Another day of middle school was over. At last.
That's what Haruka thought to himself everyday when the school bell rang. The days had a bad habit of dragging on endlessly. He never particularly enjoyed school life in the first place, and it had only gotten worse for him. The past few months he had been spending his free time alone. Ever since he won against Rin in that race he found himself withdrawing from everyone and everything. He didn't even see Makoto nearly as much as he used to, especially since he had been invited to the basketball club by that kid. After Haruka had quit the swimming club without mentioning anything, Makoto quit too without a word. Then in the space of a few days one of the kids from the school's basketball team had invited Makoto to join. What was his name again? Haru couldn't remember and to be honest he didn't really care that much.
"I'll see you tomorrow then, Haru." Makoto said as he gathered his stuff together to get ready for basketball practice. Haruka nodded in acknowledgement, not even turning to face him. He hated himself for acting cold to his best friend, but now he was so worried about doing or saying anything to anyone; It seemed like when he was just being himself, he upset others. Haru didn't want that to happen again and he especially did not want to upset Makoto. Makoto was his best friend, the most kind and loving person anyone would meet. Making Rin cry was one thing but if he made Makoto cry, Haru would never forgive himself. He wasn't even sure if he would forgive himself for what happened with Rin, he didn't completely understand what made him cry in the first place. Haruka did know one thing though, it was his fault.
Makoto started to leave the room before he turned around again. "Oh and Haru?"
"Mm?"
"Tell your grandma I hope she gets better soon."
That got Haruka's attention, he turned to face Makoto and nodded with a small, but sad, smile.
"I will. Thanks."
Makoto gave Haru one of his soft gentle smiles before making his way to the school's gym. And with that, Haruka shoved all of his things into his bag and quickly made for the school gates, he wanted to get home quickly to see his grandmother. It would take longer to walk, so he decided he would run home today. It had been so long since he ran, but the way Haru saw it, the faster he was away from the school and in the comforts of his home and his grandma's arms, the better.
Haruka had always been very close with his grandmother, in a way she was the one who raised him. His father was always busy with work and although his mother would make sure Haruka had everything he needed, she was never around for long either. When Haruka had started middle school, he had noticed that he had started seeing his mother less and less. She would be staying with his father, where ever his work had made him go at the time. At the moment he was currently on a business trip in Tokyo and would continue to be there for several months. Despite his mother and father making quick appearances in his life, Haruka's grandmother was a constant. She was always there for him when he came home from school and she would make sure Haru was happy and healthy. And they would talk for hours; many people at school wouldn't believe Haru was capable of talking for hours on end, but when he was spending time with his grandma, time had a tendency to fly by. There were only two people in Haru's life that he felt he could tell everything to, the other person being Makoto.
However, for the past few weeks Haruka had noticed that she had been getting ill and much much weaker. Sometimes she felt so bad she couldn't even leave her bed, so Haru would put himself in charge of all the chores in the house, making sure she didn't try and get out of bed to help him. 'You need to rest, I can take care of it.' he would always say to her and she would always give him a grateful look in return. Once all of the chores were done Haruka would sit with her and they would talk about anything and everything until one of them fell asleep.
As Haruka ran home, he noticed a bouquet of yellow tulips for sale outside the florist. Grandma's favourite, he thought to himself. Dropping his bag on the ground and fumbling for any loose change he might have had, he found enough to afford the tulips. He had some extra change so he added a light blue ribbon to attach them all together. I'm sure she'll love them, maybe they will make her feel better, Haruka allowed a small smile to escape his lips as he carried on making his way home.
When Haru got home he kicked off his shoes and left them in the hallway, almost certain that his grandma would scold him later for it but he didn't care at that moment. He wanted to see her. Although the two of them are very close and she has always been very relaxed with Haruka, she never tolerated untidiness, so if Haru ever got told off for anything, it was that.
"Grandma! I'm home!" he called out with an energetic voice. One that only she ever heard from him on a regular basis. "I got you something I think you'll like." When Haruka received no reply, he guessed that she must still be sleeping. She had stayed in bed to rest longer when Haruka was getting ready for school. Haru couldn't wait to see the smile on her face when he gave her the tulips and wasted no time in leaping up the stairs to her bedroom, where he knew she would be, taking good care to not make too much noise if he was still asleep.
He slowly opened her bedroom door and peered inside. As he thought, she was still in bed, so he pulled up the chair he always sat on when he was in her room.
"Looks like you're still sleeping, you shouldn't sleep too much grandma or you'll get a headache. Anyway, I got you some tulips, they were outside the florists just down the street and I thought you'd like them, since they're your favourite. Also Makoto said he hopes you get better soon, when you're feeling up to it, we should go visit him together."
