Title: Genuine
Fandom: BBC's Sherlock
Pairing: Molly Hooper / Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Tragedy, General
Note: Sometimes I come up with things like this when I wake up the middle of the night. I hope you enjoy it to some extent. Also to my readers of COD & A Study In Chemistry there will be new updates soon. :D
There are many things that you notice about people as you continue to spend time with them or in Sherlock's case he noticed right away. However this is not one of those times. The one thing that should have been obvious had been hidden when it came to one person; Doctor Molly Hooper.
There were things he had come to expect from her over the short years he had spent around her. There weren't many moments but there were enough for him to comment on it. His time away after the fall had unwillingly changed certain aspects of him. This didn't mean that he was completely different in his ways.
It just meant he craved a few things that he would have originally before the fall brushed away as not important or silly. He didn't have the slightest interest in them but he did come to try it at a minimal amount.
That's what had him standing in front of the small home of a certain pathologist. He had found out about her recent move through his network who had reported back to him during the time when he was abroad. He had kept his eyes on all of them. Not only Molly.
He stood there for a moment before bringing himself to knock. He was still a bit uncomfortable with this. He wasn't sure what would happen.
Molly Hooper had been overwhelmed with so much lately that she had went through a couple personal alterations a few months ago. It had all begun five months ago when she scheduled an appointment with her doctor about the reoccuring headaches she had started getting. They were starting to cause her problems.
Sometimes she couldn't see very well because of how much it hurt. Then there was the sensitivity to light at times. She had finally decided to consult her doctor about it. She knew beforehand that it couldn't be great. All the signs pointed to something horrible.
Doctor Annette Springfield had talked to her at first before deciding that an MRA (1) or CT scan (2) would be best to know exactly what they were dealing with. It took a couple days for the results to come back due to many other patients images needed to be filled first. When Dr. Springfield called her with the result Molly decided that maybe it was time for her to go on with a few of the changes she had been thinking of for awhile.
One of the first was the move from London to Cardiff where she used to live as a girl. There wasn't anyone left for her there but she liked the peace of it all. She found her new home and slowly over a two weeks time moved there. It wasn't that obvious that that was what she was doing but it had been what she felt was right given the situation. She needed to simplify her life a bit more.
So, she did.
As she finished moving her things there she worked up the courage to do the second thing on the agenda. She resigned from her job at Barts. It had come as a shock to everyone who worked with her and knew of her. More people had known who she was after Sherlock's death. None of the reasons ever sat well with her but she just kept moving forward as if nothing had changed. As if he was still there. But even she knew that he wouldn't be coming around any time soon. Not until he settled things.
Before her last day of work there was a little farewell party where she made the announcement. She felt it was best to tell everyone at once rather than waiting for another time to everyone individually. It as had her departure from her post in the morgue had been quite shocking.
The ones that she was much more closer to her-Lestrade, John and Mrs. Hudson were more so shocked by it. She pulled them aside after the initial shock and the cake was cut to speak with them. "Oh, Molly dear." Mrs. Hudson weeped as she hugged her quickly. Molly ended up consoling her more than herself. Then there was Lestrade. He seemed a bit shakened by the news.
He didn't say much really just gave her a smile. A sad one that was full of bitterness but a smile at the latest. Then there was John Watson. He asked if she'd like to take a walk and she of course said yes.
They walked until they reached the park and found a vacant bench to sit down. Molly had gotten a bit closer to John since his best friend's departure. She had completely forgotten about her reservations of finally speaking to him about said best friend. She knew that he wouldn't have liked that conversation much but now she didn't have to do that. Her illness had blindsided her and now she was dealing with it.
"So, how long have you known?" John angled his body towards her and she turned so that she was staring at him as they talked.
"Two months today." Molly replied quietly with a small smile on his face. John had a mask of confusion on his face. He was both saddened and conflicted on why things were happening. First Sherlock and now another friend; Molly Hooper.
"You've decided to just wait it out then?" He asked, still trying to wrap his head around all of this.
