'nother lj request. this one was 'Minamimoto/Konishi with bad math pick up lines'. yes i had to google them


Mean Value

She really had no idea what to make of him.

Everything about his appearance positively screamed 'hooligan', though she couldn't deny that he was a prime specimen of manhood. He was rebellious, flaunted authority, and had wild delusions of grandeur. Most of what came out of his mouth was utter nonsense. But it was impossible to argue with his numbers—in more ways than one. She could respect his work ethic—he was the quickest to ever rise to Harrier, and if he continued he would make officer in no time. His schemes and traps, while impossible to make sense of, worked almost infallibly.

Konishi prided herself on her observational skills and judgement. Hell, she prided herself on pretty much everything. But try as she might, she simply could make no sense of Minamimoto.

"Nice asymptote."

Just what the hell was that supposed to mean! She didn't know whether to feel offended or flattered. Was that supposed to be an insult, or a pick up line? Or was he just trying to get her flustered? Regardless of the intent, that was certainly the end product. She continuously voiced her concerns to the Conductor, but he merely chuckled and shrugged it off, referring to Minamimoto's rather intimidating record, pointing out that it was better even than hers.

Konishi hated numbers sometimes. More often since Minamimoto came onto the scene. Math was supposed to be predictable—always one right answer. But with him, there never was one. And he was anything but predictable.

"I wish I were a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves."

"I'll take you to your limit if you show me your end behavior."

"Let me integrate our curves so that I can increase our volume."

It was an off game week when she had finally decided she'd had enough. She'd been walking through the Trail of the Sinner when he'd slid up behind her and murmured in her ear, "int[2x,x,10,13]?"

Before she even knew what she was doing, she'd slammed Minamimoto up against the wall. Her mouth was on his, hot and fierce—more as though she were trying to devour him than kiss him—and her hands were practically ripping at his clothes.

Fuck if she knew what he was saying, but damned if it wasn't hot as all hell.

When all was said and done, they both sat slumped against the wall in absolutely atrocious states of disarray. They weren't touching or leaning against each other; both simply stared forward, panting lightly from exertion. After a few moments of silence, he turned to look at her. "I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you home to my domain."

She turned to him, a positively evil smirk curling her lips. And with a soft giggle, she slapped him right across the face. The Iron Maiden stood and straightened her stockings and hair before looking down at him. "Perhaps someday I'll let you explore my mean value." And then she simply walked away.

If it wasn't for refractory periods, Sho would have been hard all over again.