Hello everyone! It's the DigiOTPWeek over on Tumblr! And I'm! Super late on these prompts. Oh, like you wouldn't BELIEVE.
I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting to upload any of my stories until after I went through them completely and tweaked them, and the whole nine yards. But this story was meant to be short, I ended up extending my goal word count by like three thousand! (ahahahah woops...) While I can just post it on my tumblr and leave it there...I feel like the format to read such extensive writing is best left for sites like FFnet.
Believe or not, I'm a pretty big fan of Taikeru. Usually I don't write out full on fics of them. Mainly cause Takeru isn't exactly my go-to comfort zone. This fic was quite a challenge for me. I'm not used to writing Takeru, so hopefully I got him correct. Plus I'm not used to writing such...fluff. Really, happy comfort zone cute stories are not my forte. I don't know why I keep telling myself to write such happy stories.
Either way! Here's a Taichi/Takeru fanfic! This is meant to be platonic, but hey, if you like it, feel free to think further!
Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoy!
Hot water in. Instant coffee powder dissolved. Splash of milk. Two cups of sugar. Taichi didn't have to take a sip to see if needed to add anything else. His late night coffee mix was perfect. After all, this was his third time making it this week.
It was late, a boring night for Taichi. He had a paper to write, and was left all alone to do so. It was just Taichi, his cup of coffee, and more words on a worn out keyboard about why housing market prices were a factor in determining a gross domestic product.
Taichi couldn't help but groan at the thought of it. His major was interesting. But his classes were so boring.
He rested his lips on the edge of his mug, blowing gently as he tried to walk back toward his room. Along the way, he heard the doorbell ring. Taichi jerked back, as he turned his head around to glare at the front door. Who the hell would be here half past eleven? Yamato was out tonight. Bar hopping with his lab partners as they just finished some tough exam. And Taichi definitely didn't invite anyone over considering how economic crises since the 1940's was demanding his immediate attention. If Yamato was coming home tonight, he had a key. If he lost the key, his lab mates had Taichi's cell number. So who the hell would actually be bothering to ring the doorbell?
Taichi's questioning glare faltered as a light knock thudded against the door. Well. Whoever it was, they weren't very patient.
Taichi sighed, putting his mug on the counter. As he treaded through the modest apartment, he unlocked the door before checking to see who it was, "Yes?—!"
"Nii-san!" A wet slobbering cry ripped through Taichi's ears. Only followed by a heavy tackle that near knocked the wind out of Taichi. In an immediate sense of urgency, Taichi grabbed onto the door frame to prevent himself from falling, small hands gripped the front Taichi's shirt, pulling it down to the point where the material around the collar stretched. The heavy force that was pushing him back was only aided by the person digging his head further in Taichi's chest. Taichi could hear heavy sobs and all he saw was a head of darkened blond hair that was getting tangled by all of the movement.
"Takeru?" Taichi managed to stumble out, "What—"
"Nii-san! It's horrible!" Takeru wailed out anyway, "It's awful, stupid! I hate this so much!"
"Uh well—"
"Niiiiii-san! I don't want to do this anymore! This is the worst! The absolute worst! Just tie me up and throw me in the ocean! Put me in a box and ship me out in the middle of Antarctica! Just anything so I don't have to deal with this anymore! Nii-san!"
"I'm not—"
"Nii-san! I'm tired of this! Why can't I just act dumb and be someone's stupid trophy husband! That's possible isn't it! I don't want to suffer from hard work anymore! I just want to live easy and not have to worry about anything anymore!"
"Well that's—"
"Niiiii-saaaan!"
Taichi near growled, "Takeru!" He grit out between his teeth, grabbing onto Takeru's to pull him off, "I'm not Yamato!"
Finally free from the grating 'nii-sans' Taichi could get a good solid look at his surprise visitor. Takeru sniffed, his light blue eyes were cloudy and red shot. His nose was dripping (though the intense continually sniffing prevented the snot from running down) but most of all, the expression on his face was twisted in confusion. Almost as if he had forgotten that both his brother and Taichi lived together since starting university.
