Funny Bleach Episode 45: The Secret Video

[What a beautiful day. I wonder what`s going to be the creepy thing that`s going to happen in this episode]

[At Soul Society]

[Rukia and Renji are sitting on the couch enjoying their cup of tea]

Rukia: Tea is my best friend.

Renji: Really? I never thought you would want to be friends with tea. (smiles)

Rukia: Yeah but only until I`m done drinking it. But I always get to enjoy it. (sips)

[Rangiku anf Yoruichi walk in]

Both: Hey guys.

Rukia: Hey. You two sure seem to be hanging out a lot lately. I`m starting to think there`s something going on between you two. (smiles and winks at them)

Yoruichi: Hah! There`s nothing going on.

Rangiku: Yeah, we`re just two good friends hanging out, that`s all.

Yoruichi: Yeah.

[They both look at eatchother and turn away while blushing]

Renji: Hehe, I love moments like these.

Ichigo: (walks in) Hey, what`s up guys. (lays on the couch)

Rukia: Not much. Just tea.

Ichigo: Still with the tea, huh? I`m still with my coffee and I`m stickin` to it.

Rangiku: Boo to you and your coffee.

Yoruichi: Last time I drank coffee it tasted like shit...

Rangiku: But wasn`t that your first time?

Yoruichi: Yeah and also my last.

Ichigo: FYI, it was specially made for you. Hehe.

Renji: You`re a creepy dude.

Ichigo: I know and I learned to love it. (smiles)

Yammamoto: (walks in) Alright you Loony Tunes, listen up. I`m going out and I don`t want any of you to go inside my Office. No one must enter that office, is that clear?

Rukia: Yeah.

Yammamoto: Good. Now you creepy children behave. (walks out)

Rukia: Did he just call us children?

Rangiku: Forget that. I`m a loony tune. (smiles)

Yoruichi: If that`s the case then I`m Lola Bunny.

Rangiku: Dammit, I wanted to be Lola Bunny. (cries)

Yoruichi: Sorry girl. You`ll get over it. If not, too bad.

Ichigo: You really are a mean cat.

Renji: Hey guys why don`t we see what Yammamoto`s hiding in his office.

Rangiku: Good idea.

Rukia: You know I`m always in.

Yoruichi: It`s time to see what he`s been hiding from us. It has to be a huge secret since he came to tell us in person.

Rukia: Exactly, wich is why we must investigate. Ichigo are you in?

Ichigo: Pass.

Rangiku: Pass? What do you mean by that? You can`t just pass on a huge discovery like this.

Ichigo: I just did. It`s time for you guys to go get yourselves in trouble without me in it.

Yoruichi: Well that`s a first... (stares at him very closely) Who are you and what have you done with Ichigo? Tell me you bastard!

Ichigo: What are you talking about, I am Ichigo.

Rukia: Are you sick or something?

Ichigo: No, I`m fine.

Rangiku: OMG are you on drugs?

Ichigo: Hell no! I just don`t want to go and nothing in this world is gonna make me get off this couch. (crosses arms)

[They hear a car honking outside]

Ichigo: (jumps off the couch) YAY Pizza`s here! (notices them staring at him with their arms crossed) What, I can`t say no to Pizza. (runs out) Good luck and have fun with your discovery.

Renji: Looks like it`s just the four of us then.

Rukia: Let`s go.

Yoruichi: I can`t wait to see what Yamma`s been hiding in there.

Rangiku: Neither can I.

[Outside of Yammamoto`s Office]

[Yoruichi blows up the door]

Rangiku: (has a silly expression on her face) We could`ve just crawled through the window...

Rukia: We don`t have time for that.

Renji: Alright start searching..and please try not to blow anything up.

Yoruichi: Aye Captain! (salutes him with all her might)

Renji: Are you mocking me?

Yoruichi: Of course I am. (laughs)

[They start searching around in the office]

Rukia: (opens desk) There`s like nothing in here. (throws out the papers from the desk)

Renji: Dammit.

Rangiku: Guys, I think I found it.

Yoruichi: Finally.

Rangiku: It`s a video and it says; 'Very Very Private'.

Rukia: It sounds convincing enough.

Renji: Let`s get outta here then.

Yammamoto: (walks in) What do you think you are doing? (looks at where the door should be) Didn`t I have a door?

Yoruichi: Uh..yes you did.

Rangiku: (hides the tape in her shirt) Yup...

Yammamoto: Oh my. Rangiku, you gained weight.

Rangiku: Well what can I say? When you gotta eat you gotta eat, right? (grins)

Renji: We`re just gonna go now...