"I've spent most of my years cutting into people, I don't really like the idea of someone doing the same to me unless I'm already gone. Then again it doesn't really need to be done now that I know what'll it be. I'll be okay though, John. I'm always okay." She reached over and placed her hand over his on his knee and gave it a small squeeze and a light pat before retraching it back in her lap where she folded her hands again.
"Right. He wouldn't agree with you if he were here. He'd take you in for the surgery himself or do it himself." He laughed as he imagined that horrible imagery as Molly just stared in horror of such a thing. "That would be horrible. He has no practice in that. A good talking would have to be made to get him to just not try anything."
"Maybe if I were you. We were never that close. Maybe if he needed me at the moment or he'd get you to try to do it. Either way the result would be the same. I've come to terms with it though. I don't have much time left and that's okay." Another smile surfaced on her face.
"He doesn't spend time around people he doesn't like. I think in a way he did accept you, Molly."
"Just not in the way I wanted, right...I know." There was no sadness in her voice. If anything she seemed content here talking with John. "You are always so supportive John. It makes this a bit easier."
Those were one of the first times they openly spoke of Sherlock without one of them bursting into tears. It was nice. Molly often thought about that time and the others after it. However that was the one she was thinking of when she heard the knock on the door.
She had gotten an visit earlier with John and his girlfriend Mary just to see how she was but a part from that she hadn't been expecting anyone. Toby, her cat meowed up at her as she slowly got up from her position on the sofa. She had the telly on but had been deep in her memories.
Molly held onto her little cat as she stepped up to the door and looked through the peephole. She tensed up momentarily as she surveyed the man standing there. She probably wouldn't have been able to tell who he was if he wasn't staring right into the lenses of the peephole. He was dressed very unlike himself. A cap hiding all his curls, a pair of snug jeans with a pair of chucks on his feet and a dark blue hoodie on. His hands were stuffed in his pocket.
Molly hesitated just a moment before carefully unlocking all of the three locks plus the padlock at the top before opening it with the flick of her wrist. He didn't move at all. She had expected him to brush past her into her home. He stood their observing her before speaking. "Hello."
"Hi." She spoke quietly as she stepped back so he could enter. He passed her quickly and took a seat on a chair in the living room. Molly shut the door and let go of Toby as he squirmed in her arms and then walked back over to her sofa and sat down. She bit the inside of her cheek, not entirely sure what to do now.
There had been time when Molly dreamed of this moment and was more than happy about it. She was happy now but there was always that looming thought that he already knew about her condition. He always knew. He hadn't said anything about it though.
"You moved. It's a nice place." She noticed how slowly he spoke. It was as if he was being careful about every word that left his mouth. It was interesting. "Thank you. I haven't been here too long but I like it better." Molly paused briefly as she noticed his eyes on her. "So you finished what you set out to do I take it."
"Obviously." Molly smiled at his return of his old self. It made her a bit happy. "John will be happy to see you." She added shortly afterwards.
Sherlock nodded in agreement but Molly noticed a bit of sadness in his eyes for a moment before he turned back to his usual expressionless self. "I suppose so. Is everything okay, Dr. Hooper?"
"Yes." She answered without much hesitation even though she was a bit curious about his sudden interest in her well being. Did he know or was he just playing nice? "I'm perfectly fine. Why did you ask?"
"No reason. Just wanted to be sure. I'm not entirely sure if you're telling the truth yet. You've gotten better at hiding your emotions from your face."
"It's been a few years. Things happen." This probably should have been the moment where she told him but she decided that it was better if he didn't know. She wanted this visit to be a nice one. He was back now, after all.
There was a few moments of silence where they just stared at each other before Sherlock spoke. "Would you come with me to tell John?"
"Sure." She nodded as she slowly got to her feet. She could feel his eyes trained on her but she pretended not to notice as she excused herself to change into better pants and put on her shoes. Pajama pants with kittens were hardly appropriate to be visiting a friend. Her white tank under her creamy yellow cardigan was fine though. She slipped on a pair of jeans and put her feet in black ballet flats before returning back to the living room where she had left her handsome guest.