Takeru cleared his throat. Rubbing his face clean with the ends of sleeve, "Tai-Taichi," He stuttered, cheeks now flushing with color, "Uh I...sorry about that," His attempt at chuckling to cover up his embarrassment failed, miserably, "Is um…my brother home…"
Taichi didn't have any expression clear on his face. He sighed and shook his head, "Uh no, he's gonna be out late. He might even not come back home today."
Takeru shrank. Pouting, sniffling, eyes threatening to spill over once again, "Oh I see," Takeru fiddled with the ends of his jacket.
He couldn't help the rush of concern and worry from overtaking him. No one could stay so icy after seeing Takeru so broken and ruining every attempt at keeping himself held together. Taichi hated seeing people so sad. Hated seeing his friends like this even more. Triple when it came to the innocent ones like Takeru.
"Just come on in already," Taichi stepped aside, making room for Takeru to walk in. Upon seeing Takeru's hesitation, "Come on now, it's better than crying out in the middle of the hallway now right?"
At Taichi's unbashful comment, Takeru blushed and looked down at the ground. He didn't even look up as he marched inside and Taichi closed the door behind him. With a simple few clicks of the lock he was met with Taichi patting his shoulder again, "Uh thank you…Taichi…I'm sorry to barge in here unannounced."
"Nah, it's fine, I'm been pretty boring lately anyway," Taichi smiled, "I just heated up some water though, you want anything? Tea? Coffee?"
Takeru shook his head, "I'm fine."
Taichi rolled his eyes, "Uh huh, 'cause sobbing till your eyes dry up is always an indicator that you're fine," Taichi ruffled the top of Takeru's head nodding toward the couch, "Go sit down, I'll fix you something."
Takeru was going to protest. He had his mouth open for a comeback and was ready with an excuse and everything. But Taichi was already out of view, opening a cabinet to grab another mug before pouring it full with water straight from a kettle. Pouting, ever so slightly, Takeru gave up with a mild sigh before perching himself in the corner of the couch.
He felt silly. He knew that it was a bad idea to come here without properly making arrangements in the first place. But Yamato didn't answer his phone when he tried calling him. And despite reason telling him that it'd be better to wait till the weekend to come over and visit. After what all had happened today, he just couldn't wait for the weekend. Not healthily at least.
How was he supposed to know that Yamato would actually have plans out? Takeru scoffed as he balled his fists on top of his knees and seethed in place. In the end, he could always blame Yamato. Blame him and his stupid inconsistent self who'd complain about always being at home studying, yet staying out all night the one Thursday night Takeru needed to see him.
"Here," Takeru's cursing was momentarily stopped as Taichi came from out of the kitchen. Takeru eyed the small mug that was offered to him, watching the steam waft up from the hot liquid before disappearing into the air around them, "I don't know how you take your coffee, or your tea. So I just made you some hot chocolate." Taichi smiled. The grin on his lips only growing bigger as Takeru nodded and grabbed the mug out from his hands.
"…Thanks," Takeru held his drink with two hands. Still sitting like a parrot on a branch as stared at the swirling brown liquid. Even though he wasn't thirsty. And he didn't feel like drinking something warm while his cheeks were still flushed. But he twirled the mug around, relaxing just a tiny bit as he took a sip of the hot cocoa and was reminded just how nice sweet chocolate drinks were.
Taichi sat on the other end, he also had a mug and he took a large drink out of it, "So," Taichi started, "What happened?"
Takeru ceased his tiny sips, freezing in mid horror and shook his head, "Nothing."
"No point in lying now," Taichi shook his head, "I already know something is wrong. Talking about these things will make you feel better you know."
"I know but…" Takeru took another sip. Shuddering for some reason.
"There's a blanket over on the arm rest."
"Hm? Oh, thanks."
"Its fine you know, I may not be the best at understanding, but I'm a pretty good listener you know?"
Takeru pulled the blanket over him, "It's just an…overreaction, that's all," Takeru took another sip of the hot chocolate, "I'm really fine. It's been a rough day, and I just wanted to vent." Takeru sucked in his bottom lip before sighing out loud, "I'm sorry if I worried you Taichi. I just…was overwhelmed. I'll be okay now."
Takeru sat still with his mug clasped in his lap. He did really mean that. It was just a lapse in judgement that he shouldn't have let get under his skin. But he was tired. He rushed over here thinking he could just complain to Yamato and have him do nothing but mutter the occasional grunt.
