A/N: Wrote this after reading one to many fanfic's about a boy not staying true to the person he likes, and he goes and sleeps with some other girl he doesn't like. Pisses me off so much, so I decided to drabble to vent my anger...and this sorta popped out. Hope you enjoy the childhood trauma that caused my OC to become a tad bit fucked up.

Disclaimer: do not own death note, only my OC.

Warnings: Rating may change...it's gonna change.

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Age 4

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"Okay sweetie, just make a small cut right here." my mother told me while guiding my hand to the place she had marked with red lines on his stomach.

My father was still making muffled noises from beneath the gray duct tape placed firmly over his mouth, I couldn't understand him but he kept on looking at me as if he expected me to.

When my hand that held the silver scalpel was directly over the line, my mother pushed my hand downwards until it pierced his skin and a dew drop of blood came oozing out. My father screamed from beneath the tape once again and I suddenly felt the urge to run away again. Whenever my paper cuts bled it stung, I didn't want daddy to feel like that.

My mother held me firmly though "That's good sweetie, now drag in the direction of the line, like how you trace in art class." my mother encouraged.

I swallowed thickly and did as I was told. The line went all the way across his stomach and as I gained more progress in cutting, my father screamed louder and louder, struggling against his restraints. It made my hand unsteady.

My mother snarled and stabbed my father's hand with another cutting utensil "Shut the fuck up you cheater!" she hissed in his face.

I noticed father was crying, his face and eyes were a deep red. Again, it made me wonder if he was okay.

I didn't dare speak up though. Not when my mother was in such a frightening mood.

Once my mother yanked out the silver utensil from my father's hand she placed her hand back onto mine and started guiding me again.

I was soon met with a putrid metallic smell that made me gag. Blood sprayed my face and palms, I wiped it away with the back of my hands.

I looked up to my mother miserably "Mama, I don't like this, it smells bad." I told her, showing my bloodied hands.

My mother frowned deeply but then smiled and patted my head "Okay sweetie, just go upstairs and wash your hands while I finish up down here, okay?" She said.

I nodded happily and ran upstairs, leaving the foul smelling basement filled with medical supplies behind.

I was about to wash my hands when I suddenly saw my friend Emma get off the bus from the window. I hadn't gone to daycare today so I hadn't seen her before now.

Her mother was at the bus stop waiting for her. I waited for Emma to look my way.

When she did, I smiled and waved at her. She did the same and tugged at her mother's sleeve so she could wave also.

Emma's mom gave me a big smile and I waved at her too.

Then she slowly stopped smiling.

I think she noticed how dirty I was, so I wiped the sticky liquid off of my hands using my shirt.

Emma's mom pulled out her phone.

-:-

My mother held me close to her chest and crooned over and over again "I love you so much, I love you so much." to me. Her still bloodied hands covered my ears while she rocked us back and forth.

I think she was trying to block out the sounds of the police sirens outside, but without much success.

"Please miss, this is your last warning, release the girl into our custody and then come out of the house with your hands above your head." a loud voice from outside commanded.

My mother took my face in between her hands and gave me butterfly kisses all over my face. She was crying.

"Oh sweetie, I have to go, I'm so sorry, I have to go." She said to me.

I gripped her sleeves as I started crying too "No, I don't want you to leave." I told her.

She shook her head "I have to sweetie, your mama is dirty, and she did a bad thing. She let a filthy man touch her, use her. Sweetie, you have to promise me something, okay?"

I nodded obediently, like I always did when she asked me to promise something.

My mother tightened her hold on my face, digging her nails into my soft cheeks "Never let a dirty man use you. He'll make you dirty too. Your daddy was a filthy man, remember that slut you saw him hugging? She was dirty too! Never do what they did, never! Do you understand me?" My mother told me with a serious expression.

"Yes mama" I sobbed.

"You are my precious little girl, and I love you so so sooo much, April." My mother kissed me on my forehead one last time and swiped a stray black tendril of my hair behind my ear "Bye baby." she whispered to me.

Then she reached for the gun sitting on her lap between us.

She brought it up to her head.

I was once again sprayed with a foul metallic liquid.

"Mama?"

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A/N: Yeah...review and tell me what you think so far.