Hello. I don't think you really care what I have to say, but I'll talk anyway. I wanted this fic (which was also written a long time ago...no, it's not an excuse for poor writing) to be something other than a "crack" story. A fanfiction can be funny, but also not so stupid that you run away after the first chapter and flame it in the review section. SSB fictions could be really funny, that is, if people spend the time to think up a general direction for it. That being said, this turned out to be an example of one of those stories.

Excuse the aweful O.C.s. Back in the day, I actually believed in pairings and in-character children.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Nintendo, it's characters, or Super Smash Brothers.

Kirby, Pikachu, and Yoshi sat in the oversized plain kitchen of the smash mansion, playing a somewhat civilized match of Candy Land. Twas' a peaceful night, until Pikachu managed to jinx the die with electricity, landing his overly joyful yellow piece of plastic on King Candy's castle, therefore, saving King Candy himself from ultimate doom. The King, however, was absolutely depressed. His daughter, Princess Lolly, told him to find something else to do with his worthless existence other than pretending that he's missing and eating candy like a sugar deprived monkey.

("Oh my GOSH Kirby would you STOP it! And I didn't cheat!") Pikachu yelled at the top of his pokemon lungs.

The big pounding voice known as the narrator stopped, "What, I'm just setting the mood."

Pikachu sighed and said, ("Well it's getting annoying! All four of those suicidal readers out there are trying to enjoy this stupid one chapter story! But all of their dedication goes to waste because they realize this is just a dumb fan fiction, narrated by a gay pink little fluff ball!")

("What fan fiction?") Yoshi said.

There was a long eerie silence.

Kirby turned an angry red, "I am not gay!"

("Yes you are! You're all pink!") Pikachu pointed.

"No I am not! I have a wife and two children." Kirby produced a wallet full of pictures out of nowhere from his head/body.

Pikachu and Yoshi stared. Kirby did, indeed, have a life.

Pikachu complained ("Nintendo gave you a family! That's not fair! All I have is a creepy little mini me that's out to kill me. I think I ran him over with a tractor last year…")

FLASHBACK

Pikachu ran around the lawn of the smash mansion with an utterly insane look on his face. The rodent with the lawnmower was gaining on Pichu.

("I HOPE YOU DIE YOU GIRLY LITTLE FREAK!") Pikachu yelled.

From a distance, Popo and Nana watched lazily on the roof.

"/\/006." Popo sighed.

"R0fl…" Nana mused.

END OF FLASHBACK

("Oh my gosh is that your mother in law?") Yoshi poked at the picture.

The three went silent. No one moved. Not even a mouse. Then Santa Clause shouted, "Merry Christm-," Shoot, I'm off of the subject.

Yoshi still stood in front of Kirby waiting for an answer. "Oh, uh…erm…no! Of course not! She's my…er…brother's monkey's friend's neighbor's horse's apprentice!"

Kirby stuttered. He hoped the other two would believe him. 'Nah,' He thought, 'Even an idiot could figure out I'm lying. I'm doomed.'

Yoshi's face brightened ("Hey! I didn't know you had one of those! Mine's Norwegian.") He said with a smile.

Pikachu gasped ("Really?! Mine's Czech!")

Kirby laughed and said, "Well mine's- wait a second." He stopped to remind himself he didn't really have a brother's monkey's friend's neighbor's horse's apprentice. "Nevermind! Let's get back to the game. Who's next?" He said quickly.

Yoshi rubbed his head, ("Uhhh, well let's see. It was Pikachu's turn right before Kirby, who was not really Kirby and was just the narrator, said that Pikachu had cheated and moved the dice with electricity and that King Candy was depressed.")

Kirby took the die from the table, "Ok then, it's my turn. Someone needs to buy the King some Zoloft."

Yoshi put his elbow on the table ("Well, they had a huge supply, for unknown reasons, hidden in the kingdom. But, from what I've heard, someone that looked like a bird from Fox's crew had stolen it.")

Falco's hushed voice came from the refrigerator, "My precious…" Yoshi noticed it for a moment, and then shrugged.

After he saw that Kirby had rolled, Pikachu said ("Hey! I already won!")

Kirby ignored him, "You've been cheating and 'winning' for the past HOUR. Honestly, Pikachu, we aren't THAT stupid."

Nearby, Yoshi was drinking milk through his nose and watching it come out of his mouth ("Hey, I think this improves my eyesight or something!")

Pikachu raised an eyebrow ("You were saying?")

Kirby's eye twitched, "Well that's Yoshi."

The green dinosaur turned around with two straws stuck up his nose ("Hey check this out! I'm talented!")

Having an idea for once, Yoshi yanked the straws out of his nostrils and stood up, whacking his head on the light bulb over it. ("I swear…") He got back up on his turquoise retro chair and said ("I have an idea!")

Kirby and Pikachu exchanged glances. Yoshi couldn't think. Let alone come up with ideas. Most of the information he gave out was random. In fact, it is well known that Yoshi brains are hidden in the depths of their noses.