That is what he had the emotional capacity for. Not an actual conversation. Especially not one that required opening up.
He looked away from Taichi's eyes. He could feel the intense stare, silently reading him and judging him for all that he has shown already. It burned. It scorched. Takeru felt unusually transparent.
Taichi sighed, but Takeru still kept his downward stare at the floor. He heard Taichi mutter something under his breath, but it was too low for Takeru to actually distinguish what Taichi had said.
What he did notice was Taichi getting up. Scooting over the couch with one simple glide which automatically made Takeru tense up. He snapped his head toward Taichi, mouth agape to formulate some form of question and protest. But it all just died down instantly as Taichi ruffled his hair.
"It's okay," Taichi said. Takeru's hair slid through Taichi's fingers easily as he briefly rubbed his fingertips along his scalp. Maybe it was the softness in Taichi's voice. It also could be that Takeru did enjoy having his hair played with. In the end, the simple gesture did make Takeru's shoulders drop and his hands around the mug loosen. Even when Taichi stopped patting his head, "Just start at the beginning."
Takeru paused, holding the mug loosely in his hands as he glanced up at Taichi, "are you sure? It's not…it's really stupid."
"Obviously not stupid enough for you travel across town to try and talk about this," Taichi shook his head, insisting with the tone of his voice, "You'll feel better if you get it off of your chest."
Takeru bit the inside of his lip. Forcing himself to stay steeled instead of giving into Taichi's inviting offer, "Well, talking with Yamato is different than talking with you. I can waste Yamato's time no problem, but…" He sighed. He sucked the leftover sweetness on his tongue so he didn't have risk his guard slipping by moving.
"Dude, I listen to Yamato ramble on and on about guitar picks and how the heaviness of a pencil will affect his productivity levels," Taichi rolled his eyes. He'd rank that rant number two on the 'most useless diva habits' that Yamato had, "I can handle whatever is upsetting you."
Taichi watched Takeru with open eyes. He saw how he shrunk further as he slouched with an extra added pressure on his shoulders. Takeru's eyes seemed too bleary and his hands were too tense for Taichi's comfort. Takeru's sense of youth and positivity was too far gone for Taichi to simply leave him alone. Granted maybe confrontation wasn't the best way of having Takeru deal with his problems. When Taichi thought about it, the only person he ever helped with emotional stress was with Yamato. And seven times out of ten, it was only because he got tired of dealing with Yamato's passive aggressiveness and wouldn't stop yelling at Yamato until he solved the problem right then and there.
He couldn't resist pouting. Urging Takeru wasn't working. He had the distinct feeling that if he pushed Takeru it'd only make him feel worse. Taichi's headstrong way of caring for his friends deeply wasn't applicable in this case.
But. When in doubt. Act it out. Acting on instinct never failed Taichi before.
Taichi finished his drink in one large gulp. He placed it on the table before scooting over in one smooth glide, ignoring Takeru's flinch, as he reached over. He fixed the blanket around Takeru, properly draping it over the small shoulders as if he were tucking him into bed. He folded the blanket around Takeru's neck, patting it smooth along his shoulder blades, and even making sure it properly covered his arms so he could move without the fleece rolling off.
"Just start at the beginning," Taichi added with a soft smile, he wrapped his arm around Takeru, rubbing his shoulder in slow circles. He could feel Takeru finally relax, so Taichi took it as a positive sign and kept holding onto Takeru.
The silence lingered on for a moment more. The tight grip on the half empty mug was beginning to unravel as Takeru's heartbeat stopped jarring him. He couldn't deny that he felt good to be held like this. Taichi was warm. The crook of his neck was supportive and comfortable. The shoulder rub felt nice. And again, Taichi was warm. Gently so. Better at radiating heat than a fuzzy blanket or freshly sweetened hot chocolate. Takeru couldn't help but sink further against Taichi as he sighed out softly.
"…I've been doing some uh…" Takeru bit his cheek for the last time, "writing lately."
Taichi raised an eyebrow. Not really knowing what kind of response Takeru was expecting from such a vague statement, "Okay, what kind of writing?"
"It's um…well so far it's not a specific style yet."
"I mean what did you write?"
"A story."
"Okay," Taichi chuckled. It was better than nothing at least, "What's the story about?"