When she returned she found Sherlock holding a frame that had been sitting on the mantel of the fireplace that had been left unlit. It was from this years New Year party at John's home. He insisted they take a picture to commerate the event and later gave everyone a copy of it. It was one of her treasured items. It made her smile every time she passed it. "It's from New Years. We've gotten a bit closer." She stated quietly as he placed it back where he found it and turned to her.
He didn't say anything. It bothered her but she just let it slide as she grabbed the keys to near the front door and he joined her. "You left Barts to come here. Why?"
"I grew tired of cutting up bodies and so I left."
It was as close to the truth as she was willing to tell him, he could see that. It did bother him that he couldn't tell right away. She just seemed different. She hadn't even tried to hug him but he had seen the glee shining in her eyes when he was the one standing on the otherside of that door.
"I do care about your wellbeing, I feel that you should know that."
"Okay. I am happy to see you. I figured I didn't have to say it because you always see things."
"Not always, Molly." He mumbled as he opened the door and rushed out. It left her puzzled but she soon joined him inside a taxi he hailed for them. He waited for her to slide in before joining her.
The drive from Cardiff back to London would take awhile but neither of them felt it was necessary to speak. Both thinking, both trying not to glance at the other. Each for a different reason. Molly wished to tell him because it was becoming increasingly obvious that this was the thing that he missed. It almost made her laugh remembering that particular statement he used a lot in the past. Missing one thing could be the breakdown of the whole case or in this case what could happen next.
Sherlock wasn't really into being discreet. He looked at his companion a few moments out of the time trying to see if there had been a change. From his view he could see her smiling a bit brughter. That had to be a good indication, right? He watched her a bit more to see if something else would change before turning back ahead. There was still what lay ahead to think about.
Every day that he was away getting closer and closer to come back he found himself finding time to think about all of them. John Watson had been one he thought of often. Always curious about what would happen once they were back in the same room together. There was a chance that a few bruises would surface during it. It would be okay afterwards, he continued to tell himself that.
There were things he missed about each one of them. Then there were things he wished to do in general. One he slowly began to want to do now that he was close enough to one of them. Then he did.
He reached over and carefully grabbed Molly's hand and just held it. There wasn't much to it really. No sudden intertwining of their fingers, no explanations just an action that spoke volumes better than anything that would tumble out his mouth. He would get it wrong, he knew that.
Molly seemed to understand him. She always did even if he tried to shove her far away. He just needed the human contact again of someone familiar. She was here now and so was he. She didn't turn her head, didn't even speak she just gave a small twitch of her hand to let him know she got it.
There wasn't much more after that. The taxi stopped and Molly and Sherlock exited the car quickly. Molly looked up at him and smiled again. "I think I should go in first. It'll be surprise enough that I'm here this late. Don't really want to overwhelm them."
"Ah. Right. Mary Mortsan." He nodded as he stuffed his pockets again and waited.
Molly took that as a good opportunity to go ahead and ring the doorbell. Sherlock moved out the way of the peephole knowing that he wasn't supposed to be visible yet. The sound of John's voice asking who it was stilled him momentarily before Molly began talking. "It's Molly. I need to talk to you about something. It's kind of important." She began shifting from one leg to the next as she waited. It wasn't too long before the door opened and John was there looking worriedly at the former pathologist.
Sherlock had moved again to the side where he wasn't visible by them but covered by the shadows. He watched their exchange, John hugged her before telling her to come inside. Molly smiled at him as John turned back around to head back inside. She was telling him to wait there for a moment.
Molly disappeared inside and soon joined John in their living room. "Are you feeling okay, Molls?" He asked as he sat across from her in his chair. "Yeah." She nodded. "I'm fine, something came up and I felt better if I discussed it in person. There is someone I need you to talk to."
"Oh? Who is it?"
"They're outside." Molly said carefully. She wasn't too sure how this would go. Mary looked a bit apprehensive about this but told John to bring them inside. She was always so sweet, Molly wondered what happen now. She just sat there with her hands folded in her lap...waiting.
John had gone to fetch the person. There had been a bit of a commotion outsidd before the sound of feet were heard coming towards the living room. Molly and Mary looked up to see the state of the two. Mary was the first to speak while Molly kind of scrunched up on the couch at John's heated glance thrown her way.
