I can kill you with the snap of my wand
And Merlin knows I get all the ladies
But there's a question that haunts me
It sometimes drives me crazy
I'm the darkest dark wizard
That you will ever see
But still that question haunts me
Its really driving me crazy
I can torture you within an inch of your life
And have you begging at my knees
But still that question haunts me
Why can't I kill babies?
In the darkest hours of the night
And the tedious hours of the day
I ponder this question endlessly
It chases all other thoughts away
Sniveling little snot-rags
That don't have any hair
Not that I do, either
But my point is still there
They can't even talk
Let alone use magic
So how did this situation
End up so awfully tragic?
Bested by a baby
Just sniveling in a crib
It just can't be possible
It must be a trick or a fib
So if I can torture you easily
And have you begging at my knees
Won't somebody tell me please
WHY I CAN'T KILL SODDING BABIES?!