"…" Takeru looked down. Taichi noticed Takeru gripping onto his mug tightly again, immediately taking a sip all while still avoiding eye contact, "It doesn't matter," The comment was bitter enough to leave a bad taste in Taichi's mouth, "It's not…I didn't do a good job on it. It was a bad idea in the first place. But I submitted it anyway. And now…"
Takeru stopped himself with a defeated sigh. Taichi didn't need for Takeru to finish before he got the idea, "Where did you submit this story?"
"This little online community," Takeru tried to break the tension with a smile. It didn't work, "It's not that big of deal really. I don't know what I was expecting in the first place. I just decided I'd try it out and see what happens."
"And?"
"And what?"
"What did happen?" Taichi didn't need to hear it explicitly. It was obvious from the lines on Takeru's forehead to the shuffling of his toes. But even if Taichi didn't need to hear it. Takeru did. Things that were spoken out loud couldn't be clouded by anxiety, or pushed aside by denial. And if Takeru was going to deal with this, he'd have to admit it.
By the way Takeru looked away and lost the attempted smile, Taichi could tell that he struck a nerve. Struck a nerve, and snapped it hard. It almost made Taichi hug Takeru tight and start whispering 'it's okay, it's alright' over and over again. But Taichi knew that it wouldn't actually help Takeru. Not in a beneficial way.
"Takeru."
"…"
Takeru still stayed quiet. Not wanting to go into detail about it. This was part of the reason why he wanted to talk to Yamato and no one else. His brother would relent and just pamper him until he felt better. Waiting for Takeru to take his own time in addressing how he was feeling. That's why he came here instead of phoning one of his friends.
"Takeru."
"…No one liked it," Takeru whispered. Immediately, fighting back the first feeling he had when he checked to see what people said and feeling the first pit of anguish drop inside of his stomach, "Barely anyone read it. And those who did had…nothing good to say about it."
Takeru broke into a dry laugh. One that tried not to sound too crack, "Again, I wasn't really expecting anything in the first place. This is just a little board for short stories, and it's not like I spent weeks on writing it…but when I went to check how it was doing and I saw all of the negative feedback I can't help but feel—"
"Discouraged completely?"
"Yeah that."
Because Takeru was talking, his shoulders weren't stiff, and there was some strength in his posture. But after he had finished telling his story, he deflated. Sinking down against Taichi as any feeling inside of him was replaced with lethargy. The only reason why Takeru wasn't slipping down into a puddle on the floor was because Taichi held him up.
Even if Takeru was saying that it wasn't that big of a deal. It was plain to see that he was deeply affected. Taichi didn't blame him, anyone would feel bad if they were faced with such a negative situation. Even if Taichi didn't know the extent of Takeru's hobbies, he could safely guess that writing was something that he favored. If this really was his first time putting himself out there, it made sense that he'd be wounded.
"You know, it's okay to feel bad," Taichi brushed the bangs out of Takeru's head, and lifted up his chin to try to perk him up for a second, "If it's the best that you did, then you have nothing to worry about. It just means that you can improve and you can be better than this."
Takeru nodded, barely, "Yeah I know."
"You can't expect to be amazing right off the bat. Almost everything takes practice. It's not like I didn't fall over all the time when I first played soccer. And I highly doubt Yamato was born knowing how to blow correctly in a metal harmonica. It's okay to be less than perfect."
"I know that too."
This wasn't getting anywhere. Again Taichi was faced with a closed off Takeru with no idea how to open him up. He was starting to feel bad, because it was Takeru of all people that was feeling like this. Feeling something so common that people around the world could identify with such a struggle. Taichi himself had been in and out of such doubtful periods. Soccer. University. Hell, even his major! There have been several times when he had a hit from other's opinions. And while the difficulty varied based off of the comment that was made, Taichi knew what he had to do in order to regain his confidence.
But it seems that any attempt he could make to pull Takeru out of this rut would backfire. Taichi couldn't help someone who couldn't help themselves. He wasn't that kind of a helper. Or that kind of a friend in the first place.
Taichi grit his teeth, now he was wishing Yamato hadn't gone out. That he was here. Making Takeru feel better quickly and efficiently instead of this botched up job.
