropped beside him, and hugged him hard. He was surprised, but hugged me back.

Into my hair, he breathed, "You're leaving, aren't you?""Yes." I whispered."Why?""I can't say." I murmured. I felt him nod. "I get it. Don't let them control you, Max. We can all handle ourselves, but only you can handle all of us, the whitecoats, yourself, and the world." I felt him smile against my neck.

"I know. Thanks." I whispered. I thought I was being nicer about it than Fang had been- he'd been mean about it. He probably was thinking the same thing."No chance of beating it, this time? No chance of finding a way for you to come back?""Nope." I sighed. We didn't let go of each other, just sat like that. "I guess you have to do what you have to do.""Yeah- Fang please take care of them.""I will. And take care of yourself, 'kay?""I will." I shivered more, spreading my wings out a little. Fang pulled away from our embrace for a second, looking at me. His hand brushed across my cheek bone. "You're not coming back, even when you're done, are you?""No." I whispered, feeling tears spring to my eyes. 'Don't you dare cry, or I swear-' How could I threaten myself? It just felt good to yell at myself for doing something this stupid. Fang leaned closer to me.

"I…don't want to never see you again, Max." "This is better." I whispered, leaning closer to him. What am I doing? I'm just going to hurt myself. But that didn't stop me from leaning towards him and pressing my lips to his. He seemed surprised, but kissed me back. I was now scared, and knew that it'd be even harder to leave.

"Fang, I have to…"

"I know. Don't leave yet." He whispered against my cheek. "But they're tracking me.""They'll give you time to get away. I'm being stubborn and don't believe you…" he was making up a story for me. DUHFLKASFJLADS was basically all I could think at the moment.

"Fang, please…" I murmured, hearing my own tears falling off my face. He felt them.

"It's going to be okay, Max. We'll make it okay. Just do what you have to do. We'll fix it after that." I started to shake my head, but he caught my chin. "Don't be a pessimist. That's my job. Things can go uphill- especially when we can't get any farther down." I let my eyes drop to our knees, just barely brushing against each other. "Thanks, Fang. I really have to get going, now." "Bye, Max." He whispered.

3 years later ( I know, I'm sorry.)

I looked at my work, realizing that people would probably give up sooner or later. But they were doing pretty damn good right now. Cleaning up after themselves, cleaning up after other people, taking care not to cause too much chaos. In the past three years I'd been telling people about the end of the world, telling them that if they didn't hurry up and clean up, they'd be killed. I over exaggerated a little bit. But two years ago, our gas supplies started running out. Now the only things allowed to use gas are busses- school busses- and air lines. Things that transport a lot of people at once. Cars are either electronic, charged you know, or people just walk where they need to go. That's just it.

As for the flock…well I haven't seen them since I said goodbye to Fang. Now I was going around trying to find my mothers house, just to see if they were okay. I wouldn't go back- I'd seen and felt and dealt with too many things to go back and feel normal, that or they wouldn't accept me- but I would just see if they're still healthy and happy. Maybe then I'd be able to find something else worth my time. These people don't care.

I flew over the School, and the place they held me captive that damn day where they convinced me it would be better to leave my family. They were demolished. Yes, Itex, and all of the other branches of it were destroyed. Gone. But out there somewhere were some of the sick minded jerks who still wanted to bring it back. We would never get peace. I spotted my mothers house, but it was empty. Gone. Well…It was the first time in the three years that I felt like staying still, but I did. I started unpacking the backpack of things I'd collected over the three years and sat on my mothers old couch. I could tell- with a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach- that A) there had been a fight, a struggle here when they left. And B) it'd been a few years ago when it happened. I hadn't been here to protect them. They were probably dead. I bit my lip as it trembled, and felt like crying. Instead I stared at my stuff. A blanket. Small pillow. And the one thing that made me cry every time I saw it.

A newspaper. The headline said:

Flying kids spotted in Arizona, laughing, flying and acting like kids.

Mutant freaks, or a ripple in genetics?

Dangerous creatures, or just children?

So they had been spotted and now they were gone. I had to tell my self that all the time, so I wouldn't cry. I sniffled, and pulled out a small iPod that someone had lost. They had an okay taste in music, but it was dead by now. It looked like the one Fang hand at some point. I stroked the black case, and set it down. And then I saw it. A picture of the flock, my sister-half sister- my mother, and Jeb. I let the tears flow then, my shoulders shaking. Fang is always so much stronger than me.

"Why can't I be like you, huh? Why is it always me crying like a baby?!" I demanded, sobbing. My chest hurt. Finally, I closed my eyes and lay down, too tired to care whether THEY found me, or if they killed me, or if someone came and robbed me. I just wanted to sleep and forget about it all.

"Finally. I thought she'd never stop anywhere."

"Yeah, I thought we'd be falling behind for years.""Not a good joke, Iggy. Not good at all." That was Ella's voice. And before that Iggy's. And before that Nudge. I closed my eyes tighter, curling into a ball. I couldn't handle nightmares, now.

