Those Who Fly
It was inappropriately bright outside for this kind of visit, the boy reflected thoughtfully as he stared unblinkingly at the sun out of the window of his car. The trees that grew on the edges of his childhood memories were blurring as they rushed past his eyes, so different from the ones that grew in the parks of Domino City. I never got to take you there...the boy thought sorrowfully with a pang of pain and guilt.
The car came to an abrupt halt. The boy's head slammed into the window and he rubbed it, muttering a string of Japanese curses under his breath. Being bilingual had its uses at times. The driver grunted an almost inaudible apology, and said in a gruff, emotionless voice, "This is the place, I presume, Master Bakura?"
Ryou glanced outside at the indistinguishable stretch of forest...indistinguishable, that was, to everybody except him. He doubted even his father remembered this place anymore. He had probably erased it from his mind just like every other memory before that day.
The silver haired boy frowned in concentration as his eyes scanned the trees for that one landmark...ah, there. Two branches curled into a shape that, to Ryou, looked just like a heart. Touchingly appropriate for her final resting place.
"Thank you," Ryou said stiffly, climbing out of the car into the crisp evening air. It smelled like pine...a memory of a pine-scented pincushion lying amongst the materials of a child's sewing kit flashed in front of Ryou's eyes like a bright supernova.
His eyes burning with memories of long lost times, Ryou absentmindedly stepped into the forest. It was cool and silent save for birdsong and insect noises, just like always. The marker he had left on the big oak tree to point him on his way was still bright orange, just like always.
The smell of flowers preceded her grave, just like always.
Ryou had insisted she be buried in this specific spot...he threw a tantrum and whined and cried until he got his way...just like Amane would have. His mother had never been too fussed about nature and the wild things in it, so she had been buried in a normal, commonplace graveyard. Ryou didn't think Amane deserved something as trite as that. If she had the chance to pick, she would have picked here...he just knew. A small clearing in the forest, where sun dappled leaf shadows onto her gravestone and countless types of flora grew around the edges.
A memory was knocking on the door to his soul room, so he closed his eyes and tentatively opened it to let it in.
"Ryou! Hey...cream puff! Wake up, silly! We're going hiking with Daddy today, remember?"
Memory Ryou opened his eyes slowly and beheld the blurred image of his sister jumping up and down on top of his bed, chocolate eyes sparkling with delight. That was the only part of her that was clear. The rest of her, her white hair, pink shirt and white shorts, had faded and become cloudy with time.
But Memory Amane's enthusiasm for life had definitely not been blurred. She was pulling the bedsheets off Memory Ryou, giggling. "Your hair looks like birds could nest in it, Fluffy! Up with you! See, I even wore my new pink shirt for the occasion!" She pulled at it with slender hands.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Memory Ryou grumbled, but under the grumpy facade he was just as excited about this outing as Amane was. Ever since their parents separated, they only got to see each other on the weekend...every second with her was priceless to Ryou.
"Oh, and also," Memory Amane drew herself up in a stance reminiscent of their father's. Lowering her voice as far as she could, she said, "Amane, when we're hiking, you have to make sure you never stray out of Ryou's line of sight...I don't trust you as far as I could throw Uka." She snorted. "Uka's not that heavy!"
As if on cue, their giant wolfhound trotted into the room and threw herself upon Amane, who fell over laughing. Memory Ryou smiled as he watched his sister and the dog tussle. I'll never let you out of my sight, Amane, he said silently to himself. Never ever. As long as you're with me, you're safe.
Memory Amane finally pushed the slobbering wolfhound off her and grinned at Memory Ryou, her bright expression clouded only by time. "Well? What are you waiting for? Let's go!" She held out her hand to Memory Ryou to pull him out of bed...but both Memory Ryou and Ryou could feel the warmth from her hand. They walked down the staircase, hand in hand, Amane whistling a melodic tune like a little bird.