However, he tried not to show any of that turmoil. Even if it would have gone unnoticed seeing as Takeru never bothered to look up. Right now Taichi's mood wasn't important. Takeru's wellbeing was the pivotal in Taichi's world at the moment. And even if Taichi wasn't the most qualified, he'd have to do his best.
Carefully, so soft that a child would rest undisturbed, Taichi ran his fingers through Takeru's hair. He didn't playfully rough it up, he didn't pat him for a good job—he pet through his scalp easily. Twirling some of Takeru's side bangs around his fingers, even bringing his thumb down to rub behind his ear.
Takeru looked up. Staring at Taichi blankly for a moment. Taichi kept playing with his hair as he gave a small smile. A smile that had all of Taichi's spirit in it, his concern and sentiment, his passion and care. Takeru squinted before lean again in Taichi's chest. The walls he froze were softened. He knew. Taichi just wanted him to be okay, that's all.
"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
Takeru heard Taichi's question clearly. But only mumbled a nondisclosed answer. Taichi was too sincere for Takeru's despair. Takeru couldn't feel better, because he was being stubborn and didn't want to get over it. Such a childish brooding couldn't stand a chance if Taichi kept acting like he'd die if Takeru didn't act cheery again.
Just when Takeru was going to fake happiness just to make feel better, Taichi leaned back into the couch, moving Takeru out of his thoughts. First, the nearly empty mug was placed on the table. Second, Takeru wound up laying down on top of Taichi's chest as the older brunet sprawled out on the sofa. And third, the blanket was pulled around so that they were fully covered.
"Taichi?" Takeru asked, but was once more met with the same comforting petting.
Taichi shushed him, leaning back against the couch's armrest, "I know you don't want to talk about it," Taichi started off, "And if I force you, it's just going to make you feel worse instead of better right? So don't worry, I won't try to push you any further."
"…" Takeru didn't know what he should say to that. He pursed his lips trying to think of something, and was then interrupted by Taichi's low chuckles reverberating through his chest.
"It's late," Taichi spoke through his spaced out laughs, "You're tired from all of the stress you had to deal with today and any further conversation is just going to make you shut down even more. So take a break. Hell, go to sleep even. We can revisit this when you feel calmer and it's easier for you to think about it."
There was a fluffy feeling of both relief and surprise when Taichi so easily laid out his offer, "Well, um…I should probably head home now then Taichi."
"Don't be ridiculous. Its pitch black outside. You're not heading back so late."
"Well—then I can just sleep in Yamato's room. There's no point in staying on the couch."
"…Hm, that's true," Taichi yawned out, "But I'm too lazy to get up right now. I didn't realize just how sleepy I was until I laid down." Taichi smiled like a goofy child, "If you want to head towards Yamato's room, I won't stop you. But I'll probably stay out here."
"That's…" Takeru sighed out. It wasn't like Takeru wasn't tired. He probably would stay over for tonight. Sleeping somewhat soundly before having to make the trip back home. It'd be way smarter of him to just take the bed option, Yamato's room was always decently clean. It wouldn't be that big of a deal.
Takeru groaned, falling flat on Taichi's chest again, nuzzling up like a cat to a fireplace. A room that hadn't been touched all day, where Takeru would have to stay in all by himself. That didn't sound nice at all. Not when the alternative was using Taichi as a pillow and stealing all of the comfort that Taichi had been giving him all night, "I'm not tired yet." He lied. Trying to hide his childish pout.
Taichi's laugh was emphatic without being loud. Takeru could hear it through the chest he was laying on, and the genuineness of it made Takeru smile even, "Well I'm tired," Taichi replied, his voice growing quiet, "stay here for as long as you want then."
"Mmh," Takeru nodded. Resting his head on Taichi, as the other fixed the blanket.
Takeru knew he had been acting out of turn. Considering all of the things he had experienced, truth was he should be more than capable of handling little problems like this. He knew. Knew that and more. But in the midst of his temper he decided to exploit his brother, knowing fully well how Yamato always treats him when he's not happy. Wasting Yamato's time wasn't that big of a deal with Takeru, that's what brothers were for in the first place.
