He Screamed Your Name
A/N: Ok, this isn't a very "innocent" fic, it has a bit of sexual contact (nothing detailed, don't worry) in it, and a lot of angst. Please keep in mind that this takes place when the Digidestined are older. Please no flames!!! So turn back now!! K? K. Well, my fellow Taiora fans, please don't abandon me!! It'll be alright at the end, promise. You'll laugh! Um, hopefully anyway. -looks nervously around room, coughs- I'll never, ever stray away from Taiora, I love that couple way too much, and I believe they were meant for each other. Lots o' evidence points to it, plus my own connections in Japan say so. And I absolutely hate Matt and Sora being romantically involved, that's why I wrote this. But I do think that they could be good friends, since they both really adore Taichi! ^_^ Anyway, enjoy, as much as it may suck, k? Arigatou mina-san!!
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Sora sighed, dispirited. "I wish you could've come with me, Tai. Why do you have to go to your Grandmother's house on Halloween?"
Tai sighed as well. He wished he would've been able to go as well. A couple of the seniors from their school were throwing a Halloween party for the upper classmen, and it really would've been great to go with his two best friends. "You know my grandma gets all freaked out the night of Halloween, Sora."
"Yeah, I know..."
"But you'll be fine, just go with Matt. He was gonna come with us anyway, remember? I already told him that I wouldn't be able to go, and he said it was fine. Just that he'd be the one driving now." Sora peered at him over her shoulder, one of her eyebrows rising in a questioning manner. Tai stopped packing his bag long enough to laugh and defend himself. "It's not that I don't trust you driving or anything. Heh heh."
"Well, whatever, it's just that- well I guess I really wanted to go with you is all." Sora blushed slightly and moved toward the door, preparing to leave. Tai's family was already piled into their Toyota mini-van, Kari and T.K. sharing the back-seat, since Kari insisted that they bring T.K. along. All they were waiting for was Tai.
Tai stood up and walked to the door to open it, leading himself and Sora onto the walkway outside his apartment, then locking the door behind him. Embracing Sora, he said to her in a light manner, "Come on, you can pry yourself away from my legs for one night. It won't be too traumatic for you." Then he slowly winked at her.
Sora sighed exasperatedly. "Yeah right, Tai. I guess your head is getting too big for your brain now. I think it's you who'd be the one not able to survive a night without ME." She couldn't help but giggle in delight when his eyes suddenly went twice the size of his head. But then he laughed again and slowly kissed her goodbye. Sora sighed again, this time in contentment. "Sayonara, Tai. Have fun without me."
Tai smiled in his sexy, innocent way. "You do the same. Only not too much fun, not with Matt by your side. He'll report to me any misbehavior, you hear?" Sora laughed again and gave him a mock-military bow. Then she watched her best friend since eight run down the stairs to his family as if he were still a child, thinking how he'll never run out of energy.
+†+ That afternoon +†+
"You gonna be okay tonight, honey?" Sora's mother frantically tried to throw everything she needed to survive for a week away from home into a little suitcase as she dashed around the apartment she and her daughter shared.
"I'll be fine, Momma. Tell me again, where are you going?" Sora knew that question would keep her mom from fretting about her.
"Oh, something about a larger corporation connecting to smaller businesses, then finding links for those smaller businesses, then joining them together to help pull in more money for advertising and marketing. I figured as small as our little struggling flower shop is, it might do some good to be connected with a large corporation like that, so when I got a call earlier today, I just had to jump at the chance, you see?"
Sora looked to the side, a sweatdrop forming. "Um, well, kind of. I didn't take marketing in school like the author did..."
"What was that?"
Sora looked back up. "Oh, nothing. I'll take your word for it." She smiled cheerfully at her mother.
The older Takenouchi narrowed her pretty almond eyes at her daughter, then went over to the couch to kiss her on the forehead. "Have a nice time tonight, okay? But I'm warning you, don't you dare bring any boys home..."
Sora cut her off in shock. "Mom!!"
She backed up and pretended to cough. "Not naming any names or anything."
Sora jerked her head to look at the ground, blushing furiously. "Tai's not even going. He had to go with his parents to his grandma's house to spend the night, so there."
Sora's mom brightened cheerfully, her worries gone. "Well, that's good then. I'll see you in about a week or so. Ja ne, honey. Gotta catch the plane." And with one last kiss on the forehead, Ms. Takenouchi was gone, and Sora was free from embarrassment...
+†+ That night +†+
"Hey Sora! Hurry it up, I don't want us to be so late that we miss the entire thing!" Matt yelled from downstairs outside Sora's apartment. Sora grumbled, gave her hair one last flick, and stood back to admire her outfit. She was supposed to be a playboy bunny, but she had covered herself up with her long black trench coat so that the only indication of the bunny was the ears and the collar. She shrugged. That was the way she liked it. She finally dashed outside, slamming the door shut behind her when she heard the impatient honking downstairs right outside.
"Okay, okay, enough already! I'm coming, Matt," she flared. Walking to his side, she noticed that he was dressed in a nice white dress suit with a white hat to top it off. "Who are you, a pimp?" She couldn't help but cover her mouth and snicker a little. Matt flashed her his famous cold stare.
"I'm Lou Bega, is that okay?"
"That American guy? Yeah. Actually, I like it." Sora fingered the lapel of the suit a bit. "The fabric has a nice feel. Where did you get this?"
Matt shrugged. "It was just laying around." He started around to the driver's side of his rusty white camaro, and Sora hopped into the passenger side. "I'm not big on dressing up too much on holidays like these."
"Yeah, me neither."
Matt peered at her through the corner of his eye. "Oh? I can tell. So you just decide to come UNDERdressed, right?"
"I have a coat on," Sora said in defense, "and I don't plan to take it off. And don't look at me like that. Tai knew this was what I was planning to dress up as."
"But I bet that Tai was planning to be around when you were dressed up right?"
Sora crossed her arms. "So what are you saying about me? That I'm a dirty little tramp?"
Matt sighed as they reached the school and pulled into its parking lot. The party was being held in the activity building and had already started. "Awe, I was just joking with you, Sora. You know you're one of my best friends, and I wouldn't put you down like that."
"I know you were kidding, so was I. Don't worry about it. Besides," she continued smiling, "you better not put me down!" She slugged him lightly on the arm before jumping out of the car and slamming the door shut. Matt got out as well and rubbed his shoulder.
"Don't do that, I'm sensitive," he pouted at her. She laughed at him.
"Whatever, Matt, you've been hit more times that can be counted on both hands in this month alone. Many of which were given to you from Tai, so don't give me that 'I'm so sensitive' speech. You've been hit by him more times than I've been." Matt then laughed at her, and slugged her lightly back on her arm.
"Well, you ready to have some good adult fun now?"
"Hell yeah! Bring on the alcohol!" Sora laughed once again and both she and Matt entered the building, prepared to have the time of their lives and an experience they won't soon forget, not even stopping to think how much they'd wish they could forget the events of that night when the morning came.....
+†+
Hours later, when the night was beginning to brighten with the depths of midnight closing in on Halloween, the party was still going, the people still brewing and dancing and, some, falling over drunk. Sora leaned against the cold wall, her hand resting gently on her aching skull. She didn't actually think there would be any liquor, she'd only been joking. Matt was one of the them who were drunk, she knew. Though she'd had a bit to drink, the cause of her pounding headache, and her vision was blurry, she knew she saw him in the middle of the dance floor, making a total fool of himself. Not that it mattered to all of the other drunken slobs around her, who still hung around to see how much alcohol they could hold and who could make the bigger fool out of themselves. Luckily, Matt was really level-headed by nature, so, even being drunk, he knew when it was time to quit.
When he finally sauntered over to Sora's side, swaying a bit and pushing off the moron who was trying to slobber on Sora's shoulder, she smiled gratefully, knowing it was time to go home. Little did she know that her smile made her look like an idiot, and the guy that was drunkenly trying to hit on her paused to see her expression.
"Awe man! Leafing awreeaady?" he stated, slurring his speech. "Come on, don't let thisf thsissy boy be yo man. Come with me!" He then started laughing madly.