Yammamoto: Halt! What were you guys doing in here?

Rukia: We...were planning on finding out your secret but it looks like you caught us just in time so we`re just gonna go.

Yammamoto: Hmm...alright you can go.

[They run out]

Yammamoto: Naughty children. Now where`s my door... (looks around)

[Meanwhile, in Rukia`s Bedroom]

Rangiku: (turns on the videoplayer) Time to see what Yamma`s been hiding from all of us. (quickly jumps on Rukia`s bed and sits next to the others)

[The video starts playing]

Rukia: (stares) What the fuck is this? That`s Yammamoto fucking someone!

Yoruichi: Yeah..but who?

Renji: Holy shit that`s Unohana!

Rangiku: Eeeeeww! This video was recorded during his spongebath?

Yoruichi: I can`t watch this anymore. So discussting, turn it off!

Rukia: (quickly turns it off) Wow. Who would`ve thought that those two would...yuck!

Rangiku: Don`t you mean fuck?

Renji: She did. In her own kind of way...

Yoruichi: You can`t really blame her. It`s just so unbelievable and discussting at the same time.

Rangiku: It`s unbelievably discussting...

Rukia: It`s...yuck...

[Later at the Hangout Room]

[They all walk in and sit on the couches]

Yoruichi: Let`s return it later.

Ichigo: So? How did it go? (eats Pizza)

Rukia: It was a sex tape...

Ichigo: Awesome... But why aren`t you guys excited about it? (eats another slice of Pizza)

Renji: Because Yammamoto was fucking Unohana in that tape..

Ichigo: (chokes) What?

Rangiku: Trust me, we`re just as freacked out about it as you are.

Ichigo: Eww. I can`t even begin to picture those two fucking eachother. Yuck!

Rukia: I know.

Yoruichi: So creepy.

Ichigo: Good thing I didn`t watch it. (continues eating)

Yammamoto: (runs in) Alright I want to know who stole my door!

Rangiku: You mean you haven`t noticed that all this time?

Rukia: Yoruichi blew up your door.

Yoruichi: laughs) Sorry, my bad.

Yammamoto: I can`t believe you blew up my door.

Renji: Well now that you`re here we have something to give you. (gives him the videotape)

Yammamoto: What`s this?

Rukia: It`s a sextape of you and Unohana. We really wanted to see what you were hiding in your office after you told us.

Rangiku: We`re very sorry.

Yammamoto: I`m the one who should be sorry. I thought I burned it. Unohana is gonna kill me if she finds out I still have it.

Renji: Wait a minute, so that wasn`t your secret?

Yammamoto: Hell no. My secret is hidden somewhere very secret. I`m surprised you guys didn`t find it, though. (smiles)

Rangiku: Okay, now I`m really confused.

Rukia: Me too.

Yoruichi: So that wasn`t your secret at all? Dammit.

Yammamoto: Trust me, my secret is much worse than that videotape.

Renji: I`m not gonna look for it then.

Yammamoto: Good. `Cause it will haunt you for the rest of your life. Bye now. (walks out)

Ichigo: That was a total waste of time. Good thing I didn`t bother going with you guys.

Rangiku: I say we spy on him and see where he`s hiding his secret.

Rukia: No way, I don`t wanna be haunted.

Yoruichi: I agree.

Rangiku: I guess you`re right. Let`s just drop it then. (goes in her room) AAAAAAH!

[Rukia and the others quickly flash step in her bedroom]

Rukia: What`s wrong? Are you okay?

Rangiku: I forgot to take a shower. Woopsy. (gigles)

Yoruichi: (cracks knuckles) You were screaming just for that?

Renji: We thougt something terrible happened to you.

Rangiku: Not taking a shower is something terrible for me. (laughs)

Rukia: You mean you had us running all the way from the couch just for that?

Rangiku: You`re gonna kill me, aren`t you.

Yoruichi: Oh yeah!

Rangiku: Nice to know. Well have a good one. (jumps out of her window) OUW that hurt!

Renji: Should we still kill her? I mean, the poor thing did just fall out of her window and maybe hurt herself.

Yoruichi: I`m gonna kill her anyway. (jumps out of the window) I`m coming for you!

Rangiku: (her voice) Yikes! (runs)

[Rukia and Renji stare at eachother]

Rukia: So...you wanna make out?

Renji: I thought you`d never ask. (makes out with her)

[Meanwhile, outside]

Yoruichi: I`m the freakin Godess of Flash. You can`t run or flashstep away from me that easily!

Rangiku: Watch me! (runs)

[Yoruichi keeps on chasing her]

The End