Accidentally running into Taichi, and having him play as his brother's substitute was strange though. Taichi was the one that solved people's problems, not delay them. Takeru felt awkward as Taichi tried to prod him, felt more insecure over how he made such small comments of the internet seem like such a big deal. More so that Taichi had to be the one to hear them all. The only other time Takeru confided in Taichi was when he was a little kid. And that just because he couldn't grasp situations well and cried any time he was scared. He's grown considerably since then. He shouldn't be sweating the small stuff anymore.
Taichi always seemed to have a handle on things. Even if he didn't, he was charismatic and skilled enough to remedy what he was missing and move on without a hitch. A skill that Takeru didn't have the same grace with.
He was glad that somehow along the way Taichi was able to understand him. In the past he didn't think Taichi was capable. But after today, he realized just how considerate of other's Taichi could manage to be. Even if it was despite Taichi's nature to address every conflict to complete closure. For Takeru's sake, he let go of that. Settling back to what Takeru initially came here for, and that was just simple refuge away from a strained situation and uneasy feelings.
"Oh," Taichi yawned once more, covering his wide open mouth with the back of his hand, "One more thing."
Takeru lifted his head, "What is it?"
"Mm, well, you know how you feel bad about the story you wrote right? How it's your first time actually sharing it publically, first time receiving feedback, and also the first time you saw what can go wrong by putting yourself out there right?"
"…Yeah?"
Taichi rubbed one of his eyes, continuing without missing a beat, "I know you've said that you understand that it's just how these things go and you'll get better and over this soon enough," Takeru felt Taichi's hand drop back down, grazing against his back, "You already know this, but still. I think it's important that you hear it."
"Okay."
Taichi patted Takeru's head, ruffling it slightly. Takeru could feel Taichi's fingers snagging on a few hairs before he pet down to the back of his head, "Sure, everyone has trouble when they try something new. Some people stick through it, some people give it up. Those types of choices are both okay depending on the person. But, you were the one that took the first step. And you did it by yourself. That means that this is something that you care about strongly, something that'd make you feel empty if you let go of it."
The corners of Taichi's lips turned upward, not large enough to bare any teeth, but grinning with an unfiltered calmness that struck one of Takeru's heart-strings, "That's impressive, Takeru. And you should feel good that you took the chance in the first place. You might feel bad right now. But if you didn't try this out, you'd feel worse," Taichi absentmindedly tucked a lock of Takeru's hair behind his ear, "You'll figure out what's the best thing for you to do. And with time, you'll be able to look at this whole thing and feel good about it. But until then, I want you to know that you did something good, not everyone is brave enough to try. And I'm happy to hear that you did."
Taichi's demeanor only added to the how Takeru melted when faced with Taichi's smile. The brunet was different than most people, he didn't just offer a smile to people when they were down. He custom made them. Always managing to smile in his eyes to his cheeks and lighting up another's spirit with a touch of his own. Taichi had this undying belief in other people, and Takeru could feel the fire in Taichi's spirit as gently as an ocean's wave.
Takeru pressed his lips together as he nodded, "Yeah. I know."
He wasn't really sure if he could manage to find solid words to put together. He laid back down.
He did know that. Of course he knew that. He just didn't…think about it. Not to the level Taichi spoke of.
Unintentionally, Takeru found himself smiling to himself. Closing his eyes easily as he curled up without the hesitation that has been cursing him since this morning.
Taichi was able to give him the small foundation of closure. Wrapped up in a positive way that allowed for Takeru to lament and hope for the best. The moment where he could look back on this small incident with a fondness was closer than he imagined. The sense of accomplishment that came with failure was a light at the end of the tunnel that Takeru could finally see.
"Thanks Taichi." Takeru rubbed his face against Taichi's chest, happiness laced in his voice.
"Of course," Taichi's voice was bright, just drowsy, "Any time you want to talk about something. I'll be here."
Takeru nodded, letting himself drift off as well. Considering how his brother naturally was, it was far less embarrassing for Takeru to confide in Yamato. His brother always made him dinner, coddled him like he was eight, before letting Takeru bring up his internal conflicts at his own pace.
But, Taichi was kind. And considerate. And damn was he comfortable to sleep on. If there ever was a next time, he'd consider confiding all of his doubts and fears into Taichi. Taichi was a companion, one Takeru realized he could trust.
Takeru sniffed once more. Rubbing his eyes clean just in case. He fell asleep to the beat of Taichi's heartbeat with a comforting smile on his face.