Sora couldn't help but laugh as well. She was, after all, a bit clouded herself. "Baka!" she then screamed. "I have a boyfriend! Matt's my best friend!" The guy then peered at Matt.
"Matt? Hey Matt!! You rock! Come haaave a drink with me and my dudes!"
Matt laughed in an unnatural way. "No way man! I'm leaving. You're a loser." Matt draped his arm around Sora's shoulder and smiled to her ear. "Come on, feind, let's go."
Sora laughed. "You forgot the 'r' stupid." She and Matt made their way through the croud and out into the night. Slowly, step by step, she helped Matt keep his feet all the way to his car. Sora squinted as she held onto Matt, trying to find the door handle on the driver's side, groping for it as she let go of Matt for a few moments so he could try and regain his footing himself. But it was hopeless for him. As soon as he took two steps away from Sora, he fell to the pavement, dirtying his nice white suit. Sora turned back and squinted at the heap on the ground, and realized that they'd forgotten his hat somewhere inside. But before she could think more of it, she realized how drunk they both were.
"Oh no..." she mumbled, raising her hands to her head to rub it, as if that would relieve it of the achiness and cloudiness within it. She then observed Matt on the ground, groping and clawing for something that wasn't there, but was sure it would be. Matt was even more drunk than she, and she knew that he definitely would not be remembering anything in the morning, much less be able to drive himself home safely. Sora kneeled down beside him, though she was unsteady herself, and did her best to lift him up.
"Matt, Matt, come on. Get up. What are you looking for?" Sora got him up enough for him to support himself against the car, and he automatically rested his head against the cold metal.
"My keys," he whispered, closing his eyes to the relief of the coolness soothing his head. Sora reached down into his pocket and pulled them out, and unlocked the door herself. Slowly, and gently, she pushed Matt inside and over to the next seat, then unsurely sat in the driver's seat. She had no choice though. She was the only one who'd even come close to not getting them both killed on the way home. So, cautious and terribly anxious, she turned the key in the ignition and started the car....
Going at about 20 miles an hour, Sora praised her luck at the street being completely deserted, and finally pulled into the parking space in front of her building. The car was about a meter away from the curb, and it had taken a 10 minute drive about half an hour to get there, but Sora praised her luck at getting them both to her home safely and un-arrested.
Still cloudy, and a little shaken up at her terror at having to drive home, Sora stepped woozily out of the car and went around to Matt's side. Opening the door, he fell out into her arms and threw his feet onto the ground, doing his best to stand right. When Sora pulled him onto her arm, he looked at her curiously.
"You're not driving home like this Matt. You can stay with me, okay?" Matt tried to shove her off of him in disgust, but he almost dropped to the ground with the effort, and he couldn't bring himself to move his lips to argue with her about driving himself home. So he just let her practically carry him up the stairs to the 3rd floor of her apartment building, and down to her door.
Once inside, Sora kicked the door shut, Matt still on her shoulder, only now he was sputtering drunken slur that was supposed to pass as jokes. Sora, being drunk as well, laughed her head off at him though, not comprehending that she could barely understand what he was saying. Once the drive home was over, she immediately went back to being giddy and unrelented, and she threw Matt down onto the couch. "I'm going to get you a blanket okay?" she said, still laughing.
Matt jumped back up unsteadily and threw his arms around her neck, his long blonde hair swaying into her face. "You're a really good friend, you know that?" he told her. Sora nodded as she hugged him back, then pushed him back onto the couch.
Somehow, in all the confusion, as Sora shoved Matt down, her feet became tangled with his, and she was pulled down with him, since he hadn't let go. And since Matt had turned at that same moment, Sora fell beneath him as they both hit the couch. Matt ended up laughing, but Sora was uncomfortable when she felt Matt pressing against her when she was in such a state of undress, and being trapped there was no help either. Suddenly, all the fun had gone out of being drunk, especially when she still knew what was going on, just like it had been on that perilous drive home.
Squirming a bit, trying to pry her way out, Sora desperately wished that Matt still had enough sense in him to take note that this was her - Sora - beneath him, and not one of his many girlfriends that adored him and willingly threw themselves at him.
But, just as she she feared, Matt stopped her, held her down not only with his body and arms, but with his piercing blue eyes as well, in which the reflection was gone and there was no hope for him to realize what he was doing before it was too late. And as if to sanctify the terror in her thoughts, Matt leaned down and touched his lips softly to Sora's.
Sora cringed, but couldn't move away. The pounding, aching, throbbing in her head was becoming unbearable. She felt Matt's hands over her wrists and her arms being lifted to rest beside her head, but she couldn't make herself jerk away, as much as she desperately wanted to. Her limbs felt like lead, and she couldn't shake him off so she could lay him down on the couch by himself to dream, and not act out his dream on her. Sora's lips burned as Matt's lips rested on them, and hot tears leaked out of her eyes as she so desperately wanted to move away from this nightmare, but couldn't. Her arms, her body... so heavy.....
She felt the ripping at the back of her costume as Matt yanked it off of her, quietly muttering to her, "You know, you look really nice in this. You look really great tonight, Mikai..." But Sora thought, Please, don't let it be me he's speaking to. That girl, the one he was dancing with at the party, he said those exact same words to her. Oh, God, please let it be her he's seeing. Mikai. He can't be thinking of me, not when his eyes are so clouded. He's seeing Mikai. He wouldn't think of me this way, he couldn't. It's her, it's her, it's her...... More tears slipped out of her own clouded, crimson eyes as Matt did the things to her that only Tai had done before. Her body became paralyzed as she felt Matt's hands travel the length of her abdomen, softly caressing her skin, sending shock waves through her body that she didn't want to feel there. When his hands came to knead on her breasts, she silently screamed a deadly, bloodcurdling scream inside of her head, making it throb even more than it had all night, but her weak, alcohol-induced body wouldn't allow her to stop him.
Matt was drunk, and as painfully obvious as it was to Sora, it wasn't as clear to Matt himself. Sora realized it when she was drunk, and she stopped, but Matt was the type to not realize it until it was too late to control himself. He didn't comprehend anything that was going on around him, much less what he was about to do to his best friend's girlfriend, when she obviously couldn't defend herself in any way. All he saw before him was a beautiful, young, supple body that was his for the taking, not comprehending at all that it belonged to Sora, whom he'd never in a million years ever dream of taking advantage of. But the stupor that alcohol had left him in had obstructed all moralities of his cool mind and clean body, which had never once ravished itself on an unwilling person. Only tonight would that innocence between Matt and Sora be violated...
As the minutes progressed torturingly slow for Sora, it took all of her strength to muster up some possibility of escape, but alas, she found herself almost completely naked, her costume in shreds, her quivering body laying exposed for Matt's violating eyes and lavishing hands, being not those of his, but belonging to the liquor he had consumed only an hour earlier, a lifetime earlier. And finding herself in such a state, there was not much more she could do to prevent the outcome. She was also finding that she could not resist the pleasure taking place in some parts of her. It only made her want to scream and cry that much more, that she should feel such things, as if she were treasoning against Tai, her beloved, betraying him in the worst way possible short of knifing him to death in his sleep.
She felt she was doing as much when she finally succumbed to Matt, the liquid poison inside of her head letting him have his will of her, letting him move inside her in the way that she had only wanted Tai to do, now and forever. Feeling dreadful, though it was nowhere near her fault, Sora closed her eyes to the sight before her so she wouldn't have to see Tai's best friend, her best friend, sharing that same passionate face in which she had seen so many times on Tai, sharing it with and because of her. She refused to admit that this lovemaking was between her and Matt. It just didn't feel right. It would never feel right, and though it was happening right now, in the state of extreme pleasure as it was, it still wasn't right. So Sora did the only thing that would've made sense in this unrealistic world of alcoholic cloudiness and drunken stupor; she closed her eyes and imagined Tai......
As Matt finally reached his peak, Sora felt the relief of it being almost over, and felt something she never expected to feel at the end of what she thought of as an unnatural event; an orgasm. But as the sweat broke out, and both she and Matt screamed into the empty room, it was the name of Sora's true soulmate she screamed out, "Tai...... Oh!!! TAI!!" Her voice was leaded with feelings swimming into her head from all directions - the liquor being tasted, then swallowed down countless times, visions of Tai, of the party, the drunken people around her, the drive home, the horrifying feel of Matt pressing his hard body against hers, but the relief knowing it wasn't really him, knowing if he really knew what he was doing, he would never have thought of such a degrading thing as to sleep with a girl who was only a sister to him, plus the best friend and girlfriend of his best friend.