Ryou opened his eyes to hear birdsong, an instrument in the background music of the forest. A small angel statue stood directly in front of him, its eyes closed and a peaceful smile gracing its face. It was mounted upon a smooth slab of a plain, grey stone, words carefully picked by Ryou himself engraved into its surface.
Amane Bakura
Sister, best friend, and soulmate
April 5th, 1987 - October 2nd, 1997
Those who wish to sing always find a song.
Soulmate...Ryou hadn't had the Millennium Ring at the time he had this engraved, and now it seemed a strange play on words when he looked at it. The sudden urge to talk to Amane overwhelmed him, and he sat down cross-legged facing the stone angel. "Hi," he began awkwardly, his voice cracked from emotion and misuse. "I was just thinking about him...he's taking over more than ever now. He's making me hurt my friends." His voice softened as he frowned and concentrated on the spirit of the Ring...it seemed to be surprisingly inactive, not chewing on the edges of his sanity like it usually was.
Ryou's eyes widened in sudden remembrance and his hand went to his pocket. A neatly rolled piece of paper emerged, the message inside it written in both Japanese and English. He unrolled it and checked that he had written everything he had wanted to before carefully rolling it back up and slid it into the small gap between the angel's hands. "There. It has everything about my friends in there. They're awful nice to me, Amane...even after all the horrible things he...I mean, I've done to them." Ryou shuddered slightly and sighed, propping his face on his hands.
"Sorry I haven't been able to visit," he continued, staring at the serene face of the angel. "But...you know, Japanese school...we hardly get vacations at all." This was his first visit in...what, three or four months? When he had lived here, he used to visit every single week... "I just finished the midyear exams...you'd have liked Japanese school, Amane. There's so much work to do!" Ryou smiled faintly as he thought of Amane's strange fetish for studying avidly. She was his polar opposite in that aspect. "You'd have liked Domino City in general, really. It's all so nice and bubbly and happy...well, the food is a little...different." He could almost hear Amane's teasing of him and his blatant preference for British foods. "But just the whole city reminds me of you. Maybe that's why the food doesn't seem so important."
Ryou sighed again and said softly, "I miss you so much..." His voice choked up, but he cleared his throat and continued on, "I miss you so much that he's started saying things like...like if I don't listen to him, he'll erase my memories of you." Tears flooded Ryou's eyes, and he furiously rubbed them with the back of his hand. A few splashed on the gravestone nonethelesss. "I never ever want to forget you, so I have to agree...but then he uses me to hurt my friends!" A tortured sob worked its way out of his throat. "I can't choose, Amane...my friends or you! Both so important...but I can't lose either!" Ryou put his head in his hands and burst into tears, his heart aching with confusion and hurt. Was that the way it was going to be...fate was going to make him choose between his sister and his friends? The only people who cared about what he thought, cared about him as a person. He cried till he had no tears left and could only tremble in fear at the thought of what would happen if he lost his sister again...but then there were his friends, he couldn't go on hurting them either...Amane...Yugi, Joey, Tea, Tristan...
Ryou glanced back up at the angel again, drawing comfort from her tranquil expression. Like Amane sleeping...he thought in spite of himself. He still remember vividly when they still lived together...they used to climb into the others bed when one had nightmares. They would hold hands and sing to each other softly until they fell asleep, arms around each other, protection from the demons of the dark.
Protection from the demons of the dark...that was just what he needed right now, wasn't it?
You have it, Oniisama, he could almost hear her say chidingly. You're just too wrapped up in your own little world to realize it. Wherever you go, wherever you might be...I'm right there with you.
Her voice was so vividly there that Ryou glanced around the clearing. There was nobody, nothing...save for a few birds.
Ryou leaned over and laid his cheek on the cool gravestone, curling his knees into his stomach and looking up at the angel. "I need you, Amane," he murmured, half-closing his eyes so that the world blurred and swam before his eyes. "I can't fight him without you."