When there was still no response, Haruka glanced towards her, she was lying on her back, with her face tilted slightly towards him. Her arms were on top of the blankets with her hands clasped together in an elegant and peaceful fashion. Haruka had never known anybody to sleep so elegantly, he often curled into a ball and Makoto would sprawl himself out with limbs dangling awkwardly, making sure he used up every inch of his sleeping space. Haruka placed the tulips down on the bed next to her and shook her slightly on the arm.
"Come on grandma, you should get up now, you've been sleeping all day" he whispered. But there was still no response from her. He shook her arm again, a little more forcefully this time. "Hey, stop pretending to be asleep."
As Haruka waited for her to say something, an uneasy feeling swept over him. He was used to her sleeping for hours and hours on end, but he couldn't help but feel that something here was really wrong. He couldn't pinpoint just what was wrong though. She looked like she always did when she was sleeping, only she had gotten more pale recently. Haru had only just recently noticed, but hoped it was only temporary until she got better again. His eyes lowered down to her hands, resting gently on her still chest.
Wait...still?
Haruka leaned forward to watch for her chest rising and falling, but he couldn't see anything. Immediately, he felt his heart race. He rubbed his eyes quickly and checked again, but there was nothing.
"Grandma? Grandma! Wake up!" He shook her with all his might, wanting so badly for her to open her eyes and say 'just kidding'.
"WAKE UP!"
But after 20 long seconds of shaking, she didn't say anything. She didn't do anything. Rushing towards her head again he placed his head close to hers, listening for any sound of breathing. Nothing. Haru staggered backwards, almost falling over the chair he had just been sitting on, before crumpling to the floor with his head on the blankets,tears streaming from his face into the material.
"No..no..you...you were supposed to be getting better! Once you were better we were going to walk down to the beach! Please..you can't be..you can't be dead.." he almost choked on the word 'dead', wishing it wasn't true. He looked up at her face again, before screaming into the blankets once more. She looked so peaceful, almost like she was sleeping.
Only this time, she wasn't going to wake up.
At some point Haruka had cried himself to sleep, lifting his head from her bed, he glanced at the clock. It had been 5 hours since he found out she had died, but Haruka felt like time had stopped completely. There was no past or present, just dark space. As soon as Haru had lifted his head up the tears feel again. The one person who raised him, made him feel special and that he could do anything, was lying motionless in front of him. She looked exactly the same as he had found her, only her skin had taken to a shade of blue that made Haru feel nauseous.
He sprinted to the bathroom and retched several times before throwing up in the toilet, he stayed there for several moments. Sweat had stuck his hair to his face, his arms and legs shaking viciously and his breathing had quickened. Once he had nothing left to throw up, Haruka removed his head from the toilet side and forced himself to a standing position. Staggering out of the house, Haru had started crying again, his wails being carried away by the wind and his tears blurred his vision. So much that he almost tripped and fell down the stairs several times. He couldn't see where he was going, he just knew where Makoto's house was after spending so much time there. He knocked on the door once before falling to the ground sobbing.
Just seconds later Makoto opened the door. To say he was shocked and distressed at the sight in front of him would be an understatement.
"Haru! What's wrong?! HARU!" Makoto knelt down and shook Haru, who continued to cry violently. He looked at Haru's mouth with had liquid dribbling from the side, indicating he had been sick. But Haru wouldn't be so upset just from being sick, Makoto thought to himself and linked his arms under Haru's to get him into an upright position. Haru spoke so quietly that Makoto almost missed what he had said.
"gone.."
"Haru..what do you mean gone?"
"She's gone...S-she's dead Makoto"
As soon as the words left Haru's mouth, Makoto almost dropped Haruka. She's dead? There's no way..no she can't have..Makoto looked down at Haru, he had started shaking again and screamed, collapsing onto Makoto, relying on the other to keep him upright. Makoto felt his own tears creep out held Haru tightly, stroking his hair gently, trying to get him to calm down. He knew it would be hopeless though, Makoto was shocked to hear Haru's grandmother had died, he couldn't even begin to imagine how Haru must feel. Makoto's parents arrived moments later, wondering what all the noise was about, Makoto turned to them with tears in his eyes, choking out 'She died' and suddenly they knew. Both parents crouched down and embraced the younger children., thinking to themselves. Haruka is 14. 14! He shouldn't have to deal with this at such a young age.
Years later, a 17 year old Haruka had just finished having one of his baths before heading to bed. Usually he just went straight to his room but on his way there, he made a detour to another room in the house, one which he hadn't been in in several years. Opening the door slowly, Haruka looked inside.
Everything in there was exactly the same as it was back then, he couldn't bring himself to change anything in there. For several moments he just stood there, taking in his surroundings, his gaze drifted to her bed and he remembered that awful night. He would never forget that moment, when he life fell apart in front of him. Over time he had managed to pick up some of the pieces, but no matter what, there was always going to be part of him missing. Feeling slightly relieved he was alone, a few tears slipped out the corners of his eyes as he made his way out of the room. He closed the door and leaned on the wall outside before sinking down onto the floor, burying his face in his hands.
I miss you so much grandma...
