A/N:
My apologies for the unintentional short hiatus! I began writing this fic and just sort of got stuck somewhere- so I'm starting to publish it in the hope it will urge me on to finishing it. I know where it's going, it's just getting there that's the problem. Thank you to ALL who have reviewed my fics in the meantime and to everyone still with me.
He should have seen it coming.
Kirk should have known- somehow- that the efficient, peaceful life he had managed to build for himself and his crew, would not last.
It was his job, after all- he was the Captain, and this was his fault. His responsibility.
The planet had seemed quiet enough; sensor scans had revealed no humanoid life and nothing bigger than an Earth cat. They had beamed down in a jovial mood- even Spock had been almost smiling.
Spock.
Fuck. Spock had become so much more to him in the last year than Kirk had ever thought possible. First enemies; then reluctant colleague- to friend, and then to …whatever it was now. Lover? The term seemed hollow. Boyfriend was too childish. Spock had a word for it- he had a word for everything- but Jim could never remember it.
And now Spock was gone, was probably dead on that stupid, cold, fucking planet- and Jim felt more helpless than he had since he was a small boy.
The attack had come as a complete surprise. The landing party- Spock, Bones, Jim, two ensign security officers and a science officer- had barely unholstered their phasers before two of them fell dead, sharp blades shaped like boomerangs almost decapitating one and slicing the other's stomach. It was a chaotic mess- blood everywhere, the floor slick and sticky as the remaining four attempted to retreat, unable to see their attackers. They had no time to tend to Ensign Peters or Lieutenant Forrest; there was no hope for them and even McCoy did not protest as they ran for cover.
They ducked behind a boulder, the confusion and noise clouding their judgement- and Ensign Carruthers paid for it, as he raised his head above the rock to look for the enemy. His body fell, twitching- and his head followed after, blood gushing from his severed neck and covering Kirk, Spock, and McCoy in hot crimson liquid.
Spock, cool even in this nightmare, had opened his communicator, asked to be beamed up- and Kirk felt the transportation begin with a wash of almost painful relief. He had looked around at the others, and had been just in time to see another sharp bladed boomerang twisting through the air, a sharp whistling noise in its wake.
"Spock!"
Anguished, he watched as the glistening blade tore into his first officer's back, embedding itself into his flesh and causing a splash of green blood to come rushing out- just as he beamed aboard the Enterprise, his arm still out as he reached for Spock- who wasn't there, the sudden injury having caused him to stagger backwards at the critical point of transportation.
Of course they had beamed back down almost immediately, Kirk frantic and shaking- but there was no trace of any of their fallen crew members except the blood coating the soil.
And now here they were, orbiting the planet, and with strict instructions from Starfleet not to return to its surface- not even for Spock, who may still be alive. They were sending a specially trained unit out to them.
And that won't be here for another two weeks- damn it, we've wasted enough time already.
There were no life signs on the planet- none that their sensors could detect, anyway. They had nothing- no idea where to start looking, and Jim was falling apart, silently and devastatingly.
"Scan again."
"Captain- we've tried a dozen times already, I-"
"I don't care- again! Find something, anything."
Uhura returned to her instruments with a sad, understanding expression, and Jim continued to pace.
"Jim, you have to rest," tried McCoy, placing a gentle hand on Kirk's shoulder. He shrugged it off like it burned, wheeling to glare at his friend.
"Don't you fucking dare, Bones. Not now. Not Spock."
"Jim- I know, I know you're worried sick, but you can't help him if you're exhausted."
"I'm fine." I have to be fine. "I'm not giving up on him, you understand?"
"I know." McCoy stared at him for a long moment, his gaze troubled and unreadable, before shrugging, nodding almost imperceptibly and stepping back. "It's your call."
"It's Spock, Bones. He wouldn't give up on me. I can't-" Kirk shook his head, wild-eyed. "I know you're trying to keep me safe, I really do, but I'm not going to let him die, do you hear? I cannot let him die down there."
"You can't save everyone, Jim."
"I will save him."
Bones smiled without humour. "Even if it kills you- again. I know."
Jim felt a momentary pang of guilt- he knew that look, knew how well Bones hid his own pain about the memory of Kirk's death. He grimaced and grabbed the back of McCoy's neck, forcing him to look Kirk in the eye. "I swear I will come back alive."
"You'd better, or I'll kill you." It was almost a smile, a flicker of genuine amusement, and Kirk grinned briefly, nodding and releasing his friend before turning and beginning his circuit of the bridge once more. "Uhura- what have you got?"
"Captain- still no sign of any life forms. I'm sorry; they just- disappeared-"
"Don't say that- don't ever apologise like you've given up, Lieutenant. Try again."
"Yes, Captain."
"What about the blood, Captain?" Sulu suddenly said, turning his chair to look at Jim hopefully. "If Spock was bleeding-" Kirk winced at the memory "-we could perhaps run a trace based on Spock's blood composition and follow it like a scent trail."
"Mr. Sulu, you might be a genius. Uhura, can you do that? Remember Spock's blood is copper based, adjust the sensors for that."
"Yes, Captain. It will take a moment."
Kirk gritted his teeth, looking over at McCoy anxiously as he waited. The doctor stood impassively, the only sign of his inward anxiety the flexing of his fingers as he waited with arms folded.
After what felt like hours, Uhura confirmed. "Running scan now, Captain. We should be able to see Commander Spock's blood as a light green line on the surface map."
They watched, barely daring to breathe, as a faint but distinct line appeared, beginning where the landing party had beamed down. It became stronger as it moved off towards the west, the line glowing brightly for a long stretch before fading once more, ultimately disappearing altogether only to reappear several miles away near a cave system where it stopped.
"They must have taken him in there," Kirk pointed. "I'll beam down-"
"Jim- you can't. Starfleet have ordered us to wait, as you damn well know."
Kirk straightened up and turned to look at McCoy. His heart thudded painfully in his chest, his breath tightened with panic and grief. "Bones. Fuck Starfleet."
"The regulations-"
"And fuck the regulations, too. I'm going down there, now."
"Well fine. I knew you'd say that- just thought I should be the voice of reason since yours has left the building. I'm coming with you."
"No, you're damn well not-"
"I'm a doctor, Jim. I hate to say it, but it's likely he's going to need one."
Kirk hesitated, torn between protecting at least one of his friends and the knowledge that Bones was right. The doctor stared him down, one eyebrow half raised. The gesture reminded him of Spock and his heart hurt with the memory.
"Alright. Just us though- I don't want anyone else taking the blame for this from Starfleet. Mr. Sulu- you have the conn."
"Aye, sir."
"And if Command try to talk to us- stall them?"
Sulu smiled, a twitch of his lips that made Kirk recall the last time Sulu had been left in charge. His confidence grew.
"Yes, Captain."