"S-Sherlock Holmes." Mary choked out as she got to her feet.
There was a moment of silence before Molly heard anything. Sherlock was talking. "I made her promise not to tell you anything. No need to make her feel bad about it."
"I was dealing with other things too. Sorry, John." Molly said as she fiddled with her hands. Sherlock watched John slowly calm down and move over and take a seat next to Molly. Mary smiled as John quickly apologized and gave her a small side hug.
"There are a few others that should be here I think." John said, looking back up at his friend. There was a quick acknlowedge of agreement before a few calls were made by Mary.
More shocking realizations by the duo that came inside. Lestrade just stilled and kept opening his mouth like a fish before he finally managed to say something. "You're supposed to be dead. Yes, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be dead." He mumbled as he walked towards him and began inspecting him before finally reaching out to shake his hand. "It's nice to see you too, Lestrade."
"Sherlock Holmes. You...what...I don't understand." Mrs. Hudson cried as Sherlock quickly aporoached her upon her lack of movement to greet him. She was in shock, that much was clear. "I never died Mrs. Hudson. I faked my death to protect you, Lestrade and John. I had Molly help me and then I disappeared for awhile."
There was a few brief moments of silence before she embraced him quickly and told him repeatedly to never ever do that again. Molly watched on, smiling at how normal this seemed for all of them. There were only a few of them but really there were enough of them to last a lifetime. Sherlock was careful about who he chose to be around. If you were one of the lucky ones, Molly thought you were truly special or important to him.
It was a nice for her to see how they interacted with each other. She would never have expected all of this happiness. It was lovely.
Once she was sure that she wasn't needed and grew tired she slowly edged her way out of the atmosphere. There was a lot of laughter that could be heard on the outside as she found a cab on the next block that was still on duty.
She found herself smiling again as she rode on home. She felt truly at peace now that another part of her life had been restored. She didn't expect to happen now between herself and the consulting detective but she was genuinely happy.
Back at John's place there had been a slight shift in the atmospheres energy. It had calmed down a bit and each of them began to notice. "Molly left then?" John asked Mary as he saw her sitting close to the spot where their friend once was. Mary nodded. "She said she was tired and that she would call tomorrow to see how everyone was doing."
"She left her keys." Sherlock stated as he walked over to the couch and picked up the small ring of keys. "I can go make sure she gets in okay. I'm not tired and you all are exhausted so it's not a problem." He mumbled as he walked placed the keys in his pocket.
"I can go with you."
"Are you sure?" Sherlock chose to direct that more to Mary than John but with a firm nod on her part they set off. John was beginning to worry and Sherlock planned to find out what was the matter during the taxi ride to Cardiff. There was more than enough time.
John didn't indulge him until the last couple minutes of the drive. "I have a bad feeling about this."
"Why?"
"Something happened while you were away."
"I've known that for awhile. Why won't any of you just tell me?" There was an edge to his tone that John noted was out of exasperation.
"She didn't want us to. I want to know for sure she's okay before I say anything." Another sound of annoyance emitted from his friend before they came to a stop. There was a serious problem.
There were many officials standing around the front of Molly's place. The door of a taxi was open but no one was out of it. The men rushed through the small crowd once they were out of the car. "Shit." John cursed as he crouched in front of the open door. It was Molly but she was just sitting there. Her body was angled towards the front, her face was turned towards the outside and a smile adorned her face but there were many things wrong.
Her eyes were focused in the distance, unblinking. Her body was relaxed but rigid and there was blood coming out of her nostrils. "Molly." Sherlock sighed as he slowly joined John.
"Five months ago she found about it. A brain aneurysm, but she chose to not get the surgery."
"Idiot. Why would she do that?" He tightened his hold on the rings of keys in his pocket. It should have been obvious that she was not right. In fact, he knew that he just didn't ask. He thought she would have told him. She wanted to discuss everything else with him previously.
"Because she didn't want anyone cutting into her brain. She rather let it run it's course."
"The keys. She forgot them."