THE Yoshi winked ("It's the most spectacular, most fantabulous, bestest, fruitiest, most delicious, challenging, happy, sad, romantic, most home made, pesky, smelly, idea ever!")

Kirby and Pikachu shouted simultaneously, "WHAT IS IT?!"

("I forgot.") Yoshi drew a hand to his chin, stroking an imaginary beard.

Both Kirby and Pikachu sank down into their chairs.

"Now what?" Kirby said.

Pikachu said, "I know!" and exited the room into the closet and came out with a box labeled MONOPOLY: SICK HOMO VERSION.

"I told you I'm not-," Kirby was about to say he wasn't gay for the umpteenth time, but Pikachu glanced at the box for a second time and smiled, turning pink ("Oh, er…sorry I'm color blind.")

He quickly ran out of the room again and reentered with another box labeled MONOPOLY: PINK FLUFFY VERSION.

Yoshi squinted at the pink wording ("Who the heck bought that anyway?") He said, with the handle of a skillet in his mouth.

Kirby noticed his green friend, "Yoshi? Where did you get that?"

("Uhhhh, I found it.") He said twiddling his fingers ("You want one?") Yoshi said, offering a skillet.

Kirby nodded eagerly, "Okay!"

Kirby watched Pikachu walk off to the other room again. He was muttering ("I have got to stop doing this.")

Yoshi called after him ("Ya know, milk can cure that if you put it up your nose.")

After that a long line of odd MONOPOLY games kept appearing in Pikachu's hands after exiting and reentering the kitchen. There was MONOPOLY: LET'S BE A TREE VERSION and MONOPOLY: GOTH VERSION and MONOPOLY: PIKACHU CAN'T SEE VERSION ("Hey!")

Yoshi finally got fed up with it and said ("What the heck?! Let me go get it!")

He stomped over to the door with Pikachu, walked in, and gasped.

Gannon had a bib and an apron on him, holding a teacup in one hand, and MONOPOLY: BEACHBOY LINK VERSION in the other.

("Ganondorf?! What are you doing in the closet?") Yoshi's mouth was gaping, causing him to drop the skillet on Pikachu's head.

("Ow,") muttered the rodent.

"Moo," said the cow.

"Quack," said the duck.

"I was having happy time with Link…" Ganondorf moaned.

("Oh for the love of Pete, the guy's MARRIED!!") Yoshi said, waving his arms everywhere.

Yoshi looked around, and then pulled out Layla in her jammies, who was just passing by, from behind him. "Hey, Yoshi, what the-," She stopped struggling and stared at the 'happy time' Ganondorf, "Oh my godesses! No wonder Dad's afraid of you!"

Yoshi let go of her. ("See?")

Ganondorf just ignored them and slowly closed the closet door. From the outside, it sounded like he was singing, "Someday, we'll be together…"

Layla shivered, "Disturbing thought of the day." She walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. Falco fell out, along with a giant fish stuffed with Zoloft. Then a frozen giraffe, and a peacock with a screwdriver attached. But if you didn't act now, the special offer might end. Layla thought it was a bargain and pulled out the remains of the milk, "What happened to the Lonlon milk Auntie Malon sent?"

Kirby looked at Pikachu. Then Pikachu looked at Captain Falcon, who looked at DK, who said, "Bananas."

Then Yoshi shrugged ("It improves your eyesight when sniffed up your nostrils.") He said in a rather chipper mood.

Layla smiled, "Yeah! And did you hear that if you soak in it for twelve hours and thirty six seconds exactly at the crack of dawn you'll have better longer lasting feet?"

("No.") Yoshi said dryly.

Kirby gave Layla a strange look ("Have you been listening to Bowser?")

"Maybe," Layla said innocently.

FLASHBACK

"And at the crack of dawn, I had better, longer lasting feet…" Bowser waved his arms around mysteriously.

"Cool…" Layla and her twin Ravi said in amazement.

END OF FLASHBACK

"Yeah...I have to get to bed. Mum thinks I have the cucco pocks." The princess said, changing the subject. Not that there was a subject. She started out the door to the kitchen with her glass of milk muttering to herself and mysteriously scratching the back of her neck. And her arm. And her leg. And her feet.

"Crazy Mom always being a worry wart...'Don't do this! Don't do that! Gross, use a tissue! Oh dear, you're sick! Stop scratching! Go to bed! Take a bath you smell!' Geez, Ya think she'd be in the institution by now." And with that, she was gone.

"Cucco pocks?" Kirby said worridly.

("Hylian chicken pocks. Don't worry, they have the same effects as our chicken pocks, only they last for one day.") Yoshi said, intending it to be reassuring.

But, of course, it wasn't. Kirby, so to speak, had an 'interesting' past with the chicken pocks. Just realizing of about how much of his reputation and dignity he was going to lose in the next few days, Kirby braced himself.

"Holy crap!!" Yoshi backed away in horror. Pikachu shouted some nasty Pokemon swears. The tofu eating Mewtwo whispered, "Oh dear..." Falco shoved his head back into the freezer. Ganondorf passed out. The twins shielded each other's eyes. Not good. Not good at all.

They're just so cute...