The cold night air hurted her lungs. She had come out of her tent, because she was afraid to fall asleep. Whenever she was drifting in her unconsciousness, the demons from the past would come out to play with her mind. The same dreadful memories would appear before her, as if she was right in it. Like a horrific movie that she couldn't pause or stop.
A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked at the wooden cross that marked their graves. Only one week had passed since the ambush, yet it still felt like yesterday.
There was no point in drowning in self pity, but she did it anyway. If it wouldn't be for her, these people wouldn't have died. They would still be alive.
Harley sighed and turned around. Her tent wasn't very far, though the others had set up their camp about 2 miles away from hers. Martinez understood that Harley needed time to process and mourn. Steve had been one of her closest friends; Harley had opened up to Steve about some things that had happened to her, and he had listened to everything she had told him. He had comforted her in times of need. They were like a brother and sister to eachother. Steve had been so young.. Maybe only a few years younger than herself. Wiley was only around his mid thirties.
It wasn't fair.
Once she reached her tent, she unzipped the opening and went inside. Even though she was wearing a legging under her pants and 3 t-shirts, she was still freezing. Winter was near, which didn't make a zombie apocalypse any easier.
Harley forced herself to stay awake, but she hadn't slept properly in 3 days. Exhaustion was a dangerous thing, especially in today's world where you had to be cautious, let alone have a strong body.
Figthing against the sleep and weariness was hard, and she eventually lost the battle. When her eyes were closed, she immediately went into dreaming mode, meaning that ofcourse the nightmares filled her head again.
She woke up sweating and panting heavily. A hand pushed her down into the matress. "Sssh, jus' a goddamn dream. Calm down."
Harley didn't have to ask who it was, because she already knew the answer. It had been like this for a while now; during the day they would ignore eachother, though when Daryl heard her scream he was there when she'd wake up. He would stay, until she drifted off into a dreamless sleep again. It made things more complicated, especially since thee kiss from last week.
This can't keep happening, she thought bitterly as she closed her eyes again. The sooner she pretended to be asleep, the sooner he would leave again. He was like a ghost, slipping through her fingers whenever she tried to reach out to him. Daryl wasn't good at comforting and she sure as hell didn't want his comfort, but he was pushing her buttons and getting on her nerves.
The worst part was, that Daryl knew it. He knew, that whenever she laid eyes on him, she was longing for his rough hands on her hips. He knew that she was dying to suck on his lower lip. He knew that Harley wanted to grab a handful of his hair while clinging to his body. And Harley knew, that he wanted the exact same thing.
Daryl had been clear about them; it wasn't going to work. She accepted it, while she knew in the back of her head that he was just scared. He could scream all he want, about how he didn't care about her, but she felt his gaze on her back whenever they were out on a run. He wanted to protect her. And Harley felt safe, knowing that he was watching her. Maybe that was just all she needed right now; someone to care.
"I know yer ain't asleep, girl. I ain't stupid."
Harley grunted and turned around to face Daryl. "Just go." she mouthed with a scowl as she continued to shiver from cold. Daryl snorted loudly. "So I can sit there 'n wait 'till those dead freaks 'r comin' ta eat ya 'cuz of yer screamin'? I don' think so." he grumbled in response as he shifted uncomfortable on his knees. Harley grinded her teeth. "I don't need your protection. I never asked for it." she said calmly as she turned her back to him. Eventually, she heard how he left her tent, zipping the entrance behind him.
The bright sunshine awakened her. Harley groaned and turned around, still tired from the lack of sleep. Though she knew she had to get up anyhow so they could continue the traveling. She was already tired of the idea of having to flee for those bastards, but she understood why they had to do it.
After she had changed into a tight jeans, her combat boots and a jumper, she got out of her tent. Clouds covered the bright sky and Harley dearly hoped it wouldn't rain.
She walked towards the dark green tent and cleared her throat to announce her presence. Hershel was already inside and smiled as soon as he noticed Harley. "You can have breakfast first, I'll do it." she offered with a soft smile. Hershel nodded and stood up to leave. When they were alone, Harley sat down next to him.
"Thanks." Rick said as he looked at her, with a tired expression on his face. He had lost a lot of weight. "It's alright. I'm the reason why you're laying here anyway." she said, barely hearable as she grabbed bandage and alcohol. Suddenly, a hand closed around her wrists. "Don'tcha ever say that again." Rick growled as he squeezed her. Harley avoided his judgemental glance. "It ain't yer fault, so stop tryin' tha put this on you. Ya didn' ask for this ta happen." he continued with a more gentle tone. Harley nodded slowly as Rick let go of her. She started to unwrap the bandage on his shoulder. "If I could do it all over again, I'd do it exactly tha same. I'd take ya in and let ya be a part of our group. 'Cuz that's what ya are Harley, a part of our group. Don'tcha ever forget that."
Harley smirked and made eye contact with Rick. She mouthed a thank you as she continued to change his bandage. "We're a family now, 'n ya protect yer family no matter what."