You have friends, don't you? It was like there was a small Amane in his mind, scolding him. His cruel mind playing tricks on him...
You have friends, Amane repeated vehemently. With them and me, there's no way that evil ring can win!
"Yes, but," Ryou protested, "you're not there. Just my friends aren't enough. Almost, but no."
I am there, Oniisama. You haven't realized it yet? I'm always there...in your heart.
A faint smile twitched onto Ryou's pale, drawn, and tear streaked face as a realization dawned on him. "Even though you're sleeping," he said out loud to the angel, "you're still looking out for me, aren't you? You're still holding my hand and singing to me and helping me fight back against him, just like we used to for the nightmares." There was a silence as Ryou stared imploringly at the stone angel.
He could have sworn it nodded in agreement.
A bird burst into song.
Ryou stood up, smiling with a brightness that had been absent from his face for too long. "Thank you," he said to the smiling statue. "I should have realized it before...I'll never forget you, no matter what he does. Because you're in here." He tapped his heart. "He may be in here," he tapped his head, "but never in here." Ryou's hand was over his heart, and he smiled as he bowed slightly to the statue. "Bye bye, imouto." The Japanese honorific for little sister slipped out of his mouth without realizing it. "Remember when I used to call you that? When we were at Mummy's? I still do...I hope you do too."
He glanced around the field, and to his delight, spotted many bright yellow daffodils dotting the short grasses. Ryou gently cut them at the stem and gathered a bouquet which he laid on the gravestone. Gazing at it, his hand went to his pocket and he pulled out a ball of tangled hair ribbons. "I still carry this around," he admitted as he extracted one of the pink ones. "Just to keep something of yours on me...here." He tied the flowers in a bow and took a step back, admiring the scene. Perfect.
Ryou waved cheerily at the stone angel before turning his back on it and slowly walking out of the forest, the dying sun glinting off his spiky white hair.
He never noticed the small white bird who, after he was out of eyesight, swooped down and perched on the angel's arm, gently taking the rolled up letter in her beak.
She flew with it back to a large treehole in a pine tree. Inside, unseen by any human or animal, for the little bird was a fierce fighter, were dozens of slightly crumpled letters covering the bottom of the protected home. The knowledge of how to read had faded from her mind along with her humanity, but she still retained memories, sharp and clear. Don't worry, big brother. I haven't forgotten.
She dropped the letter among the rest and flew back out of the hole, flapping her wings desperately to catch the updrafts to the canopy of the forest. She was just in time to see the huge shiny black car cough exhaust and start driving slowly along the curvy, treacherous road. A flash of white hair caught the rays of the setting sun through the window. Goodbye, Oniisama, she thought, imagining projecting her thoughts so that he could hear them too. I'll miss you...but you're right. I am always with you.
Ryou watched the trees with the heart shaped branches as the car drove along down the road. A shaft of light from the sun shone on it, illuminating something small and white. Ryou squinted. It was a dove, perching motionlessly on the branch.
For a fleeting second, he thought he heard Amane's voice. I am always with you...
Ryou smiled bittersweetly and closed his eyes. I know, imouto. And I won't forget it again.
The bird had excellent eyesight, and Ryou's expression right before the car disappeared around a bend was enough to alert her that her message had reached him. Satisfied, she spread her wings and flew back down to her home, where she unrolled the letter and gazed fondly at the Japanese characters and English letters; though illegible, they meant the world to her.
She settled down for the night, tucking her feet under her and her wings into her sides. The cool feel of the paper against her feathers was somehow simultaneously warming, protecting her from the cold winds that had started to blow outside the treehole.
Closing her eyes, she laid her head down on Ryou's signature. It hadn't changed from the time they were children, when they used to write letters to each other from whichever of their parents houses they happened to be at. She had kept every single one, and didn't plan on giving up the habit.
I'll love you forever and ever,
Ryou
