[What a beautiful day. I wonder what`s going to be the creepy thing that`s going to happen in this episode]
[At Soul Society]
[Rukia and Renji are sitting on the couch enjoying their cup of tea]
Rukia: Tea is my best friend.
Renji: Really? I never thought you would want to be friends with tea. (smiles)
Rukia: Yeah but only until I`m done drinking it. But I always get to enjoy it. (sips)
[Rangiku anf Yoruichi walk in]
Both: Hey guys.
Rukia: Hey. You two sure seem to be hanging out a lot lately. I`m starting to think there`s something going on between you two. (smiles and winks at them)
Yoruichi: Hah! There`s nothing going on.
Rangiku: Yeah, we`re just two good friends hanging out, that`s all.
Yoruichi: Yeah.
[They both look at eatchother and turn away while blushing]
Renji: Hehe, I love moments like these.
Ichigo: (walks in) Hey, what`s up guys. (lays on the couch)
Rukia: Not much. Just tea.
Ichigo: Still with the tea, huh? I`m still with my coffee and I`m stickin` to it.
Rangiku: Boo to you and your coffee.
Yoruichi: Last time I drank coffee it tasted like shit...
Rangiku: But wasn`t that your first time?
Yoruichi: Yeah and also my last.
Ichigo: FYI, it was specially made for you. Hehe.
Renji: You`re a creepy dude.
Ichigo: I know and I learned to love it. (smiles)
Yammamoto: (walks in) Alright you Loony Tunes, listen up. I`m going out and I don`t want any of you to go inside my Office. No one must enter that office, is that clear?
Rukia: Yeah.
Yammamoto: Good. Now you creepy children behave. (walks out)
Rukia: Did he just call us children?
Rangiku: Forget that. I`m a loony tune. (smiles)
Yoruichi: If that`s the case then I`m Lola Bunny.
Rangiku: Dammit, I wanted to be Lola Bunny. (cries)
Yoruichi: Sorry girl. You`ll get over it. If not, too bad.
Ichigo: You really are a mean cat.
Renji: Hey guys why don`t we see what Yammamoto`s hiding in his office.
Rangiku: Good idea.
Rukia: You know I`m always in.
Yoruichi: It`s time to see what he`s been hiding from us. It has to be a huge secret since he came to tell us in person.
Rukia: Exactly, wich is why we must investigate. Ichigo are you in?
Ichigo: Pass.
Rangiku: Pass? What do you mean by that? You can`t just pass on a huge discovery like this.
Ichigo: I just did. It`s time for you guys to go get yourselves in trouble without me in it.
Yoruichi: Well that`s a first... (stares at him very closely) Who are you and what have you done with Ichigo? Tell me you bastard!
Ichigo: What are you talking about, I am Ichigo.
Rukia: Are you sick or something?
Ichigo: No, I`m fine.
Rangiku: OMG are you on drugs?
Ichigo: Hell no! I just don`t want to go and nothing in this world is gonna make me get off this couch. (crosses arms)
[They hear a car honking outside]
Ichigo: (jumps off the couch) YAY Pizza`s here! (notices them staring at him with their arms crossed) What, I can`t say no to Pizza. (runs out) Good luck and have fun with your discovery.
Renji: Looks like it`s just the four of us then.
Rukia: Let`s go.
Yoruichi: I can`t wait to see what Yamma`s been hiding in there.
Rangiku: Neither can I.
[Outside of Yammamoto`s Office]
[Yoruichi blows up the door]
Rangiku: (has a silly expression on her face) We could`ve just crawled through the window...
Rukia: We don`t have time for that.
Renji: Alright start searching..and please try not to blow anything up.
Yoruichi: Aye Captain! (salutes him with all her might)
Renji: Are you mocking me?
Yoruichi: Of course I am. (laughs)
[They start searching around in the office]
Rukia: (opens desk) There`s like nothing in here. (throws out the papers from the desk)
Renji: Dammit.
Rangiku: Guys, I think I found it.
Yoruichi: Finally.
Rangiku: It`s a video and it says; 'Very Very Private'.
Rukia: It sounds convincing enough.
Renji: Let`s get outta here then.
Yammamoto: (walks in) What do you think you are doing? (looks at where the door should be) Didn`t I have a door?
Yoruichi: Uh..yes you did.
Rangiku: (hides the tape in her shirt) Yup...
Yammamoto: Oh my. Rangiku, you gained weight.
Rangiku: Well what can I say? When you gotta eat you gotta eat, right? (grins)
Renji: We`re just gonna go now...