So as all these thoughts entered Sora's already throbbing head, she just couldn't take the pain, or the pleasure, anymore, and she heard one last word being torn from Matt's lips as he screamed a name that she knew too well before she collapsed back into the couch and passed away into a black, dreamless sleep.
+†+ The Next Morning +†+
Matt slowly, painfully forced his eyes open after a long, hard, and uncomfortable sleep. He automatically felt queasy as soon as his vision focused on the back of the couch, and he squeezed them shut in hopes to pass the nausea faster. His head ached and pounded against his skull, it felt as if it would tear apart if he so much moved it, so he carefully and tenderly pushed himself up onto his arms. He wondered where he was and what had happened at the party last night, and how he had come to spend the night on someone's couch...
That's when he noticed the person lying fitfully asleep beneath him...
"Oh... God...."
Matt's clear, blue eyes widened in horror at the sight he saw before him. Ignoring the terrific pain ripping at his skull, he jerked himself off of Sora, who was lying in a restless sleep in nothing but the rags that remained of her costume. He felt himself flush red with embarrassment at seeing her bare flesh, red with shame at what had obviously happened, which was obviously his fault. Then he paled as he felt sick, his face whiter than what it had already naturally been, a pale bluish color swimming to his once gorgeous visage as he felt the bile rising in his throat, the angry growling in his stomach as it threatened to bring up all that he had consumed the night before. It felt as if it were punishment for the act he had committed upon Sora, his own friend, his best friend's girlfriend.
Racing into the bathroom, crashing into objects along the way in his woozy state, Matt threw himself onto the floor in front of the toilet and brought up everything, pushing it up and forcing it out. Over and over again he heaved the contents in his stomach, wrenching every little bit of the foul taste he had in his mouth, every foul experience he knew he must have experienced with her, though he could not for the life of him recall it happening. Tears painfully squeezed out of his eyes and streamed down his face as he wrenched the stale beverage out of his mouth, noting that he was actually glad he couldn't remember it. Why would he want to remember the heinous act he and Sora had committed together? Just thinking about it again brought fresh vomit pouring out of his mouth.
No, no, no, how could I? How COULD I? How could this happen? What have I done? Why didn't she stop me? Oh no, no, no.... this can't be. Tai is going to kill me....
The torturous thoughts raced inside and outside of his pained head, the waves of nausea finally subsiding. Matt climbed to his feet unsteadily and leaned over the counter of the sink, letting the cold water run over his hands and the rivulets stream down his pale and sore face. He stared into the mirror, his hand running over his countenance. He hardly recognized the face staring back at him. Not when he knew that that face had done so terrible an act of betrayal to Tai. Poor Tai......
Gathering himself, ignoring the throbbing still continuing in his brain, Matt walked slowly into the living room and glanced sorrowfully at Sora, poor, innocent little Sora, sleeping as though she were killing herself inside.
I don't blame you, my friend, he thought, his eyes downcast. Sora, I can't express how sorry I am. Can you forgive me? Will Tai forgive me? More, can I forgive myself? Oh, Sora, will it ever be the same between us after our.... our mistake? Matt swallowed hard, bent to pick up Sora's trench coat that had found itself onto the floor beside her, covered her exposed body, then found some paper and a pen.
Quickly scribbling out a note, a note that held much importance and meaning in the few lines it contained, Matt then walked outside into the cool November morning, the sun not quite up yet as he shivered walking down the three flights of stairs to his car, quickly driving away soon after.
+†+
Sora awoke, squinting her sore eyes into the sunlight that streamed in her window. Groaning as she remembered the events of the night before, she also gagged at the memory and started sobbing her complete frustration into the couch cushions. Sora retched at the horrid taste in her mouth, feeling new tears wash away the old ones, which were now dry streaks on her face. She buried her face into the couch, not able to lift herself quite yet, and she let out the agonizing torture within herself, which could not be let out the night before because the stabilizing drinks she'd had prevented it.
After all the worst had been torn from her, Sora finally pulled herself up onto her knees and observed her surroundings. Luckily, Matt had left after covering her. Though she was grateful for the coat he'd put back on her, she knew she could not bear to look at him for a LONG while. She knew not for how long she could go avoiding him, though she knew that for right now, she didn't want to see him ever again.
Sora was in the shower, letting the scalding water flow over her tainted nakedness. The remains of her costume lay at the bottom of the trash can. Sora had peeled them off and tossed them as soon as she was able to walk around without being overcome with incredible guilt, and she ended up in the shower, turning the hot water on all the way, as hot as it would get without melting her skin off of her bones. The steam felt cleansing, washing away her sin and sanitizing her soul and mind.
She reached for the soap after shampooing and worked the little bar into a frenzy, lather spreading over her hands and arms. She watched in fascination as the soapsuds trickled down, and then she started to frantically rub herself, trying to rid herself of all the grime she felt buried beneath her skin, scrubbing her skin as if trying to tear it off all together. Her nails dug in and raked her arms with angry red lines as she scrubbed, yet she continued scrubbing, all over, ignoring the pain she ravished onto her sensitive body. It didn't phase her one bit. At some point during the course of her shower, she felt she deserved the pain she brought upon herself, and didn't even notice the tears streaming down once again, blurring her vision...
When she was done, she lay wrapped in a soft, down robe on her bed, not moving an inch, waiting for the night to come as she stared blankly up at the ceiling.
+†+
Tai returned late that day of November 1st, and wanted to go see Sora, but an odd feeling decided against it. He decided to wait until Monday, which was only the next day. After all, she was probably exhausted after the weekend, as he was after spending it with his unusually chatty and active grandmother. So waiting to see her at school would not make much more difference.
But it was different than what Tai would've imagined, for Sora was not at school the next day. Or the next day....
By the third day, Tai gave up on trying to call her house and went over right after school, skipping soccer practice. He was worried that something had happened, and he flew up the stairs to her door. Pounding on it, he called out her name in desperation. "Soraaa!! Sora?"
Sora stood on the other side, staring at the inside of the door, listening to Tai's frantic knocking. She heard the desperation in his voice, and panicked, thinking, Oh God, he knows. Matt's told him. He's come to break up with me. He never wants to see my scumbag face again, he'll never forgive me... Just when she thought she'd had nothing left, that she was all dried up, more tears found their way out when she thought of losing Tai. But he deserves better than me. I've... betrayed him. Sobbing silently, Sora forced herself up to the door, and unlocked it.
Immediately, the door burst open, and Tai's arms flew around Sora and tightened her into an embrace. Sora welcomed them, and she so wanted to throw her arms around him and squeeze him into her, letting herself believe him to always be the only one for her, but.... she couldn't. Instead, she backed away and turned around, burying her face in her hands and sobbing some more.
"Sora?"
Sora shook her head, her only answer. Obviously he hadn't found out yet.
"Sora, what is it? Are you sick? You could've called and told me. Or at least answered your own phone for crying out loud." Tai stared at her back, wondering what could possibly be wrong. She didn't look sick, only very distraught. Could something have happened at that party she went to? Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Matt for three days either....
+†+
Matt sat alone on the beach, his arms resting on his knees as he stared out into the calming ocean. The sand beneath him was strangely comforting, and he welcomed it. His camaro was parked behind him. He hadn't been to school, and instead, for three days, he'd come to the beach where it was deserted, so no one could catch him for being truant. His father probably suspected, but he usually didn't care what his son was up to as long as he didn't get caught, so he didn't enforce many rules.
He'd avoided his band for three days as well, and all because of his depression that his mistake had put him in. He wanted to steer clear of everyone for a while, especially Sora. He would be satisfied if he never had to see her again.
But, thinking about it, that would depress him even still. She was his good friend, the girlfriend and best friend of Tai, who was his best friend. And Tai... that's another thing. He wanted to avoid Tai as well, he couldn't avoid one without the other. He actually needed to avoid Tai, he knew what would happen as soon as Tai found out. And he WOULD find out, of that he was certain. Sora couldn't keep it from him, and even if she could, Matt couldn't.
