Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers, end of story, the plot I beleive is mine. Though this is one of the few stories I have that don't contain my OC! Now that I think about it...my oneshots don't have her in it (except my 2 Claymore ONESHOTS one is a sequel). Anyway this is a 2 shot so hope you like it.
Summery: Xellos is bored beyond belief and wants something to do, he see's Lina is bored and Zel muttering Lina's name, he gets an idea; he was going to play Matchmaker, oh the horror! ZL
Authors Note: I have planned a couple of sequels to this, three at the most. GS, MF, and A with someone, maybe a random prince, give me ideas and I will produce. If the charactors are OOC I AM SORRY, I can't help it, I don't plan too, I try to keep them the way they are but...damn the plot and everything takes over, NOT MY FAULT! BLAME THE PLOT! COUGH anyway hope you like this! ENJOY AND REVIEW!
Matchmaker Xellos
Chapter 1-Bored
Xellos was bored, no wars, no fighting, no nothing since the battle with Darkstar. A few seconds later he got a great idea! He would spy on people! But the problem was who to spy on, maybe that group of humans the ones who the Gods and the Mazoku had to look out for. So Lina was a given but who else? Maybe that Chimera who was always fun to tease for Xellos, yeah he had two people to spy on now. Xellos imitated Lina and rubbed his hands together of course he wasn't after treasure or anything like that—like Lina would be—just some entertainment, this was going to be so much fun.
Lina was with that idiot swordsman…which made Xellos think didn't he lose the Sword of Light, so why was Lina running around with him still? Without that sword he was useless, even if he had a regular sword he couldn't really fight the things Lina attracts. It wasn't because she loved that idiot, because Xellos knew she loved someone else.
What did he just hear Lina say? Could it be she was bored? Not only that he could feel her boredom, it matched his own too She didn't say it once she said it over and over too. So now he was sure she had said it in the first place and didn't just make it up.
It was said that someone who Chaos followed like a dog on a leash was bored, Xellos sighed and moved on to spying on Zel, he had thought Lina would be more fun but it seemed that she was not and he hoped that Zel would.
Zel of course was moping around… as usual. He was muttering something and Xellos had to concentrate to hear it. Xellos smiled when he heard what the Chimera was muttering, he was muttering about Lina. That was when Xellos starting thinking about Lina…she was bored! So Xellos being the smart Mazoku he is came up with the most awesome idea ever! It would solve everyone's problem, his and Lina's boredom and Zel wanted Lina! He would be…Matchmaker Xellos!
And anyone in their right minds know that if a Mazoku ever say they have a great or awesome idea it isn't something good, it could never be good, well not for the ones who were included in the 'idea'. Most would say to Xellos if he told him that was: OH THE HORROR! GOD HELP US ALL! SAVE US! Etc, you know the drill; I can bet you can add more…colorful things to say to that.
So Xellos teleported back to Zel and poor Zel jumped a mile high when Xellos said, "Hello Zel-kun!" So if we said Zel was a little startled it would have been an understatement. His face turned as pale as it could get, he did have blue skin after all so it was a little hard to tell. Anyway his face was livid with anger as he marched right up to Xellos, fixing to start chewing his ass out. His tone matched his feelings, which poor Zel should have learned by now Xellos feed off of his negative emotions. Wouldn't the angry Chimera ever learn?
"You damn fruitcake! What the hell? Do you get off on scaring the shit out of me like that? What the hell is your problem and get that damn weird grin off your fruitcake face of yours."
Xellos laughed and said, "I am the answer to your problems…wait Zel-kun don't walk off when I am talking to you. Just listen and hear me out for once. I know where Lina-san is…" Xellos smiled even more, if that was possible for a Mazoku; he was actually feeling happy, if that was again possible. He had to hurry before the shock wore off; at least he had Zel-kun interested, so far so good.
The Chimera was putty in his hands…yet again; it was so easy to manipulate him. It was easy to manipulate everyone, the only human that was hard for him to do that too was Lina Inverse, but she was special. Even he could see that, and he was a freaking Mazoku for goodness sakes.
Xellos told Zel that he was going to…lead him to Lina-san! Zel's face was priceless. After of course he talked to her, then Xellos and Zel started talking and making plans. They ended up with a plan before long…well Xellos certainly did.
MMX
Xellos delivered on his promise and he went to go talk to Lina, he scared the shit out of her too, but there is a big difference between Lina and Zel, Xellos should have remembered. He didn't get a lecture or was being chewed out; no he got that lecture/chew out mixed with physical abuse, pain—just what he loved.
Of course he didn't mind being physically abused and having pain, he loved it and when Lina dear had finally realized this; she stopped and muttered, "Damn pessimistic, sadistic, masochistic MAZOKU!"
Xellos laughed, she was right about a few things, he was a pessimist, but a masochistic and sadistic Mazoku? He had to think about that one he was….maybe a little of both. He decided to give her a little credit.
He dropped and discarded those thoughts and went back to what he was doing, "Now, now Lina-san don't get mad, but I have been watching you ever since we first met—"
She didn't let him finish, "Y...You…you staking mother—" again she was about to sock him one, but stopped when he rolled his eyes at her, he had never done that before, so of course it made her stop.
"Now, now Lina-san listen to me. As I said I have been watching and I have noticed the way you talk to Zel-kun and the way you look at him," he wanted a reaction out of her and boy did he get one. She blushed madly, Xellos pushed her even further, and this was just too much fun he had to go on. He rubbed his hands together and continued on; he had her in just the right spot.
"I have seen the way you act around him too, you hit me more then you hit him! And you don't hit me that much…anymore. You always talk to him as an equal, you talked to him about routes, magic anything Lina-san, everything. You hate it when Amelia gets around him, she totally loves him and you can't stand it, you think she may take him away one day. I can feel the emotions you have when you are around him. Tell me something Lina-san."
He glazed into her eyes, oh yeah he had her in the perfect spot now, just one little push to go.
"Why did you kiss that jellyfish brains guy and act like you love him if you really and truly love Zel-kun?"
She broke, he felt bad now, it wasn't a joke anymore this was serious and though he loved negative emotions and all, this was something he couldn't feed on, he hated seeing Lina like this. She was always so strong, but now, look at what he did to her. He shook his head. But he had to continue on.
He had her in his hands, when she blushed she gave herself away. Good, it wasn't like he thought, she wasn't going to cry and do all that girly stuff. She was putty in his hands now, just like Zel. He laughed evilly on the inside; if he did it out loud it would ruin everything.
"So Lina-san what will you do? Leave the stupid ass I will not, I refuse name to his priestess, which we all know he loves. Let's make a plan Lina-san, for you to meet Zel. Don't worry I will find him for you…please don't hit me Lina-san I am trying to help…sigh…right there…no lower…to the left...yeah hit me there Lina-san…thanks that itch is gone now."
He laughed as he teleported away, leaving a very, very angry, confused and blushing Lina Inverse behind. Maybe he shouldn't have done that, it just made her really mad. But it sure as hell was funny!