"Kids, let's go into the kitchen." My mother's voice said softly.

"It's been so long since we were here. I bet she was worried when she saw what we did to the house. But none of us were hurt." I heard footsteps receding, and my first reaction was to beg them not to go, but instead I just lay there, waiting for someone to wake me up. Then I felt it. A strong, muscular, slightly rough hand stroking my cheek- my hair away from my eyes. I looked up into Fang's dark eyes, feeling tears fall from my eyes.

"You're awake. You're safe." He whispered, as if reading my mind. "How do I know?" I breathed, staring at him. "We never left you, Max," he said, stroking my cheek. "I just wish you would have gone slower.""Sorry." I whispered through my tears."I though I'd never see your eyes again." he sighed, putting his face in the crook of my neck. He sat me up, and sat next to me, but didn't let me go. I finally realized he was hugging me, and hugged him back. "They missed you so much. I thought I'd never get Angel to talk again.""What?" I asked, but I couldn't work the right tone of worry or concern into my voice. All I wanted to do was sit with Fang and never move again. At least, I thought so, until my little Angel- nine years old now- came running out of the kitchen and jumped onto my lap, sobbing. I shushed her, combing my fingers through her curls slowly. Then the entire flock was on me suddenly, hugging me, crying, squeezing, kissing my cheeks. By entire flock, I mean Ella and my mother too. Fang was the only one sitting perfectly still. I was crying with them all.

Finally we were all just holding each other. Ella and my mother were here, too. Apparently they had destroyed the house in an effort to make it look like they were taken by force so no one asked questions. They had been following way behind me for a few years. It made me a little guilty, but they kept reminding me that it was their own choice to follow me. Secretly, it didn't help, but it was nice to see their dirty, slightly older faces again. Fang looked at me, and I thought for a second that his eyes didn't look any different. Then I realized that, yes, something was different. It looked- yes I realize how cheesy/ weird this is- like something had been broken before, or destroyed, or hurt badly, and now it looked slightly…maybe bandaged? And I realized in that moment, that they weren't exactly hurting me as bad as they'd hurt Fang. They'd practically destroyed him, while I only had to save the world. I leaned my head on his shoulder, whispering soft 'I'm sorry' s. He kept shaking his head. "Max, do you promise you'll never leave again?" Nudge demanded, glaring at me. I smiled at her.

"I promise- trust me, I'll never do that again. One wrong turn and suddenly I'm on a plane with some guy named Paco who's coming with me to Porta Rica in a chicken crate." They laughed at my dorky joke. I gave mom a look, something along the lines of 'could we have a bit of privacy?' and she gave it.

"Okay, kids, let's get to the rooms. Tomorrow we have CLEANING DUTY!" She called out, earning groans from the younger ones, and sighs from Iggy and Fang. Angel and Gazzy trudged up the stairs together, then Ella, Iggy, and Nudge. Mom kissed my head and walked away, leaving Fang and me alone.

"I'm sorry, for leaving…for you following me…for everything." I said quietly, leaning on him. He put his arm hesitantly around my shoulders, making my face flush a little.

'It's okay- it wasn't really a choice, was it?" He meant for both of us.

"I guess not." "So how'd they convince you to leave?" Should I tell him? He never told me. But that's how our relation ship had always been- I told him everything, and he told me just the bare essentials to protect my mind.

"They told me…showed me…you." I said quietly. His arm tightened, and I saw recognition in his eyes. "But you weren't happy. At all. You killed yourself. And they told me that you would do that here, sometime. If I stayed with you, and kept putting all this stress on you." I whispered, shaking. He turned me to face him, glaring hard. "Don't ever think that. I'll never do anything that stupid, got it? And you're not putting too much stress on me, okay? We equal it out." He grinned, letting me go. But I didn't turn away, or face forward again. I just looked at him. Yeah, they'd destroyed him.

Scratch that. It'd been me. I'd told him that I had to leave. I let him think that I'd finally came around to those dark kisses of his, and then I left, and never even looked back. I'd completely abandoned him, and didn't even realize that I'd destroyed my best friend in the same way he'd destroyed me three years, two months, eighteen days ago. Yeah, I counted. Suck it.

"Max?" Fang asked, sounding slightly worried. "Yeah, Fang?" I asked, looking at him hard, as if trying to see something. Meh. It'd been there since we were fourteen and a half, waiting for me to recognize it. "Just making sure you're okay." "I'm just fine." I said quietly, leaning forward and kissing him gently, as he did to me when I left. I felt so bad about that, my friends, is how to destroy one of the strongest people in the world. That is a step by step manual on how to do so. But I don't suggest you do, or I'll break your face.

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Sorry it's so out of character, and sorry about the three years later thing. I couldn't think of where to end it, so sorry if you think it's too long. My internet is off right now, as I'm typing this, so it's gonna be a while. I'm very sorry for the wait, and for all of my Spawn readers, there will be more up as soon as this is up. Strength and love- Izzy