Matt sighed as the salty ocean breeze whipped through his blonde hair, which had been scrubbed clean. The other morning, as soon as he got home, the first thing he did was scrub himself the way Sora had done to herself. In fact, he did it again, twice a day, in the morning before he left, and again at night when he got home, as if to rid himself of all he had been thinking about.
Each day he came to the beach, he had a goal in mind. He would try as hard as he could to remember one detail about what had happened. So far, he had pulled together...... nothing.
Well, he did remember Sora telling him he couldn't drive home, that she was going to let him stay with her. And he remembered telling her that she was a good friend. But how did things unravel from there?
That's when one more memory hit him like a ton of bricks slamming into his face - the name he called out when he was at his climax. His eyes widened with shock when he was absolutely certain what the name was, and he cringed to himself as he couldn't believe this turn of events.
"Oh..... my....... God, no....."
Now he couldn't decide if this was a good thing or bad thing.
+†+
"Sora, are you going to let me help you? Come on, you know I love you. You can tell me anything. What have you been doing all this time? Have you been all by yourself?"
Sora nodded. "My mom left for a week, she'll be back in a few days," she said, barely above a whisper. Tai came up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. Sora flinched at his touch, and Tai blinked in confusion before removing them. Sora started sobbing again. "You're going to hate me, Tai. You are so going to hate me..."
Tai spun her around to face him. "Why would you say that? What did you do?" Sora's watery, bloodshot eyes betrayed her feelings. All she had done for these three days was lay in her bed, staring up at her ceiling. She had only gotten up to change and use the bathroom. When the phone rang, she bleakly stared at it, knowing it was Tai and not feeling ready to face him.
But now, she had no choice. And she couldn't keep it from him any longer. "Tai, I... we, me and Matt..." she started, looking into Tai's serious eyes, which were now narrowed suspiciously. She took a deep breath and continued. "We went to the party, the Halloween party, and there was liquor." Tai nodded, not yet seeing where this was headed. "We got drunk. Matt got so drunk, he didn't even know what he was doing, I swear, Tai, please believe me, he didn't know." Tai let go of her and stepped back, giving her room.
"And what about you? You got drunk?"
"Yes, but Tai, I still knew what was happening. I remembered what happened, though it's still a little blurry. I wasn't so drunk that I was falling over every step like Matt was!"
"Sora, why would I hate you over that?"
"I'm not done Tai..." Tai stopped and waited patiently for her to continue, still suspecting the worst. He had a feeling that both she and Matt would come out looking very bad when she was done. "Tai, I couldn't let him drive home. He would've killed himself."
"Sora, that was sensible, the smart thing to do. So let me guess, he stayed here with you?" Sora nodded slowly. "Mm-hmm. Okay, well, I think I know where this is going." Tai turned around and started heading to the door.
"Tai! Tai, please," Sora stared wistfully after him as he stalked away, then stop to turn back to her. "Please..."
Tai's hands squeezed into fists as he asked, "So you and Matt. You lose sense of reality? Get a little carried away?" He glared accusingly at her. Slowly, faintly, she nodded through her tears. Tai sighed sadly, angrily, and jerked his head around and stared at the floor. "You don't know how much you've just hurt me, Sora. You and Matt."
"Tai, please forgive me! I couldn't live with it if you left me, hated me because of one stupid, idiotic mistake. It was wrong, okay? I knew it, but I couldn't stop him." Sora collapsed onto the floor as she stared at Tai's back, begging him silently to come to her and comfort her. She sobbed her words to him as she explained herself. "I'm so, so sorry. Tai, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am, how stupid and weak I feel right now, how I've felt these past days. I was so under the influence of the alcohol I drank, I was so weak, I couldn't stop him. I tried, oh, God how I tried..."
"So what you're really saying is, he raped you." Tai stated through clenched teeth. His back still coldly face Sora. Her eyes went wide as the meaning of his words sank.
"Oh, Tai, I could say that. But he was so drunk himself. Please don't blame him either. He had no idea what he was doing, I can swear to you that... that he was thinking of," Sora looked away as she said this part, "another." Tai finally turned around to her.
"How do you know this?"
"I know Tai. Please trust me."
"Trust you? Ha!"
"Yes! Trust me! I'm telling you the complete truth right now, I haven't tried to hide it at all!"
Tai stared down at her humiliating form, on her knees practically begging for mercy. "But you avoided me for three days." He started to kneel down beside her.
Sora watched him as he bent down to join her on the floor. "Oh, I just needed time," she said softly. "Tai, I haven't eaten anything, I've only showered once. I haven't seen Matt either." The tears trickled down, and Tai reached up to wipe them gently away. He finally softened when she said, "I cried the whole time. I couldn't stand it, I screamed inside of my head. Please trust me. When the end came, when I had no choice but to feel myself loving it, it was you I thought of. It was your name I screamed." Sora stared wistfully into his eyes, and he stared back into hers.
It was there where he saw the truth. That it truly was a mistake. That neither her nor Matt ever meant for it to happen, that it was completely by an unwilling accident on both parts.
His hand gently cupped her face as Sora smile into him, and she threw herself onto him, wailing her sorrow out into his chest, yet feeling an unbearable relief. When it was over, both she and Tai stood, and Tai stroked her hair. "You know," he said, "I didn't even notice you hadn't bathed until you said so." Sora smiled sheepishly at him through her tears. "Come on, I want you to go shower and change. We'll spend the rest of the day together. How's that? I'll prove to you that I forgive you."
"It sounds wonderful. But what about Matt? What are you going to do about him?"
Tai's gaze hardened. "Don't worry about that. I'LL worry when the time comes, okay?"
"Tai, here. He left this note. He wanted me to tell you this." Sora slipped the note into his hand and backed away, preparing to take her shower as Tai had ordered. Tai read the note.
Sora,
Oh man, I can't tell you how bad
I feel, not to mention how corrupted
and dirtied... and sorry. It's not you,
though, Sora, don't even think for one
minute that it was in any way your fault.
I was an idiot to get drunk and not find
a way home, staying at your place and
letting the alcohol take advantage of you.
Please, tell Tai for me, how sorry I am.
Tell him how much I treasure his friendship,
how much I love the guy. And tell him I'll
talk to him as soon as the time feels right.
And, Sora, you WILL tell him.
Your friend always,
Matt
"Ohhh...." Tai let escape as he dropped the letter onto the ground. Sora watched him curiously, her arms behind her back, knowing something, something she was about to share with him. Tears actually came to his eyes, and he asked her once again, "Sora. You really thought of me? You really called out for me?" Sora blushed and smiled, feeling better than she had for days.
"Yes, Tai. And to prove to you once more that what happened was a mistake, that it was never meant to happen, Matt..."
Tai cut her off, shaking his head furiously, smiling with a pleased expression on his face. "You can stop there. I forgive you Sora, I believe you..."
"But I have to tell you this."
Tai sighed. "I told you, I still have to think about what I'm going to say to Matt. I'm still kind of angry at him, at his stupidity..."
"It's not that."
"Ok, what is it?" Tai couldn't help but be pleased at her persistance, her worry, her fretting to win back his trust, his forgiveness, his belief, when she'd already had all of it the moment she told him she was thinking of him and screaming his name...
Sora turned around and started walking to her bathroom, speaking over her shoulder. "Matt screamed your name too..."
+†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +†+ +† +†+
MWAHAHAHA!! -coughcough- -ahem- Next up--- The Fight!!! heh heh. I get these weird, idiotic ideas.... Okay, anyway, please don't flame, I know it's a bit... well, you know, magoo. But they're supposed to be juniors in high school, and in Japan, I doubt they'd really care if alcohol was brought into a student activity building. They're just really cool like that. But actually, as I was writing this, I noticed what a good message would send. Don't drink and get drunk!!! Bad things can happen, you might not be as lucky as Sora was driving home, and you could really hurt somebody, either physically or emotionally damage them, like sleeping with your best friend/boyfriend's best friend/best friend's girlfriend, so on and so forth. So if kids ignored my warning and are reading this, please take heed this lesson!! k? k. Arigatou for reading, and please review with constructive critiscism, no flaming please. ^_^ Bai bai.
