The usual Disclaimers:
Don't own any of the Character's... just doing this for fun. Not earning any money.
-change of events: amber didn't die-
kutner had been lying. when everybody wondered why he knew that amber was seeing anyone. he had been lying. he hadn't asked out amber. he had finally found the courage to ask james. after first laying eyes on him at a medical conference a year before he actually applied for the job at ppth. james had been giving a speech about some oncology related thing. he can't remember what exactly it was about. he hadn't exactly been listening because he had been too busy staring at james, taking in every feature of his face and body. When he got the job and found out that his new boss and james were best friends, he had been jealous, frightened and even happy because he had a chance of maybe connecting with him. But James never paid any attention to him, not in the slightest. Although Lawrence tried to be specially funny when he was around. It never worked.
And then, after a year of employment at ppth, he finally got a grip on himself and asked him. It was a late night, he was alone, monitoring a patient that could take a turn for the worst every minute. He saw light in the oncologists office. It happened in a fraction of a second that he decided he would go for it, and he found himself knocking on the door of the man he had been eyeing for so long a second later. James had assumed something was wrong with the patient. And there was a lot of stuttering and looking down at his shoes (he hated himself for being so selfconcious at times like this) involved until he had finally managed to bring out something audible that sounded like "do want go for a drink sometime?" Then there had been silence. A long silence. And Lawrence didn't dare to look up and into the older man's eyes. And when laughter reached his ears, he shut his eyes for a second, mumbled an excuse and headed for the door. He only understand two words under james laughter before the door closed for good. "seeing amber"
He half expected everyone else to know within the next day, but they didn't. Nobody hinted anything. Not a single "fagot" remark. And those had been daily wherever and to whoever he had came out to. family, school, friends, workplaces. That's why he had sworn himself not to be open about it at ppth. But instead, something a lot worse happened. James started teasing him, secretely. He would give him superior looks, make tiny gestures and grimaces behind everybody's back so that only he would see and understand. The oncologist even went so far as to show up at the pub lawrence usually went to. Along with an oblivious amber. Amber never saw him in the crowd, and she never suspected a specific reason why james liked that pub so much. and why should she? she loves him. and he loves her.
After a year of this, Lawrence couldn't take it anymore. He had tried dating someone else, but i didn't work. All he thought about was James Wilson. And when he found out that the oncologist and his lucky girlfriend were now engaged, it pushed him over the edge.
He had purchased the gun years ago, for protection. And he actually knew how to handle it. And since he didn't intend to write any sentimental letters to anyone, all he had to do
was get himself a time window. Taub helped him out.
Of course without being aware of it.
pulling the trigger was simple.
because when he closed his eyes, he only saw him.
Please review. Thanks.