Yammamoto: Halt! What were you guys doing in here?
Rukia: We...were planning on finding out your secret but it looks like you caught us just in time so we`re just gonna go.
Yammamoto: Hmm...alright you can go.
[They run out]
Yammamoto: Naughty children. Now where`s my door... (looks around)
[Meanwhile, in Rukia`s Bedroom]
Rangiku: (turns on the videoplayer) Time to see what Yamma`s been hiding from all of us. (quickly jumps on Rukia`s bed and sits next to the others)
[The video starts playing]
Rukia: (stares) What the fuck is this? That`s Yammamoto fucking someone!
Yoruichi: Yeah..but who?
Renji: Holy shit that`s Unohana!
Rangiku: Eeeeeww! This video was recorded during his spongebath?
Yoruichi: I can`t watch this anymore. So discussting, turn it off!
Rukia: (quickly turns it off) Wow. Who would`ve thought that those two would...yuck!
Rangiku: Don`t you mean fuck?
Renji: She did. In her own kind of way...
Yoruichi: You can`t really blame her. It`s just so unbelievable and discussting at the same time.
Rangiku: It`s unbelievably discussting...
Rukia: It`s...yuck...
[Later at the Hangout Room]
[They all walk in and sit on the couches]
Yoruichi: Let`s return it later.
Ichigo: So? How did it go? (eats Pizza)
Rukia: It was a sex tape...
Ichigo: Awesome... But why aren`t you guys excited about it? (eats another slice of Pizza)
Renji: Because Yammamoto was fucking Unohana in that tape..
Ichigo: (chokes) What?
Rangiku: Trust me, we`re just as freacked out about it as you are.
Ichigo: Eww. I can`t even begin to picture those two fucking eachother. Yuck!
Rukia: I know.
Yoruichi: So creepy.
Ichigo: Good thing I didn`t watch it. (continues eating)
Yammamoto: (runs in) Alright I want to know who stole my door!
Rangiku: You mean you haven`t noticed that all this time?
Rukia: Yoruichi blew up your door.
Yoruichi: laughs) Sorry, my bad.
Yammamoto: I can`t believe you blew up my door.
Renji: Well now that you`re here we have something to give you. (gives him the videotape)
Yammamoto: What`s this?
Rukia: It`s a sextape of you and Unohana. We really wanted to see what you were hiding in your office after you told us.
Rangiku: We`re very sorry.
Yammamoto: I`m the one who should be sorry. I thought I burned it. Unohana is gonna kill me if she finds out I still have it.
Renji: Wait a minute, so that wasn`t your secret?
Yammamoto: Hell no. My secret is hidden somewhere very secret. I`m surprised you guys didn`t find it, though. (smiles)
Rangiku: Okay, now I`m really confused.
Rukia: Me too.
Yoruichi: So that wasn`t your secret at all? Dammit.
Yammamoto: Trust me, my secret is much worse than that videotape.
Renji: I`m not gonna look for it then.
Yammamoto: Good. `Cause it will haunt you for the rest of your life. Bye now. (walks out)
Ichigo: That was a total waste of time. Good thing I didn`t bother going with you guys.
Rangiku: I say we spy on him and see where he`s hiding his secret.
Rukia: No way, I don`t wanna be haunted.
Yoruichi: I agree.
Rangiku: I guess you`re right. Let`s just drop it then. (goes in her room) AAAAAAH!
[Rukia and the others quickly flash step in her bedroom]
Rukia: What`s wrong? Are you okay?
Rangiku: I forgot to take a shower. Woopsy. (gigles)
Yoruichi: (cracks knuckles) You were screaming just for that?
Renji: We thougt something terrible happened to you.
Rangiku: Not taking a shower is something terrible for me. (laughs)
Rukia: You mean you had us running all the way from the couch just for that?
Rangiku: You`re gonna kill me, aren`t you.
Yoruichi: Oh yeah!
Rangiku: Nice to know. Well have a good one. (jumps out of her window) OUW that hurt!
Renji: Should we still kill her? I mean, the poor thing did just fall out of her window and maybe hurt herself.
Yoruichi: I`m gonna kill her anyway. (jumps out of the window) I`m coming for you!
Rangiku: (her voice) Yikes! (runs)
[Rukia and Renji stare at eachother]
Rukia: So...you wanna make out?
Renji: I thought you`d never ask. (makes out with her)
[Meanwhile, outside]
Yoruichi: I`m the freakin Godess of Flash. You can`t run or flashstep away from me that easily!
Rangiku: Watch me! (runs)
[Yoruichi keeps on chasing her]
The End