A/N: Ok, this isn't a very "innocent" fic, it has a bit of sexual contact (nothing detailed, don't worry) in it, and a lot of angst. Please keep in mind that this takes place when the Digidestined are older. Please no flames!!! So turn back now!! K? K. Well, my fellow Taiora fans, please don't abandon me!! It'll be alright at the end, promise. You'll laugh! Um, hopefully anyway. -looks nervously around room, coughs- I'll never, ever stray away from Taiora, I love that couple way too much, and I believe they were meant for each other. Lots o' evidence points to it, plus my own connections in Japan say so. And I absolutely hate Matt and Sora being romantically involved, that's why I wrote this. But I do think that they could be good friends, since they both really adore Taichi! ^_^ Anyway, enjoy, as much as it may suck, k? Arigatou mina-san!!
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Sora sighed, dispirited. "I wish you could've come with me, Tai. Why do you have to go to your Grandmother's house on Halloween?"
Tai sighed as well. He wished he would've been able to go as well. A couple of the seniors from their school were throwing a Halloween party for the upper classmen, and it really would've been great to go with his two best friends. "You know my grandma gets all freaked out the night of Halloween, Sora."
"Yeah, I know..."
"But you'll be fine, just go with Matt. He was gonna come with us anyway, remember? I already told him that I wouldn't be able to go, and he said it was fine. Just that he'd be the one driving now." Sora peered at him over her shoulder, one of her eyebrows rising in a questioning manner. Tai stopped packing his bag long enough to laugh and defend himself. "It's not that I don't trust you driving or anything. Heh heh."
"Well, whatever, it's just that- well I guess I really wanted to go with you is all." Sora blushed slightly and moved toward the door, preparing to leave. Tai's family was already piled into their Toyota mini-van, Kari and T.K. sharing the back-seat, since Kari insisted that they bring T.K. along. All they were waiting for was Tai.
Tai stood up and walked to the door to open it, leading himself and Sora onto the walkway outside his apartment, then locking the door behind him. Embracing Sora, he said to her in a light manner, "Come on, you can pry yourself away from my legs for one night. It won't be too traumatic for you." Then he slowly winked at her.
Sora sighed exasperatedly. "Yeah right, Tai. I guess your head is getting too big for your brain now. I think it's you who'd be the one not able to survive a night without ME." She couldn't help but giggle in delight when his eyes suddenly went twice the size of his head. But then he laughed again and slowly kissed her goodbye. Sora sighed again, this time in contentment. "Sayonara, Tai. Have fun without me."
Tai smiled in his sexy, innocent way. "You do the same. Only not too much fun, not with Matt by your side. He'll report to me any misbehavior, you hear?" Sora laughed again and gave him a mock-military bow. Then she watched her best friend since eight run down the stairs to his family as if he were still a child, thinking how he'll never run out of energy.
+†+ That afternoon +†+
"You gonna be okay tonight, honey?" Sora's mother frantically tried to throw everything she needed to survive for a week away from home into a little suitcase as she dashed around the apartment she and her daughter shared.
"I'll be fine, Momma. Tell me again, where are you going?" Sora knew that question would keep her mom from fretting about her.
"Oh, something about a larger corporation connecting to smaller businesses, then finding links for those smaller businesses, then joining them together to help pull in more money for advertising and marketing. I figured as small as our little struggling flower shop is, it might do some good to be connected with a large corporation like that, so when I got a call earlier today, I just had to jump at the chance, you see?"
Sora looked to the side, a sweatdrop forming. "Um, well, kind of. I didn't take marketing in school like the author did..."
"What was that?"
Sora looked back up. "Oh, nothing. I'll take your word for it." She smiled cheerfully at her mother.
The older Takenouchi narrowed her pretty almond eyes at her daughter, then went over to the couch to kiss her on the forehead. "Have a nice time tonight, okay? But I'm warning you, don't you dare bring any boys home..."
Sora cut her off in shock. "Mom!!"
She backed up and pretended to cough. "Not naming any names or anything."
Sora jerked her head to look at the ground, blushing furiously. "Tai's not even going. He had to go with his parents to his grandma's house to spend the night, so there."
Sora's mom brightened cheerfully, her worries gone. "Well, that's good then. I'll see you in about a week or so. Ja ne, honey. Gotta catch the plane." And with one last kiss on the forehead, Ms. Takenouchi was gone, and Sora was free from embarrassment...
+†+ That night +†+
"Hey Sora! Hurry it up, I don't want us to be so late that we miss the entire thing!" Matt yelled from downstairs outside Sora's apartment. Sora grumbled, gave her hair one last flick, and stood back to admire her outfit. She was supposed to be a playboy bunny, but she had covered herself up with her long black trench coat so that the only indication of the bunny was the ears and the collar. She shrugged. That was the way she liked it. She finally dashed outside, slamming the door shut behind her when she heard the impatient honking downstairs right outside.
"Okay, okay, enough already! I'm coming, Matt," she flared. Walking to his side, she noticed that he was dressed in a nice white dress suit with a white hat to top it off. "Who are you, a pimp?" She couldn't help but cover her mouth and snicker a little. Matt flashed her his famous cold stare.
"I'm Lou Bega, is that okay?"
"That American guy? Yeah. Actually, I like it." Sora fingered the lapel of the suit a bit. "The fabric has a nice feel. Where did you get this?"
Matt shrugged. "It was just laying around." He started around to the driver's side of his rusty white camaro, and Sora hopped into the passenger side. "I'm not big on dressing up too much on holidays like these."
"Yeah, me neither."
Matt peered at her through the corner of his eye. "Oh? I can tell. So you just decide to come UNDERdressed, right?"
"I have a coat on," Sora said in defense, "and I don't plan to take it off. And don't look at me like that. Tai knew this was what I was planning to dress up as."
"But I bet that Tai was planning to be around when you were dressed up right?"
Sora crossed her arms. "So what are you saying about me? That I'm a dirty little tramp?"
Matt sighed as they reached the school and pulled into its parking lot. The party was being held in the activity building and had already started. "Awe, I was just joking with you, Sora. You know you're one of my best friends, and I wouldn't put you down like that."
"I know you were kidding, so was I. Don't worry about it. Besides," she continued smiling, "you better not put me down!" She slugged him lightly on the arm before jumping out of the car and slamming the door shut. Matt got out as well and rubbed his shoulder.
"Don't do that, I'm sensitive," he pouted at her. She laughed at him.
"Whatever, Matt, you've been hit more times that can be counted on both hands in this month alone. Many of which were given to you from Tai, so don't give me that 'I'm so sensitive' speech. You've been hit by him more times than I've been." Matt then laughed at her, and slugged her lightly back on her arm.
"Well, you ready to have some good adult fun now?"
"Hell yeah! Bring on the alcohol!" Sora laughed once again and both she and Matt entered the building, prepared to have the time of their lives and an experience they won't soon forget, not even stopping to think how much they'd wish they could forget the events of that night when the morning came.....
+†+
Hours later, when the night was beginning to brighten with the depths of midnight closing in on Halloween, the party was still going, the people still brewing and dancing and, some, falling over drunk. Sora leaned against the cold wall, her hand resting gently on her aching skull. She didn't actually think there would be any liquor, she'd only been joking. Matt was one of the them who were drunk, she knew. Though she'd had a bit to drink, the cause of her pounding headache, and her vision was blurry, she knew she saw him in the middle of the dance floor, making a total fool of himself. Not that it mattered to all of the other drunken slobs around her, who still hung around to see how much alcohol they could hold and who could make the bigger fool out of themselves. Luckily, Matt was really level-headed by nature, so, even being drunk, he knew when it was time to quit.
When he finally sauntered over to Sora's side, swaying a bit and pushing off the moron who was trying to slobber on Sora's shoulder, she smiled gratefully, knowing it was time to go home. Little did she know that her smile made her look like an idiot, and the guy that was drunkenly trying to hit on her paused to see her expression.
"Awe man! Leafing awreeaady?" he stated, slurring his speech. "Come on, don't let thisf thsissy boy be yo man. Come with me!" He then started laughing madly.