"Yes." John mumbled as he reached out and attempted to close her eyelids but then Sherlock swatted his hands away.
Oh. He got it. He wanted to do it himself. He moved back and let his friend do it. They couldn't stay too long. After a few moments they were asked to step back so that the medics could take her body away from the scene.
Sherlock let out a deep breathe as he fiddled with the keys again. He blinked a moment before walking over to the door and letting himself in. John had called out to him but he ignored him as he shut the door. He walked over to the chair he had been seated in a few hours ago and sat down again.
Soon he was greeted by a meow and he picked up the small cat and let him curl into his lap. He sat there awhile just looking around. Nothing changed of course but there was the overwhelming aura of the homes owner. Every spot had a touch of who she was.
It felt incomplete now however.
Three days past quickly and then John came and instructed him to get dressed for the funeral. Sherlock hadn't exactly been aware of the time as he slowly went towards the small bathroom and changed clothes into the suit he was accustomed to wearing. His purple shirt was chosen among the attire. A small twitch of his mouth moved upwards.
It was her favorite of his shirts, he remembered.
The ceremony moved quickly. A few people spoke and the eulogy was given by Molly's grandmother, Nana Hooper whom Sherlock found himself realizing was much like her granddaughter.
He nearly jumped as she called his name. She asked if he'd like to say something. He vaguely remembered John mentioning that he would be asked in the taxi over but he didn't dwell on it much.
He slowly got to his feet regardless and made his way through the somewhat large crowd. He surveyed the crowd a moment before landing on his friend John Watson who gave him an encouraging nod and he began speaking slowly.
"There were a couple things I noticed about Molly during our last encounter. She kept smiling as if every moment brought her joy. Each smile was different but all were very genuine. She was a genuine person and that's one of the things I'll keep with me always. The always genuine and smiling Molly Hooper."
There was a moment were no movement was made but then the gasps apoeared quickly. Sherlock quickly turned, wiping away the wettness that had leaked out of his eyesocket and walked away. He was in the middle of a few moments of weakness. Much like that time when he watched his friends at his own grave. This was real however.
There was no way for them to fix this. No matter how much he wished he could. There weren't many people like Miss Molly Hooper in this world and now there wasn't even one as far as he was concerned.
It didn't take too long for John Watson to find him. He hadn't gone that far. Just away a little. He had fished out the pack of cigarettes he had found in the drawer of Molly's place. She didn't smoke, they were the ones she took from hin before he left.
"She wouldn't want you to do that, Sherlock."
Sherlock ignored him as he lit the cancer stick and inhaled the fumes. "It's only one."
John wasn't sure what to do. That back there had been a shock to him. Sherlock never shed a tear. He never showed hid true emotions to the general public.
Molly had been someone truly special to him then.
Halfway through the cigarette he tossed it and stomped on it with his shoe. "Let's go." Sherlock mumbled as he began walking back towards the cars.
"Are you okay?" John felt like he had to ask. He was worried about his friend after that display at the burial site.
"When am I not?"
There was no answer need, John knew they needn't to go any further with it. The answer was obvious to them and so he let it go.
Sherlock stopped someways from the car and turned back to the site of burial. They were further away from it but he felt the need to look back. To finally get a bit of peace of mind before leaving.
Goodbye, Molly Hooper.
A/N: Like I said in the notes at the beginning this was a result of my mind deciding to fuck with me and have me bawling my eyes out at this whole thing and so I had to write it. It's pretty long. I think it turned out as well as I thought it up. I hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to give me any kind of feedback you can! See you soon.
Love,
Day
Medical terminology:
(1): Computed tomography (CT) scan. A CT scan can help identify bleeding in the brain. Sometimes a lumbar puncture may be used if your doctor suspects that you have a ruptured cerebral aneurysm with a subarachnoid hemorrhage.
(2): Magnetic resonance angiography (MRA). Similar to a CTA, MRA uses a magnetic field and pulses of radio wave energy to provide pictures of blood vessels inside the body. As with CTA and cerebral angiography, a dye is often used during MRA to make blood vessels show up more clearly.