Sora couldn't help but laugh as well. She was, after all, a bit clouded herself. "Baka!" she then screamed. "I have a boyfriend! Matt's my best friend!" The guy then peered at Matt.
"Matt? Hey Matt!! You rock! Come haaave a drink with me and my dudes!"
Matt laughed in an unnatural way. "No way man! I'm leaving. You're a loser." Matt draped his arm around Sora's shoulder and smiled to her ear. "Come on, feind, let's go."
Sora laughed. "You forgot the 'r' stupid." She and Matt made their way through the croud and out into the night. Slowly, step by step, she helped Matt keep his feet all the way to his car. Sora squinted as she held onto Matt, trying to find the door handle on the driver's side, groping for it as she let go of Matt for a few moments so he could try and regain his footing himself. But it was hopeless for him. As soon as he took two steps away from Sora, he fell to the pavement, dirtying his nice white suit. Sora turned back and squinted at the heap on the ground, and realized that they'd forgotten his hat somewhere inside. But before she could think more of it, she realized how drunk they both were.
"Oh no..." she mumbled, raising her hands to her head to rub it, as if that would relieve it of the achiness and cloudiness within it. She then observed Matt on the ground, groping and clawing for something that wasn't there, but was sure it would be. Matt was even more drunk than she, and she knew that he definitely would not be remembering anything in the morning, much less be able to drive himself home safely. Sora kneeled down beside him, though she was unsteady herself, and did her best to lift him up.
"Matt, Matt, come on. Get up. What are you looking for?" Sora got him up enough for him to support himself against the car, and he automatically rested his head against the cold metal.
"My keys," he whispered, closing his eyes to the relief of the coolness soothing his head. Sora reached down into his pocket and pulled them out, and unlocked the door herself. Slowly, and gently, she pushed Matt inside and over to the next seat, then unsurely sat in the driver's seat. She had no choice though. She was the only one who'd even come close to not getting them both killed on the way home. So, cautious and terribly anxious, she turned the key in the ignition and started the car....
Going at about 20 miles an hour, Sora praised her luck at the street being completely deserted, and finally pulled into the parking space in front of her building. The car was about a meter away from the curb, and it had taken a 10 minute drive about half an hour to get there, but Sora praised her luck at getting them both to her home safely and un-arrested.
Still cloudy, and a little shaken up at her terror at having to drive home, Sora stepped woozily out of the car and went around to Matt's side. Opening the door, he fell out into her arms and threw his feet onto the ground, doing his best to stand right. When Sora pulled him onto her arm, he looked at her curiously.
"You're not driving home like this Matt. You can stay with me, okay?" Matt tried to shove her off of him in disgust, but he almost dropped to the ground with the effort, and he couldn't bring himself to move his lips to argue with her about driving himself home. So he just let her practically carry him up the stairs to the 3rd floor of her apartment building, and down to her door.
Once inside, Sora kicked the door shut, Matt still on her shoulder, only now he was sputtering drunken slur that was supposed to pass as jokes. Sora, being drunk as well, laughed her head off at him though, not comprehending that she could barely understand what he was saying. Once the drive home was over, she immediately went back to being giddy and unrelented, and she threw Matt down onto the couch. "I'm going to get you a blanket okay?" she said, still laughing.
Matt jumped back up unsteadily and threw his arms around her neck, his long blonde hair swaying into her face. "You're a really good friend, you know that?" he told her. Sora nodded as she hugged him back, then pushed him back onto the couch.
Somehow, in all the confusion, as Sora shoved Matt down, her feet became tangled with his, and she was pulled down with him, since he hadn't let go. And since Matt had turned at that same moment, Sora fell beneath him as they both hit the couch. Matt ended up laughing, but Sora was uncomfortable when she felt Matt pressing against her when she was in such a state of undress, and being trapped there was no help either. Suddenly, all the fun had gone out of being drunk, especially when she still knew what was going on, just like it had been on that perilous drive home.
Squirming a bit, trying to pry her way out, Sora desperately wished that Matt still had enough sense in him to take note that this was her - Sora - beneath him, and not one of his many girlfriends that adored him and willingly threw themselves at him.
But, just as she she feared, Matt stopped her, held her down not only with his body and arms, but with his piercing blue eyes as well, in which the reflection was gone and there was no hope for him to realize what he was doing before it was too late. And as if to sanctify the terror in her thoughts, Matt leaned down and touched his lips softly to Sora's.
Sora cringed, but couldn't move away. The pounding, aching, throbbing in her head was becoming unbearable. She felt Matt's hands over her wrists and her arms being lifted to rest beside her head, but she couldn't make herself jerk away, as much as she desperately wanted to. Her limbs felt like lead, and she couldn't shake him off so she could lay him down on the couch by himself to dream, and not act out his dream on her. Sora's lips burned as Matt's lips rested on them, and hot tears leaked out of her eyes as she so desperately wanted to move away from this nightmare, but couldn't. Her arms, her body... so heavy.....
She felt the ripping at the back of her costume as Matt yanked it off of her, quietly muttering to her, "You know, you look really nice in this. You look really great tonight, Mikai..." But Sora thought, Please, don't let it be me he's speaking to. That girl, the one he was dancing with at the party, he said those exact same words to her. Oh, God, please let it be her he's seeing. Mikai. He can't be thinking of me, not when his eyes are so clouded. He's seeing Mikai. He wouldn't think of me this way, he couldn't. It's her, it's her, it's her...... More tears slipped out of her own clouded, crimson eyes as Matt did the things to her that only Tai had done before. Her body became paralyzed as she felt Matt's hands travel the length of her abdomen, softly caressing her skin, sending shock waves through her body that she didn't want to feel there. When his hands came to knead on her breasts, she silently screamed a deadly, bloodcurdling scream inside of her head, making it throb even more than it had all night, but her weak, alcohol-induced body wouldn't allow her to stop him.
Matt was drunk, and as painfully obvious as it was to Sora, it wasn't as clear to Matt himself. Sora realized it when she was drunk, and she stopped, but Matt was the type to not realize it until it was too late to control himself. He didn't comprehend anything that was going on around him, much less what he was about to do to his best friend's girlfriend, when she obviously couldn't defend herself in any way. All he saw before him was a beautiful, young, supple body that was his for the taking, not comprehending at all that it belonged to Sora, whom he'd never in a million years ever dream of taking advantage of. But the stupor that alcohol had left him in had obstructed all moralities of his cool mind and clean body, which had never once ravished itself on an unwilling person. Only tonight would that innocence between Matt and Sora be violated...
As the minutes progressed torturingly slow for Sora, it took all of her strength to muster up some possibility of escape, but alas, she found herself almost completely naked, her costume in shreds, her quivering body laying exposed for Matt's violating eyes and lavishing hands, being not those of his, but belonging to the liquor he had consumed only an hour earlier, a lifetime earlier. And finding herself in such a state, there was not much more she could do to prevent the outcome. She was also finding that she could not resist the pleasure taking place in some parts of her. It only made her want to scream and cry that much more, that she should feel such things, as if she were treasoning against Tai, her beloved, betraying him in the worst way possible short of knifing him to death in his sleep.
She felt she was doing as much when she finally succumbed to Matt, the liquid poison inside of her head letting him have his will of her, letting him move inside her in the way that she had only wanted Tai to do, now and forever. Feeling dreadful, though it was nowhere near her fault, Sora closed her eyes to the sight before her so she wouldn't have to see Tai's best friend, her best friend, sharing that same passionate face in which she had seen so many times on Tai, sharing it with and because of her. She refused to admit that this lovemaking was between her and Matt. It just didn't feel right. It would never feel right, and though it was happening right now, in the state of extreme pleasure as it was, it still wasn't right. So Sora did the only thing that would've made sense in this unrealistic world of alcoholic cloudiness and drunken stupor; she closed her eyes and imagined Tai......
As Matt finally reached his peak, Sora felt the relief of it being almost over, and felt something she never expected to feel at the end of what she thought of as an unnatural event; an orgasm. But as the sweat broke out, and both she and Matt screamed into the empty room, it was the name of Sora's true soulmate she screamed out, "Tai...... Oh!!! TAI!!" Her voice was leaded with feelings swimming into her head from all directions - the liquor being tasted, then swallowed down countless times, visions of Tai, of the party, the drunken people around her, the drive home, the horrifying feel of Matt pressing his hard body against hers, but the relief knowing it wasn't really him, knowing if he really knew what he was doing, he would never have thought of such a degrading thing as to sleep with a girl who was only a sister to him, plus the best friend and girlfriend of his best friend.
So as all these thoughts entered Sora's already throbbing head, she just couldn't take the pain, or the pleasure, anymore, and she heard one last word being torn from Matt's lips as he screamed a name that she knew too well before she collapsed back into the couch and passed away into a black, dreamless sleep.
+†+ The Next Morning +†+
Matt slowly, painfully forced his eyes open after a long, hard, and uncomfortable sleep. He automatically felt queasy as soon as his vision focused on the back of the couch, and he squeezed them shut in hopes to pass the nausea faster. His head ached and pounded against his skull, it felt as if it would tear apart if he so much moved it, so he carefully and tenderly pushed himself up onto his arms. He wondered where he was and what had happened at the party last night, and how he had come to spend the night on someone's couch...
That's when he noticed the person lying fitfully asleep beneath him...
"Oh... God...."
Matt's clear, blue eyes widened in horror at the sight he saw before him. Ignoring the terrific pain ripping at his skull, he jerked himself off of Sora, who was lying in a restless sleep in nothing but the rags that remained of her costume. He felt himself flush red with embarrassment at seeing her bare flesh, red with shame at what had obviously happened, which was obviously his fault. Then he paled as he felt sick, his face whiter than what it had already naturally been, a pale bluish color swimming to his once gorgeous visage as he felt the bile rising in his throat, the angry growling in his stomach as it threatened to bring up all that he had consumed the night before. It felt as if it were punishment for the act he had committed upon Sora, his own friend, his best friend's girlfriend.
Racing into the bathroom, crashing into objects along the way in his woozy state, Matt threw himself onto the floor in front of the toilet and brought up everything, pushing it up and forcing it out. Over and over again he heaved the contents in his stomach, wrenching every little bit of the foul taste he had in his mouth, every foul experience he knew he must have experienced with her, though he could not for the life of him recall it happening. Tears painfully squeezed out of his eyes and streamed down his face as he wrenched the stale beverage out of his mouth, noting that he was actually glad he couldn't remember it. Why would he want to remember the heinous act he and Sora had committed together? Just thinking about it again brought fresh vomit pouring out of his mouth.
No, no, no, how could I? How COULD I? How could this happen? What have I done? Why didn't she stop me? Oh no, no, no.... this can't be. Tai is going to kill me....
The torturous thoughts raced inside and outside of his pained head, the waves of nausea finally subsiding. Matt climbed to his feet unsteadily and leaned over the counter of the sink, letting the cold water run over his hands and the rivulets stream down his pale and sore face. He stared into the mirror, his hand running over his countenance. He hardly recognized the face staring back at him. Not when he knew that that face had done so terrible an act of betrayal to Tai. Poor Tai......
Gathering himself, ignoring the throbbing still continuing in his brain, Matt walked slowly into the living room and glanced sorrowfully at Sora, poor, innocent little Sora, sleeping as though she were killing herself inside.
I don't blame you, my friend, he thought, his eyes downcast. Sora, I can't express how sorry I am. Can you forgive me? Will Tai forgive me? More, can I forgive myself? Oh, Sora, will it ever be the same between us after our.... our mistake? Matt swallowed hard, bent to pick up Sora's trench coat that had found itself onto the floor beside her, covered her exposed body, then found some paper and a pen.
Quickly scribbling out a note, a note that held much importance and meaning in the few lines it contained, Matt then walked outside into the cool November morning, the sun not quite up yet as he shivered walking down the three flights of stairs to his car, quickly driving away soon after.
+†+
Sora awoke, squinting her sore eyes into the sunlight that streamed in her window. Groaning as she remembered the events of the night before, she also gagged at the memory and started sobbing her complete frustration into the couch cushions. Sora retched at the horrid taste in her mouth, feeling new tears wash away the old ones, which were now dry streaks on her face. She buried her face into the couch, not able to lift herself quite yet, and she let out the agonizing torture within herself, which could not be let out the night before because the stabilizing drinks she'd had prevented it.
After all the worst had been torn from her, Sora finally pulled herself up onto her knees and observed her surroundings. Luckily, Matt had left after covering her. Though she was grateful for the coat he'd put back on her, she knew she could not bear to look at him for a LONG while. She knew not for how long she could go avoiding him, though she knew that for right now, she didn't want to see him ever again.
Sora was in the shower, letting the scalding water flow over her tainted nakedness. The remains of her costume lay at the bottom of the trash can. Sora had peeled them off and tossed them as soon as she was able to walk around without being overcome with incredible guilt, and she ended up in the shower, turning the hot water on all the way, as hot as it would get without melting her skin off of her bones. The steam felt cleansing, washing away her sin and sanitizing her soul and mind.
She reached for the soap after shampooing and worked the little bar into a frenzy, lather spreading over her hands and arms. She watched in fascination as the soapsuds trickled down, and then she started to frantically rub herself, trying to rid herself of all the grime she felt buried beneath her skin, scrubbing her skin as if trying to tear it off all together. Her nails dug in and raked her arms with angry red lines as she scrubbed, yet she continued scrubbing, all over, ignoring the pain she ravished onto her sensitive body. It didn't phase her one bit. At some point during the course of her shower, she felt she deserved the pain she brought upon herself, and didn't even notice the tears streaming down once again, blurring her vision...
When she was done, she lay wrapped in a soft, down robe on her bed, not moving an inch, waiting for the night to come as she stared blankly up at the ceiling.
+†+
Tai returned late that day of November 1st, and wanted to go see Sora, but an odd feeling decided against it. He decided to wait until Monday, which was only the next day. After all, she was probably exhausted after the weekend, as he was after spending it with his unusually chatty and active grandmother. So waiting to see her at school would not make much more difference.
But it was different than what Tai would've imagined, for Sora was not at school the next day. Or the next day....
By the third day, Tai gave up on trying to call her house and went over right after school, skipping soccer practice. He was worried that something had happened, and he flew up the stairs to her door. Pounding on it, he called out her name in desperation. "Soraaa!! Sora?"
Sora stood on the other side, staring at the inside of the door, listening to Tai's frantic knocking. She heard the desperation in his voice, and panicked, thinking, Oh God, he knows. Matt's told him. He's come to break up with me. He never wants to see my scumbag face again, he'll never forgive me... Just when she thought she'd had nothing left, that she was all dried up, more tears found their way out when she thought of losing Tai. But he deserves better than me. I've... betrayed him. Sobbing silently, Sora forced herself up to the door, and unlocked it.
Immediately, the door burst open, and Tai's arms flew around Sora and tightened her into an embrace. Sora welcomed them, and she so wanted to throw her arms around him and squeeze him into her, letting herself believe him to always be the only one for her, but.... she couldn't. Instead, she backed away and turned around, burying her face in her hands and sobbing some more.
"Sora?"
Sora shook her head, her only answer. Obviously he hadn't found out yet.
"Sora, what is it? Are you sick? You could've called and told me. Or at least answered your own phone for crying out loud." Tai stared at her back, wondering what could possibly be wrong. She didn't look sick, only very distraught. Could something have happened at that party she went to? Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Matt for three days either....
+†+
Matt sat alone on the beach, his arms resting on his knees as he stared out into the calming ocean. The sand beneath him was strangely comforting, and he welcomed it. His camaro was parked behind him. He hadn't been to school, and instead, for three days, he'd come to the beach where it was deserted, so no one could catch him for being truant. His father probably suspected, but he usually didn't care what his son was up to as long as he didn't get caught, so he didn't enforce many rules.
He'd avoided his band for three days as well, and all because of his depression that his mistake had put him in. He wanted to steer clear of everyone for a while, especially Sora. He would be satisfied if he never had to see her again.
But, thinking about it, that would depress him even still. She was his good friend, the girlfriend and best friend of Tai, who was his best friend. And Tai... that's another thing. He wanted to avoid Tai as well, he couldn't avoid one without the other. He actually needed to avoid Tai, he knew what would happen as soon as Tai found out. And he WOULD find out, of that he was certain. Sora couldn't keep it from him, and even if she could, Matt couldn't.
Matt sighed as the salty ocean breeze whipped through his blonde hair, which had been scrubbed clean. The other morning, as soon as he got home, the first thing he did was scrub himself the way Sora had done to herself. In fact, he did it again, twice a day, in the morning before he left, and again at night when he got home, as if to rid himself of all he had been thinking about.
Each day he came to the beach, he had a goal in mind. He would try as hard as he could to remember one detail about what had happened. So far, he had pulled together...... nothing.
Well, he did remember Sora telling him he couldn't drive home, that she was going to let him stay with her. And he remembered telling her that she was a good friend. But how did things unravel from there?
That's when one more memory hit him like a ton of bricks slamming into his face - the name he called out when he was at his climax. His eyes widened with shock when he was absolutely certain what the name was, and he cringed to himself as he couldn't believe this turn of events.
"Oh..... my....... God, no....."
Now he couldn't decide if this was a good thing or bad thing.
+†+
"Sora, are you going to let me help you? Come on, you know I love you. You can tell me anything. What have you been doing all this time? Have you been all by yourself?"
Sora nodded. "My mom left for a week, she'll be back in a few days," she said, barely above a whisper. Tai came up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. Sora flinched at his touch, and Tai blinked in confusion before removing them. Sora started sobbing again. "You're going to hate me, Tai. You are so going to hate me..."
Tai spun her around to face him. "Why would you say that? What did you do?" Sora's watery, bloodshot eyes betrayed her feelings. All she had done for these three days was lay in her bed, staring up at her ceiling. She had only gotten up to change and use the bathroom. When the phone rang, she bleakly stared at it, knowing it was Tai and not feeling ready to face him.
But now, she had no choice. And she couldn't keep it from him any longer. "Tai, I... we, me and Matt..." she started, looking into Tai's serious eyes, which were now narrowed suspiciously. She took a deep breath and continued. "We went to the party, the Halloween party, and there was liquor." Tai nodded, not yet seeing where this was headed. "We got drunk. Matt got so drunk, he didn't even know what he was doing, I swear, Tai, please believe me, he didn't know." Tai let go of her and stepped back, giving her room.
"And what about you? You got drunk?"
"Yes, but Tai, I still knew what was happening. I remembered what happened, though it's still a little blurry. I wasn't so drunk that I was falling over every step like Matt was!"
"Sora, why would I hate you over that?"
"I'm not done Tai..." Tai stopped and waited patiently for her to continue, still suspecting the worst. He had a feeling that both she and Matt would come out looking very bad when she was done. "Tai, I couldn't let him drive home. He would've killed himself."
"Sora, that was sensible, the smart thing to do. So let me guess, he stayed here with you?" Sora nodded slowly. "Mm-hmm. Okay, well, I think I know where this is going." Tai turned around and started heading to the door.
"Tai! Tai, please," Sora stared wistfully after him as he stalked away, then stop to turn back to her. "Please..."
Tai's hands squeezed into fists as he asked, "So you and Matt. You lose sense of reality? Get a little carried away?" He glared accusingly at her. Slowly, faintly, she nodded through her tears. Tai sighed sadly, angrily, and jerked his head around and stared at the floor. "You don't know how much you've just hurt me, Sora. You and Matt."
"Tai, please forgive me! I couldn't live with it if you left me, hated me because of one stupid, idiotic mistake. It was wrong, okay? I knew it, but I couldn't stop him." Sora collapsed onto the floor as she stared at Tai's back, begging him silently to come to her and comfort her. She sobbed her words to him as she explained herself. "I'm so, so sorry. Tai, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am, how stupid and weak I feel right now, how I've felt these past days. I was so under the influence of the alcohol I drank, I was so weak, I couldn't stop him. I tried, oh, God how I tried..."
"So what you're really saying is, he raped you." Tai stated through clenched teeth. His back still coldly face Sora. Her eyes went wide as the meaning of his words sank.
"Oh, Tai, I could say that. But he was so drunk himself. Please don't blame him either. He had no idea what he was doing, I can swear to you that... that he was thinking of," Sora looked away as she said this part, "another." Tai finally turned around to her.
"How do you know this?"
"I know Tai. Please trust me."
"Trust you? Ha!"
"Yes! Trust me! I'm telling you the complete truth right now, I haven't tried to hide it at all!"
Tai stared down at her humiliating form, on her knees practically begging for mercy. "But you avoided me for three days." He started to kneel down beside her.
Sora watched him as he bent down to join her on the floor. "Oh, I just needed time," she said softly. "Tai, I haven't eaten anything, I've only showered once. I haven't seen Matt either." The tears trickled down, and Tai reached up to wipe them gently away. He finally softened when she said, "I cried the whole time. I couldn't stand it, I screamed inside of my head. Please trust me. When the end came, when I had no choice but to feel myself loving it, it was you I thought of. It was your name I screamed." Sora stared wistfully into his eyes, and he stared back into hers.
It was there where he saw the truth. That it truly was a mistake. That neither her nor Matt ever meant for it to happen, that it was completely by an unwilling accident on both parts.
His hand gently cupped her face as Sora smile into him, and she threw herself onto him, wailing her sorrow out into his chest, yet feeling an unbearable relief. When it was over, both she and Tai stood, and Tai stroked her hair. "You know," he said, "I didn't even notice you hadn't bathed until you said so." Sora smiled sheepishly at him through her tears. "Come on, I want you to go shower and change. We'll spend the rest of the day together. How's that? I'll prove to you that I forgive you."
"It sounds wonderful. But what about Matt? What are you going to do about him?"
Tai's gaze hardened. "Don't worry about that. I'LL worry when the time comes, okay?"
"Tai, here. He left this note. He wanted me to tell you this." Sora slipped the note into his hand and backed away, preparing to take her shower as Tai had ordered. Tai read the note.
Sora,
Oh man, I can't tell you how bad
I feel, not to mention how corrupted
and dirtied... and sorry. It's not you,
though, Sora, don't even think for one
minute that it was in any way your fault.
I was an idiot to get drunk and not find
a way home, staying at your place and
letting the alcohol take advantage of you.
Please, tell Tai for me, how sorry I am.
Tell him how much I treasure his friendship,
how much I love the guy. And tell him I'll
talk to him as soon as the time feels right.
And, Sora, you WILL tell him.
Your friend always,
Matt
"Ohhh...." Tai let escape as he dropped the letter onto the ground. Sora watched him curiously, her arms behind her back, knowing something, something she was about to share with him. Tears actually came to his eyes, and he asked her once again, "Sora. You really thought of me? You really called out for me?" Sora blushed and smiled, feeling better than she had for days.
"Yes, Tai. And to prove to you once more that what happened was a mistake, that it was never meant to happen, Matt..."
Tai cut her off, shaking his head furiously, smiling with a pleased expression on his face. "You can stop there. I forgive you Sora, I believe you..."
"But I have to tell you this."
Tai sighed. "I told you, I still have to think about what I'm going to say to Matt. I'm still kind of angry at him, at his stupidity..."
"It's not that."
"Ok, what is it?" Tai couldn't help but be pleased at her persistance, her worry, her fretting to win back his trust, his forgiveness, his belief, when she'd already had all of it the moment she told him she was thinking of him and screaming his name...
Sora turned around and started walking to her bathroom, speaking over her shoulder. "Matt screamed your name too..."
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MWAHAHAHA!! -coughcough- -ahem- Next up--- The Fight!!! heh heh. I get these weird, idiotic ideas.... Okay, anyway, please don't flame, I know it's a bit... well, you know, magoo. But they're supposed to be juniors in high school, and in Japan, I doubt they'd really care if alcohol was brought into a student activity building. They're just really cool like that. But actually, as I was writing this, I noticed what a good message would send. Don't drink and get drunk!!! Bad things can happen, you might not be as lucky as Sora was driving home, and you could really hurt somebody, either physically or emotionally damage them, like sleeping with your best friend/boyfriend's best friend/best friend's girlfriend, so on and so forth. So if kids ignored my warning and are reading this, please take heed this lesson!! k? k. Arigatou for reading, and please review with constructive critiscism, no flaming please. ^_^ Bai bai.
